by S. J. Smith
Alexis hadn't been paying attention to their surroundings and didn't realise when Seth turned them down a walkway behind the demountable classrooms. Before she had a chance to question why they were back here, Seth leaned down and captured her mouth with his, his hands gripping her waist. Her right hand still held her books and pencil case, but her left hand moved up to grab the back of Seth's neck.
She really needed to stop getting into these compromising situations with him.
Hearing the voices of students getting closer, Alexis pushed away the boy that would only bring her trouble.
Moving back around the building she asked him, "What's gotten into you?" She'd tried to sound incredulous but really, she found this side of him hot. It made her feel wanted when he kissed her out of the blue like that. That however, was where the good feelings ended. They both knew the repercussions if they were caught. Getting caught by a teacher meant detention. Getting caught by another student, particularly one from their year, meant that their friends would find out. That was something neither of them wanted.
Well… Alexis had wished they could come out as a couple, but that was before the summer holidays.
She’d had a crush on Seth for so long that when he finally expressed an interest in her she couldn't believe it. He was her ex-boyfriend's friend. The two of them having an interest in each other wouldn't have gone over well with their group of friends, so they decided to keep it a secret.
Then Seth told her that Brennan, one of their best friends, had admitted to liking her - a lot. They'd decided to end it, so no one would get hurt. That lasted for all of two days before Seth was calling her, asking to meet up. They'd spent months stealing kisses and hiding their feelings for each other.
Alexis had thought that the rules they had set down were clear;
1) Their friends don't find out.
2) If they want to hook up with someone else, things end between them first.
3) Don't be weird with each other around other people.
Rule number two had proven to be particularly difficult for Seth to follow. Alexis held no delusions that they were in a monogamous relationship, or a real relationship at all for that matter. She did however think that Seth would be a decent enough person to tell her that he hooked up with someone else. So they ended things officially a few weeks after the Christmas break started and went back to how things were before.
Well, Alexis was trying to. It was safe to say she still had a massive crush on him. She hated herself for it every day.
◆◆◆
Brushing off the encounter with Seth, Alexis joined the group heading into class. Once she got inside she found a seat next to her oldest friend. "Well fancy seeing you here."
Had it been anyone else, they would've thought Alexis was flirting with the way she propped her chin in her hand and batted her forest green eyes.
"You're so weird." Emilia however was very used to Alexis' flair for the dramatic entrance. And exit. And general existence. Alexis had always felt that with a small camera crew, and a hair and makeup artist, her life would make a great TV show. If it weren't for a few small issues, for example - the law, they might be able to pull it off.
"You love me." Blowing a kiss to her less than impressed best friend, Alexis turned to look at what was written on the white board at the front of the classroom and Emilia got a look at the back of Alexis' dress.
"Why is your back covered in dust and..." There was a pause as she reached out to take off what looked like hair. "Cobwebs." It wasn't hair.
Ridding her hands of the sticky substance, Emilia brushed her hand over her friend's back until it was more or less clean. When she looked to Alexis for an answer she found her brunette friend steadfastly avoiding her gaze.
"Lex-" Before Emilia could continue the teacher, one they'd never had before, started the lesson. She introduced herself as Miss Peters and she was the new Modern History teacher. Maybe this one would stick around for more than a term.
A piece of paper slid across the desk towards Emilia, and she glanced down as though to make a note about the syllabus they were going through.
Seth -.-
Emilia looked over at Alexis, rolling her eyes. Honestly, she wasn't even surprised - Seth had issues letting go. He was a manipulative little shit and she didn't know why Alexis still hung out with him, even if it was just as friends.
A few days after New Year’s, Alexis came to her ready to burst into tears. She was ranting about Seth and an agreement they had, and how she found out he was hooking up with other girls and not telling her. Then he went and hooked up with one right in front of her. It took some time, chocolate and water before Alexis calmed down enough to get the whole story out, about how they'd started, ended, started again and then ultimately, this.
That night, Emilia helped her write the message ending things, and then helped her write the responses. Normally, Alexis was better at expressing herself with the written word. However, what Alexis wasn't great at, was staying strong when it came to her own personal devil on her shoulder. To Emilia's knowledge, she was the only one that Alexis had told about all of this. She'd also been informed of the rules they'd set down and knew why they wouldn't want something like this getting out to the student body. Alexis already got enough shit for what people thought her father did for a living.
◆◆◆
Thanks to the morning assembly, they only had to suffer through one proper class before recess. As they walked from class to their respective homerooms, Alexis filled Emilia in on everything that had been said and done.
"Are you going to meet him?"
"God no Em, what do you think I am? A masochist?"
