Darkness Within

by Erin Hunter

  As he fluffed out his pelt against the chill, his fur brushed hers. She tried not to flinch as her own pelt seemed to spark where they touched, and stared ahead, not daring to catch his eye.

  “It’s a relief to be away from the Clans for a while, isn’t it?” Rootspring mewed.

  She felt him looking at her and wrapped her tail tighter around her paws, unable to stop herself from thinking about how the Clan she’d left was now missing several warriors. “I guess . . .”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She could feel his gaze like the heat of the sun on her fur. Slowly, she turned to meet it.

  “Some of our Clanmates have left.” His eyes widened, but he said nothing. “With everything that’s been going on, not every warrior in Thunderclan thinks it’s the right place for them anymore. They’ve . . . ‘gone for a wander,’ whatever that means. . . .”

  She felt his tail rest gently on her back, felt the chill of the night be chased away like a trespasser on a Clan’s border. “Oh no . . .” He shifted so that his flank pressed right up against hers. “Do you think they’re going to come back?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I hope so, but . . . I don’t know. Even Graystripe left. Squirrelflight took that hardest of all.”

  Rootspring sat with her in silence for a moment, until he finally murmured, “That must be very worrying.”

  She nodded. “It is, but . . . I’m glad to be here with you.”

  His eyes shone with warmth, unchanged from the first time they’d met. “The moon seems bigger out here,” he mewed softly.

  “Yes.” Bristlefrost’s shoulders loosened. “Yes, it does.” Sitting beside Rootspring, fur touching, suddenly seemed as natural as sleeping. I was right, she thought happily. This is wonderful.

  Chapter 8

  Shadowsight stretched and climbed out of his nest. Morning sunshine streamed through the medicine-den entrance as he headed for the herb store. Mothwing and Puddleshine had already left. Were they gathering herbs? Or perhaps one of their Clanmates had needed their help. Frustration stabbed Shadowsight’s belly. They used to share things like that with him, but now that he’d lost his full medicine-cat status, they murmured to each other as though they were scared he’d overhear. He never knew now where his denmates had gone or which Clanmate was sick.

  At least they still let him treat one cat. Shadowsight headed for the herb store, wondering which herbs the prisoner would need today. Not poppy seed or marigold. Ashfur’s battle wounds had closed up well and weren’t inflamed anymore. He could take some goldenrod and dock, to speed up the healing. He crouched beside the store and reached his paw in.

  “What are you doing?” Mothwing’s sharp mew made him jerk around. She stood in the den entrance, frowning at him.

  “I was getting herbs for Ashfur.” Shadowsight’s pelt grew hot with embarrassment, as though he’d just been caught stealing from the fresh-kill pile.

  “I left you a bundle.” Mothwing nodded toward a leaf wrap at the edge of the den.

  “Is there any goldenrod in it?” Shadowsight asked. “Or dock?”

  “There’s everything you need.” Mothwing grabbed the bundle between her jaws and carried it across the den. She dropped it at his paws. “You’d better stay out of the herb store for now.”

  He blinked at her as though she’d raked his muzzle. Puddleshine had encouraged him to study the herb store so that he knew where everything was kept. “But I’m still a medicine-cat apprentice,” he reminded her.

  “You’re under supervision,” she mewed sourly. “Stay away from the herb store unless Puddleshine or I tell you otherwise.” She slid past him and peered into the store, as though checking for any damage he might have done.

  Angrily, Shadowsight grabbed the herb bundle and stalked out of the den.

  He passed Scorchfur and Snowbird sharing a mouse beside the long grass at the edge of the clearing. Blazefire and Berryheart were play-fighting nearby, while Gullswoop and Hollowspring dragged old nests from the warriors’ den. Shadowsight’s pelt twitched self-consciously. Were they staring at him? He kept his gaze on the hollow tree. The whole Clan must know by now that he’d lost his medicine-cat status. It made him feel as though he were walking around camp without his fur.

  Breezepelt and Sedgewhisker were guarding the bramble enclosure this morning. The two WindClan warriors looked small and sleek beside the ShadowClan cats.

  Breezepelt stretched deeply, as though sitting had made him stiff. “I’m looking forward to getting back to the moor and feeling the wind in my pelt again.”

