by S. J. Smith
Alexis slowly ate her sandwich, listening to the group throwing around ideas on where Seth was, nodding along whenever someone looked in her direction. She figured if her mouth was full then she didn't have to lie.
Ten minutes and two topic changes later, Em looked over Alexis' shoulder and pursed her lips in annoyance.
"Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear, he'll be late, but he will appear."
This prompted the rest of them to look up from their conversations and food.
"Dude, where have you been? Lunch is almost over," Brennan questioned their tall friend as he dropped down on the grass next to him.
Seth shot a glare at Alexis as he answered, "Sorry, got held up."
Alexis hoped that he had a better excuse than that. They were friends with some of the nosiest people on the planet, all of whom could pick apart a story like nobody’s business. Except Em and Marty. Em just respected people's privacy. She might know you're lying, but she understood sometimes people needed to have secrets, and she knew it better than anyone else that Alexis knew. Marty was just too self-absorbed to care unless the lie directly affected him. It was one of the reasons they never worked out.
Just as Seth was gearing up to tell them all some obvious lie, or maybe all his lies were just obvious to her because she always knew the truth he was hiding, the bell rang, saving his ass.
"And back into the depths of hell we go kids." Alexis got up, brushing away any dirt or grass that might be caught on the ass of her dress. Two more periods, and then she could run away from this place, until tomorrow.
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Alexis' phone vibrated in her pocket sporadically for the rest of the school day. She knew that she would have to talk to Seth eventually. They were still friends... sort of. Sometimes when she thought about their history, she couldn't remember a time that he hadn't been obviously interested in her. Most people thought he was just a very friendly guy. When she had been going out with Marty, he had made it very clear that Seth had a habit of falling for the girls his friends dated. Marty had then proceeded to make things awkward anytime they all hung out, accusing Seth of flirting with her when they were just talking as friends.
In hindsight, Alexis couldn't help but admit that in this one instance, Marty had actually been right about something. She would, however, deny it to anyone who asked.
Alexis avoided opening the messages from Seth for the rest of the day. She didn't know why she was feeling so guilty about not showing up. She had no reason to feel guilty. Right? They had set rules for their arrangement for a reason. And he broke a rule. He hooked up with someone else, didn't tell her, and then tried hooking up with her like normal. She understood why he didn't tell her he wanted to hook up with Anna. If he had, then their thing would have stopped for good. Why risk losing what he already had on the off chance he'd be able to hook in with someone else.
Just because she understood why he did it, didn't mean that she would ever agree with it. She'd made it clear to him back then that what they had was over and yet, here he was once again, trying to manipulate her into doing what he wanted. And he was making her feel guilty in the process. It wasn't right.
At the end of the day, her not showing up only wasted half of Seth's lunch break, which could've been avoided if he wasn't always assuming that she would do what he wanted. What he did to her... breaking their rules and lying about it... that broke her heart. She had felt so stupid, holding out hope that he would realise he wanted a relationship with her, no matter who knew or what their friends thought. When she ended things with him, she thought that she was free of his manipulation, but obviously she'd been wrong about a lot of things.
Walking to the pickup zone where her mum would be waiting for her, Alexis gave in and looked at all the messages Seth had sent her through the second half of the day. There was a combination of instant messages and texts, which explained the constant vibrating of her phone.
12.47 - I'm here
12.50 - Waiting for you
12.55 - Where are you?
12.57 - Did you get detention or something?
13.05 - It's starting to look weird, me just standing here
13.10 - I'm gonna head to the lunch spot.
13.45 - Dude what the fuck!?
13.50 - You just went to lunch and didn't even bother to tell me you weren't coming anymore?
14.15 - So you're just going to ignore me? Fine. Be a bitch.
By the time Alexis made it to her mum's waiting car, she was full of renewed anger. She had told him that she was done with whatever it was they were, and she meant it. When she had gotten upset about him hooking up with Anna, he acted like it was no big deal and she shouldn't have been upset about it because they weren't together, so it wasn't like he cheated.
"Um, hello? Earth to Lex?" Alexis looked to her right at her mum, Carmen.
"What's wrong?" There was a look of concern so genuine and protective in Carmen's eyes, that it could only come from a loving mother. It was that look that made Alexis want to spill her guts about everything that had been going on.
She knew that her parents hadn’t wanted her dating yet, but it couldn't really be classified as dating, so she kept everything a secret.
"Just a long day and I have a headache." She would continue to keep it a secret. There was no way her perfect mum could understand what she was going through right now. Nodding sympathetically, Carmen turned down the music and turned up the aircon, directing the vents towards Alexis, then they started the slow crawl through afterschool pickup traffic. While her mum was focusing on the other impatient mums and dads trying to escape the school parking lot, Alexis turned her attention back to her phone. There was no way she was letting Seth win this.
