Raisin’s sudden appearance only served to make things worse ... even though I wasn’t certain that was possible.
I didn’t know what to do. No one had ever been stupid enough to trust me with an impressionable mind. There was only one solution I could see ... and that was Rooster.
He was furious when he showed up, the ire in his eyes causing me to cringe. He had Raisin’s grandmother with him. Irene Morton looked better than the last time I saw her. She had energy, a spring in her step, and a dour expression on her face.
This was obviously going to suck.
“Hey.” I felt drained, exhausted, but I had responsibilities. “I wasn’t sure what else I should do.”
“Well, bringing her to a naked moonlight ritual probably wasn’t it,” Rooster groused.
I balked. “I didn’t bring her here.”
“That’s true,” Mama Moon offered, grinning as she watched Raisin skip in time with the earth witches around the bonfire. Some were dressed, others naked. Raisin didn’t seem to notice. She was enjoying the show far too much to complain. “The girl came out of the woods. We didn’t know she was here.”
“Oh, really?” Rooster didn’t look impressed with the excuse. “Given everything that’s going on — especially what’s going on with Scout — how could you do this without protecting your borders? That doesn’t make a heckuva lot of sense.”
Rooster held the same position Mama Moon once claimed, so she clearly wasn’t in the mood to bow down to him. “Listen here, Rooster ... .”
He held up his hand to cut her off. “I’m not here to tell you your business. You know that’s not how I am. But Raisin shouldn’t be out here. We have murderous shifters on the loose and a man was tortured to death. Raisin should be at home, where she’s safe.”
Irene’s eyes were shy when they locked with mine. “I don’t want to jump all over you,” she started.
“It’s fine,” Rooster soothed. “Scout’s strong. She can take it.”
I didn’t feel strong given what happened in the dream. I managed to stay on my feet, though, which was nothing short of a triumph of will.
“Ruthie is an impressionable young girl,” Irene explained. “She looks up to you, wants to be you. I know I was out of it the night Steven ... well, the night he tried to end us all. You saved me and kept Ruthie safe, too. I haven’t forgotten.”
There was a “but” somewhere in there left unsaid. I was just waiting for her to drop it.
“But ... Ruthie is still a kid, and I want her to have good role models,” she continued. “This isn’t the sort of place I think she should be hanging out. I’m sorry if that seems rude, but … I want my granddaughter to be safe.”
I felt sick to my stomach, for more reasons than one.
“It’s not rude,” Rooster countered. “Scout should know better than to bring Raisin to a place like this. I think we’re going to have a long talk about her association with Raisin, set some ground rules.”
I hated rules more than most, but my reaction to the words was over-the-top. I turned away from Rooster, my stomach heaving and lost what little food I had in me all over the ground. Everything inside of me hurt and I was perilously close to having to sit down. I hated approaching a situation from a position of inferiority, so that was the last thing I wanted to do.
“What the ... ?” Rooster’s eyes flashed with fury. “Have you been drinking? Did you seriously bring Raisin out here and get drunk when you should’ve been watching her?”
“She hasn’t been drinking,” Mama Moon countered, levering herself from the ground with a terrific groan and then moving to me. Her hand was cool on my blazing forehead, but that didn’t mean I wanted her touching me.
“Can that be it for the lecture for right now?” I rasped. “I really need to go home.”
“I don’t think we’re done yet.” Rooster tilted his head to the side as he regarded me. “Are you sure you haven’t been drinking?”
“I’m not drunk!” I wanted to shake him to get him out of my face. “As for Raisin, I didn’t know she was following me. I should’ve realized that was what she intended to do. She told me about Mama Moon, said she might be able to help me, and she was excited at the prospect.
“If you want to yell at me for being an idiot, yell at me for not realizing that she intended to follow me the entire time,” I continued. “I didn’t bring her here. I’m not an idiot. I ... oh, geez. I need to sit down.”
I didn’t spare a glance for Rooster, instead giving in to the sinking sensation bringing me to my knees. I hit the ground hard, and then rolled to my back to keep the world from spinning.
For the first time since he’d arrived Rooster seemed to realize something big was going down. Concern replaced the hostility. “What is going on?” His eyes were accusatory when they turned to Mama Moon. “What did you do to her?”
Mama Moon was having none of it. She immediately started shaking her head. “Don’t even. I didn’t cause this. The girl showed up looking for help. She wanted information on Fred Burns, a way to contact him. She was very upset.”
Rooster’s expression was hard to read. “Why was she upset?”
“Because Chief Stratton ran that blood test and found out that she was related to Fred,” Raisin announced, appearing at the edge of our small circle and seemingly abandoning the dancing witches. “She’s never met anyone she’s related to before and now she finds out she’s related to a dead guy who had her name burned into his body. It’s very upsetting.”
I was dumbfounded. “How do you know all that?”
“I heard Gunner talking on the phone earlier.” Raisin was calm. “He was yelling at his father. I also heard Scout and Gunner talking, and she said she didn’t want to talk about being related to Fred, that she needed time to think. I kind of figured out the rest.”
