Subordination: Chronicles of a Domme

by Katie Ashley

  “That’s none of your business, thank you very much.”

  “Dad worries all the time about you not dating. That’s why he practically pissed himself with excitement yesterday when he heard about your mystery texter.”

  “Is that right?”

  Ansel nodded. “He’s worried that you’re sacrificing having a boyfriend to take care of him.”

  I had feared that my dad harbored those thoughts. But actually knowing he’d vocalized them to Ansel felt the same as the blade of a knife piercing my heart. I fought for a moment to catch my breath. “I don’t want him worrying about me,” I said.

  “He’s our dad, Soph. Just because he’s disabled doesn’t mean he’s going to stop being a parent.”

  “I know that. It’s just he has enough on his plate without concerning himself with my love life.”

  Ansel shrugged. “Maybe it’s not so much that he’s worrying, but that he wants you married off so he can have a grandkid.”

  Kids. Wow, that wasn’t something I considered anytime soon. Sure, I wanted a family, but I also wanted a few years of teaching under my belt along with some travel before I thought of getting pregnant. A pang of regret entered my chest at the thought of my father not being here to see his grandchildren. “Well, he doesn’t need to be thinking about grandkids from me right now.”

  “He ain’t getting one from me either. I wrap my shit up.”

  Shaking my head, I laughed at Ansel. “That’s both completely disgusting and good to know. Make sure you keep it that way.” After I shooed him down off the desk, I said, “Come on. Let’s get busy.”

  The rest of the day felt like I was tripping out in a weird dream-like state. At lunch, I laughed and talked with the other English teachers, but was almost as if I was playing the part of Sophie Jameson, not really being me. I felt as if I was standing outside of myself and watching some stranger interact with people. I was that shaken.

  Finding out William was my new boss had been like a seismic shift on a fault line—a quake of epic proportions. It was the first time something so life altering had happened, and I hadn’t been prepared for it. Facing my dad’s deteriorating health along with the illnesses that had taken my beloved grandparents—I’d had a moment to catch my breath and put on my emotional armor. With William, it had been like being shoved off the edge of the cliff to free-fall into a great crevasse.

  William had gotten to me as a sub and as a man. I hadn’t let myself go with him just in the dungeon—I had gone even further with him emotionally. I’d allowed him to see parts of my life that no man had ever known. And now any hope of a future with him had been shot to hell the moment he walked into my classroom and introduced himself as my principal.

  When we returned from lunch, it was time to file into the auditorium for our first staff meeting. As I walked in with Jane, I felt like I was trudging through quicksand. I wanted nothing more than to run out of there. I needed time to process everything before I had to face him again.

  After taking a seat, I tried keeping my gaze on the paper outlining the meeting agenda. But curiosity finally got the best of me, and I peeked up at the stage. William stood flanked on both his sides by the two other assistant principals. Although we were a small county with only two high schools, it was still a surprise to see the superintendent, Dr. Levinson, walk to the podium.

  “Good afternoon. I wanted to take a moment to welcome you all back and to wish you a productive and positive school year.” He shifted on his feet. “The main reason why I am here is to ensure that there a smooth change in command here at Milton. It is very disheartening and regretful what happened with Dr. Newsome. However, the school board and I have sought out the very best replacement we could for him. I’m sure it is surprising to some of you that we hired someone from outside of the district. This isn’t a slight on any of the fine assistant principals we have here. We simply wanted to start fresh. That’s why we were proud to recruit Dr. William Foster to the district.”

  Brief applause broke out as William joined the superintendent at the podium. “Dr. Foster is a magna cum laude graduate of The University of Tennessee. He earned his master’s and doctorate in educational administration from The University of Georgia. He taught history and coached football for eight years at Lassiter High School in Cobb County before moving on to be an assistant principal. He did his doctoral studies in helping improve test scores and graduation rates at lower socioeconomic schools, which is the reason why we had to have him here.”

  “Quite an impressive background,” Jane mused beside me.

  “It is.”

  “Not to mention he’s easy on the eyes.”

  “I suppose so.”

  Jane snickered. “Don’t try to hide it, honey. I can tell you’d screw him into next Tuesday if you were given the chance.”

  My head whirled around to stare at her. She winked at me before jerking her chin back at the stage. I looked up in time to see William taking his place in front of the podium. He was all confidence and self-assurance. Just like I took on my persona of Mistress Juliette, it was obvious he had a carefully constructed work façade.

  “Good afternoon. It’s an honor and a pleasure to be standing before you. I know most of you are anxious about having a new principal after Dr. Newsome’s long tenure here. I want to put you at ease and to assure you we’re all in this together. Although I’ve had experience as an assistant principal, this is my first time in the led role. I’m going to need help from each and every one of you from the veteran teachers to the first-year teachers.” William surprised the hell out of me by looking in my direction.

  “You all have something to give and contribute to me to make me a better leader. My door is always open for whatever you need. I hope this will be one of the best years Milton has seen.”

