Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  “What if it’s not? What if this is permanent?”

  “Oh, Evan, we both know that’s not what this is.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Watch your language around her,” she fires back.

  Lexi starts to cry and McKinley reaches for her. “Aunt Kinley’s here, baby. Let’s get you home.” She takes her and straps her in the seat. Instead of sitting up front with me like she did on the way here, she climbs in the back to sit with Lex. I don’t regret what I said, but it’s apparent she still doesn’t feel the way I do. My chest feels like a knife has been twisted through it, but I don’t let it show. Instead, I drive my girls back to the house and unload McKinley’s equipment while she takes Lexi in and makes her a bottle.

  I kick the Mule’s tire once they are inside, swallowing the scream that wants to tear from my throat. The woman I love, my wife, doesn’t love me back. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

  Chapter 51

  McKinley

  As soon as Lexi is finished with her bottle, she’s sound asleep. I lay her in her crib and walk across the hall to our room. My heart is breaking. Little tiny shards of it fall away each day closer to the trial. When she called me momma…devastating. I want that so much.

  I curl into a ball on the bed and let the tears fall. I hear Evan downstairs. He agreed with her, but he’s caught up in this, in us being real while there is still a threat of Misty’s parents. I can’t let myself be mom and have it taken away. I just…can’t. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

  When I wake a little while later, I feel warm lips press against my neck. “I don’t want to fight with you, McKinley,” Evan says softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t correct her. I will in the future. I just…I don’t want to fight with you, baby.” He sounds broken. “I don’t like finding you in our bed with your cheeks wet from tears. It breaks my fucking heart. I just want you happy. Today was amazing and I want that back,” he says.

  I roll over to face him. “Today was amazing,” I confess. His thumb traces my lips. “I love her, Evan. I love her so much, and I just…don’t want to confuse things---confuse her. I know she’s just a baby and she won’t remember today, but can we…”

  “I’m sorry,” he says, pulling me tighter against his chest. “Let’s go back. If she does it again, we’ll just ignore it or tell her your name. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing with her.”

  “You do. It was impulse from the day we were having. I’m not angry and I don’t want to fight with you either.”

  “Thank fuck,” he mumbles as his lips take mine.

  Within minutes, we’re both naked and he’s reaching into the nightstand for a condom. As soon as he slides in, we hear Lexi whimper over the baby monitor. “Great timing, baby girl,” he chuckles, resting his forehead against mine.

  “She can wait a few minutes. She’s not crying and…” I raise my hips.

  “Yeah?” he asks.

  I nod. Lexi whimpers again. “Hard and fast,” I say, biting my bottom lip.

  “But this is make-up sex,” he pouts.

  I smile. “It’s with you, Evan, that’s all that matters. Now get busy before Miss Lexington decides we’re missing the party.”

  That’s all the motivation he needs before he slides out and slams back in. I wrap my legs around his waist and grip onto his back, holding on for the ride. “Help me, beautiful,” he pants. I nod and slide my hand between us. The sensation of touching myself while he pushes in and out of me isn’t new for us. This isn’t the first time we’ve had to work around Lexi’s sleep schedule.

  A few rotations of my two fingers and I’m close. “So close,” I breathe.

  “Me too,” he tells me as he sucks a nipple into his mouth. The sensation has me screaming out his name. This, in turn, causes Lexi to scream as well.

  Evan stills; then he’s resting his weight on me.

  “She’s not impressed.” He grins.

  “No, she’s not, but we usually run right to her. She’s a little spoiled,” I admit.

  “Yeah,” he agrees, lifting off of me. I run to the bathroom and clean up while he discards the condom, throws on some shorts, and goes to soothe a pissed off Lexi.

  When I step out of the bathroom, I find them lying in bed. “She looks happy.”

  “Yep, as soon as I stepped into her room, her tears stopped. I think you’re right about being spoiled.”

