Darkness Within

by Erin Hunter

  “I went hunting,” Shadowsight told him.

  Ashfur’s gaze flitted around him, as though looking for something. “You haven’t brought any herbs. Aren’t you going to treat me anymore?”

  “You don’t need herbs,” Shadowsight told him. “Your wounds are nearly healed.”

  “Is that why you went hunting?” Ashfur narrowed his eyes. “Because there’s no one left for you to help?”

  “I went hunting to help my Clan,” Shadowsight told him hotly.

  “I’m sure they were very grateful.” Ashfur’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “But what do you know about being a warrior? Do you know to watch your paws to avoid making a sound? Can you taste which way the wind’s blowing?”

  “I’m learning!”

  “A warrior needs to be aware of things you’ve probably never even thought about before.”

  Shadowsight lifted his chin. “Puddleshine taught me to be alert when I’m out gathering herbs.”

  Ashfur looked unimpressed. “I hope he didn’t teach you to be too jumpy,” he mewed. “There’s so much that can startle a cat in the forest. Foxes, owls. Even butterflies and bees.” His gaze sharpened. “The last thing a hunting patrol needs is a warrior who yowls every time he hears a noise.”

  Shadowsight stiffened. Did the dark warrior know a bee had scared him? Was your spirit spying on me? He pressed back a shudder, feeling like beetles were crawling through his fur. He met Ashfur’s stare boldly. Whatever the impostor knew, Shadowsight wasn’t going to confirm it. “I need to check your scars.”

  He circled Ashfur, touching his muzzle to the warrior’s scabs, smelling to make sure they were clear of infection and feeling for heat. As he sat back on his haunches, Ashfur met his gaze.

  “You could have been a talented healer,” the dark warrior mewed. “My wounds improved so quickly. It’s a shame the Clans will never trust you again.”

  Rage surged in Shadowsight’s chest. “Whose fault is that?”

  “I just wanted to live.” As Ashfur looked away, Rootspring thought he saw a flash of guilt in the dark warrior’s eyes. “I didn’t think about what it would mean for you.” His voice was husky. “I’m sorry you can’t be a medicine cat now.” Was this remorse? Ashfur met his gaze, his mew hardening once more. “But you’ll always have a place in ShadowClan as long as you have Tigerstar to protect you.”

  Shadowsight stared at him. So that’s what he thought. That his Clanmates only tolerated him because his father was a leader. Shadowsight got to his paws. “I’ll tell Puddleshine that you’re healing well.” He turned his tail on the dark warrior and headed out of the enclosure.

  “Come back soon,” Ashfur called. “You’re the only cat I can talk to.”

  Shadowsight didn’t look back. He avoided the gazes of Whitewing and Cherryfall as he padded past them, hoping they hadn’t overheard Ashfur’s words. Unease wormed beneath his pelt. Was it true? Was he only welcome in ShadowClan now because Tigerstar was protecting him? He paused and glanced around the clearing. What would happen if that was no longer enough?

  Shadowsight pulled himself over the lip of the Moonpool hollow, relieved to be here at last. This was the first time he’d traveled to the Moonpool since Ashfur had attacked him, and his paws had twitched with every step. The dark warrior had nearly killed him. The memory of it had made Shadowsight catch his breath each time a shadow shifted on the moor or prey made the bushes rustle. But he was glad Puddleshine and Mothwing had allowed him to come. Now that he’d lost his full medicine-cat status, he’d been afraid they’d leave him behind. Tigerstar had said he was still an apprentice medicine cat, but Shadowsight wasn’t sure. Puddleshine wouldn’t let him treat any cat but Ashfur, and he hadn’t been trying to teach him anything. But Tigerstar’s gaze had been firm when he’d asked Puddleshine to take care of him on the journey, and it had been clear to every cat that he wanted Shadowsight to go.

  Puddleshine and Mothwing had told Shadowsight to stay close as they’d traveled through the forest, but they hadn’t included him in their conversation, keeping their voices low as they’d led the way. Hurt and ashamed, he’d guessed they’d been discussing cats they’d treated or cures they wanted to try.

  He followed them now around the spiral of dimpled rock, worn smooth by countless moons of paw steps, and stopped beside the Moonpool. The other medicine cats were already here. Around them, the encircling cliffs sparkled in a wash of starlight. Would they treat him as a full medicine cat, or would he have to hang back and hold his tongue like an apprentice? I’ll say what I like, he thought rebelliously, wishing he had the courage.

