Corner Office (From the Tales of Dan Coast Book 12)

by Rodney Riesel

  “You kept them all?”

  “Yes. In my armoire.”

  “Your arm wire?”

  “Armoire.”

  “Oh, yeah, arm … war.” Dan shuffled through the pieces of paper that looked like they each had been ripped out of the corner of a notebook. “These should help.”

  “I don't see how.”

  Dan stuffed the papers into his front pocket. “Well, I better get going. It's almost dinner time.”

  “I can make you something here if you would like, Mr. Coast.”

  “Thank you, Marilyn. That's nice of you to offer, but I already have plans.”

  “I don't really want to be alone.”

  “Everything will be fine,” Dan assured her. “Keep all your doors and windows locked, and I'll drive by a couple times this evening.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Coast.” Marilyn reached out her hand. Dan took her hand and gave it a slight shake. He turned and walked back through the house to the front door. “Keep this door locked.”

  “I will, Mr. Coast.”

  Dan pulled the door closed behind him and walked across the street to his car. As he walked he looked up the street one way and down the other. He wondered if anyone had really entered Marilyn Valdosta's house, or if she was just imagining things. A slightly open curtain and a barely moved photograph were not enough to convince him.

  He opened his car door and got in. He reached for his phone and tapped the microphone icon. “Google,” he said, “what's an arm-war?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  What the Christ? Was Dan's first thought when he rounded the corner onto Beach View Street and saw Skip's yellow Volkswagen Thing parked out front of his house. Red's pink Bug was parked in the driveway.

  Dan pulled to the curb and parked behind the Thing. He gave Red's Bug a nasty look as he walked past it. He read the bumper sticker—Mafia Wife—to himself and shook his head. “Why's he gotta park in my driveway,” he grumbled.

  Dan walked down the driveway to the gravel path that led to the backyard. Old Man Stein, with a bottle of beer in his hand, was helming the gas grill.

  “Got ya all hooked up here,” said Stein, when he saw Dan round the corner of the house. Dan ignored him.

  Skip sat in one of the Adirondack chairs, and Red sat in the other. An open case of LandShark sat on the ground between them. Bev and Edna Mcgee were seated at the picnic table. Maxine was nowhere in sight.

  “Dan the man!” Skip shouted. Everyone turned their heads.

  When Dan was almost to the fire pit he heard the back screen door open behind him. He turned to see Maxine walking out of the house. She had a large plastic bowl of potato chips in one hand and a container of French onion dip in the other. Dan paused and waited for Maxine to reach him.

  “Where you been?” Maxine asked.

  “I had to run over to Marilyn Valdosta's house,” Dan replied.

  “One of the spy wives?”

  “None other. Didn't Bev tell you where I went? Are we having a party?”

  “Arnold and Edna said it was your idea,” Maxine told him. “They said you invited them.”

  “Who the hell is Arnold?” Dan asked.

  “Are you kidding?”

  “I don't know anyone named Arnold.”

  “Mr. Stein.”

  “His name is Arnold?”

  “Seriously?”

  “How the hell would I know his name was Arnold?”

  “He's lived across the street from you since you moved here. Did you think his name was Old Man Stein?”

  Dan grabbed a potato chip and tossed it into his mouth. “I didn't even know the old fart's name was Stein until you told me. Please stop speaking to neighbors.”

  “How's that?” Stein asked.

  “Nothing,” Dan responded. He returned his attention to Maxine. “Are ya sure this isn't too much for you?”

  Maxine cocked her head. “Too much for me? Why would it be too much for me?”

  “I don't know.”

  Maxine turned and carried the chips and dip to the picnic table.

  “Hey, bring some of those chips over here,” said Red.

  “Bring your lazy ass over here, and get some yourself,” said Bev.

  Skip laughed. “Good one, Bev,” he said. “Lazy ass”

  “You're lazy,” Red said to Skip.

  Dan grabbed one of the folding chairs leaning against the shed and took it with him to the fire pit. He unfolded it and took a seat. “Toss me one of those,” he said.