  “And sunshine,” Sedgewhisker mewed wistfully. “This forest makes me feel like I’m living underground.” She glanced at the strips of blue showing between the tips of the pines. “I’m surprised ShadowClan cats don’t have moss growing between their claws.”

  Breezepelt purred with amusement, then stopped as he noticed Shadowsight padding toward him. He sat up stiffly. Sedgewhisker straightened and stared ahead.

  Shadowsight’s paws pricked. Had they stopped talking because a ShadowClan cat was approaching? Or is it because I’m coming? He felt a chill run through his pelt as he neared. He’d been so focused on the possibility that every cat in his Clan knew about his change in status, he hadn’t considered how far the news might already have spread into the other Clans. Does every cat know? He nodded a greeting as he passed. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Breezepelt’s reply was barely a mumble.

  Sedgewhisker grunted, avoiding Shadowsight’s eye.

  Shadowsight padded past them, shrinking beneath his pelt. He felt sure now. All the Clans know I’m a failed medicine cat, and they blame me for Ashfur coming to Thunderclan. As misery crowded his thoughts, Ashfur squeezed out of his den in the hollow tree.

  The dark warrior blinked at Shadowsight as though he, at least, was pleased to see him. “Hi, Shadowsight.” He waited for Shadowsight to drop his bundle, then sat down in a patch of sunshine near the enclosure wall. “What have you got for me today?”

  I don’t know yet. Shadowsight unrolled the leaf, irritated once more as he saw a few damp nettle leaves inside. These drooping leaves wouldn’t be much help. He would go through the motions anyway and make an ointment for Ashfur’s worst scratches. Bitterly, he began to chew the leaves.

  Ashfur settled onto his belly and waited, accustomed now to the daily routine. “I need some exercise,” he meowed absently.

  Shadowsight spat nettle pulp onto the unrolled leaf and dabbed some onto his paw. “It’s best for you to rest until your wounds are completely healed.”

  “I need to stay fit,” Ashfur complained.

  “Why?” Shadowsight parted the fur on Ashfur’s flank with a paw and began to spread the pulp onto the long scab that ran along it.

  “The Clans can’t keep me trapped here forever,” Ashfur mewed.

  Just until they work out a way to help Bramblestar get his body back, Shadowsight thought. He still found it strange to treat a warrior who looked like one cat but talked like another.

  Ashfur spoke again. “Have you heard any news from Thunderclan?”

  Shadowsight stiffened. Why does he want to know? “No,” he answered. The leaders and medicine cats had met on the island three days ago, but he hadn’t been allowed to attend. He swallowed back anger.

  “What about Squirrelflight?” Ashfur’s eyes narrowed with interest.

  “No cat’s mentioned her.” Shadowsight felt wary. What was the dark warrior planning?

  “Do you think she’ll visit me again?”

  Did he want a chance to get revenge on the Thunderclan leader for tricking him? Shadowsight dabbed his paw into the pulp once more and began to smear a bitemark at the back of Ashfur’s neck. “I’m surprised you want to see her again,” he mewed casually.

  “She couldn’t help what happened last time.” Ashfur shook his head. “The other leaders must have forced her into betraying me like that.” He shifted so that Shadowsight could reach a scar on his hind leg. “They
were listening to every word she said. If she hadn’t betrayed me, they’d have made her a prisoner too.” His eyes sparked, as though he enjoyed the thought of having Squirrelflight as his denmate in the hollow tree.

  Shadowsight sat back on his haunches. Did Ashfur really believe she hadn’t wanted to betray him? “I don’t think Squirrelflight will visit you again.”

  “If she could, we could talk things out.” Ashfur’s gaze drifted thoughtfully. “We might be able to come to an agreement.”

  Shadowsight’s eyes widened. Was Ashfur crazy? “Like what?”

  “If she agreed to leave with me, I wouldn’t bother the Clans anymore.” His gaze suddenly fixed on Shadowsight. Alarm sparked in Shadowsight’s belly as he saw determination in it. “Then no cat would have to suffer.” There was menace in the dark warrior’s tone.

  Shadowsight turned away and dabbed more pulp onto his paw. He padded around Ashfur and spread it along the scar on his tail. “What if Squirrelflight doesn’t want to leave with you?” he asked tentatively.

