Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  “Which horse?”

  “Morning star.”

  I cringe. Morning Star is a broodmare, one that is currently in foal. She was bred to a stud whose fees are fifteen thousand dollars. Not to mention, she’s been with us since she was a baby---over ten or so years now. I’m sure Dad and Aaron are both worried sick about her. They both try to play tough guy, but are just as attached to the horses as Mom and I.

  “Anything I can do?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  “Well, I think I’m going to get some editing done before I leave for the airport.”

  “Sounds good. I’m going to pack a cooler with a few snacks and drinks to take up to the stables.”

  Traffic getting to the airport is terrible. When I finally make it, I have to park in the south forty. Luckily, I left to allow plenty of time. I still have thirty minutes before his flight is supposed to land. I find a seat outside of his gate and pull out my Kindle. A girl never leaves home without the necessities. It’s hard to concentrate because I keep checking my watch every five seconds. I’m more excited about seeing him than I should allow myself to be. It’s only been a week. I’ve read the same sentence fifteen times; giving up I slide my Kindle back into my purse. Instead, I pull out my phone and scroll through my Instagram feed. Olivia posted a picture of a cute new pair of boots. I comment I need to know where she got them. I’m a sucker for cowboy boots.

  “Kinley?” My head pops up at the sound of his voice.

  Evan is walking toward me. Without thinking, I jump from my seat and run to him. I throw my arms around his neck and give him a tight hug. Taking a deep breath, I breathe him in. His arms are around me, resting on my waist, and he buries his face in my neck. I’m not sure how long we stand there, but reality crashes around me as to how intimate our embrace is. I pull away and put some space between us.

  His chocolate eyes follow me. “Aaron?” he asks, his voice gruff.

  “Morning Star’s sick. He and Dad have been up most of the night with her. He asked me to pick you up,” I explain.

  His eyes roam over me as he begins moving toward me. My body freezes at his approach.

  Leaning down, he whispers, “Thank you,” against my ear as his lips brush my cheek.

  My breath hitches in my throat.

  Evan stands to his full height, throws his carry-on over his shoulder, and grabs a rather large suitcase. It’s more than I would think he would have traveled with. “Mom and Grandma went a little overboard shopping for the baby.”

  I smile, because my words are still lodged in my throat.

  Evan places his large hand on the small of my back. “If you don’t mind, can we stop by the stables on the way back? I want to see if Aaron and your dad need any help.”

  “Sure,” I manage to say. Evan is one of the good guys through and through. Why does he have to be my brother’s best friend? I can say with 100 percent certainty that if he weren’t, I would have already thrown myself at him.

  I lead Evan outside and to my new SUV. “Wow, is this yours?” he asks.

  “Yeah, my old Honda has seen better days. Business is good at the studio, so I thought it was time. It’s kind of embarrassing pulling up to a shoot driving a beat-up old Honda Accord. This is more professional. I also have a ton of room to travel with props and equipment.”

  “It’s nice. What made you go with a Durango?” he asks.

  “I loved the way it drives, which is important, but it has a great sound system. I was thinking, for the outdoor shoots, I could use that to help whoever it is I’m photographing relax a little. It’s also four-wheel drive, so I can pretty much drive it to the majority of the on-site locations. However, I do have one up on the ridge out by Miller’s place in a few weeks, so that one will be impossible to drive to.”

  “Miller’s old place. Todd Miller?” he asks.

  “Yep, he’s proposing to his longtime girlfriend. He wants me hiding in the background to photograph the entire thing. The ridge is where he took her on their first date.”

  “Huh. You don’t think she’s going to be mad to find out you’ve been hiding in the shadows during a personal moment like that?” he asks.

  “Nope. It’s romantic that he wants to capture the moment. I’m going to take a few posed shots of them up on the ridge as well.”

  “I can see how much you love it.”

