A Lady's Addiction (Honor Prevails Book 1)

by Angelina Jameson

“I will admit I was nervous. The hydrogen gas used is very flammable. Today looks to have perfect conditions for a balloon ride.”

  She leaned in and reached out a hand to touch the sleeve of Devlyn’s coat. “You won’t go up in it?”

  “You don’t want me to?” His eyes locked on hers.

  “I think it would be dangerous,” she whispered.

  He put a gloved hand over the hand she’d placed on his sleeve. “You are concerned for my safety?”

  “Think about your mother. You have only just returned home.” She looked away, afraid of what he might see in her face, glad for the large brim of her Mary Scot bonnet. “What if you were hurt?”

  “I won’t go up today as you don’t wish me to. I am your escort after all.”

  “What about in the future?” She returned her gaze to his.

  “No promises. Unless you could share a more compelling argument for why I should safeguard my welfare?”

  She pulled her hand away, shook her head and mumbled, “No, of course not.”

  Much to her relief, the carriage came to a halt, interrupting their intimate conversation. She hadn’t realized they had driven down Constitution Hill and were now in the park. What she’d read in Devlyn’s eyes confused her. It hinted at feelings and emotions she’d long ago given up dreaming about. She was no longer a naïve child. In polite society marriages based on love, like the one Lady Northampton enjoyed, were the exception.

  Anna smiled awkwardly when Devlyn helped her from the carriage. She stood silently as he spoke to his driver.

  Her maid would remain with the barouche. She must break the habit of bringing Mary with her on all outings. Like alcohol, the maid had become a crutch to help her deal with daily life.

  Devlyn carried the picnic basket and the blanket on one arm and she took his other arm. Once she stopped thinking about his body moving so close to hers and looked around her, she noticed the balloon.

  “Oh! My goodness, it’s beautiful.”

  The envelope of the balloon was fashioned of a dark blue material and there were shiny gold tassels attached to it. The basket looked rather nondescript next to the magnificence of the main body of the contraption.

  The balloon dominated the flat grassland of the small open field it sat in. A few men could be seen clustered around the basket.

  “It is hard to believe you’ve never seen a balloon up close in any of the parks,” Devlyn said.

  “I have been something of a recluse this last year.”

  Devlyn didn’t reply to her remark and led her to the base of the balloon where a tall gentleman with an odd cap on his head stood.

  “Well, Bailey, she’s a beauty,” her companion said to the other man.

  The man looked up from his work sorting numerous ropes. His glance lingered on Anna before he responded with a smile. “That she is, my friend.”

  Devlyn released her arm and placed the picnic basket on the ground.

  “Bailey, it is a pleasure to introduce you to Lady Stafford, the Countess of Tottenham. Lady Stafford, Lord Bailey.”

  Lord Bailey bowed. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Stafford.”

  She smiled and inclined her head. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance. I have never been this close to a balloon before.”

  “Would you like to ascend in it? We will be ready to go up in just a few minutes. I could ask one of my crew to stay behind.”

  She shook her head. “Thank you, Lord Bailey, but I fear I am not brave enough.”

  “Being seen in the company of Devlyn Maitlin is very brave, my lady,” the man replied with a wink.

  “Now, Bailey, what would you have the lady think of me?”

  The other man grinned. “I was merely jesting, Lady Stafford. I would trust my own sister to Devlyn’s care.”

  “You don’t have a sister,” Devlyn rejoined.

  Bailey laughed. “No, I don’t.”

  “Mr. Maitlin told me the hydrogen you use could catch fire. Have you ever had an accident?”

  “This is only my second ascension. My uncle went up many times with James Sadler and they never experienced any problems. My uncle is going up with me today.”

  An older gentleman glanced at them from his place inside the basket and acknowledged the visitors with a nod.

  “I won’t be able to accompany you today,” Devlyn said to his friend. “Lady Stafford and I will watch your ascension over a picnic luncheon. Excuse my lack of invitation, but you appear to be otherwise occupied.”