  When he finished speaking, applause broke out in the auditorium. William batted his hand. “Now that the speech is over, let’s get down to business—the wonderfully exciting PowerPoint of school and district procedures that you all look forward to seeing again every year.” At the teasing groans, William only smiled.

  As the lights dimmed, I tried not to think about another time I’d been with William in a darkly lit room. At my groan of frustration, Jane asked, “Are you all right?”

  “My foot is asleep,” I lied with a smile.

  “Oh.”

  I turned my attention back to the PowerPoint. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus on anything that was on it. Instead, all I could think about was Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken and all that two roads diverged in a woods bullshit. Because I’d chosen to spend a little extra time at 1740, my whole world had been turned on its axis. Everything was fucked up, and I only had myself, my libido, and if I was truly honest with myself, my heart to blame.

  The instant the clock above my whiteboard read four I bolted from my classroom and out the back door. I knew I was supposed to sign out before I left, but I didn’t want to risk a chance of seeing William again. I would just feign new teacher ignorance if they called me on it.

  I sprinted to my car. I probably left blackened tire marks when I squealed out of my parking space. I didn’t feel like myself again until I walked through the garage door into the kitchen at home. After dropping my purse on the floor, I went straight to the fridge and took out a beer.

  At the sound of a voice behind me, I jumped, sending beer sloshing onto the floor. “Dammit!”

  “Rough first day?” Susie asked with a smile.

  “You have no idea.” I took another long gulp before I sat the can down to clean up my mess.

  “I hear the new principal is a real looker.”

  Her statement caused me to fumble with the paper towels before knocking the roll off the counter. “Fuck,” I muttered.

  “You really are having a hard time today,” Susie mused.

  I bent over to mop up the beer. “It really wasn’t that bad. There’s just this jackass in my department who is trying to intimidate me be
cause I’m new,” I lied.

  “That’s a shame. You just keep your head up and hold your ground.”

  “I will.”

  Susie leaned back against the counter. “So what about the new principal?”

  Jesus, she would have to keep on with that one. “He seems nice.”

  “I heard he looks like that Superman guy.”

  “Henry Cavill.”

  She snapped her fingers. “That’s the one.”

  “Maybe a little.” Well, it obviously wasn’t just me who saw that. He was that gorgeous

  “Shoot. If there had been some good-looking guy like that when I was in school, I would have been in the principal’s office every day.” She winked. “They could paddle back then.”

  I choked on my beer. “Susie, you kinky thing,” I teased.

  “I do like a good spanking.”

  For a moment, I tried envisioning Susie down at 1740, but it was too traumatizing. “Thanks for that tidbit.”

  Ansel came into the kitchen. “What are you guys talking about?”

  Holding up my hands, I replied, “Trust me. You don’t want to know.”

  Susie giggled. “I was asking about the new principal.”

  A grin spread across Ansel’s face. “You mean Dr. Hottie? That’s what the cheerleaders are calling him. That’s all they can talk about while they’re practice on the track close to our practice field.”

  I rolled my eyes as I thought of some of the underage slutbags wanting a piece of William. “Oh please,” I muttered.

  Ansel threw an arm over my shoulder. “I think they’re all going to be heartbroken when he and Soph start dating.”

  “You are so full of shit.”

  Susie glanced from Ansel to me. “What’s he talking about?”

  “Ignore him. He’s being delusional.”

  Ansel snorted. “I know what I saw.”

  “And what was that?” Susie inquired.

  “An interlude.”

  Sweeping my hands to my hips, I demanded, “Since when do you use the word ‘interlude’?”

  “Since I started using that lame ass SAT word of the day program you gave me.”

  “I would say I’m proud of you, but not when you’re using your word knowledge against me.”

  Susie laughed. “What’s wrong with having an interlude with an attractive man?”

  I growled with frustration. “What is wrong with everyone? He’s my boss. Having an interlude or relationship or whatever isn’t professional. After enduring six years in college, I’d kinda like to keep my job.”

  “I seriously doubt they’d fire you over dating the boss.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t want to find out what they would do.”

  “Well, I better head out,” Susie said. Her gaze flickered between Ansel and me. “You two try not to kill each other while I’m gone, okay?”

  “I’ll try hard,” I replied, with a smile. “By the way, what’s for dinner later?”

  “I had fixed some chicken and rice, but Ansel insisted it was pizza night and called the delivery place.”

  I glared at Ansel. “Delivery? They’ll charge us twice as much to come all the way out here.”

  He held up his hand. “Easy, cheap-shit. I have it taken care of.”

  “Do you now?”

  “Mindy Davis is their delivery girl, and since she has the hots for me, I’m taking her out after the game Friday night.”

  “So you’re pimping yourself out for pizza?” I asked with a grin.

  “Yes and no. I drew the line at going down on her for cinnamon bread.”

  I snorted. “I’m glad you managed to keep some of your integrity.”

  He pinched his forefinger and thumb together. “Just a little.”

  “You’re a mess.” I ruffled Ansel’s hair, which earned me a playful smack from him.

  “See you both tomorrow,” Susie said, as she headed out the garage door.

  “Bye,” Ansel and I called after her.