  “Yeah, but we wouldn’t have her any other way,” I say, lying down beside them.

  “Can you watch her for a minute while I clean up?” he asks.

  “Sure, we’ll just go downstairs and look for something to make for dinner.”

  “Why don’t we just order pizza? That new little market down the road delivers to us now. Let’s try it out.”

  “Perfect. Do you have the number?”

  “Yeah, there’s a menu hanging on the fridge. Just order whatever. I’m easy, but I’m starving.”

  “Got it.” I gather Lexi and the few toys she was playing with and we make our way downstairs. I put Lex in the pack-n-play while I order the pizza.

  A few minutes later, the three of us are on the couch watching Shrek. Evan was flipping through the channels and, as soon as the green ogre popped on the screen, Lexi’s babble stopped and her eyes were glued. “Who would have thought?” Evan says.

  I laugh. “All kids love cartoons. We need to get you some princess movies, Lex,” I tell her. She doesn’t budge at the sound of my voice. “Looks like we take a backseat to the talking donkey,” I laugh.

  The doorbell rings. “Shit. My wallet’s upstairs. Can you get the door and I’ll run up and get it really quick?”

  He’s already up and moving. I pick Lexi up and she babbles on, reaching for the television. I’m afraid she’s going to cry until she sees we’re walking toward the front door. The girl loves being outside and going bye-bye, that’s for sure.

  “Da da da,” Lexi says, grabbing my attention as I open the door.

  “Sorry, my husband’s getting his…” I stop talking when I look up and see who’s standing in front of me. “W…what? H-how?”

  “Sorry, man, how much…what the fuck?” Evan exclaims as he pushes Lexi and I behind him.

  “They told me you were dead,” he says, matter-of-fact.

  “Hi, Evan. Can I come in?” Misty asks.

  “No! You’re not coming anywhere near her,” he seethes. “Baby, take her inside,” he says to me.

  I do as he says, not wanting Misty to get her hands on Lexi. She was supposed to be dead. What the hell is going on?

  Chapter 52

  Evan

  This cannot be happening.

  “Evan, I need to talk to you,” Misty pleads.

  I hold my hand up, stopping her, and she clamps her mouth shut. Shit! I can’t let her in. I don’t want her around Lexi, but I need Kinley. I need her by my side for this. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I call Aaron. “Hey, man, where are you?” I wait for him to answer. “Can you come and get Lex? I’ll explain when you get here, but I need you to come and get her, sooner rather than later.”

  “I’m not here to take her, Evan,” Misty says quietly.

  “I don’t give a fuck! I’m not letting you near her. You can wait out here until Aaron gets here,” I seethe.

  I send McKinley a text.

  Me: Hey, I called Aaron. He’s coming to get Lexi. Can you get her bag

  ready?

  McKinley: Yes, everything okay?

  Me: I don’t know, baby. I just don’t want her near her.

  McKinley: Okay.

  Aaron pulls in a few minutes later. His eyes grow wide when he sees Misty standing on my front porch. “Turns out she’s not dead after all,” I say in greeting.

  “I can see that. Where are the girls?” he asks.

  “Inside. McKinley has her bag ready. Thanks for taking her, man. I don’t want her here for this.”

  “No problem, bro. McKinley?”

  “I need her here wi
th me,” I say honestly.

  He nods in understanding.

  I open the door. “McKinley, Aaron’s here.” Not a second later, she appears with a smiling Lex in her arms, carrying the diaper bag. When Lexi sees Aaron, she reaches for him.

  “Hey, baby girl,” he says to her. “You get to come hang out with Uncle Aaron for a little while.”

  “You have a car seat?” McKinley asks him.

  “Yeah, I just leave it in all the time these days. She loves to go for rides.” He smiles. “Call me,” he says and I nod.

  I put my arm around McKinley and we watch as they pull out of the drive. “Let’s get this over with,” I say, turning and holding the door open for both of them.