Rooster reached out a hand and rested it on top of Raisin’s head. “Did you follow Scout here without her knowledge?”
Raisin nodded, her eyes bright. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to see one of Mama Moon’s lunar dances and I figured this was my best chance. You’re not angry, are you?”
She had the adults in her life dancing on a string. Raisin recognized exactly how to manipulate them. She was good at it.
Rooster sighed. “You know you shouldn’t be out here. I yelled at Scout because she brought you with her. It turns out I yelled at her for nothing.”
“I told you I didn’t bring the kid out here from the start,” I growled, throwing an arm over my face. “Now, will you people leave me alone? Take your conversation to the other side of the clearing. I want to die in peace here.”
Mama Moon chuckled. “You’re not going to die. You’re just ... overheated. That occasionally happens when traveling to the spirit realm. Although, your re-entry into this world was nothing short of fantastic. Where did you get the magic that propelled you that way? That’s why you feel sick. You moved too fast.”
I didn’t answer. Instead, I screwed my eyes shut and attempted to tune out the voices surrounding me.
“I don’t understand.” Rooster crouched down and rested a hand on my forehead, turning alarmed in the blink of an eye. “She’s burning up. We need to get her to the hospital.”
“There’s nothing the hospital can do for her,” Mama Moon countered. “She has a magic hangover ... although I still can’t figure out why she fired off that much magic to get back when all she had to do was allow herself to float.”
“The magic wasn’t mine,” I barked, irritation bubbling up. Didn’t they see I needed quiet? Couldn’t they understand that I was trying to absorb everything that happened?
“I don’t understand.” Mama Moon remained calm. “Did Fred use magic to blast you back?”
“No. It wasn’t Fred.” The nausea I’d been suffering from before returned with a vengeance. “Fred was there. He was angry I called to him. He wouldn’t answer my questions. He claimed he didn’t know we were related ... but that’s not true. He’s a poor lia
r.”
“I still don’t understand all of this,” Rooster admitted. “How could Fred be a relative?”
“That’s what I was trying to find out.” I rubbed my forehead. “I asked him if he knew who I was. He kept referring to me in Spells Angels terms, but it was clear he knew who I was beyond that. I don’t understand how that works. He’s been here for years, long before I was transferred. Do you think he knew I would end up here?”
Rooster shrugged. “I don’t know, kid.” He snagged the bottle of water Mama Moon had at her side without asking. “You need to drink this. Calm yourself.”
I sipped from the water without complaint. I was parched.
“You said you were blown back by someone else’s magic,” he said, his mind clearly working overtime. “If not Fred, who?”
“The woman from my dreams.”
“What?”
“The woman from my dreams,” I repeated. “I think Gunner is right. They’re memories, not dreams. She ripped a hole in the spirit realm and crawled through it to retrieve Fred. She shoved him through the opening and then yelled at me for forcing issues I wasn’t ready to deal with. Then she blasted me with her magic ... and that’s how I ended up here.”
“That is so cool.” Raisin practically glowed with excitement as Irene admonished her. “Do you think she’s your mother?”
I tilted my head, focusing on the girl’s smooth face so I could anchor myself. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. My memory is ... hazy. That’s why I thought they were dreams. They didn’t feel real. It was as if they didn’t belong to me.”
Rooster frowned. “I need more information. I’m not following.”
“And she clearly doesn’t have the energy to break things down for you,” Mama Moon argued. “The girl needs rest. She expended a lot of energy, so much so that she’s probably going to have a hangover tomorrow through no fault of her own.
That sounded absolutely lovely ... or not. “I need to go home.”
“You need to rest a few minutes and collect yourself,” Rooster countered. “You’re in no condition to drive. In fact ... .” He broke off and dug for his phone.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, sobering enough to sense trouble was coming. “Don’t call Gunner. I mean it. Gunner doesn’t need to be dragged into this. A little sleep and I’ll be fine.”
“I think you need more than sleep,” Rooster countered. “He’s the only one I know who can figure out what you need. I’m trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help.” I was feeling petulant as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I just want to go home. That’s all I want.”
GUNNER DIDN’T SHOW UP AT the clearing, for which I was profoundly grateful. I heard Rooster talking to him on the phone for a long time. Somehow, I managed to find my footing and flee during the conversation. I was so wobbly I had to pull over twice to be sick on my way back to the cabin.
By the time I reached my driveway, I was a shaking mess. Gunner waited on the porch, his arms folded over his chest. He looked frustrated. I couldn’t blame him.
“Don’t yell at me,” I rasped, pressing my hand to my stomach. “I don’t feel well and I can’t deal with anything extra tonight. I just ... I’m sick.”
Worry clouded his features. “I heard.” He descended the stairs, being careful to make no sudden movements. When he was within two feet of me, he stooped to give me a once-over. He shook his head and made a tsking sound. “Why didn’t you call me when you decided to go out there? I would’ve gone with you.”
“And what do you think you could’ve done to change things?”
“I don’t know.” His expression was bland, but I could feel the turmoil roiling beneath the surface. “You’re not alone, no matter what you think. At the very least I could’ve been there when you went under.”