  “Let me know when the pizza gets here. I’m going to go see Daddy.”

  “He was asleep in the den when I got home,” Ansel replied.

  I nodded and headed out of the kitchen. I knew Daddy would want to hear all about my day. Of course, just like Susie, he would be getting the edited version. Before I reached the den, the doorbell rang. “Pizza’s here, Ansel,” I called.

  I opened the front door and gasped. William stood before me. “What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded.

  “We need to talk.”

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I asked, “Did you follow me home?”

  “You’re my employee. I have access to all your information.”

  “That’s not stalkerish at all,” I snapped.

  “It was necessary.”

  I shook my head. “Look, now isn’t a good time.”

  “Make time.”

  “I thought I was the one who was supposed to be giving the orders?”

  “Sophie, I’m serious.”

  “Is that Mindy, Soph?” Ansel asked from the hallway.

  Closing my eyes, I silently willed the floor to open up and devour me. This day just kept getting worse and worse. This was like pouring kerosene on Ansel’s fire about there being something between William and me.

  Ansel joined me in the doorway. At the sight of William, he snickered. “Dr. F, good to see you again.”

  “Same to you, Ansel.”

  Nudging my shoulder, Ansel said, “Are you already in trouble, sis?”

  “No, smart-ass, I’m not.”

  “Then what’s your boss doing here?”

  I opened my mouth but drew a blank on what I could possibly say.

  “Actually, I’m here to see your horses,” William said.

  “You are?” Ansel and I said at the same time.

  William nodded. “After hearing about the farm, your sister offered to show me around. You see, I’m a city guy, and I’ve never been on a real farm before.”

  “Trust me, you haven’t missed anything,” Ansel replied.

  William laughed. “I’ll have to see everything first to be the judge of that.”

  “Yeah, well, you two have fun,” Ansel said, a teasing lilt in his voice.

  After he disappeared down the hall, William and I stood awkwardly in the doorway. “So are you going to show me the barn?”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I thought that was just your cover for Ansel.”

  “I told you when we were back in Atlanta that I wanted to see your farm.”

  Damn, that three-hour-long breakfast at Café Lumiere. “Oh. That’s right.”

  He backed up as I stepped out onto the porch. After we walked down the stairs, I started leading him down the hill to the barn. We walked in silence; the sound of our shoes crunching on the gravel filled the air. I don’t know why we weren’t talking. It wasn’t like we didn’t have a hell of a lot to talk about. I didn’t know if William was waiting for me to take the lead.

  When he did speak, it wasn’t what I was expecting. “You have a truly beautiful place here.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Back in Atlanta, it was hard to imagine you living somewhere like this. But now that I’m here, I see how much you’re a part of it.”

  I turned to stare at him. “Are you done with the bullshit small talk?”

  A smile played at the corner of his lips. “You’re always so direct.”

  “I’m serious, William. Or should I say ‘Dr. Foster’?”

  “William is fine.”

  “You came here because you said we needed to talk. So talk.”

  He exhaled a ragged breath. “Now that I’m here, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Wonderful.”

  We arrived at the barn then. Grabbing the handle, I slid open the door. There were ten horse paddocks, five on each side. At the back was the area where my dad had once had his office, which now the overseer used. “This is th
e barn,” I said sarcastically.

  William chose to ignore my remark. Instead, he walked inside and started looking around. “Where are the horses?”

  “They’re down in the pasture with the cattle. We don’t put them up until nightfall.”

  “Who does all the work here now that your father can’t?”

  “We have an overseer who comes out for a few hours a day. He feeds the cattle and takes care of what needs to be done on the machinery. Most of what is done for the horses is Ansel’s and my job.”

  A blinding light from the back of the barn caught William’s eye. He walked past the empty horse paddocks to investigate. With the afternoon sun streaming in through the loft windows, the wall was illuminated with shimmering gold from the hanging buckles.

  “What are all those from?”

  “Those are the buckles my dad won in roping championships.”

  “He was really good,” William remarked.

  “Yeah, he was. He started competing when he was just a kid. He keeps the nicest ones in a shadow box in his bedroom.”

  Nodding, William continued looking at the wall. His gaze dropped from the buckles to the family pictures above my father’s desk.

  William pointed to a picture of a young woman barrel racing. “Is that you?”

  “No. It’s my mom.”

  Leaning closer to the picture, William shook his head. “Wow, you look just like her.”

  It wasn’t the first time I’d heard someone say that sentiment. Considering how beautiful my mother was, it was compliment. “Thank you. She was a champion barrel racer. That’s how she and my dad met. They were both in the rodeo circuit.”

  William turned around to face me. “You were three when she died, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  When he appeared to be doing math in his head, I laughed. “Ansel and I are half brother and sister. My dad remarried four years after my mom passed away.”

  At what must have been my apparent disgust, William asked, “Hmm, a true wicked step-mother?”

  “Pretty much. She was this rodeo groupie who saw my dad and this farm as a meal ticket. Even though he was still grieving my mom, he was a man with needs, and here was a twenty-year-old throwing herself at him.”