15.30 - Did you maybe consider that I was in class and trying to not get detention. And since you've forgotten, I never actually agreed to meet you at lunch, so you wasted your own time there. You also made it very clear that we weren't together, and I made it very clear that what we had was done. So you have no reason to assume that I would meet you just because you told me too.
15.32 - What are you talking about? You said you'd meet me.
15.35 - No. I didn't. You walked up to me, told me to meet you, I mocked you for not even saying hello and then it was end of discussion.
15.38 - So? You never said you wouldn't meet me.
15.45 - Really?! That's what you’re taking away from that? That even though I didn't agree just because I didn't disagree then I still should've met up with you? What is wrong with you?
Alexis tossed her mobile into her bag, too frustrated with Seth's attitude to even wait for his response. While she'd been lying about having a headache fifteen minutes ago, she had one now. When she looked up she realised they were in the drive through at McDonalds.
"Mum, not that I'm arguing with your choice of afternoon snack, but what's the occasion?"
"Well you look like you've had a rough day, and I thought you might like a thick shake to help with that headache."
Alexis leaned over the centre console to rest her head on her mum's shoulder.
"Also I'm craving something salty."
"Oop there we go, the truth comes out. You're just using me as an excuse to satisfy your own desires."
"Mm, well what good is having kids if as a parent you can't use them as an excuse every now and again?"
"I'm starting to wonder what else you've used me to get out of."
"Shh, what those overly involved mums at your school don't know, doesn't hurt me."
"Pft, whatever. You could destroy those women with your savage wit alone." Alexis sat back properly in her seat when they got to the speaker box to order and located her mum's debit card.
"So you think I'm savage do you?" Carmen smirked at her daughter after she finished putting through their order and moved the car forward a few more feet.
"Yes, mum. You are the most savage parent I've ever met. Seriously though, I don't buy it for a second that those women could f
orce you to be involved in something you didn't want to be."
As they left the payment window Carmen pulled up the arm rest in the centre console and pulled out a packet of painkillers, tossing them into her daughter's lap.
"Thanks mummy." Alexis put on her best toddler voice, or worst toddler voice depending on your feelings about imitating toddlers. She couldn't help it though. It was one of those things that came out whenever she was feeling particularly pathetic or talking to someone or something that was insanely adorable. In this instance she was definitely feeling pathetic.
Once they'd gotten their drinks, Alexis popped two pills out of their foil and took them with her thick shake. She didn't know why, but painkillers always went down better when taken with a liquid that wasn't water, at least it did for her.
"So, you want to tell me about school now?"
"It was fine. Same old same old."
"Lex." The tone in her mum's voice was all the warning Alexis needed. It was always easier to at least tell half the truth, it was normally enough to satisfy her mum's curiosity.
"It's just, the guys. They've been really weird lately, Like, last week, I asked Brennan if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, and he said he couldn't because he had family stuff, which you know, fine, whatever, family is family. I'm Italian, who am I to stand in the way of family stuff. But then, today I was talking to Jess, and she said that on the day I wanted to hang out with him, he and Seth were over at her place and they stayed for dinner. Like what the actual hell? Then, when I asked Brennan about it at lunch, he said that it was all Seth's idea to lie to me. I mean, come on. Firstly, why did they feel like they needed to lie to me about having plans to hang out with Jess? We're all friends. We're allowed to hang out all together or only some of us. What's the big deal?"
"Do you think that maybe they were worried that you'd be jealous?"
"Brennan actually said that Seth thought that I would get jealous, and that's why they shouldn't tell me. Why would they think that in the first place though? I don't get it."
"Well, you normally all hang out together. Have they hung out without you before? Or you and the guys with Jess? I know you and Jess hang out on your own more than enough." Carmen was always trying to make sure her daughter looked at situations from both sides before she reacted.
"Yeah, of course, it's nothing new. If someone can't make it then we still go ahead with the plans even if they can't come. We just try and make new plans for when that person is free."
"Mm, but what I'm suggesting is, hasn't there been a time when you've organised something with Brennan and Seth, without Jess ever being a part of the plan, whether she could come or not?"
Alexis took a moment to think about it. She was always making one on one plans with Jess or Brennan. And she knew that Brennan and Jess hung out just the two of them sometimes, and of course Brennan and Seth did the same because they're best friends. She couldn't remember the last time she'd made plans specifically just with Seth and Brennan though. Normally Brennan was the one messaging her to see if she was free, and whenever Jess wasn't there already, the guys had said that she was busy.