  “That I am,” Bailey replied, his voice mournful. “A picnic with a lovely lady certainly matches the excitement of a balloon ride.”

  “My thought exactly.” Devlyn picked up the hamper.

  “I wish you a safe ascension, Lord Bailey.” She accepted Devlyn’s proffered arm.

  “Thank you, Lady Stafford.” The gentleman bowed before he turned his attention to the other men working on the balloon.

  Devlyn guided her down a slight hill toward a stand of trees and halted in a shady spot under a large oak.

  “No birds in sight.”

  She laughed. “This is perfect.”

  Her eyes met his and something intangible passed between them. She felt happy, the happiest she could remember in a long time.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Devlyn made a big production of spreading the thin blanket out on the lush grass and gallantly inviting Anna to have a seat. Just for the afternoon he didn’t want to think about Franco, Lady Pickerel or Millicent.

  As much as he’d enjoyed his time on the Continent, he was happy to be home. The last three years had taught him a lot about himself, and he was ready to start a new chapter in his life. When he thought about the future, he couldn’t imagine not having a wife to share his life with. Could he find a woman who would love him enough to accept a marriage without children? Anna wasn’t that woman and he would do well to remember that.

  “Devlyn?” the object of his reverie asked. “I would like to taste some of those delicacies you hinted at.”

  He shook himself. He took a seat on the blanket across from Anna and lifted the lid of the hamper to peer in.

  “It all looks delicious.”

  “Well?”

  “You are extremely impatient when you desire something.”

  “I wasn’t born with a lot of patience,” she rejoined, her voice pitched low.

  “You will restrain yourself in public, I presume?” He removed a wrapped parcel from the hamper and placed it on the blanket.

  “Conceited, are we?” A flush crept up Anna’s neck. She looked down and proceeded to open the packet before her.

  “I’ve noticed the way you look at me,” he said as he drew a bottle of lemonade and two cloth wrapped glasses from the basket. “You can’t keep your eyes off of me.”

  Anna’s reply was a delicate harrumph.

  “Oh, sliced ham,” she said after she’d finished unwrapping the packet. “I love ham.”

  The next two bundles he removed from the hamper contained a crusty loaf of bread and an aromatic hunk of cheese. The menu was rounded out with several apples and a tin which contained ginger biscuits.

  “No ale or wine, in deference to you, my lady.”

  Her smile stopped his heart.

  “Thank you.”

  He basked in her radiance a moment, their earlier teasing forgotten. Collecting himself, he sliced the bread and the cheese with a knife found in the bottom of the hamper.

  “How is it such simple food can be so delicious?” Anna assembled a sandwich on a linen napkin.

  “The menu is to your liking?” He found a bit of mustard and handed it to her.

  “It is all lovely.”

  “When I told Cook I needed a picnic lunch she wanted to add pheasant and chicken to the menu. I didn’t want to look too obvious.”

  “Obvious?”

  “At my attempt to show you I’m good company in other places than the bedroom.” Her eyes widened when he added, “And your drawing room
.”

  He caught his breath when he saw the flicker of desire in her eyes. She blushed most becomingly, dropped her gaze again and occupied herself with pouring lemonade. Damn that bonnet of hers.

  Why was he flirting with her? This outing wasn’t about courtship. He took a bite of his sandwich.

  “Bailey’s party is ascending.”

  Anna turned to look in the direction of the blue balloon. He raised a hand in salute. Bailey waved back.

  “I do hope his flight will be a safe one.”

  He heard the worry in her voice and looked about for a topic to distract her.

  “When we were at school Bailey always kept an eye out for the next adventure,” he said.

  “And you?” she asked him. “Cecily told me about your leaving England. Working for the Foreign Office on the Continent could be considered looking for adventure.”