  “I really do. It doesn’t feel like a job, and I hope it never does. I love the flexible schedule. When I’m settled down with kids, it will be even more convenient,” I blurt out. I have no idea why I’m saying these things to him. I guess I feel more comfortable because he’s going to be a father soon. “How are your parents? Grandparents?” I ask him, quickly changing the subject.

  “Good. Dad’s weak. The chemo takes a lot out of him. He, Grandpa, and I went fishing. It was nice to spend time with them. Mom and Grandma bought that big-ass suitcase and filled it with lots of pink.” He laughs. “Burp cloths, was that on my list? And onesies?” he asks.

  I can’t help but chuckle at him. “Yeah, some use receiving blankets for burp cloths, and onesies are a very important part of a baby’s wardrobe,” I reply.

  Evan’s quiet in the seat next to me. “Hey,” I say, taking a quick glance over at him. “You okay?”

  I hear him release a heavy sigh. Glancing over again, I see his eyes are shut and his head is resting back against the seat. Reaching over, I lay my hand on top of his. I know this is hard for him, and I wish I had the words to make it all better.

  He doesn’t say a word. He just laces his fingers through mine, and that’s how we drive the rest of the way to the stables.

  Chapter 13

  Evan

  After checking to see if Aaron and Jerry need anything, McKinley drives me home. I’m surprised when she turns the engine off. Don’t get me wrong, I want her here, but I’m fighting what feels like a losing battle to stay away from her. Today, just the simple things like asking about my family and reaching over to hold my hand. She’s just…there, and I feel myself slipping more each day.

  “I kind of have a surprise for you. I want to see your face when you see it,” she admits with a soft blush crossing her cheeks. I want to lean over this fucking console and taste her lips. Instead, I nod and climb out of her SUV. She opens the back, so I can retrieve my luggage, and follows me up the stairs. I’m digging in my pocket for my key when she says, “I got it.”

  I watch her take my key, which is on her keyring, and open my front door. The act is all kinds of domestic and everything I realize I’m starting to crave with her.

  McKinley steps inside and turns on the lights. I place my bags in the foyer and follow her into the living room. The room is covered in gift bags—mostly pink and all representing a baby. “What is all this?” I ask as I walk further into the room.

  McKinley is sitting on the floor in the middle of all the bags, wearing a smile---my smile. The one she saves for me. At least that’s what I tell myself. I don’t ever see her share it with anyone else.

  “This is for you and your daughter. Mom and the ladies at the church had a great-granddaughter shower for your Grandma Ethel.”

  “They didn’t have to do that,” I say in a low voice. I feel like a chick for how emotional this gesture is making me.

  “No, they didn’t. They wanted to, Evan. Having a baby is a big deal. You’re going to have this little person who not only needs lots of love and attention, but a lot of other stuff too. It’s a rite of passage to have a baby shower. We knew we could never convince you to let us have one for you, so we enlisted your grandma.”

  Kicking off my boots, I take a seat across from her on the floor. “Kinley, I don’t…”

  “I know, Evan,” she says softly.

  I want to kiss her. I want to lean in and capture her lips, bruise them with my kiss. This girl…

  “So,” she clears her throat, tearing me away from my inappropriate thoughts, “I was going to put it all away, but then I changed my mind. I k
now Misty’s not in the picture and this is all so unconventional, so I was kind of thinking you and I could go through it all. That way you will know what you have, and it will be like you were at the shower, only it’s just the two of us.”

  Just the two of us, if she only knew the images those words cause in my mind.

  “I’d like that,” I finally say.

  “Yay!” She claps her hands and hands me a bag. We spend the next hour going through each gift. She’s glowing with excitement---excitement for me and my daughter. This girl is wrecking me.

  “Now we get to pack it all upstairs.” She grins at me. “Oh, maybe we should take all the tags off the clothes and blankets. I’ll pick up some detergent tomorrow, and then we can wash it before we put it all away. We’ll know everything in her room is good to go.”

  We.

  She’s including herself into my world; into my daughter’s world. I quickly stand to keep myself under control.

