“I know I’m the last woman on the planet to ask dating advice from, considering I never date these days, but I don’t know that I agree with Isla. If you want to date him, shouldn’t you at least try to see what might be there?”
“I don’t want to date him,” I said and I meant that emphatically. “Because if I date him, I’ll fall in love with him, and there is no future in that. I’ll wind up with a broken heart, I’ll break my son’s heart, and I will waste valuable years I could have spent finding a forever guy.” That put me back on solid footing. Eye on the prize. “Even if Maddox wants to date now, in a year he’ll realize he’s way too young for all the responsibility of dating a mom. He has half of his twenties still to be a selfish single guy. With a big dick, I might add. That is something that frankly should be shared with the women of New York City.”
I didn’t like anything I was saying, but it was the truth. I would fall in love with him. I could see that. Who wouldn’t? Well, maybe women who could keep their emotions in check but that woman was not me.
“Which brings us back to my original statement,” Isla said. “You only have one option.”
“Right. What is that?” Felicia asked.
I was almost scared to hear what she was going to say. “Lay it on me.”
“You have to continue with the four first dates. Two down, but you still have two to go. And now you have Maddox in on the action providing you with a fifth date. It’s the only way you can continue to have sex with him and yet hold him at some kind of a distance. Or rather, keep yourself at a distance.”
I had decidedly less enthusiasm for the project than I’d had a few weeks earlier but I knew she was right. “I agree. I have to see this through. It’s a numbers game. If I want to find my Prince Charming I have to just keep dating. I might even need a round two.”
“Think of it this way,” Isla said. “Hanging out and hooking up with Maddox makes you way less desperate on these dates. You’re coming from a power position. You have a great job, an adorable child, and you’re getting your sex needs met by a guy you trust. You don’t need anything from these guys, so if they suck, you just move on.”
She was right. “Sometimes you are very smart,” I told her.
“Sometimes? Try all the time.” She gave me a grin. “Now let’s see if Felicia’s guy has answered her/you.”
“He has,” Felicia said. “He was married for five years but his wife died ten years ago.” She made a sympathetic face. “That’s so tragic.”
“A widower. Wow. And he hasn’t been married since? He must have really loved her.” I felt myself softening to this guy.
“Oh, God, here we go,” Isla said. “How do you know he isn’t lying?”
“How do you know he isn’t telling the truth?” I countered.
She sighed. “I suppose suggesting that he’s probably still married and looking for side ass isn’t going to go over well with either of you?”
“No,” we both said simultaneously.
Isla sighed again, this time even more pronounced and dramatic. “You asked me to save you from yourself and I’m pretty sure it’s a lost cause.”
She was probably right. “I believe in love, you grump. You’re right. In that way, I am a lost cause.”
Nothing was going to change that. One day I would have my perfect rom-com love story.
If I could prevent myself from falling for my brother’s best friend in the meantime.
Walking back to the apartment after leaving Sully with Savannah, I called Steve. “Hey, what’s up?” I said as a greeting when he answered.
“Is this important?” he said, sounding tired and like his phone was right against his face. “Because I have a friend over.”
I knew what that meant. He was still in bed and had a girl with him. “Anyone I know?”
I paused at the corner, debating whether I wanted to return to the apartment or not. I decided to go change, then hit the gym. Or at the very least go running in the park. I had a ton of pent-up energy that I needed to get out. The conversation in the coffee shop had jacked me up and I couldn’t exactly talk to my best friend about why it was bothering me.
“Uh, I don’t think so. We met last night at the Tavern. Say hi, Kelsey.”
I heard a female voice pipe up in the background. “Hi, Kelsey.”
That actually made me laugh. “Nice.” The wind had kicked up and it felt good on my face. I spotted a garbage can and pitched my now-cold coffee remnants. “I just met a couple of Savannah’s friends. They seem cool.”
“Are they hot?”
That made me roll my eyes. “You’re a dick to even ask that when you have a friend next to you.”
“She went to the bathroom. And you didn’t answer my question.”
I thought about Isla, who seemed like a badass. Pretty, but prickly. Felicia was attractive, but she shrank into herself a little. Neither were my type and neither were Steve’s type. But that wasn’t even the point. “You can’t hit on your sister’s friends, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Picture me hitting on Savannah.” Yeah, I was testing the waters. I couldn’t help it. I felt agitated and pissed off at the idea of Savannah going out with other men.
“Fuck that, bro. I’d kill you.”
I had figured as much. “She feels the same way about you and her friends.”
I was in dicey territory but I needed advice, and Jana was too enthusiastic. Too into the whole fantasy of me and Savannah, not into anything practical. I needed someone who wasn’t all about the relationship fantasy to be realistic with me. “I met this chick,” I said. “I’m really into her and we hooked up last night.”
“Sounds good so far.”
“She’s talking to other guys, making plans with them. I don’t want that. What do I do now? I got greedy and had sex with her and now I think I did everything backwards, you know?” I hadn’t been able to resist her standing in the kitchen lamenting the lack of sex in her life. I’d gone for it and now I was sitting in fucking coffee shops helping her friends plan dates for her.