  He’d had a few escapades with Wiggins. From the wording of the letters his mother sent him he knew she thought he was a spy. Nothing could be further from the truth. He’d merely been a glorified linguist. If while in the throes of a passionate interlude, beautiful women divulged information that might be useful to Britain he merely passed the information along.

  “I was looking for an escape.” He studied the pastoral scene before them. “And absolution.”

  “Tell me.”

  Her soft voice floated over him. He took another bite of his sandwich while he thought about what there was to tell.

  Why had he left England? Would she think it was because of a woman? To his surprise, he felt the need to share his feelings of guilt with her.

  “There was a terrible accident.” He focused his gaze on the field before him, not really seeing the green lawn or other park visitors. “My brother had been married only a few months and the family joined Cameron and Millicent on a visit to the estate in Kent.”

  Anna remained silent.

  “Despite their short time together, Millicent had already developed a habit of constantly berating my brother for one imagined slight or another.” He paused. “I suggested he and I go out for some fresh air to get some peace from the woman.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’d spoken to Cam about my desire to purchase a new curricle when we returned to town. He told me I would have to improve my skills at the whip. There followed some pleasant ribbing and he declared he would show me what an excellent whip looked like. Other than the large town carriages we’d brought down from London, the only other vehicle at hand to drive was an ancient chariot.”

  He closed his eyes. He could see what happened next as if it had occurred only yesterday. “We were approaching a large wagon from behind and I dared Cam to pass it on the narrow track.”

  “No…” Anna whispered.

  He nodded. There had been a deep rut in the track and the front left wheel had gone down into it, shifting the weight of the carriage to one side. The horses were off balance and headed for a tree.

  “The carriage was old and brittle. We didn’t make it.” He opened his eyes to clear the vivid images of the crash from his mind. “I was thrown free. Part of the chariot landed on Cam.”

  Anna gasped. “What happened to your brother?”

  “His leg became trapped underneath one of the wheels. There was so much blood. I thought he would bleed to death right in front of me.”

  “But he survived,” Anna said, her voice calm.

  “His leg was…” He shuddered. He couldn’t bring himself to describe the bloody mess his brother’s leg had been. “The doctor told us the limb would have to come off.”

  He turned his face to Anna. He could feel moisture in his eyes. She reached out a hand and grasped one of his. He held her fingers tightly and swallowed.

  “Cam said he’d die first. He made my mother promise that no matter what happened, she would not allow his leg to be amputated. The doctor didn’t take off the limb. He told us that even if Cameron survived infections and fever, my brother would never be able to walk on that leg.”

  * * * * *

  Anna digested what he’d told her as Devlyn returned his gaze to the lawn spread out before them. A terrible thought came to mind. She guessed that the accident had something to do with his belief he was infertile.

  “Were you hurt in the accident?” she asked softly.

  “My groin was badly injured.” His answer sounded devoid of all emotion. “I wasn’t a man anymore.”

  She pulled her hand from his and replied indignantly, “What is a man? Who is a man? Franco?”

  Dev returned his gaze to her face. He looked startled at the intensity behind her words.

  “The ability to father a child doesn’t make you a man.”

  She stood and strode away toward the canal, heedless of the waterfowl scattering before her. She heard a muffled oath behind her and continued her march to the water. Once she reached the canal, she gazed through damp eyes at the ducks and the king’s famous pelicans.

  Devlyn stood close behind her now, his breath warm on the back of her neck.

  “What would a trip to St. James’s Park be without seeing the pelicans?” she mumbled, embarrassed by her tirade.

  The urge to lean back against Devlyn and feel his arms surround her overwhelmed her. She wished they were somewhere private. She would have shown him how much of a man she thought he was.

  “Devlyn,” she said as she turned to face him, “you are the only man I have ever felt admiration for. Your desire to protect your family and my godson Andrew show you to be the most caring, most honorable of men.”

  His lips twisted. “The first time we made love you thanked me for making you feel like a woman.”

