Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  Looking over her shoulder at me, her eyes sparkle when she says, “I missed you too.” Surprising me, she reaches back and laces her fingers through mine.

  That helps trample some of the anxiety I’m feeling. She said she has a lot to say, and I’m man enough to admit I’m scared as hell she’s going to quit and tell me to stay the hell away from her. She misses me, but she also misses her family.

  “Stacy just sent a text. She’s at the side entrance waiting for us,” Tristan says.

  “Why is she texting you?” I hear Cole grumble. He’s more interested than what he’s telling us. I look forward to seeing how this plays out.

  Logan pulls me toward the side of the building and I let her. I would follow her anywhere. I just need to know what I need to do to get her to understand that.

  Stacy holds the door for each of us and passes out room keys. I hear Cole smart off about how Gavin’s room is closer to her as he stalks off down the hall. The rest of them follow, which leaves Logan and me alone.

  “I’d like to come up and talk to you, if that’s okay? I know you just got in and—”

  I place my finger over her lips, cutting her off. “I’m never going to pass up the chance to spend time with you,” I tell her. Those chocolate eyes light up at my admission, but I can see she’s worried. I take the lead, guiding us to my room so we can talk.

  Sliding the card in the door, I step back and motion for Logan to go in ahead of me. She walks straight to the bed and sits down. I drop my bag on the floor beside the dresser and take a seat beside her.

  Reaching over, she grabs my hand and laces it with hers, resting them on her lap. “Kacen, I’m so sorry for how I acted yesterday,” she starts.

  I stay quiet, letting her work through whatever it is she has to say. I can only hope that when she’s done, I’ll still be a part of her life.

  “I was upset and my heart was aching. I still feel the guilt of not being here sooner, that I didn’t get to see him before he died. Gran assured me that he loved me and could not have been happier for me and the life I’m living in Nashville. She said that just because you don’t live close to your family doesn’t mean they don’t know you love them.” She pauses to look at me with tears in her eyes. “She enlightened me a little on my way of thinking.”

  A lone tear slides down her cheek, so I trace it away with my thumb.

  “I was fighting with myself about loving my new life and feeling guilty for not being involved in my old one. Gran easily pointed out that it’s all the same. That you have to do what makes your heart happy and make sure that those you love, near or far, know how you feel. Just live each day as if it could be your last.”

  “Logan—”

  “Please,” she cuts me off, “let me get this out.” She stands from the bed and turns to step in between my legs. Her small hands cradle my face. Instinctively, I place my hands on her waist and pull her as close as I can get her.

  “I love you, Kacen. I’ve fought this battle inside myself between how I thought I was going to live my life going forward and my heart, which wanted you the minute I laid eyes on you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you yesterday. I wanted to, and as soon as I pulled out of the drive, I was filled with regret, afraid I had lost you, but too jumbled with emotions to be able to sort through it all. Spending time with Gran today helped.”

  I don’t give her time to say anything else. I pull her lips to mine. She moans in the back of her throat as I slip my tongue past her lips. She loves me. I don’t want to stop kissing her, but fuck do I need her to say it again. Reluctantly, I pull my lips from hers and pull her into my lap. I nuzzle my face into her neck and breathe her in.

  Just as I’m about to ask her to say it again, she does. “I love you, Kacen. I want this, whatever this is between us. I want to see where it leads us. I don’t want to fight my heart anymore.” Her voice trails off.

  She fucking loves me!

  “This,” I say, my lips next to her ear, “is forever.” I trail kisses down her neck just as a knock sounds at the door.

  “Go away,” I grumble. This causes Logan to giggle.

  “Kacen, we’re going to my parents,’ remember?” she asks. Her face goes serious. “Wait, you’re meeting my family. If you’re not ready for that, if we’re not there yet, I get it. We can pretend—”

  I place my hand over her mouth. “There will be no pretending. You’re mine. You own me, Logan. I want to meet your family. Meet the people who are important to you. I’m in this, babe. You and me,” I tell her.

  Another loud knock, this time with Stacy yelling, “Let’s get this show on the road. My future hubby awaits.”