Not smart.
“Tell her you want to lock her in.”
“It’s too soon for that. She’ll tell me to go fuck myself.” She would think I was crazy, no question about it.
“Then date other girls. She’s dating other guys. Maybe she’ll see you with another chick and freak.”
“Isn’t that just game playing?”
“Of course it is. Those are your three choices—tell her, do what she’s doing, or walk away. That’s all you can do.”
“I don’t like any of those choices.”
“You’re talking to the wrong guy. Let me ask Kelsey.” He rustled around and I heard him yell, “Hey, Kels. My buddy needs advice on women.”
Oh, great. Now I was the loser who needed Jana, Steven, and some girl I’d never met to try to fix my love life. “Don’t put her on the phone. I’m serious.”
“Hey, this is Kelsey,” a breathy voice said, like she’d jumped or fallen onto the bed. “Who’s this?”
I rubbed my temples and looked up at the sky. It was tempting to give her a fake name. “This is Maddox.”
“Nice to meet you. Give me the rundown.”
I told her as briefly as possible what I’d told Steven.
“Was it pity sex?” she asked. “Did she feel sorry for you?”
“What?” For fuck’s sake. “No. Of course not.”
“Send me a selfie so I know for sure.”
“No,” I said flatly, insulted. “She did not have sex with me because she feels sorry for me. By the way, no one should ever do that with anyone. It’s weird.”
“That’s why I came home with Steven,” she said.
“Hey!” he said in the background.
The teasing tone of her voice clued me in that she was joking, so I did actually laugh. Kelsey had a decent sense of humor. “I can see that, but honestly, you should make him work harder for any future hookups.”
“I’m never seeing him again,” she said cheerfully.
Then she squealed in delight and there was lots of muffled sounds that made it clear he had grabbed her and they were no longer interested in talking to me in any way.
I ended the call.
I texted Jana.
Had sex with Savannah. I think I fucked up the almost kiss ten times but don’t step.
She answered right away.
HOLY SHIT.
What do I do now?
Hang on. I’m sending you a list of movies where they hook up before they declare their feelings for each other.
That made me roll my eyes. Yet at the same time it didn’t stop me from staring at my phone waiting for her answer.
Watch Friends with Benefits and The Proposal. NOW.
I looked up both and decided Friends with Benefits might be too close to reality.
After changing I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill, watching The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock on my phone with my earbuds in.
WWRRD.
Fuck.
Chapter 9
Maddox hadn’t been in the apartment when I got back and he didn’t show up until almost one on the dot. It was making me nervous. I had never had a relationship like this. I’d barely had hookups, never a friends-with-benefits situation, and definitely never with a roommate.
I was putting Sully down for his nap when I heard Maddox open the front door and come in. After turning on my tablet to soft nursery rhyme music I left the room and gently pulled the door shut.
He was taking off his running shoes and was wearing athletic shorts and a T-shirt.
“Hi,” I said, keeping my voice low. “Did you have a good workout?”
He nodded. “I love the way it clears my head.”
Something about his tone gave me pause. Was he going to say we shouldn’t have sex anymore? That would be both probably a wise thing and a terrible thing.
But Maddox didn’t say anything of the kind and I was being weird and panicky.
“I wish I felt that way about exercise,” I said, running my hand over my stomach without meaning to. “I’ve always felt like I was being tortured. I really should force myself to get back to it though.”
Yet another thing Maddox and I didn’t have in common. We really had different personalities.
“You’re a mom. You’re really busy,” he said, before stripping off his shirt and tossing it and his phone on the end table. “If you hate working out, it shouldn’t be a priority. Focus more on healthy eating and getting a good night’s sleep.”
I was distracted by his damp, now naked chest.
Then his shorts and boxer briefs came off without any warning.
An involuntary gasp came out of my mouth.
“I need to shower,” he said, moving in close to me.
He brushed my hair back and then fisted it a little in a move that both startled and aroused me.
“Take your clothes off,” he said. “I want you in the shower with me.”
“It’s a small shower,” I protested, for no apparent reason. “We won’t fit.” The minute the words came out of my mouth I regretted them. If this was all about sex, I should embrace it fully. In another six weeks he’d be gone and I would be kicking myself for missed opportunities.
“The water will cover up the sound of you screaming my name.”
The way he flipped the switch was amazing to me. One minute he was Mr. Nice Guy, nanny extraordinaire. The next he was alpha male, dirty talking and demanding. I liked both. Right now, I was really fond of Dirty Talker. It made me less nervous. There was no time to be weird when I was hot for him and willing to do whatever he wanted.
“I see,” I said. “Sounds like you have a plan.”
His hands were on my hips. Maddox kissed me, teasing at my lips with his tongue. Then he lowered his palms to my ass and ground me against him. Before I could even enjoy the impact of my body pressed against his cock, he pivoted me and gave my ass a playful, but not entirely gentle, slap.
“Get moving, Savannah. We’re on a schedule.”