  “She must.” A growl rumbled in Ashfur’s throat. “She’s a warrior. She’ll do anything for her Clan.”

  Shadowsight felt sick. Ashfur would clearly be willing to take Squirrelflight with him against her will. Did he hope that threatening the Clans would make her agree to go? Would she sacrifice herself like that? Shadowsight’s heart lurched. She might. He rubbed the last of the pulp over Ashfur’s shredded ear tips. Squirrelflight must never find out. The Clans mustn’t let her destroy her life to save them. There had to be another way. He rerolled the empty leaf. “I’m done,” he told Ashfur.

  Ashfur got to his paws and glanced at the wounds Shadowsight had treated. “You’re still a good medicine cat,” he mewed. “But what’s the point of being good at healing if you’re not allowed to heal anymore?”

  “I’m healing you.” Shadowsight met his gaze, refusing to be provoked.

  “And when I’m gone?” Ashfur pursued. “What will you do then? Are you going to spend the rest of your life cleaning other cats’ bedding?”

  “Of course not.” Doubt wormed in Shadowsight’s belly. Tigerstar and Puddleshine would let him go back to real medicine-cat work eventually, wouldn’t they? “As soon as StarClan returns—”

  Ashfur’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “StarClan isn’t coming back.”

  “They will.” They have to.

  “Do you really think your Clanmates will believe any message you pass on from StarClan ever again?” Ashfur’s gaze burned into Shadowsight’s.

  Shadowsight swallowed back panic. Will they?

  Ashfur leaned closer. “And it’s not like you can become a warrior,” he murmured. “You’re not trained. You have no skills.”

  “I could learn!” Shadowsight puffed out his chest.

  “I suppose you could be a mediator.” Ashfur sneered. “Or whatever it is Tree calls himself so that he can stay in the Clans without becoming a real warrior.”

  Shadowsight stared at the impostor. “Why do you enjoy making other cats miserable?”

  “We’re more alike than you think,” Ashfur murmured.

  “No, we’re not!” Shadowsight lashed his tail.

  Ashfur tipped his head, clearly unimpressed by Shadowsight’s anger. “I’m a warrior who’s not a warrior, and you’re a medicine cat who’s not a medicine cat.”

  “You mean you were a warrior. You’ve been dead a long time!” Shadowsight grabbed the empty leaf and marched out of the enclosure.

  “I don’t feel dead, thanks to this body!” Ashfur called after him.

  Shadowsight ignored him and padded past Breezepelt and Sedgewhisker, who were still standing guard outside. Breezepelt blinked at him in surprise. The WindClan warrior was staring at him as though he had two tails.

  Shadowsight spat out the leaf. “What?” he demanded angrily.

  Breezepelt looked curious. “Are you really allowed to treat him alone?” He nodded toward Ashfur, who had padded to the back of the enclosure and lain down in the shade.

  “Of course I am!”

  Breezepelt glanced at his Clanmate uncertainly.

  Shadowsight spun around and glared at Sedgewhisker. “Do you have a problem with that?”

  “We just thought you weren’t a medicine cat anymore,” Sedgewhisker mewed.

  So the rest of the Clans did know that Tigerstar had stripped him of his status. Fury pulsed in Shadowsight’s paws. “I’m still a medicine-cat apprentice!” Was he going to have to tell every cat he met now?

  Sedgewhisker frowned. “But you killed Bramblestar.”

  Breezepelt nodded. “What cat is going to let you treat them after you’ve killed a leader?”

  Shadowsight’s mouth went dry. He felt light-headed as his anger turned to shame. Dropping his gaze, he hurried away, leaving the empty leaf lying between the two WindClan warriors. Is that what every cat thinks? That I killed Bramblestar? Shadowsight pulled up short before he reached the medicine den. Why bother? He didn’t belong there anymore. He didn’t belong anywhere.

  If the real Bramblestar comes back, then they’ll know I didn’t kill him. And yet Shadowsight knew Bramblestar’s ghost was missing. Even though he’d released him from the vines that had held him fast in the Dark Forest, Bramblestar hadn’t returned to the living forest. What if he was gone forever? Then I’ll know I did kill him.