  “I have detergent,” I say, heading to the kitchen for a pair of scissors.

  “You need special detergent for babies. They have sensitive skin. You don’t have to use it forever, but the first several months at least,” she explains.

  “And you know all of this how?” I ask her. I need to keep her talking to keep my mind off what I really want to do to her.

  “It’s a gift.” She smiles.

  After another hour of removing tags, we have two piles. One pile of laundry and one pile of everything else. “I’ll grab a basket.” I climb to my feet and head upstairs to the laundry room.

  I find Kinley in the kitchen. The counter is now covered with bottles, what I just recently learned was a bottle brush, plates, cups, forks, and spoons—all the baby stuff that goes in the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure where you wanted it, so I just left it here.” She points to the counter.

  “That’s fine. I’ll figure it out,” I tell her.

  “Okay, so I’m going to take the rest of it up to her room, since we can’t really do the laundry without detergent.”

  I follow behind her like a lost puppy. The reality of the situation is I would follow her anywhere. It’s wrong on so many levels, and I could never admit it to anyone but myself. If McKinley Mills ever needs anything, I’m her guy.

  Once we reach the baby’s room, she busies herself placing lotions and creams on the shelf below the changing table. There are a few packs of diapers and she stores them in the drawer below. She puts the handful of toys in a white basket with a liner the same color as the walls and places the lone teddy bear in the corner of the crib. I watch her as she works, letting her do her thing.

  “There,” she says, folding the last bag and placing it inside the other one. “Now we have a better idea of what you need for her. This will make planning a lot easier.” She moves toward me.

  As she shifts closer, I snake my arm around her waist and pull her into me. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so fucking bad, but I know when I do, I won’t be able to stop. Instead, I mimic our earlier embrace at the airport and bury my face in her neck. I feel her arms wrap around my waist and it takes every ounce of willpower I have to not say, ‘Fuck it.’

  Realizing I’m still holding her, I reluctantly back away. She looks up at me, those brown eyes are filled with question. I gently cup her cheek and run the pad of my thumb across her lips. “Thank you for everything, McKinley. I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without you.”

  Bringing her hand to my cheek, she mimics my actions. “I wanted to. I’m so damn proud of you, Evan Chamberlin.” She stands on her tiptoes and places a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. Before she has a chance to pull away, I wrap my arms back around her and hold her close. Just hold her.

  The ringing of one of our cell phones downstairs has her pulling away. “You’re going to be the best damn daddy to this little girl.” She squeezes my arm as she walks around me and heads down the steps.

  I stand still, missing the heat of her body against mine. I want to chase after her and beg her to stay. I wait too long, battling with my emotions. I hear the soft click of the front door and the sound of her engine starting.

  She’s gone.

  I meant what I said, I don’t know how I would be this far, be this ready for my daughter to come into this world, without her help. I need her help. I can’t risk sleeping with her and fucking it all up. I would lose her and more than likely, my best friend in the process. My focus needs to be on my daughter, on making sure I have everything she will need for the day I bring her home---just me and her. As bad as I want McKinley at this moment, I know I can’t have her.

  I hope I didn’t ruin the friendship we’ve built.

  Chapter 14

  McKinley

  I’m trying to edit last night’s session, but I keep getting distracted thinking about Evan. Misty has a doctor’s appointment today and I know Evan is nervous. He says she’s not very big and the doctor has been on her about eating more, that the baby could have a low birth weight. It doesn’t help matters that she’s still hanging out with that Tom character. I can see how much it’s hurting him, not because he loves her, but because he’s afraid for his daughter. He’s constantly stressing over where she is and what she’s doing. What the people she has chosen to surround herself with are doing.

  My phone rings and Olivia’s name lights up my screen. “Hello.”

  “Kinley, hey girl! What do you have going on tonight?” she asks.

  “Nothing really. Why, what’s up?”

  “Mike has a new band coming to the Tavern tonight. Come with me?”