  “Let’s do this,” I say, lifting her from my lap. I kiss her deeply before placing her feet back on the floor.

  I place my arm around her waist, grab my room key, and off we go to meet the parents.

  Chapter 42

  Logan

  As soon as we pull into the driveway, Jase is out the front door. He has enough restraint to wait on the front porch while we all pile out of Dad’s Tahoe. Stacy sprints up the steps and wraps him in a hug, which he is all too eager to participate in. Kacen takes hold of my hand and we head toward the house, the guys following along behind us.

  Jase lets go of Stacy and focuses his attention on me. “Come here, you.” I haven’t been able to spend any time with him since I got home. I walk into his embrace, still holding Kacen’s hand. He tries to let go, but I hold tight. Jase notices as his gaze locks on our linked hands. “Sis?” he says in question.

  That alone makes me feel like dirt. I’ve kept my feelings for Kacen from my family. Almost as if I didn’t admit them, they would go away. Not to mention, I have no idea how I’m supposed to introduce him to my family. Do I introduce him as my boss, my lover, my boyfriend? We’ve only slept together one time, months ago, and boyfriend doesn’t seem like a strong enough of a word for what I feel for him.

  Kacen reaches his hand out to Jase. “Kacen. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he tells my brother.

  “Love your work,” Jase replies. He motions his head toward our combined hands. “What’s up with that?” he asks.

  I open my mouth to speak, but Kacen catches me off guard when he brings our joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of mine. I have to swallow the emotion the clogs my throat. He’s one delicious package. He has a body made for sin, his voice blows me away, and he’s a complete contradiction of the stereotype he’s thrown into because of his ink and his profession.

  Our eyes meet and he winks at me. He’s telling me he’s letting me take the reins on this one. I can tell them as much or as little as I want. “Jase, Kacen and I are together.” I try for simple.

  “Together? As in it’s all fun and games or—”

  Kacen cuts him off. “As in, I’m in love with her.” He smirks at Jase’s reaction to his words.

  “What about you?” Jase asks me once he recovers.

  “Head over heels,” I say, my eyes never leaving Kacen’s.

  He leans in and kisses my temple. I love when he does that. A simple gesture to show me, and anyone who happens to be watching, that he cares about me. That he wants us. It’s a feeling that only he has ever elicited within me, and I don’t think I will ever get enough.

  Jase accepts my heartfelt declaration with ease. “Mom and Dad are in the house. They’re setting the food out. I hope you all are hungry,” he addresses the group.

  I motion for everyone to follow me and go in search of my parents. Once we are all in the kitchen, I take the time to make proper introductions to everyone. I leave Kacen for last, and as I introduce him, Jase pipes up. “They’re together.” He motions between me and Kacen. “He says he loves her,” he announces with a grin. I love my little brother, but I’m going to kill him.

  “She’s easy to love,” my dad says. He reaches out to shake Kacen’s hand. “Take care of her. I worry about her living so far away,” he tells Kacen.

  “Always.”
His voice rings true with conviction. Dad must hear it too. He nods and then starts talking to the guys about touring, the new album, and even my role in their lives. They’re all protective of me and make sure Dad knows I’m being looked after. Not that I need it. I’m a grown woman, for goodness’ sake. It’s a male thing. I don’t protest. I just let them have their say and enjoy the fact that my future is colliding with my past. This is my present, and I want to live each day as such.

  After introductions, time flies by. The guys are chatting it up with Dad and Jase while Mom, Stacy, and I sit out on the back deck. “He seems great. They all do,” Mom says.

  “Pshh, that boy thinks our girl here walks on water,” Stacy quips.

  “He does seem quite taken with you, and you him.” Mom grins.

  “Yeah,” I agree with them. What else can I say? It’s true.

  Loud rounds of laughter reach us outside and curiosity gets the best of us, so we head in to see what the deal is. We find them in the living room, all of them wearing huge grins.

  “What did we miss?” Stacy asks. She sits on the arm of the couch closest to Cole. I watch as he snakes his arm around her.