  Red reached into the case and pulled out a LandShark. He tossed it to Dan. Dan twisted off the cap and took a big swig.

  “Where've you been?” Red asked.

  “Had to run over to Marilyn Valdosta's,” Dan answered.

  Red sat up in his chair. “Without me?”

  “Who's Marilyn Valdosta?” Skip asked.

  “I only had to run over for a second, just to check on something,” Dan explained. “She called and said when she got home, someone had been in her house.”

  “That sounds dangerous,” said Red. “I should have gone with you.”

  “Is she one of the women married to the spy?” Skip asked, putting finger quotes around the word spy.”

  “I can take care of myself,” said Dan.

  “Since when?” Red asked.

  “The grill is ready,” Stein called out, “if someone wants to grab the burgers and dogs.”

  Maxine started to get up from the picnic table.

  Dan shot her a halting palm. “I got it,” he said, getting up from his chair. “I got it.”

  Red turned to Skip. “Yes, Marilyn Valdosta is one of the spy wives.”

  “He's not a spy,” Dan said angrily. “He's a con man.” He turned and lumbered up the gravel path to the back steps.

  Maxine had placed the hamburgers and hot dogs on a large platter and left it on the kitchen counter. Dan picked up the platter and carried it back outside and over to Stein at the grill.

  “You want me to cook these,” Dan asked. He sat the platter on the grill's side shelf.

  “I got it,” Stein replied.

  “You sure?”

  “I want it done right.”

  “Fine. Go ahead then.” Dan returned to his lawn chair.

  “What's the matter,” Red asked, “won't Arnold let you run your own grill?”

  “How the Christ did you know his name was Arnold?” Dan asked.

  “I've had dinner at his house before,” Red answered.

  “Why are you having dinner at my neighbor's house?”

  “They invited me.”

  “I'd be willing to bet you invited yourself.”

  “Well … they were—”

  “That's what I figured.”

  “You should get to know your neighbors a little better, Dan the man,” Skip offered. “Arnold and Gladys are really nice people.”

  “Who the hell is Gladys?” Dan asked.

  “Arnold's wife,” said Red.

  “Didn't even know the guy was married.”

  “I think they call that self-absorbed,” Red offered.

  “Where's his wife today?” Dan asked.

  “Upstate visiting relatives.”

  “I guess that was pretty nice of me inviting him over here then.”

  “Yeah, that's you. Always thinking of others.”

  Skip tipped up his bottle and swigged his beer. “So,” he said, after swallowing, “you want me to come in on this spy thing?”

  “Of course,” said Red.

  “No,” said Dan.

  “Why not?” Red asked.

  “I'm not too busy,” Skip pointed out.

  “Oh really?” Dan asked sarcastically. “Things at your part-time job at the gas station ain't weighing you down too much?”

  “Not at all,” Skip replied. “So if ya need some help, dude, I'm on it.”

  “Thanks for the offer,” Dan responded. “I'll let you know if we need anything.”

  “When do I get to see the new of
fice?” Skip asked.

  “Maybe tomorrow,” said Dan.

  “We still going over to talk with the other lady … Lola?” Red asked.

  “Yeah,” said Dan. “I'll pick you up around ten tomorrow morning.”

  “What about breakfast?”

  “Eat breakfast before I pick you up.”

  “You're not buying me breakfast?”

  “No.”

  “Then why am I going with you?”

  “Fine. I'll pick you up at nine.”

  “Can I come with?” Skip asked.

  “Sure,” Red replied.

  “No,” Dan said.

  “Harsh,” said Skip.

  “We don't need you on this.”

  “Mega-harsh.”

  Red nodded in agreement. “Mega-harsh, Dan.”

  “Fine,” Dan said.

  “I'll pick you up around nine as well.”

  “Nice, dude. Thanks,” Skip said.

  “Don't mention it.”

  “Should I bring some fire power?” Skip asked.

  “Maybe,” Red answered.

  “No,” Dan said. “We don't need any 'fire power.'”

  Skip shrugged.

  “We might,” Red interjected.