  A night out sounds perfect to me. I haven’t really been out since the night Evan told us he was going to have a little girl. “I’m in,” I tell her.

  “Yes! Okay, do you want me to pick you up or do you just want to meet there?”

  “I’ll just meet you there. What time?” I ask. If I drive, I won’t be stuck there all night. Olivia will more than likely drink herself into a coma and Mike will have to drive her home.

  “Seven, sound okay?”

  “Yeah, sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

  As soon as I hit end, my phone alerts me to a message. It’s a voicemail. Tapping on the call list, I see Evan tried to call. I wonder why it didn’t alert me he was calling. I click on listen and hear his deep voice come through the speaker.

  “Hey, Kinley, it’s Evan. Uh, Misty showed up for the appointment, but her weight is extremely low. The baby is measuring three weeks smaller than she should be. I was just calling because I promised you I would. Talk to you soon.”

  My heart breaks for him. I start to call him back, but decide maybe he needs a friend right now. I quickly save my edits, grab my keys and my phone, then head out the door. It’s a short drive to get to Evan’s place. Parking beside his truck, I make my way to the front porch. Even though I have a key, I still knock on the door. I don’t live here and Evan’s not my boyfriend. I feel like I would be abusing the privilege if I just barge on in.

  I raise my hand to knock and the door flies open. Evan stands still, just watching me. I don’t know what to say. I can see the worry written all over his face. I wish I could throat punch Misty for the shit she’s putting him through. Evan holds out his hand and without hesitation, I accept it, allowing him to pull me into the house.

  As soon as the door closes, he pulls me into a tight hug. I can feel the tension in his stance. Today’s visit worries him---as it should. This is his little girl we’re talking about.

  I wish I could make it better, take this worry off his shoulders. He’s doing this alone. I hold him tight, trying to show him I’m here for him. If I had my way, I would never let go.

  Evan finally pulls away from the hug, laces his fingers through mine, and leads me to the living room. He lays down on the couch and gives my hand a gentle tug, letting me know he wants me to lie down with him. No words are said as I silently nod and settle in front of him, my back to his front. He wraps his arms around me and holds tight. I cover
his hands with mine, wanting that connection, to let him know I’m here, to offer him some type of comfort.

  We lie there together in the silence of the room. My fingers trace the corded muscles of his arms, which are wrapped securely around me. I’m aware of every breath he takes. At first, they are quick, but fade into long even breaths. This is when I let myself relax, knowing he has.

  “I’m worried about my little girl,” he says softly. “She’s not taking care of herself, Kinley. I don’t know what to do. The baby is measuring small and the doctor keeps warning her she needs to eat more. She gives him a blank stare and I just want to shake her,” he says in a rush.

  I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything. I don’t think I’ve ever said I hate someone, but in this moment, I hate Misty. I hate how she wants nothing to do with Evan and this baby girl she’s carrying. I hate her because she’s not taking care of herself and she’s putting Evan’s daughter in danger. I hate her because she’s the one carrying his baby.

  I’m in deep.

  Rolling over so we’re face to face, I study him—the strong angle of his jaw and his shaggy brown hair that hangs down into his brown eyes. Unable to stop myself, I reach up and run my fingers through his hair. His eyes bore into mine, both of us refusing to look away.

  Evan pulls me closer, our faces now mere inches apart. Our eyes never wander, his chocolate irises so full of despair. I want to take it away. I want to help him forget about the worry, just help him relax. Without further thought, I lean forward and press my lips to his. He doesn’t respond at first, but I don’t let that stop me. I softly kiss him again, running my tongue across his lips.

  “McKinley.” My name is a feather-soft caress falling from his lips as he presses them hard against mine.

  I suddenly have no control over the situation. Evan’s hand, which was resting on my back, slides up the back of my neck, holding me in place. His lips, soft yet firm, devour mine. I hear a low moan and realize it was me. I want more of him---all of him.