  “Just telling stories of when we were on tour,” Tristan says.

  “You would not believe the shit people do,” Gavin adds.

  “I can only imagine,” I say. I’ve seen the fan mail and have been out in public with all of them at one point or another over the past few months. Bitches be cray-cray.

  Kacen stands and walks to me. Bending down, he whispers, “I love you.”

  My heart melts at his words. He stands beside me, his arm over my shoulders as if he didn’t just light my world on fire with three little words. I will never be tired of hearing him confess his love.

  Stacy covers her mouth as she yawns. “Sorry,” she apologizes.

  “Don’t be sorry. It’s getting late. I should get you all back to your hotel.”

  “I hate that you got rooms. You all could have stayed here. We have the space,” Mom says.

  “We didn’t want to impose. We know you have a lot going on right now,” Stacy tells her.

  “Never an imposition. You’re all are taking care of our little girl,” Dad says to the guys. Not that he doesn’t include Stacy, but again it’s a male thing.

  “Dad, I’m going to run them home in the Tahoe,” I say.

  “I hate you driving back late by yourself. Can you stay with Stacy?” he asks.

  Ummm, yes, but I won’t. I hope to be wrapped up in Kacen, preferably all night long.

  “Absolutely,” Stacy chimes in, saving my ass.

  “Good. We’ll see you all tomorrow. Thank you for coming to support Logan and pay your respects. It means a lot to know she’s surrounded by good people,” Dad says.

  After another round of goodbyes, we’re out the door. Kacen walks me to the passenger side and opens the door. “I’ll drive. You’ve had a long day.” He waits for me to climb in, then leans in and kisses me softly before shutting the door. As soon as we are on the road, he reaches over and rests his hand on my leg. I run my fingers up his arm; his corded muscles twitch under my touch.

  Excitement bubbles inside as I realize that I finally, after all these months, get to sleep in his arms. Not because he’s consoling me as my tears wet his shirt, not because we fell asleep watching TV, but because he loves me.

  Living life to its fullest.

  Chapter 43

  Kacen

  As much as I want to sink inside of her, feel her from the inside again, I won’t. She’s had a rough couple of days and my need to take care of her outweighs the desire to ravish her. As we enter the hotel room, I drop the keys on the dresser and head straight for the bathroom. Stacy reserved us luxury suites. I make a mental note to thank her. Turning on the hot water, I start running a bath for Logan. She can soak for a little while and relax. I’ll then spend the night with her in my arms.

  Shit! I know I sound like a whipped fuck, but, honestly, I have no control over it when it comes to her. She’s number one, and being near her is essential to me.

  After I get the water temperature just right, I call out for her. She appears at the bathroom door with a puzzled expression on her face. I pull her into my arms. “Let me take care of you.” Stepping back, I slowly lift her arms over her head. Gripping the bottom of her shirt, I lift it up and over her head, tossing it on the floor.

  She’s gorgeous and I should have left her alone to get undressed. I’m torturing myself, but it’s a sweet torture, one that I will gladly accept.

  She licks her lips and I run my thumb across them. I slowly trace her cheek, allowing my index finger to trail down her neck. I continue over the swell of her breasts and across her tight, toned stomach. I don’t want to rush this, undressing her. I want to catalogue every second for a later time. I’ve dreamed of the time that I would get to see her again like this, to touch her soft skin.

  Focus, Kacen!

  My hands reach the waistband of her blue jean shorts and I make quick work of the button. I pull her into a kiss as I slide the zipper down and guide her shorts over her hips, letting them fall to the floor.

  I continue to slowly tangle my tongue with hers, savoring her. Without breaking the kiss, my hands travel to her back and unsnap her bra. I leisurely pull it from her shoulders and toss it over my shoulder. I guide my hands down her sides, stopping to run the pad of my thumbs over her now hard nipples. She moans deep in her throat.

