Just One Year

by Ward, Penelope

  I got up from my seat. “I have to leave. Something’s happened back at the house. No time to explain. I’ll text you soon.” I didn’t even fully make eye contact with Veronica as I dashed away.

  My pulse raced as I exited the restaurant and ran down Beacon Street toward Brookline. I would’ve hopped a trolley, but there was none approaching that I could see. So at this point, the fastest way home was to run.

  When I got to the house, everyone had surrounded Teagan in the living room. Aside from one bruise on her face, she seemed fine—physically, at least.

  I panted from my sprint. “Are you okay?”

  Rather than answer, Teagan asked, “Did you run home?”

  “Yeah. I heard you were hurt, so I got here as fast as I could.”

  Maura smiled at me sympathetically. Lorne looked angrier than I’d ever seen him, and Shelley seemed downright scared.

  I wanted to ask Teagan exactly what had happened, but I wasn’t sure she’d want to rehash it again. Instead, I sat down next to her and said nothing. She must have seen the many questions written all over my face because she started to talk.

  “So, I was sitting in my usual seat. I thought I was alone for the longest time. But apparently there was a man somewhere in the theater. Either he spotted me outside and followed me in, or he was already in there. He came up next to me and put his hand over my mouth. I started to kick and scream, but my voice was muffled. He said he had a knife, but it was too dark to tell if he really did. Thankfully, I had the panic button I always keep with me. It makes a loud sound. I was able to reach into my pocket and grab it. When I activated it, a clerk ran into the theater, and the man let me go.”

  My heart was palpitating. Teagan and I hadn’t known each other very long, but I’d grown to care for her and everyone else in this house. The thought of someone trying to hurt her brought out a protective rage in me.

  “When he ran away, I ran after him,” she continued. “All I could think was that if I didn’t catch him, he’d be out there doing this to other people.” She looked over at her sister. “I thought about Shelley.”

  She ran after him?

  “So I ran as fast as I could, and the theater employee ran with me. When we caught up to him, we were able to tackle the guy to the ground until the police came.”

  “Holy shit, Teagan. You caught him?”

  She managed a slight smile. “They took me to the precinct for questioning. And now he’s in custody. Apparently he’s a registered sex offender.”

  Teagan had come so close to being raped in that theater. And instead of running away when she had the chance, she ran toward him. Her courage overwhelmed me. I was so fucking proud of her.

  “I will personally do whatever it takes to see that he stays behind bars,” Lorne said.

  “Thank you, Dad,” she whispered.

  “Can I get you anything?” Maura asked her.

  “No. I’m fine. Maybe I’m still in shock. I don’t know.”

  Shelley hugged her sister. It was nice to see that at a time like this, Teagan wasn’t pushing her family away. But I knew she had a limited tolerance for being smothered.

  After several minutes of sitting with everyone in quiet shock, she excused herself to her room.

  I joined the rest of the family in giving her space, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything for the rest of the afternoon.

  Later, Teagan didn’t want to come upstairs for dinner, so everyone just ate in silence. I felt certain every person at the table was reliving the events of the afternoon in their minds.

  In a continued attempt to let Teagan rest, I returned to my room after dinner. I was shocked when she sent me a text.

  Teagan: Don’t forget, tonight is our study session at 8.

  What? Is she serious?

  Caleb: I assumed you wouldn’t be up for it.

  Teagan: Anything to get out of it, eh, Yates?

  Caleb: You got me. Always the slacker. I’ll be down in ten.

  It hadn’t been quite ten minutes before I made my way downstairs. Teagan clearly hadn’t expected me this soon, because when I stood in the doorway, I found her wiping tears from her eyes. Perhaps I’d walked in at the moment that what had happened today finally hit her.

  When she saw me, she wiped her eyes again and sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

  “Fuck, Teagan. Don’t apologize.” I moved to sit at the edge of her bed, putting my laptop down next to me. My chest felt tight, and the right words wouldn’t come out.

  She spoke before I had a chance to figure out what to say. “You know what I’m the most pissed about?”

  “What?”

  “The fact that Maura was right. Do you know how long I defended that damn place, argued that it was safe?”

  “I told you I thought it was dodgy, but I never imagined something like this would happen, either.”

  She stared down at her bedspread for a while, and then looked up at me. “You caught me crying…because I let my mind go to that ‘what if’ place for a moment, but I can’t do that. The worst didn’t happen. I just need to be grateful.”

  “You were smart to have that panic button in your pocket. You saved yourself.”

  “I got lucky. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how rich or poor, what you look like, if someone is attacking you, you’re only as good as your physical strength—your will to risk your life to get away.” She shook her head, as if to stop herself from thinking too deeply about it. “Anyway, let’s get to work.”

  Studying at the moment didn’t quite feel right. “Are you sure you want to study tonight?” I asked. “We can just talk or hang out. You’ve had quite a day.”

  “I actually think studying will help me get my mind off things.”

  “Alright. Good enough.”

  We dug right into our homework. And I did my best to concentrate. As usual, she stopped at a certain point to quiz me. This time, I flubbed up, but I didn’t want to admit it was because I couldn’t stop wondering about the ‘what-ifs’ of today either—the very thing I’d told her not to do.