  McKinley leads the way to the living room, Misty right behind her. I take a seat on the couch and pull McKinley down beside me. “Talk.” I point to the chair. Misty takes the hint and sits.

  “It’s a long story, but I assure you, I’m not trying to take her from you.”

  “We’re listening,” I say. My hand is squeezing Kinley’s so tight I’m sure I’m about to cut off her circulation. I will my grip to loosen so I don’t hurt her.

  “She’s beautiful, Evan,” Misty says.

  “Talk,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “Okay.” She takes a deep breath. “Growing up in my house was not a pleasant experience. My parents never wanted me, but it was the southern thing to do, for a man in politics—get married and have a family. They had me, and then hired a nanny to raise me.” She wrings her hands together, never looking at us. “I never got hugs or kisses, never had my mom or dad lie in bed with me at night and read me a story. I had nannies. Nannies who were instructed to not spoil me by showing me affection.”

  How did I spend a year of my life with her and not know this?

  “I never wanted kids. I was too afraid I would be like my own parents, and no child deserves that. I can admit I’m selfish and spoiled. I was raised to be. I finally got the courage to leave home with their blessing because I was in college. It worked for their social circle to say I was ‘off at school,’ but what my parents didn’t know was I was biding my time until I could get as far away from them as possible.” She looks up and her eyes land on my hands gripping McKinley’s tightly.

  “I turned twenty-five about a month after she was born. Every day, I felt guilt for not loving her. What kind of person doesn’t love their own flesh and blood?” she sobs. “I was wracked with guilt. I didn’t know how to fix it. How to let her know how sorry I was, and how signing over my rights to you was what was best for her. On my twenty-fifth birthday, I got the call. My grandparents, my mom’s parents, left me a trust fund. I had no idea. Their rules stipulated I was to not have access until my twenty-fifth birthday. The guy on the phone told me the fund was ten million dollars.” She looks up at me, tears in her eyes.

  “That’s when it hit me. I could make sure you and Lexington were always taken care of. I know you make a good living, but this was something I could do. Not only that, but I could make a fresh start for myself. I could break free from the parents who never loved me as well.”

  “How did you do it?” I ask her.

  “My parents’ attorney.” She grins. “Money talks and he signed a non-disclosure to not discuss any of this with my parents. Client confidentiality and all that. He helped me with the car accident, my new identity, and setting up an offshore account with five million dollars, and he also helped me set up a trust for Lexi. It was my stipulation that you not be notified until she turned one. I wanted to give you time to not hate me as much, to let some of the pain I caused you fade before you were notified I willed your daughter five million dollars in the event of my death.”

  “Holy shit,” Kinley whispers.

  Misty smiles. “It was a great plan, except for the fact it turns out the attorney sleeps with his secretary. She is also sleeping with my father. I was unaware or I would have chosen someone different. However, what’s done is done.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I tell her.

  “Don’t say anything. The less you know about the how and where the better. I got word that my parents found out and were coming after you for custody of her. Turns out, they’re in financial trouble and gaining custody of her also gained them the five million dollars I willed to her in the event of my death. As soon as I found out what they were trying to do, I hopped on a plane and here I am.”

  “They’re going to be pissed.”

  Misty gives a humorless laugh. “Yeah, it’s safe to say I will more than likely be spending some time behind bars for my little disappearing act.” She shrugs. “It’s my own fault. I should have put the money into an account and sent you the information. I thought about it, but I knew you would never take it, not with me still alive. I knew if you found out about my death and then the money you would save it for her, for her future. That’s all I wanted.”

  She looks at McKinley and then to me. “I’m sorry for what the two of you have gone through. My parents are not nice people, and there is no way I would let them get their hands on your daughter.”

  “Thank you,” McKinley says before slapping her hand over her mouth.

  “No, it’s okay,” Misty assures her. “I could see, just from the small interaction, you love her very much. I can tell from the tears in your eyes as I told you my story. I’m glad you’re her mom. I gave birth to her, but you are the one who gives her love and affection. I don’t have that in me to give.”