"Well sometimes, you make me wonder, I'm not gonna lie." Emilia wondered if maybe she was being too harsh.
"Your lack of faith in me hurts a little." The smirk that spread across the pretty brunette’s face told Emilia that she took no offence.
After grabbing their recess snacks the pair went to their usual spot where the rest of their friends had already gathered and were unsurprisingly, having a heated discussion about something.
"Did you see the size of him?" Marty asked, a tinge of jealousy could be heard in his voice.
"He's taller than Seth," Jessica pointed out.
"Pfft, no he’s not," Seth argued.
"Fine, I dare you to go stand next to him," she taunted back.
The girls slid in on the ends of the metal bench, Alexis mentally noting that the only one who hadn't said anything was Brennan, who was too busy moping into his jelly fruit cup, his long black hair flopping into his eyes.
"Okay so, what are you lot on about, or I guess who are you on about?" Alexis asked.
Jessica was practically vibrating in her seat. It must've been killing her waiting this long to talk. "Lexi, did you get a look at him? Was I right? Is he hot?"
"Jess, sweetie relax. And only sort of. The guy next to him wouldn't move his head."
Jessica deflated only slightly, disappointed that she had no one to discuss the new guy’s attractiveness with. Seth on the other hand looked relieved, which made her heart float just a little bit. She was going to need to nail that thing to the floor of her chest cavity soon.
"So, moving on, how's everyone doing?" Alexis asked, effectively changing the topic.
◆◆◆
When the bell rang again, they started dispersing, but Alexis lagged behind to walk next to Brennan. They hadn't had a chance to talk this morning and she knew he must be feeling anxious today. His anxiety flared up whenever there was a major change. This year the school was opening up their new trade centre, a TAFE within the high school, and Brennan was one of the first ones to be in it. Once he got settled and made some friends he'd fine, but now he needed someone to lean on, and she was his designated someone. She'd asked him once before why he preferred having her around when he was feeling anxious – apparently he found her to be a calming presence.
"Hey, I haven't heard from you for a couple da
ys, what's been going on?" she asked, bumping his shoulder with hers. Instead of answering, Brennan gathered her up in a spine cracking hug. Which wasn't actually too bad since her back needed a good crack. When he put her feet back on the ground they started heading to their bags.
"Well my mum came down for a few days so that was good. Then it was just working and stuff. Sorry, I didn't get back to you."
"Don't worry about it, I was just curious. It's good that your mum could come down though. I'd better head into class, but we'll talk more later?"
◆◆◆
Finding her seat next to Jessica, Alexis thought about how weird her friendship with Brennan had become over the past year. She'd thought of him as a best friend and had believed that he felt the same way about her. Turned out that wasn't the case at all, and while she had been careful to not let on that she knew, it felt like he knew that she knew.
Things had gotten weird. It also occurred to her that this was the second time she'd sat down today thinking about how her relationships with people had changed. That was something that needed to stop.
One of the great things about having classes with Jessica was that Alexis didn't even need to finish her thoughts half the time. Jessica just knew what she was thinking. The other great thing was that they were both good at texting without looking, a skill that freaked their friends out for some unknown reason.
For now though, their teacher, Mr Kyle, was busy sorting out his papers and passing out the semester syllabus. "Right, so do you know anything about this guy other than he's apparently a giant?"
Jessica’s green eyes lit up with excitement. "Imagine if... Jensen Ackles and Cody Christian had a love child."
Alexis had to admit that what she was imagining was insanely hot and hoped that the real thing at least came close. There was also the consideration that maybe she had enough boy drama to deal with without adding more into the mix.
"Is he actually in our year?" Alexis asked, not sure what she wanted to answer to be.
"Yep. Brennan had second period with him. Didn't really say much about him though.”
"Yeah, he seems a little off today, for the past few days actually. Has he said anything to you?" Alexis didn't fail to notice how Jess' face expression became more closed off and she suddenly became very interested in the paper in front of her.
"Not really, he seemed fine when we caught up on the weekend."
Alexis couldn't help but feel hurt. She had messaged Brennan asking if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, and he'd told her he had family stuff. Family stuff he'd been telling her about just before class. So why had he lied to her and hung out with Jess instead?
Jess obviously knew something. For someone who tried to be all mysterious and 'interesting', she was a terrible liar. If you asked the right questions and paid attention, you could find out everything you needed to know without her actually saying anything.
"So, what'd you two do?"
"We met up with Seth and just hung out really, rode our bikes around. They ended up staying for dinner. My mum is not a fan of Seth at all, thinks he's creepy."
And sometimes, she just spilled the beans.
