Lilac

by Reid, B. B.

  “Feeling all right?”

  The voice was partially obscured by the howling wind, giving me no choice but to face them to solve the mystery. I thought I was the only one hanging around the buses. Everyone else had gone across the street to dine in the only two food options offered. Peeking over my shoulder, I expected to find either Rich or Loren waiting. Maybe even Xavier.

  Of course, it had to be Houston. He was best at getting me riled.

  Wearing his usual T-shirt and jeans combo, he held a black store bag from the gas station where we filled up the buses.

  “For me to answer that, I’d have to believe you cared.” Scoffing at the notion, I turned away from him. It hurt too much to look at Houston, knowing he cast me out. I wouldn’t dare swim in those gorgeous, green pools and dream.

  I listened to the plastic from his store bag rustle, followed by the pop of the tab on a can. “Of course, I care. If you bail, I’m short a guitarist. Again.”

  I spun on my heel, hoping I’d find remorse or a sign that he was joking. The strong wind whipped through his chocolate hair, but the rest of him remained unmoved. He looked like someone who’d come to conquer me.

  “Is the tour really all you care about? You don’t give a crap about me. Fine. What about Rich and Loren?”

  It was the subtle tells with Houston. The ones like his quick pause before taking a sip that told me I was getting a rise out of him. The last time that happened, he kissed me. “You question me like you have all the facts.”

  “I’ve been around a while,” I reminded him with a shrug. “I’ll be around a lot longer. If I don’t have them now, I will soon enough. You’re really not that hard to figure out.”

  “Funny,” he said, looking genuinely amused. “I was just thinking the same about you, little girl.”

  Careful not to hand him my anger on a platter, I let my feet carry me closer and stopped just out of arm’s reach. “Now who’s bringing a knife to a gunfight? Treating me like I’m inferior, pretending that I don’t mean anything… It stopped working when I realized it’s your only move.”

  “Is it?” he whispered before bringing the energy drink to his lips. He eyed me the entire time he drank his fill, and then he closed the last of the distance between us. I already knew his bite was worse than my bark.

  I didn’t fight him when he pressed me against the bus or rested his forearm on the black surface. The open door a foot away beckoned, and Houston had left the way to it clear. Running was exactly what he wanted me to do.

  I stayed put.

  The driver was gone, and so was everyone else. We had all the privacy we needed to hash this out. The only distraction was Houston’s soap permeating off his warm body. He smelled so good.

  “What do you mean to me?” he demanded out of nowhere.

  “What?” I could barely catch my breath, much less follow his train of thought. Not with him this close.

  “What. Do you. Mean. To me?

  “I-I don’t know.”

  “Then how can you be sure you mean anything at all?”

  “Because of the way you look at me,” I said without thinking. His head jerked back, and he blinked. I’d actually startled Houston Morrow. I lowered my gaze to his chest, expanding with every hard breath he took. “You look at me like I’m someone you never thought you’d see. You want me, but you can’t have me, and that pisses you off, so you punish me.”

  We stood there for maybe thirty seconds, just sharing the silence before he broke it. “Braxton?”

  “Yes, Houston?”

  “When I look at you, I see something in my way. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  Pretending that didn’t hurt was impossible, so I let him see my pain. “I’m not your enemy, Houston. I don’t want to hurt you.” When my fingers stretched to reach out to him, I curled them, keeping my hands to myself. “Any of you.”

  He stared into my eyes, and I watched the internal struggle whether to believe me in his. “Maybe not now,” he partially conceded, “but you will. It’s what we do to anyone who gets too close. We make them hate us, and then we hurt them before they can hurt us.”

  Pushing aside the ache in my chest, I let my anger rise.

  And then I harnessed it.

  “Is that what you did to each other? No wonder Rich and Loren hate you.”

  He paused, and then his eyes narrowed to slits as he tried to guess how much I knew. By the time his expression cleared, I already knew I’d gone too far.