  She wondered at his change of topic. “Yes, I did.”

  “You told me you were no longer useless.”

  Anna stared into the face that had become so familiar to her. She nodded. The sound of children’s laughter came from further down the canal where a family stood together feeding the waterfowl.

  “You said those things to me because you wanted to have a child. Without bearing children, you feel you have no purpose, no worth in life.”

  The realization of what she’d said to him that night at Stafford House and how differently she felt about his situation gave her pause. Devlyn turned from her and walked back toward their picnic.

  “We need to get back,” he said over his shoulder as he continued walking.

  She hurried to keep up with his rapid strides. They worked together and the remains of their meal were quickly packed, the blanket now stowed in the hamper.

  “Thank you for a lovely afternoon,” she said as they walked back up the slope to the carriage. To her immense relief, Devlyn had slowed his pace.

  “If Franco followed us today, he would know you have a protector.”

  “Franco?” she replied, bewildered.

  “I thought it would be a good idea if I made sure the man knew you had allies. High placed ones at that.”

  “Oh.” What could she say? She would never admit she’d thought Devlyn merely wanted to spend time with her.

  “His plan is to contact you after two more days?”

  “Yes.” She dared not look at him for fear he would read on her face her disappointment at his reason for their picnic in St. James’s Park.

  “I trust Bradley will chose to meet you somewhere other than Stafford House. The man will guess I have a plan to catch him. Our Franco will give a lot of thought to his next move.”

  * * * * *

  The carriage ride back to Grosvenor Square was not nearly as enjoyable as the ride to the park had been. He was irritated with himself. He’d deliberately hurt Anna by lying about the primary aim of their afternoon excursion. He’d spent time with her today for the simple reason he’d wanted to.

  Franco was merely a convenient excuse as he’d been from the start. He’d felt an overwhelming attraction for Anna the moment she’d opened her bedchamber door at the inn. Her sheer audacity at hiring a man to prove she wasn’t frigi
d intrigued him. Her latent sensual nature and responsiveness to him captivated him.

  No woman had ever occupied his thoughts as she did. Lady Stafford was a strong, intelligent woman who also happened to beguile him with her beauty and wit. He would do well to remember he wasn’t what Anna needed. Her priority in life was to have children and he couldn’t give her any.

  The maid on the high seat in front of him, Mary he believed her name was, sat rigid. The young woman had seen Anna’s forlorn expression when they’d reached the carriage and had shot a dark look at him.

  “Are you feeling all right, my lady?”

  “Yes, Mary. I enjoyed a lovely picnic and now it is over. It is time to go home.”

  The girl evidently blamed him for her mistress’s change in mood and well she might. His mood had soured as well. He’d shared the story of his accident with Anna and now felt extremely foolish. She probably pitied him now, the last feeling he wanted her to have for him.

  He couldn’t regret his afternoon with Anna. Although his comment about his wanting her to know he was good company outside the bedroom had been spontaneous, he’d meant it. He knew the woman cared for him. Whatever she felt for him, it wasn’t enough to condemn herself to a life without children.

  “At least Wiggins found a brief respite from his duty of watching over me,” Anna said as the barouche came to a halt in front of Stafford House.

  Devlyn made no reply. He jumped from the carriage and went around to help Anna down. Her gloved hand lay warm in his and he forced himself to release her hand once her feet were on the ground.

  “Do you have any plans this evening?”

  “No,” she replied with a lilt to her voice.

  “Good. If you do go out, make sure Wiggins is with you.”

  Anna turned away from him. “Please do not escort me into the house.”

  He’d seen the flash of hurt in her eyes and felt powerless to stop it. To prolong their relationship would only scar them both. He would return home and think about what to do with Franco. With Anna near, all he could think about was taking her into his arms and telling her everything would be all right.

  “Mr. Maitlin?” Anna had turned back to face him.

  “Lady Stafford?”