Jessica went on about what her parent's thought of the two boys, but Alexis' own thoughts were centred around how Brennan had lied to her. She went through all the different reasons she could think of as to why he avoided her and then lie about it.
Last time he ignored her, it had been because she bailed on their plans last minute. In her defence, it had been a code red situation on the Family business front, and no one was allowed to leave the house without an army of bodyguards, but she couldn't exactly explain that to him. Instead she'd told him she got a massive headache. He didn't buy it. A part of her wondered if maybe she should ignore him for so obviously lying to her about why he couldn't hang out, but decided it was far too childish.
For the rest of the period Alexis half listened to what Mr Kyle was telling them. Jessica kept whispering to her about what had happened when the guys were over her house, acting as though the constant attention was something she hated, but in reality, she thrived off it. Alexis didn’t understand why it wasn’t enough that Jessica had the undivided attention of her actual boyfriend. The few times that Alexis had floated the idea of her and Seth becoming a thing, Jessica had gotten all jealous and territorial, while trying to act like she was indifferent, in pure passive aggressive teenage girl fashion.
Alexis had learnt to hide how she felt about Seth and not talk to Jess about it, which was hard because they used to be able to talk about everything.
◆◆◆
When her fourth period Maths class was let out for lunch, Alexis looked at her messages, seeing the same text from Seth that she had been ignoring all period. He was reminding her about how they were going to meet up in their spot at lunch.
For a second, she even considered it, until she happened to glance across the room and saw Anna, the girl that Seth had hooked in with over the break. Just seeing her was more than enough to steel Alexis' resolve to not meet Seth.
She'd already let him hurt her and she wasn't going to be a sitting duck again. As Alexis walked, she saw the recreation building come into view. A mental image of Anna and Seth making out flashed behind her eyes, and Alexis took a sudden right turn towards her homeroom.
Before she knew it she was sitting on the lawn at the front of the school, under a big tree she couldn't name. She'd been in such a rush to be as far from that gym hallway where Seth was waiting for her that she had practically run here.
"Lex! What the hell? Are you deaf? I've been calling your name since you nearly bowled me over outside your homeroom."
Brennan.
"Um, shit, sorry. I wasn't ignoring you, just got a lot on my mind is all." Like how you lied to me and I don't understand why. She waited until he'd taken his usual spot on her left and turned to look at him.
"So, Jess was telling me about her weekend, pretty interesting stuff." She saw how his shoulders stiffened ever so slightly, and he paused unwrapping his sandwich, not looking at her. Something that she and Jess had in common was their passive aggressive streaks. Alexis didn't like it when her friends lied to her. Ironic since she was carrying around her own huge, guilt and shame inducing secret.
Brennan was now looking at her like a wounded puppy.
"Why didn't you just tell me that you didn't want to hang out with me on the weekend?" The look deepened and he moved closer to her, reaching for her hand. She let him take it, pushing down the uncomfortable feeling she got.
"You know I love hanging out with you. It's just Jess asked us first and Seth thought that maybe we shouldn't tell you in case you got jealous or something. He's an idiot and I never should've listened to him.”
It was obvious that he was genuinely sorry, but what he said about Seth pissed her off. She tried to brush it off though, Brennan had just listened to the wrong friend.
"Yeah, you're right, he is an idiot and no one should listen to him, ever." He squeezed her hand. "Why would I be jealous that you've already made plans? Yeah, I'd be a bit bummed that we can't hang out, but I would get over it. You don't need to feel bad about making plans with other people."
He awkwardly leant over their food to give her a hug, muttering his apology into her hair, "I'm really, really sorry."
She pulled away the best she could without making it obvious that she was getting uncomfortable, especially with so many people now making their way to their lunch spots established from the year before.
With Brennan, his issue was boundaries. He didn't seem to understand that other people had them. He was one of her best friends, and she always felt like she could tell him anything, unless it was about guys she liked, then he got really uncomfortable. Before she had a chance to assure him that they were good, their other friends started to arrive and put an end to their private conversation.
Looking up to greet the new arrivals Alexis was glad that they were forced to wear hats outside during the fir
st and fourth terms. She remembered being blinded quite a few times last year whenever the sun had hit Marty’s orange hair at just the right angle. She also wondered why it was that they didn’t find a shadier spot to eat lunch since out of all of them, only she and Emilia had olive skin. She was surprised the rest weren’t already turning pink.
It wasn't until halfway through their lunch break that Marty questioned where Seth was. Alexis had been, up until that moment, successfully ignoring the vibrating phone in her dress pocket. She had a feeling that if she were to check those missed messages, they'd all be from Seth, and they would all be shitty.