  “Someday?” McKinley says.

  “Maybe. I’ve been seeing a therapist, which is long overdue.”

  “I don’t know what to say to all of this,” I say.

  Misty shrugs. “Nothing. I just wanted to tell you myself that my parents will no longer be an issue. I have money for my legal fees.” She reaches into her purse. “And here is the account information for the money I want to give her. There are no restrictions on it. It’s in your name and hers.”

  She holds it out for me, and I stare at her hand.

  “Evan, take it. I want to do this. I don’t know how to be a mom and I know I wouldn’t be good at it, but I want her to be whatever she wants to be. College, backpacking through Europe, whatever her heart desires—I want her to have the means to do it. I know you, and I know you will let her live her life, not hold her back. I want her to have this.” She shakes the account book at me. “Please,” she says softly.

  I reach out and grab the book, setting it on the table. The doorbell rings and McKinley jumps up. “That’s the pizza. I’ll get it.” She turns to walk away.

  “Babe,” I yell for her. When she turns, I toss her my wallet and she catches it with ease before quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks.

  “You love her,” Misty says.

  “I do.”

  “Good. She’s good for you and your daughter.”

  I need a break from this. “You need something to drink?” How can I stay angry with her when she did this for Lexi? She’s going to jail to keep my daughter safe with me.

  “Sure, water if you have it.”

  “I’ll be right back.” I flee from the room in search of McKinley.

  Chapter 53

  McKinley

  I find Evan in the kitchen pulling three waters out of the refrigerator. He reaches for the boxes of pizza. “I guess it’s a good thing I ordered extra,” I tease him.

  “Come here,” he says gruffly. He pulls me into his arms and buries his face in my neck. “I just need to hold you for a minute.”

  I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tight. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head right now.

  When he finally pulls back, he kisses my temple. “You think we should let her meet, Lexi?” he asks.

  I want to scream no, but I believe her, she doesn’t want to be a mom, not right now anyway. “I think giving her the option would be nice. She’s had a rough life from the sound of it, and she did the right thing. They have no case now.” That also mean
s our agreement will be up. A few more weeks, I would say for appearance’s sake, and then I will be leaving. I push that thought out of my mind for now.

  “I wanted to ask you before I offered,” he tells me.

  “It’s your choice, but I think the offer would be nice. Who knows when we will see her again, and Lexi is too young to remember her.” I know that sounds mean, but psychologically on Lexi, this will mean nothing, but it could mean everything to Misty.

  “Will you call, Aaron? I’m going to have her come and make a plate, if she will,” he adds as an afterthought.

  “Yes.” I kiss his cheek and he hands me his phone.

  I dial my brother. “Hey, bro, everything good?” he asks.

  “It’s me,” I say into the line. “Everything’s good, but it’s a long story. I hate to ask this, but can you bring Lex back? We have pizza,” I say to sweeten the pot.

  “She still there?” he asks.

  “Yes, but it’s really all good. I’ll explain when you get here. We are going to let her meet Lexi,” I tell him.

  “Okay, I’ll wrangle her away from Mom and Dad and be right over.” The line goes dead as Evan and Misty enter the kitchen.

  “Aaron is going to wrangle her away from my parents—his words not mine—and be right over,” I tell Evan.

  “Thanks, babe,” he says.

  Fifteen minutes later, Aaron and Lexi join us. She sees Evan and grins, reaching out for him. “Hey, baby girl,” he says, taking her from Aaron. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” Lexi just pulls at his lips, not a care in the world. He pulls her hands down and turns to face Misty. “Lexington Rae, I would like you to meet Misty. She’s a friend of Daddy’s.”

  I can see him flinch slightly at the word friend, but what else is he supposed to call her? Not that it matters, because Lexi won’t remember this meeting, but for the four other adults in the room, this will be hard to forget.