  Jayfeather gave an irritable shake of his head. “You’re late,” he told Puddleshine.

  “The moon is still high.” Puddleshine dipped his head politely as Mothwing glanced at Willowshine. Shadowsight narrowed his eyes. It must be strange for the former RiverClan cat to attend this meeting as part of ShadowClan.

  Willowshine held Mothwing’s gaze sadly for a moment, then nodded curtly and padded to the edge of the water. “Let’s begin.” She touched her nose to the pool, and the other medicine cats followed.

  Shadowsight was relieved they weren’t going to talk first; there was too much he didn’t want to talk about, and he guessed every medicine cat was eager to see if they could reach StarClan this time. He settled beside Puddleshine and stretched his muzzle forward, accustomed now to the prickle of disappointment when, as the chill of the water stung his nose, no vision flashed in his mind and no voice rang in his head. StarClan was gone.

  They waited a long time, but nothing changed. Shadowsight lifted his head, watching the others as they sat up one by one. Had they really thought that StarClan would have returned, even though nothing in the forest had changed? Ashfur still possessed the Thunderclan leader’s body. Bramblestar’s ghost was still lost.

  Jayfeather shook the water from his nose. “We need to get used to the idea that StarClan is gone for good.”

  Willowshine’s pelt bristled. “That can’t be true! They wouldn’t abandon us.”

  “Perhaps we’ve abandoned them,” Kestrelflight growled.

  “What do you mean?” Willowshine blinked at him. “We’ve been trying to contact them for moons.”

  Kestrelflight met her gaze. “We might have strayed so far from the warrior code that we’ve broken the connection.”

  Mothwing grunted. “What’s the difference whether they’re with us or not?” she asked. “Does it really change how we live?”

  “Of course it does!” Fidgetflake stared at her. “What’s the point of being warriors if we’re not guided by our ancestors?”

  Mothwing blinked at him calmly. “We’re still cats living together and taking care of one another,” she answered. “Isn’t that enough?”

  The other cats exchanged glances.

  Is it enough? Shadowsight frowned. After all, taking care of his Clanmates was all he wanted to do, if only Puddleshine and Mothwing would let him. Did he need StarClan to be able to clear the infection from a Clanmate’s wound?

  Alderheart looked at the star-specked sky. “StarClan has always guided the Clans. Without them, we would find our own path, but where could it lead if not closer to our ancestors?”

  Frecklewish swished her tail over the cold stone. “It’s pointless trying to guess what will happen next,” she mewed. “We need to find a way forward.” As Kestrelflight and Alderheart murmured in agreement, she went on. “I’ve been thinking about Ashfur. If he’s the one who’s severed our connection with StarClan—”

  “It must be him,” Willowshine cut in. “It’s too much of a coincidence that they disappeared when he appeared.”

  Frecklewish nodded. “He might be the only one who can show us how to restore it.”

  Jayfeather snorted. “Do you actually think he would?”

  No cat spoke, but Shadowsight guessed the answer. Why would Ashfur want to help the Clans?

  Puddleshine’s eyes had narrowed thoughtfully. “Do you think Star
Clan has moved too far away for us to reach, or is something blocking our connection?” He turned to look at Shadowsight. “Didn’t you say that you’d seen something?”

  Shadowsight’s mouth went dry. Puddleshine was talking about his Dark Forest vision.

  “You saw a barrier between StarClan and the living Clans . . . ?” Puddleshine pressed.

  Shadowsight felt the gazes of the other medicine cats burning into him. He stared ahead, trying to keep his voice steady. “I saw something,” he mewed, wondering if they’d believe him. He’d shared so many visions that turned out to be false. “When I slept after eating those deathberries, I followed Bramblestar’s voice and dived into the Moonpool.” He hesitated as Jayfeather’s blind blue gaze narrowed. I’m only telling you what I saw. You don’t have to believe it. He forced himself to go on. “It took me to the Dark Forest. There was a wall there, like a camp wall, dividing it from StarClan.”

  Jayfeather snorted. “Of course there’s a barrier between the Dark Forest and StarClan!”

  “But it was blocking the Moonpool, too, and the path between StarClan and us,” Shadowsight insisted.