  “I don’t cry over spilled milk, Fawn.” Lifting his forefinger, wet from the condensation, he traced the edge of my tank’s low neckline. On his third pass, the tip of his finger brushed my breasts. The cherries teasing my taste buds told me it wasn’t a mistake. “I’d rather clean up the mess.”

  Tipping his can, he poured his energy drink down my tank until it was empty, and the purple bra I wore underneath was visible.

  That. Is. It.

  When my fist collided with Houston’s lip, I didn’t care about the consequences. He didn’t look surprised, either. He smiled—busted lip and all—like I’d given him exactly what he wanted. I’d proved his point. Eventually, you want to hurt them because that’s what they do. They make you crave it.

  I went to hit him again.

  This time he caught my wrist and squeezed.

  “The first one was free. You’ll have to work for the rest.”

  I smiled up at him as he waited for me to beg. “That’s the beauty of everyone underestimating you,” I told him. “They tend to drop their guard.”

  Twisting just enough, I brought my sharp heel down on his foot.

  “Fuck!” he barked.

  He was wearing sneakers today. Lucky me.

  Houston’s grip loosened enough for me to get away. I made it a single step before he caught me and forced me back under him. I was a little dazed from my back hitting the bus—enough time for him to recover control of the situation.

  “Let me go.” I tried to wiggle free, but it only drained the energy from me.

  “Or what?” he taunted. “It’s not like you’ll get another shot at me.”

  Immediately, I stopped fighting and forced my body to relax. “That’s what you said last time.”

  I winked, and Houston responded by crashing his lips against mine. As I tasted the sugar and citrus on his tongue and the cherries on mine, I heard his drink can fall to the ground.

  Now both of his hands were free.

  They gripped the hem of my skirt before shoving it up until I could feel the wind curling around my inner thighs and failing to cool the heat between them. Eventually, I came to my senses and broke the kiss.

  “Houston—”

  “No,” he cut me off and pressed his forehead against mine. “Don’t you say another word.” We were so close that with each breath he exhaled, I inhaled. We stayed like that until desire overwhelmed indecision. And then he gripped my panties in his fist. “Goddamn you, Braxton.”

  One brute tug and they were gone.

  My skin smarted from where the fabric had torn, but I was quickly distracted by his fingers. Pushing them between my lower lips, Houston drew my arousal like it only answered to him, and then he pushed inside of me.

  “Oh, fuck, I—”

  “There’s a condom in my back pocket,” he informed me. “Get it.”

  His thumb found my clit, lighting up the nerves like it was the Fourth of July. He didn’t stop even when speech was no longer possible. Since I couldn’t find the words to argue, I snaked my hips, riding his hand.

  And now, we come to the part of my story where I alter not just my ending but three others as well.

  “The rubber,” he reminded me before pulling his fingers out of me and ripping open his belt. “You’re getting fucked with or without it, Braxton. It’s your choice.”

  I shivered at the idea of feeling him hard and raw inside of me, but there was just one problem.

  I didn’t trust him.

  Reaching behind him, I quickly
found the condom while he undid his jeans and released his hard dick. He was so long and thick that my breath caught in my throat. Angry veins traveled from the bulbous head down his shaft until reaching the fabric of his black boxers. I was too busy marveling over his cock to notice when he took the condom from me. Once his gorgeous dick was wrapped in latex, he crowded me against the bus.

  We’d gone too far to turn back now.

  Lifting my right leg into the crook of his arm, he brought the head of his cock to my entrance before meeting my gaze. “I want you to know this isn’t personal.” Kissing my lips, he whispered against them, “It’s just business.”

  I tossed away his words before I could even consider them. I was too enthralled by the feeling of him slowly pushing inside of me. He took his time, making sure I was aware of every generous inch. We savored it. Our first and last time together.