  I keep going. Eventually, my hands arrive on her hips, and I have to break our kiss. I kneel before her and slide her barely-there panties down her legs. Not able to resist, I place a wet kiss just below her belly button. Her hands fly to my hair and she tugs me to her. I let her pull me close, but I don’t make another move. I need to stop now, or else my idea of taking care of her tonight, emotionally, will be out the fucking window. She’s so responsive and I’ve longed for her every day for months.

  I have to use every bit of willpower I have to stop from devouring her. Instead, I look up at her. “Time for a bath.” I motion my head toward the tub.

  “You ran me a bath?” There is awe in her voice, like she’s surprised I would do that for her.

  That ex of hers couldn’t have shown her an ounce of care or love. Never again will she ever feel like she’s nothing but the most important person in my world.

  “Yes, a bath. It’s been a rough couple of days and you deserve to relax.”

  She chews on her bottom lip as her gaze stays locked on the tub. I place my index finger under her chin and guide her to look at me. “What’s wrong?”

  She shakes her head. “Nothing, I just . . . will you get in with me?” she asks. Her voice is soft and hesitant.

  “Anything you want, baby.” I quickly strip out of my clothes and turn the overhead light off in the bathroom. This leaves just a small nightlight over the sink giving off a soft glow. Reaching over, I turn off the water and guide myself into its warmth. Taking her hand, I hold tight as she steps in one foot at a time. Slowly, she sits down in front of me, and I waste no time grabbing her hips and pulling her close, aligning her wet, slick body with mine.

  Heaven.

  “This is nice,” she says.

  “Hmmm,” I agree. Nice isn’t really strong enough to explain how this feels, having her this close to me again with nothing between us. This time, she’s mine, and we both know it.

  “Say something,” she tells me.

  I kiss her temple. “What do you want me to say?”

  “Anything, I just like hearing your voice.”

  She fucking owns me.

  It’s just me and my girl. No one is here to witness me serving my balls to her on a silver platter, not that I would care. I will never hesitate to let anyone and everyone know who she is and how important she is to me. Man card be damned.

  “I was angry the morning after in Hawaii. I woke up reaching for you, and I was angry that you were gone.” I’ve never talked to her about this, not really. “I w
ent for a walk on the beach and ended up peering through the window of your rental. I was desperate to see you again.” I cup water in my hands and cover her breasts.

  “Even then, I knew there was something different between us, a connection I’d never felt. I tried telling myself it was just because I wanted you again, wanted more of you but it was more than that.”

  “I was scared,” she admits. “I thought I was going crazy thinking there was that strong of a connection with a guy I’d known a week. It was a first for me, and my emotions were all over the place.”

  “I left early. I called Cassidy and had her take care of it. I couldn’t be there without you. The memory of our night haunted me. I needed to come home.” I wrap my arms around her waist. “Then, when I walk through the door, I’m told that my new assistant, who was supposed to be male, is actually female. I was pissed until I walked into that room and laid eyes on you.”

  “I was already scared you were going to fire me, and then when I saw you, I was sure I was losing my job.”

  “I had to keep myself from rushing you, throwing you over my shoulder, and carrying you off to my room. No way was I letting you go. I had to play the game. I couldn’t let you see how you affected me. Not after you left in the middle of the night.”

  “I wanted to stay,” she says softy as she stands. My eyes are glued to her gorgeous wet body as she slowly settles into my lap. I scoot forward, allowing her room to wrap her legs around me. “I need to see you for this part,” she whispers.

  Her hands roam over my chest. She leans down and kisses my neck. I grip her hips and fight like hell to not slip inside of her. I’m not covered, and I have no idea how she feels about going bare. I couldn’t give a fuck less about the risks of pregnancy, but again, I have no idea how she feels. My fucking heart skips a beat at the thought of part of me growing inside of her.

  Her chocolate eyes sparkle in the dim light as they lock on mine. “You’ve shown me what it feels like to be the center of your world. You’ve shown me what it feels like to feel safe and confident in a relationship. I know we’ve not really been official, but you never wavered on how you treated me or how you felt about me. When you said I love you yesterday, I wanted to tell you then. I’m not sorry though. I’m glad it worked out the way that it did. I needed to come to terms with things on my own, and now you’re here.”