  Willowshine padded closer, curiosity in her eyes. “How did you find your way through it?”

  “I didn’t.” Shadowsight blinked at her apologetically. “I only managed to untangle Bramblestar from the thorns.”

  Mothwing lifted her chin. “It sounds like nonsense to me,” she mewed.

  “Everything sounds like nonsense to you,” Jayfeather snapped.

  Mothwing’s fur ruffled crossly, but she didn’t reply.

  “He probably imagined the whole thing,” Kestrelflight suggested. He looked at Shadowsight. “How can you be sure it was a vision? You’ve been wrong before.”

  “You’ll have to decide that for yourself.” Shadowsight lifted his muzzle. He wasn’t going to try to convince these cats if they didn’t want to believe him. All he could do was tell them what he knew. “I saw Ashfur, too, in another vision. I saw his spirit leave Bramblestar’s body.”

  Kestrelflight looked unimpressed. “We already know Ashfur stole Bramblestar’s body.”

  “But you didn’t know that he can leave it if he wants,” Shadowsight told him.

  “We still don’t,” Jayfeather grunted.

  “I saw him do it!” Frustration flared in Shadowsight’s belly.

  Jayfeather’s ears flattened. “You’ve seen a lot of things.”

  Alderheart shifted beside his Clanmate. “Perhaps we shouldn’t be asking Shadowsight about these matters,” he murmured softly.

  Shadowsight’s heart sank. They’re sorry they ever listened to me. He suddenly wished the rock would open up and swallow him. He’d rather be in the Dark Forest than here.

  Jayfeather shook out his pelt. “Without StarClan to guide us, we’re just guessing. Let’s focus on the things we can control, like the health of our Clanmates.” He turned to face the other cats. “Thunderclan has been well this past moon. Lilyheart had whitecough, but she recovered quickly, and it didn’t spread to her denmates.”

  “Emberfoot’s had whitecough too,” Kestrelflight chimed.

  “And Stonewing,” Puddleshine added. “But it was mild.”

  Stonewing? Shadowsight fluffed out his pelt against the night breeze. He hadn’t known a Clanmate had been sick. He glanced at Puddleshine. They’d always been so close. There had been a time when he couldn’t imagine his mentor would keep something like that from him. Ashfur’s words echoed in his mind. Would ShadowClan ever trust him to treat his Clanmates again?

  Puddleshine went on. “Shadowsight has been taking care of Ashfur’s wounds,” he mewed.

  “What a waste of herbs,” Willowshine muttered under her breath.

  “It’s still Bramblestar’s body,” Jayfeather reminded her.

  Alderheart’s eyes seemed to spark with rage. “Ashfur should never have been allowed to steal it!”

  Is he blaming me? Shadowsight looked away guiltily.

  Frecklewish whisked her tail. “We can’t change the past.”

  Fidgetflake nodded. “Let’s focus on the present.” He looked around at the others. “SkyClan is thriving,” he reported. “Nectarsong’s given birth to two lovely kits, Beekit and Beetlekit. Mother and kits are in good health. It was her first litter, but an easy kitting.”

  “It’s nice to hear some good news,” Willowshine mewed. “RiverClan has been healthy too, although we’ve had a few upset bellies. I’ve been busy collecting watermint all moon.” Her gaze flitted toward Mothwing. “An extra set of paws would have been helpful.” When Mothwing didn’t comment, Willowshine leaned forward. “Every cat misses you, Mothwing, and wants you back in the Clan.”

  Hope flickered in Shadowsight’s chest. If Mothwing left ShadowClan, Puddleshine might relent and allow him to be a medicine cat again.

  Mothwing stared stiffly at her former Clanmate. “I will not return while Icewing and Harelight aren’t welcome.”

  “What if Mistystar never changes her mind?” Willowshine’s eyes glistened sadly. “Will you stay in ShadowClan forever?”

  Shadowsight watched Mothwing closely. Could a cat switch Clans so easily?

  But Mothwing didn’t flinch. “ShadowClan has been kinder to me than RiverClan,” she mewed coldly. “I am loyal to Tigerstar.”

  Shadowsight’s heart sank. Mothwing was clearly going to dig her claws in over this. She might never leave ShadowClan.

  Kestrelflight shifted his paws. “WindClan has been well, but I agree with Willowshine: It’s hard to run a medicine den with only one set of paws.”