  Even with my arousal, I hadn’t been fucked in years. My soft moans turned into a cry of pain when he finally reached the hilt. He filled me so completely I couldn’t think of anything but him. And when he started to move…

  I didn’t feel cherished or loved.

  I was something else.

  Tainted.

  Wild.

  Free.

  Feeling a grateful sob in my throat, I held onto Houston as if I were hanging from a cliff.

  “Jesus, Brax,” he croaked in my ear. “Never had…this good.” He paused his hammering to push deeper inside, making me choke on my next breath. “Fuck.”

  Shoving my tank and bra up my chest until my tits were free, his eyes and lips feasted. When he moved his hungry lips to my neck, I tilted my head to make room for him. Houston bit, licked, and sucked until I was sure my skin was bruised.

  I didn’t care.

  There was nothing else I wanted more than to let him have his way.

  I could already feel that familiar itch creeping from the shadows. I already wanted more, and we weren’t even done.

  A smile spread my lips as Houston fucked me harder.

  Faster.

  My breasts bounced in time with his wild thrusts as his belt buckle slapped my stomach. I welcomed the pain as much as the pleasure. His grunts and groans came more often, his movements more desperate, as his orgasm rose. Never one to do anything half-cocked, Houston’s hand pushed between us, seeking out my clit.

  “Don’t think you’re not going to come for me, Fawn.”

  Holding my gaze, he fucked me hard against the side of the bus. We both accepted that at any moment, someone could turn the corner and see what we were up to. Loren and Rich had gone to get us food and would be back any minute.

  What would they do if we were caught? Would they demand a turn? Houston grunted when my pussy contracted excitedly around his dick.

  If they did, I’d give it to them.

  I’d let Houston, Loren, and Jericho fuck me as if it were their right.

  “Right fucking now, Braxton. Come on my dick.” Rotating his hips and hitting a spot I didn’t know I had, that was precisely what I did. I came all over his fat cock.

  Even with all the blood rushing inside me, filling my heart, ears, and pussy, I could hear the approaching footsteps and voices in the distance growing louder. Another minute or two, and we wouldn’t be alone.

  Hearing them, too, Houston began to pull away.

  “No,” I moaned, grabbing the back of his shirt and keeping him inside of me. “I don’t care if we get caught. Don’t stop.”

  He stared at me as he debated the consequences before giving in like I knew he would. Lifting my left leg over his arm, I was suspended in the air now. Houston then filled both of his hands with my ass and began pounding my pussy to a pulp. Mouth falling open from shock, I clutched his T-shirt tighter as I let him have his way with me.

  “Why can’t you just do what you’re told?” he demanded. I could feel his frustration as he continued to fuck me. He didn’t like that I’d made him so powerless.

  Knowing that Houston’s questions were never rhetorical, I tried to answer, but I couldn’t manage anything more than choked cries as I clung to him helplessly. Those desperate sounds mixed with the ones our sweaty skin slapping together made as they filled the air. And when I came a second time, it was a thousand times more intense because Houston joined me with a harsh grunt.

  I will never forget the hard yet vulnerable look on his face as he spilled inside the condom. It was so beautiful that for a careless second, I wished it was me he had filled.

  Staring into each other’s eyes, we shared our vulnerability until the moment ended abruptly when Houston dropped me on my feet. He hadn’t been gentle when he was inside of me. I didn’t know what I was expecting now that he was done.

  We only had moments before we were caught, and keeping what we’d just done a secret was probably the one thing we’d ever agree on. Now that Houston was no longer inside of me, rational thinking had returned.

  Houston shoved my skirt back into place before ripping off the condom and tossing it in a nearby bush. I was tempted to scold him for littering but realized how ridiculous that would be under the circumstances. I watched him fix his jeans and wondered how I could find a simple act so damn sexy. He then ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fix what I’d wronged. I couldn’t even recall gripping and running my fingers through his thick brown hair as he rode me, but the evidence was there.