  “No we won't.”

  “Suture self,” Red said.

  “Suture self,” Dan groaned.

  “What,” Red asked. “Did I say it wrong?”

  “Burgers are done!” Stein shouted.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Skip was already at Red's house the following morning when Dan arrived to pick him up. Skip's Thing was parked mostly off the street and in Red's front yard. Dan pulled up and parked his Porsche right behind the old yellow Volkswagen.

  Dan walked up the sidewalk to the front door and entered. “Hello!” he shouted.

  “In here!” Red hollered back.

  Dan walked through the living groom and into the kitchen. Skip was seated at Red's kitchen table, with a cup of coffee in front of him.

  “Dan the Man!” Skip shouted when Dan entered the room. “Coffee?”

  “Sure,” Dan replied.

  “Red Man, get this guy a cup of java.”

  “Comin' right up,” Red sang out. He was grinning from ear to ear as he reached for a cup and poured the coffee.

  Dan sat down across from Skip. “What the Christ are you so happy about?” he asked.

  “Who says I'm happy?” Red asked.

  “You're grinning like an idiot.”

  “Oh, am I?”

  “His lady friend got back into town last night,” Skip informed Dan.

  “You mean, Charlene Walker?”

  Skip nodded his head. “Yeah.” He put his hand next to his mouth and leaned in. “She spent the night last night, bro,” he whispered.

  “Oh!” Dan responded. “Finally made your move. Good for you, pal.”

  Red waved him off. “It was nothin',” Red replied.

  “That's probably what she thought,” Dan said.

  “Hey-oh!” said Skip.

  “Shut up,” said Red. “She acted like she enjoyed herself.”

  “That's why they call it acting.”

  “Oh no you di'n't!” Skip shouted.

  Red sat Dan's cup in front of him. Dan picked it up and sipped it. “She still here?”

  “Yeah,” Red answered. “She's in the bedroom. I told her I had to work on a case today. I told her to stick around as long as she wanted.”

  Skip sucked air loudly through his teeth. “Big mistake, muchacho,” he said. “What if the little filly never leaves?”

  “The Amazing Gary isn't going to be too happy about this,” said Dan.

  “The Amazing Gary will be fine with it,” Red said. “And why shouldn't I have said she could stay as long as she wanted?”

  “What if your love making skills last night caused her to become infatuated with you?” said Skip. “Trust me, dude, I've had it happen a few times.”

  “I don't think he'll have to worry about that, Skip,” said Dan. “I'm just surprised she didn't chew off her own arm in the middle of the night just to get away.”

  “My best friend,” Red grumbled. He downed the rest of his own coffee and placed the cup in the sink. “Finish that up, I need some breakfast.”

  Dan took a big gulp of his coffee and stood. Skip got up from his chair as well. Red led the way back to the front door.

  “Shouldn't you give her a smooch goodbye?” Dan asked.

  “Don't do it, Red Man,” Skip warned. “Always leave them wanting more.”

  As the three men walked past Red's bedroom door, Dan knocked, and then in his best Red Baxter impersonation said, “Bye, honey.”

  “Bye,” Char Walker called out.

  “Love you,” Dan said.

  There was silence from the bedroom. Only the almost deafening sound of Red's full-body cringing and contorting could be heard.

  “What the hell did you say that for?” Red whispered.

  “I thought it would be funny,” Dan replied. He opened the door and walked outside. Red and Skip followed.

  “It wasn't funny at all, ya dick,” said Red “She probably thinks I said it.”

  “Yeah, I know. That's what makes it so funny.”

  “It was kinda funny, Red Man,” Skip offered. Dan has your vocal inflectoids down to a T.”

  “Shotgun!” Dan shouted.

  “Shotgun? Aren't you driving?” Red asked.

  “Ya know Skip is gonna want to drive.”

  “I was just gonna ask if I could drive,” Skip concurred.

  “I figured,” said Dan.

  “That's no fair,” Red said. “If I knew he was going to drive, I would have called shotgun.”

  Dan opened the front passenger side door and climbed in. “Woulda, shoulda, coulda,” he said.