  Jayfeather sniffed. “ShadowClan has plenty of medicine cats,” he muttered. “I’m sure they’d be happy to lend you Shadowsight.”

  “No, thanks.” Kestrelflight’s tail twitched uneasily.

  Shadowsight shrank beneath his pelt. I’m the medicine cat no Clan wants.

  “I’ve been thinking about taking on an apprentice,” Kestrelflight went on.

  Shadowsight blinked at the WindClan medicine cat in surprise. How could he take on an apprentice without StarClan’s approval?

  “Whistlepaw seems interested in herbs,” Kestrelflight mewed. “He’s been helping me take care of Emberfoot. He appears to have the right kind of instincts.”

  “But how can you?” Shadowsight blurted. “Shouldn’t StarClan guide you in your choice?”

  “I can at least begin his training,” Kestrelflight told him. “There’s a lot to learn.” He met Shadowsight’s gaze. “You must know that better than any cat.”

  Shadowsight looked at his paws, his pelt ruffling uncomfortably. He shouldn’t have spoken.

  Jayfeather tipped his head. “Shadowsight has a point,” he mewed. “Is this the right time to be choosing an apprentice?”

  Willowshine nodded. “It might be better to wait until StarClan can share with us again.”

  “Nonsense.” Mothwing flicked her tail irritably. “A cat can learn to make a poultice whether StarClan is watching or not.”

  Puddleshine shifted his paws. “Rowanstar didn’t wait for StarClan’s approval before he made me ShadowClan’s medicine cat.”

  “That was different,” Willowshine argued. “He had no choice. ShadowClan didn’t have any medicine cat at all.”

  “Surely the lives of our Clanmates are too important to wait for StarClan?” Mothwing argued.

  “But herbs in the wrong paws can be more dangerous than no herbs at all.” Alderheart frowned. “I think Flipclaw proved that.”

  “I’m not going to let Whistlepaw teach himself,” Kestrelflight snapped. “I’ll be mentoring him. Besides”—he looked stiffly around at the other cats—“it’s my choice, not yours.”

  “But you’re the one who’s worried we’ve driven StarClan away,” Willowshine insisted. “If they find you’ve taken an apprentice they don’t approve of . . .”

  As the medicine cats bickered on, Shadowsight’s attention drifted toward the Moonpool, where the light of the half-moon sparkled on the surf
ace. Without StarClan, were the Clans going to spend all their time arguing over what was allowed and what wasn’t? His heart fluttered nervously in his chest. How would they ever really know what was right and what was wrong?

  Chapter 12

  These are my kin. In the clearing beside the river, Rootspring gazed at the Sisters. He could see clearly now why he and Tree seemed different from their Clanmates, larger than other warriors, broad where their denmates were lithe. The Sisters were huge, and not just because of their thick pelts. There was power in their wide shoulders and paws.

  The white she-cat, to whom the others deferred, called herself Snow. Sunrise had introduced the others: a ginger she-cat called Furze; a tabby called Tempest; the ginger-and-white littermates, Flurry and Sparrow; Sunshine, the plump cream she-cat; the large ginger she-cat, Hawk; and two younger gray cats, Moon and Squirrel. He had learned that Sunrise was Tree’s littermate, and he tried to remember the other Sisters who’d recovered in the SkyClan camp after the battle. Memories of them seemed to echo in his mind, but hazily. And there were others with them now. He’d felt outnumbered as he’d led the patrol into the clearing where the Sisters had made their camp.

  The alders encircling it swished as Snow blinked at him. She was clearly pondering the news he’d shared. Would she believe that a dead warrior had stolen a leader’s body and that the leader was a spirit now, wandering lost with other dead warriors somewhere Rootspring could no longer reach them?

  He glanced nervously at Bristlefrost. She blinked back, encouraging, and he was grateful again that she was here. She had stayed close to Spotfur since Sunrise had led them into the Sisters’ camp, protective of her Clanmate. Spotfur’s wounds still glistened in the sunshine, and Rootspring noticed Flurry and Hawk glancing at the gray-and-white warrior, concern shadowing their gazes. But no cat offered help.

  Needleclaw had hung back, letting Rootspring speak for the patrol. She padded forward now, stopping beside him. “We’ve come a long way to find you, but the Clans are in trouble—”

  Snow silenced her with a flick of her tail. “The Clans’ troubles are their own affair.”