  “Not a word of this to anyone,” he whispered sharply when the roadies along with Loren and Rich were close enough for us to hear their conversations clearly.

  I could even make out Loren proselytizing the use of night cream before fine lines and wrinkles had a chance to show. I’d never known a guy so meticulous about his appearance. It only made him more unique to me.

  “I’m not an idiot, Houston.”

  What we had done was wrong on so many levels. We played together, and he treated me like shit he’d stepped in and couldn’t get off his shoe.

  Our biggest offense was Loren.

  We both knew he wanted something more with me, and what did I do? I fucked his best friend.

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

  It was happening all over again.

  My threads were beginning to unravel, and this was just the start.

  Whore.

  Harlot.

  “Are we done here?” I snapped at Houston. I needed to hide and never show my face again.

  “No. One more thing.” As he held me arrested with his stern gaze, I knew I wasn’t going to like whatever he was about to say. “If you find yourself with an itch you can’t control, I’m the one who scratches it.” He paused to let the words sink in. “The only one, Braxton. We clear on that?”

  No. Not even a little bit.

  “The only thing you get to tell me is what songs we’re playing on Friday night. I’m not interested in anything else.” I turned to go when he gripped my nape. My back slammed against his chest a moment later.

  “Make this the last time I tell you,” he said as he pressed his mouth against my ear. “Stay away from Loren and don’t even think about Rich. That pussy’s mine now.”

  He shoved me away.

  I had a knack for sensing when something happened between Braxton and one of my best friends. I found them standing too close and a little disheveled even though they were both fully clothed. It was in the small details, such as the hickey on Braxton’s neck that hadn’t been there an hour ago and the corner of Houston’s shirt sticking through the open fly of his jeans.

  A blind man could tell that they’d screwed.

  Loren was a few paces behind me, trading fucking beauty tips with the makeup artist we hired for Braxton—who right now looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

  I made a quick decision.

  I decided I didn’t want to spend the rest of the tour breaking up the fights between Houston and Lo. Yanking Houston’s shirt from his fucking jeans, I let him see my disapproval before turning to Braxton. Her hair was pinned up, and
for once, I didn’t bother asking permission. I undid the messy bun at the top of her head and watched the red waves fall around her shoulder, hiding the hickey taking form.

  She stared at me with those wide eyes that I once thought so innocent, and since I wasn’t as cruel as Houston or Loren, I didn’t let her see my disgust before turning away.

  Braxton was every bit the tease Loren accused her of being, but I never took Houston for a hypocrite. Since the day she joined our band, he made it clear Braxton was a no-fucking-go, and then the moment our backs were turned, he fucked her.

  The real irony was that I knew him too well. In the space between betraying us, screwing Braxton, and getting caught, I’d bet my life that he’d already claimed her. He couldn’t keep us from doing what we wanted, so he switched tactics and decided to take Braxton for himself.

  The only silver lining was that Braxton wasn’t a doormat.

  Clearly, she was going to do whatever the hell she wanted, but Houston was arrogant enough to believe her submission was a sure thing.

  Whatever happens next, the two of them deserved each other.

  “Rich—”

  “Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. It became meaningless the moment you spread your legs for him.” I’d only admit to myself that my disappointment had little to do with Loren. He really liked her, but so had I.

  “Back off her.”

  I couldn’t hide my shock at Houston coming to her rescue. Shaking my head, I wondered how we got here. “You’re unbelievable,” I mumbled.

  “Can we please talk about this later?” Braxton begged.

  “Why?” I snapped at her. It was her turn to look surprised since I’d never been unkind to her. “Don’t want Loren finding out that you’re not worth his time?”

  I couldn’t change that I’d been dealt that blow.

  Braxton blinked at me until the tears she tried to hold back slipped from her big, brown eyes. I felt the apology on my lips and swallowed it back. I was sick of being sorry for the way people made me feel. Not this time. She made me believe she was someone I could hold on to. Why not let her suffer the consequences?