  As Skip pulled away from the house Red tapped Dan on the shoulder. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you the best part about last night,” he said.

  Dan cringed. “Do I want to hear this?” he asked.

  “Char's younger brother came back with her to Key West.”

  “So?”

  “So, he's a cook … and his name is Zeb Walker. I'm thinking about hiring him as my new cook.”

  “Huh,” said Dan.

  “Isn't that crazy?”

  “What's even crazier is that you had sex last night for the first time in God knows how long, but you think the best part about last night is that Char has a younger brother that can cook.”

  “Okay, maybe that was the second best part,” Red admitted.

  “I wonder what the best part of Char's night was?” Skip asked.

  “I don't need it from you too, Skip,” said Red.

  “Sorry, Red Man.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Take a right here,” Dan said. “The house should be on the left.”

  Following Dan's directions, Skip turned right onto Noah Lane.

  “It's right there,” said Dan. “Pull to the curb.”

  “There's no parking here,” Skip said.

  “Pull into her driveway then.”

  Skip did as he was told, shut off his engine, and the three men climbed out of the car.

  “Whoa,” said Red. “Nice place.”

  Skip turned to Dan. “You should have a house like this, bro.”

  “I like my house just fine.”

  The two-story house was painted a soft pastel green with white shutters and trim. A two-story porch ran the entire width of the home. A stone walkway meandered between several Christmas and banana palms up to the porch.

  Red opened the gate in the white four-foot picket fence. “After you,” he said.

  Dan and Skip walked through the gate and up the three wooden steps to the front door. The door opened just as Dan was about to knock.

  “Mr. Coast,” said Lola Paragould. “Right on time. Please, come in.” Lola stepped back and let each one of them enter, keeping her eye on Skip.

  “Lola,” said Dan. “This i
s Skip Stoner.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” Lola said, offering her hand.

  “Nice to make your acquaintance,” Skip returned. He took Lola's hand and gave the back of it a gentle kiss.

  “Oh, what a gentleman,” said Lola. Her face flushed.

  “Yeah, that's Skip alright,” Dan said. “A real gentleman.”

  “Can I offer you boys a cup of coffee, or perhaps a fresh glass of sweat tea?”

  “No thank you,” Dan said.

  “Sweat tea would be great,” Red said. “Thank you.”

  “I'll have sweat tea too, please,” said Skip.

  Lola pointed to the back of the house. “If you boys could show yourselves through the dining room out to the pool, I'll bring those drinks right out.”

  “Thank you,” Red said.

  “Are you sure you wouldn't like a cup of coffee or a glass of tea, Mr. Coast?”

  “Yeah, what the heck. I'll have coffee.” Dan turned and walked through the foyer and into the dining room.

  The dining room and kitchen were one massive room with an exposed beam cathedral ceiling rising from nine to fourteen feet. The entire rear wall of the home was open to the pool. Accordion style glass panels were pushed along tracks to the left end of the room.

  Dan stepped down the one step from the dining room to the stamped concrete patio. A bar and three bar stools made out of bamboo was to his left, and several bamboo lounge chairs sat on the patio and surrounding pool apron. A round, glass-top table with bamboo legs and four chairs that matched the bar stools sat on the far side of the pool.

  Lola's pool was a little smaller than Marilyn's, but her landscaping was far more impressive. Several types of palms and huge plants with giant elephant-eared leaves surrounded the entire pool.

  “I feel like I'm at the lagoon on Gilligan's Island,” Dan commented.

  “I don't have one plant in my yard,” said Skip.

  “Did they name it Gilligan's Island after they were rescued?” Red asked. “Because I don't remember them ever calling it Gilligan's Island while they were marooned there.”

  “Good question, Red Man.”

  “No, it's not a good question,” Dan argued. “It's a stupid question. The island's name wasn't Gilligan's Island. That was just the name of the TV show, for chrissakes.” Dan shook his head as he walked to the edge of the pool.

  “Oh, yeah, smarty-pants?” Red said. “Then what was the name of the island?”