  Lost in his thoughts, Shadowsight blindly watched Lightleap, his littermate, drag an old nest from the warriors’ den. She dropped it beside the pile Hollowspring and Gullswoop had made and began to rip them apart. How could any cat forgive me? I have no future here. I’d be better off as a loner.

  Despair swirled like fog around him, choking him until he could hardly breathe.

  “Shadowsight?” Lightleap’s mew sounded somewhere outside his haze of misery. “Are you okay?”

  He watched her pad toward him, feeling as though he were very far away, even as she reached him and lapped between his ears. “You look lost,” she mewed, leaning closer.

  He blinked at her, the fog receding as he clung to her gaze.

  “Do you need something to do?” she asked gently.

  He nodded numbly.

  She stepped back and shook bracken dust from her fur. “Blazefire and I were planning to hunt with Hollowspring and Gullswoop. Do you want to come with us?”

  Shadowsight gazed at the pile of half-dismantled nests. “Don’t you have to finish cleaning out the den?”

  Lightleap sniffed. “We’re not apprentices,” she mewed. When Shadowsight winced, she hurriedly added, “I just mean we can finish that later.” She glanced over her shoulder to where Gullswoop was dragging fresh ferns into camp. “Can Shadowsight hunt with us?” she called.

  Gullswoop dropped the ferns, her eyes bright. “He’s welcome to try.”

  “Try what?” Hollowspring padded into camp behind her, carrying more ferns.

  “Shadowsight’s coming hunting with us,” Gullswoop told him.

  Was that irritation glittering in the black warrior’s eyes?

  Blazefire popped his head out of the den. His whiskers were flecked with scraps of bracken. “Are we hunting now?”

  “Yes!” Lightleap purred eagerly. “We’ve done enough cleaning for today.”

  Shadowsight felt a glimmer of happiness, and his misery began to melt. Gratitude surged in his chest. “Thanks, Lightleap.”

  “We might be able to teach you a thing or two,” she mewed, leading the way out of camp.

  Shadowsight followed. “You can teach me a lot. I don’t know anything about hunting.”

  Gullswoop fell in beside him. “The first thing you have to learn is how to sit still.”

  As they headed into the forest, Blazefire and Hollowspring fanned out. Shadowsight could see them tasting the air. Were they searching for prey already? He copied them, opening his mouth to let the air bathe his tongue. He could smell the mint that grew close to camp and a patch of comfrey that sprouted between the bracken in this part of t
he forest. Another scent touched his tongue. Was that sage? He hadn’t realized it grew this close to camp.

  “Rabbit!” Hollowspring’s yowl made him jump. Shadowsight’s heart seemed to skip a beat as the black warrior hared away, crashing through a wall of ferns. Blazefire hurtled after him, veering away to one side.

  “Won’t they have scared it with all that noise?” Shadowsight whispered to Lightleap.

  “It had already spotted us.” His littermate’s gaze was following a gray blur far ahead between the trees. A rabbit was pelting toward a thick swath of brambles. Her pelt bristled with excitement, and she didn’t take her eyes from it as she explained, “It was running away. Watch what Blazefire does.” She nodded toward the white-and-ginger tom. It was hard to believe Blazefire had been born in a Twolegplace. He was streaking over the forest floor like a swooping hawk. Taking the cleanest line between the trees, he rounded a ridge while Hollowspring leaped over it, the rabbit a few tail-lengths ahead of him.

  “Why doesn’t Hollowspring grab it?” Shadowsight asked. Surely, if the black warrior leaped now, he could catch the rabbit.

  “Wait.” Lightleap was as still as stone as she watched her denmates.

  Blazefire had changed tack now and, picking up speed, swung around to block the rabbit’s path. If it reached the brambles, Shadowsight guessed, they’d lose it in the tangle of branches and thorns. As soon as Blazefire reached his Clanmate’s line of sight, Hollowspring leaped. The rabbit swerved, changing direction, but Blazefire had closed in. Deftly, he blocked the rabbit’s path and lunged at it before it could reach the safety of the thorns.

  Hollowspring skidded to a halt, his tail whisking with delight as Blazefire made the killing bite and lifted the rabbit by its scruff.