I eyed him a moment, conflicted. “How much do you know?”
“I know what Rooster told me. He seemed a little confused. I filled in a few holes myself. As far as I can tell, you dropped to the spirit world to question Fred. I should’ve thought of that myself, but … hindsight, you know. Somehow you were blasted out by someone else in the spirit world and you’re sick from the magic. Do I have the gist of it?”
I nodded, morose. “I feel horrible.”
“You look horrible.”
I narrowed my eyes. “That’s an odd way to kick me when I’m down.”
Despite the serious situation, a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “How should I handle the situation?”
“I don’t know.” Frustration bubbled up. “You could coddle me or something. I feel empty and I need to sleep. I don’t want to be yelled at.”
He cocked a dubious eyebrow. “You want to be coddled? Why do I think that’s a load of hogwash? You never want to be coddled. You hate it.”
“Yeah, but ... .”
He waited, refusing to pressure me. The fact that he was giving me what he thought I needed above all else was enough to cause me to break.
I burst into tears. I wasn’t sure where they came from. I wasn’t much of a crier. I learned early on that crying in front of the other foster kids — many of whom were looking for ways to take advantage of the system — was a surefire way to get beat up. Strength was the only thing respected by the other kids, so I always made sure to swallow my tears. As I aged, that tendency never went away.
It wasn’t that I was soulless. I simply want to protect myself. Now, though, I didn’t have the strength. I broke down and started swaying as the tears overwhelmed me.
“Oh, hell.” Gunner stepped forward and grabbed me before I fell, pressing me to him as he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest, letting his strength anchor me.
“It was the woman from my dreams. She was there. She tore Fred away from me and blasted me out of the spirit realm.”
His hand stroked the back of my head as he held me. “Do you think she’s dead?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is it possible she came from the world of the living to stop you?”
“I don’t know.” The questions only made me sob harder. “I just don’t understand. I ... how is this happening? How was I related to Fred? Why did they toss me away like garbage?”
“Oh, baby, no.” Gunner’s arms were around me when my strength fled and he hoisted me into his arms. “You can’t think that way, Scout. Not for one second do I believe these people abandoned you because they didn’t want you.”
“Why else would they do it?”
“They were trying to protect you. Those dreams you mentioned ... you were always on the run. I think you’re the reason they were running. They did their best to protect you, but when that failed, they went a different route.”
I closed my eyes, too tired to give the idea much thought. “I don’t think I can handle this. It’s too much.”
“You can handle it.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead as he navigated the front door. “You need sleep. You’re overwhelmed. This is too much for one person to take in a short amount of time ... especially on an empty stomach.”
Oh, geez. He would bring that up. “Food isn’t always the answer.”
“Neither is wallowing.” He closed the front door and headed toward the bedroom. “You need sleep. We can’t talk rationally until you’re rested.”
“I don’t know that sleep will make a difference. I’ll probably be just as messed up tomorrow.”
“Yes, but in the morning you can brush your teeth and let me kiss you. That’s better than what we’re dealing with now.”
Only he would think that. “What if I never find answers?”
“You will. You’re too determined not to. I’ll be with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“Okay.” I was out of energy. I couldn’t offer up a single word of argument, which was very unlike me. “I’m just going to close my eyes for a little bit.”
“That’s good. Rest is the best thing for you now.”
I re
ally hoped that was true because right now it felt like nothing would ever be the same.
Sixteen
I slept hard, but I didn’t wake full of energy. Instead, I felt like a lump of regret. My eyes were swollen and I had to swipe at the crusties gathered in the corners before I could even open them. I wasn’t alone. I could feel Gunner resting beside me. I did my best to avoid looking at him, though. I felt like an idiot.
“Hey.” He must’ve sensed me moving because he shifted so he could face me. “How are you?” His fingers were gentle as they pushed my hair out of my face.
I refused to make eye contact. “I’m fine. I’m sorry you felt the need to stay. I ... .” What? Exactly what was I supposed to say? There was nothing I could say that wasn’t utter nonsense. I’d fallen apart the previous evening and I was ashamed at the way I crumbled in the face of adversity.
“You’re not fine ... and that’s okay.”
“I really am fine. I feel better.” I put on a brave face while staring at the wall. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Scout.”
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “I think the magical blast knocked me for a loop. That’s the best explanation I can come up with.” And it was something that got me off the hook for crying like a baby.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
Internally, I cringed. “I like looking at you fine.” As if to prove it, I flicked my eyes to him. Despite the long night, he looked criminally attractive, which didn’t seem fair given how vulnerable I was feeling.
“Scout.” His voice was soft, cajoling. “Don’t shut me out. I know that you’re upset. I get that you can’t wrap your head around this. You need to let me help you.”
The suggestion rankled. “I’m fine.”
His eyes flashed with something I couldn’t quite identify. It looked to be a mixture of aggravation and pity. Finally, he shook his head. “You’re not. Stop saying that. We’re going to talk about this whether you like it or not.”
That sounded like cruel and unusual punishment. “Maybe I don’t want to talk about it. Have you ever considered that?”
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