I obeyed, because who the hell wouldn’t? I walked to the bathroom, peeling my shirt off as I went. As he closed the door and we crowded into the small space, I tried not to eye the shower stall skeptically. It wasn’t a bathtub-shower combination. It was a full shower stall insert, with a cruddy plastic floor pan. It was smaller than a tub would be. At best one and a half people could fit in it. Or Maddox and Sully.
Normally I bathed Sully in the bathroom sink because it was easier and brighter. The lighting in the shower sucked.
I turned to suggest maybe this was going to be a fail when Maddox reached past me and turned the shower on. Then he stripped me out of my joggers with one sharp downward motion. “Oh!” I said. He clearly had no intention of abandoning the project.
I never saw myself as a woman who fell for the muscles, but I had to admit, I didn’t hate touching Maddox. He was a whole different level of hard compared to previous men I’d been with and it was fascinating and sexy as hell. As he kissed me I greedily ran my fingers across his chest and abs. I went further and slide my hand over his cock. He gave a low growl.
Liking the sound of that, I squeezed at the base of his shaft.
“Savannah,” he said. “You are so fucking hot, do you know that?”
I didn’t answer, but just pulled my hand away, and watched him as I drew my tongue across my fingers to slick them up. His eyes darkened. I returned to his thick erection and worked my hand up and down, enjoying the way he stood still, tense, lacing his fingers through mine on my free hand.
“You still haven’t told me what any of your tattoos mean,” I said, scanning his body. An eagle here, a skull there, a complex roping of what looked like metal chains. He had art everywhere, and I was still amazed by the amount of time and patience and meaning that had clearly gone into it.
“I’m still here for awhile. We have plenty of time.”
I gripped him harder at that, for reasons I didn’t want to look too closely at.
Maddox sucked in a sharp breath, then gripped my wrist. He pulled me off of him, and pressed my hands back onto the vanity countertop.
Before I could process his plan, he was down on his knees, and still holding my hands hostage, he buried his tongue inside me.
“Mad, oh, God,” I said, realizing a fraction too late that my voice was loud and keening. Hopefully the shower had drowned it out because there was no way I could manage silent sex, not with him working me like he was.
He was deep inside me and I felt surrounded by his broad shoulders, his strong arms. I wanted to grab on to his dark hair and pull him away because it was so intense, but he had me pinned so I couldn’t move. It only took a few seconds before I was crying out with a hot, fast orgasm.
Then he released me while I stood there, legs shaking, panting hard, inner thighs quivering. They were freaking quivering and I was thinking that might have been my fastest zero to orgasm in recorded history.
But before I could speak or process or reach for him, he had a condom on and lifted me up and onto the sink. He lifted my legs onto his hips and he lifted me back off the sink and right onto his cock.
He was right. I screamed his name.
Somehow, he was holding up all my weight and still managing to lift me up and down onto him. It was a move I’d never experienced because how many men have the thigh and core strength for that? None I’d ever dated.
It was sexy as hell to have gravity dropping me fully on him so he was embedded deep inside me. I’d never felt so taken. All I could do was grip his shoulders tightly and just try not to drown in the pleasure.
“Does that feel good?” he asked, eyes locked with mine. “Tell me how that feels, Savannah.”
“It feels amazing.” I tossed my hair back, wanting him to react.
He did. He made that sound in the back of his throat that I loved.
“How does that feel to you, Maddox?”
I was probably playing with fire asking him that.
“How does that feel?” He was barely even breathing hard as he continued to move me on him. “Like victory. Like winning. Like hot, sexy slickness clamping down on me. Like nothing else matters except this. Right here. Right now.”
The more he spoke, words washing over me, the closer and closer I came to the edge. His voice was low, hypnotic, sensual.
“Like you have the tightest, sweetest pussy ever.”
Maddox turned and pushed me against the wall. Then he pounded into me, hard, mouth just hovering over mine, but not touching. In a hot cocoon of steam from the shower and his hard, damp body, I let go and embraced my orgasm, crying out desperately.
He did the same and then we were staring at each other, panting, still joined together. I would have brushed a stray hair out of my face but I couldn’t let go of him. My whole body felt like if I tried to move I would fall. I was shaken, shoulders and face burning.
Without speaking, Maddox set me down carefully and turned away, removing the condom. I wanted to touch him. I trailed my fingertips over the breadth of his back. My legs were still weak and I wrapped my arms around him, leaning against him for support.
But he stepped away from me. “Get in the shower,” he said.
He wasn’t looking at me, but his tone was both commanding and sensual. I shivered, rubbing my arms. I had no idea what he still had in store for me, but I was looking forward to it. I slipped my bra off and stepped in.
“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked when he didn’t join me. He was leaning on the countertop, head hung so that I couldn’t see his expression.
Maddox bent over and drank straight from the faucet. “Of course.” Then he stood up and gave me a smile. “I’m going to be inside you until Sullivan wakes up. Just so you know.”
I returned his smile. “I’m counting on it.”
“What’s up with you?” Jana asked, nudging me as she went past my station. “Did you do your homework?”
I was drawing a sketch for an upcoming appointment and trying not to think about Savannah. I was failing miserably at that. We’d just had sex three times in twenty-four hours. It wasn’t likely I was shaking that anytime soon.
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