"I'm going to guess by your two-minute silence that the answer is that you haven't made plans that didn't include Jess, not to exclude her, but because you wanted to hang out with just the guys."
"What I don't get though is why-" Alexis cut herself off, making her unfinished sentence sound like a question. Leaving her mum hanging, Alexis dug around her bag for her phone. She ignored the message from Seth and composed a hurried text to Brennan. She didn't know what it was that had made her realise why Seth had decided that she needed to be lied to. It was as though all the clues that had been right in front of her face had just leapt at her all at once and formed a bigger picture.
Now she just had to wait to see if Brennan confirmed her suspicions correct.
For the remainder of the drive home, Alexis vented to her mum about her classes and the teachers she didn't like, as well as how useless assemblies were to have every Monday morning. As if Monday's weren't torturous enough, why did the school feel like they needed to add to it?
By the time they walked through the front door, Alexis felt so much lighter. In all her ranting she managed to forget about how shitty Seth had made her feel and the hurt she was still feeling over his betrayals.
She was able to give her dad a watered-down version of her day, which she knew he appreciated after he had been conducting interviews all day.
It was as Alexis was getting dressed in her lounging clothes after her shower that she got a reply from Brennan. It was a short message, but it was enough to make her heart drop into her stomach as all the new realisations sank in.
16.25 - Yeah he does, who told you?
Chapter 3
16.25 - Yeah he does, who told you?
Seth liked Jess. All this time. Seth had liked Jess. But he couldn't get Jess. So he settled for her. She had felt genuine feelings for him, and she'd just been a consolation prize. No wonder he never wanted an actual relationship with her, and why he insisted that they couldn't tell anyone about what they were doing. He thought that if it got back to Jess then he'd lose any chance he might've had with her. He didn't actually care about hurting his friendship with Brennan. He only cared about how Jess saw him.
Fuck him.
There was so much hurt bubbling up inside Alexis that she didn't know what to do with it.
If she started crying now and her mum or dad came in, they would demand to know what she was so upset about, and she didn't think she had it in her to come up with a convincing lie right then.
If she went down to the basement training room to the punching bags, then it would have the same outcome. She never exercised unless she was angry, and she'd have to explain to her parents why she was riled up enough to do any kind of physical activity.
Her phone vibrated with another message.
16.46 - Lexi?
Brennan again. She shot back a quick message, something along the lines of having guessed and that she'd message him later. When she was about to shove her phone under her bed pillows she remembered the new message from Seth and decided to see what he had to say.
16.30 - I'm sorry for being an ass, I've missed you the past few weeks. Still friends?
Prick. Absolute prick.
God, she felt so used and dirty. She was done... for good. She didn't care who figured out that there was something wrong between her and Seth, she just didn't want to be anywhere near him.
For the rest of night Alexis hid out in her room. She didn't message Brennan or Seth back, just lay in bed and watched old movies on her laptop until she fell asleep.
The next morning when she got to school she managed to strategically avoid both the boys, with Em's help of course. As soon as Em saw her friend's face, the black-haired mother hen whisked Alexis off to a quiet part of the library, hidden from the prying eyes of others, where they were frequently able to discuss the current events of their lives.
◆◆◆
Rain pattered against the library windows. Considering it was the middle of summer it was strange for there to be rain. Then again, Australian weather was always a bit unpredictable. Normally the sound of the rain would make Alexis feel better, but with the summer heat it just created a humid mess that made an unbearable day worse.
"I'm such an idiot, God, I should've seen it." Alexis's eyes were still a bit puffy, and there were shadows under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She also forgot to put concealer on before leaving the house and left her backup tube in her other dress. Thankfully, part of her autopilot mode included putting deodorant on, otherwise she'd never be able to live today down.
"Lex, come on, I've seen him around. Anyone would've thought he had a thing for you. As a matter of fact, a lot of people do. They also reckon he's got a thing for Jess, so there's a bet going on who he'll end up with. My money is firmly on neither of you. You deserve so much better."
When Alexis let out a half-heart
ed chuckle, followed up by smile, Em took it as a good sign. Even though the chuckle sounded more like a dramatic exhale and the sad eyes made the smile look more resigned than happy, it was progress. "Do you have any classes with him today?"
Alexis was suddenly grateful that they'd all shared their class timetables to the group chat after school yesterday. Well except herself. She had shoved her phone under her mountain of pillows and forgotten about it as much as she could until this morning. Then she remembered she hadn't charged it the night before, which resulted in a frantic charge while she stumbled through half of her morning routine.