  “I’m sorry. I’m particularly bad tonight, aren’t I?” I finally said.

  “It’s okay. I think we can pretty much throw away this day.” She closed her laptop. “You know what else really sucks? I loved going to that stupid theater. It was my place. Now I don’t think I can go back without thinking about what happened today.”

  The fact that she’d even consider going back there baffled me. But if there were some place I loved to go, and someone had taken that from me, I might have felt the same way.

  “You might be able to go back someday.”

  She exhaled. “Where were you today when Maura texted you about me?”

  I laughed a little, remembering my miserable encounter with Veronica’s parents. It was the first time I’d thought about it since arriving home.

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, that’s a story for another day.”

  “No. Tell me.”

  I sighed. “Well, Veronica and I had lunch plans in Kenmore Square, only she didn’t tell me they included meeting her parents. It was sort of an ambush.”

  Teagan narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t realize you guys were that serious.”

  “We’re not. I mean, I guess we’re not seeing other people, but in my opinion, meeting the parents was premature.”

  “How were they?”

  “Like my biggest nightmare. Her father questioned my decision to major in general studies, and her mother basically said I might as well break up with her daughter now if I planned to move back to England.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yep. They ended up leaving to go sightseeing. So I ordered a beer and downed it just before I got Maura’s text about you. Then I took off and left Veronica sitting there.”

  Her eyes widened. “Did you tell her what happened? Why you left?”

  “No. Just that something happened at home. I texted her later to explain and apologized for booking it out of there.”

  “
You ran all the way from Kenmore Square?”

  “Of course. I was freaking out, thinking you were hurt.”

  What I neglected to mention was how pissed off Veronica was after I left her at the restaurant. She didn’t understand my reaction. I wouldn’t have expected her to, considering she and I had never discussed my friendship with Teagan.

  Teagan blinked. “Thank you for caring so much.”

  “Of course. You guys are like a second family to me. I couldn’t imagine anything happening to you, Teagan.”

  I meant that. Teagan had no idea about the issues I dealt with at home. Being here with the Carrolls was like a breath of fresh air.

  She stared off. Again, her mind seemed to slip into a contemplative place. I supposed when you experienced a traumatic event, the realization came in waves.

  “I do everything in my power to hide my sexuality,” she finally said. “And yet just being a woman, I’m a target. It’s so scary.”

  “Even if you were flaunting your sexuality, it wouldn’t have been your fault. It’s never someone’s fault when a sick person decides to attack them.”

  We sat in silence for a bit.

  “Can I tell you a secret?” I finally said.

  “This would be your second secret out of ten, so make sure it’s a good one.” She smiled.

  It’s good to see her smile.

  “Okay, then I should clarify that it isn’t officially a secret, because I’ve sort of hinted at it before, mostly when talking about your intelligence, but today it applies more to your overall character. I’m not sure if anyone’s told you this, but you should know it.”

  “What?”

  “You’re a badass, Teagan.”

  “That’s your secret? That I’m a badass?”

  “Yes.”

  Her mouth curved into another smile. “Well, thank you.”

  “You really are. And I think we need to celebrate that fact tonight.”

  “How are we going to do that exactly?”

  “Spoiler: not by studying.”

  “Well, that’s a given.”

  “I’ll give you a hint at what I’d like to do to celebrate your badassery. It begins with an S and rhymes with floors.”

  She took a second to ponder. “You want to celebrate with s’mores.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  “Didn’t we just make s’mores the other night?”

  “I can’t help it. I think I’m addicted—to s’mores and Hot Cheetos. Two things I don’t have back home. I need to get my fill while I’m here.”

  “You can make s’mores back home.”

  “I suppose. Although I don’t see myself lighting a fire outside our flat with no real yard. Quite sure that’s not allowed.”

  “Yeah, that probably won’t work.”

  I hopped up. “What do you say?”

  “I say you’re crazy.” She shrugged. “But let’s do it.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  * * *

  TEAGAN

  A week later, I was in my room when I noticed I’d missed a notification that someone had joined one of my performances on the singing app. That rarely happened to me.

  I cracked it open and saw the user’s name: S’moresDude.

  My heart sped up as I clicked into it and saw Caleb’s smiling face in the preview.

  Oh my God!

  No, he didn’t.

  How did he know about this? It had to be Shelley. She always used to sneak my phone before she got one. I’m going to murder her!

  After I pressed play, I couldn’t help laughing like a fool as I watched our duet, a split screen of Caleb and me singing Adele’s “Someone Like You.” Our voices blended well, his deep baritone complementing my soprano. It was kind of great, actually.

  The exaggeratedly serious expression on his face as he sang cracked me up, and Caleb’s voice was pretty good. I was no professional, but I could carry a tune, and apparently so could he. I’d even venture to say his voice was better than mine. I’d always done these for fun, to let loose, not because I thought I had something to offer in the singing department. Oddly, though I tended to be uncomfortable expressing myself around people I knew, I had no problem interacting with strangers. No one knew me on the app—until now. It had been a place I could let my inhibitions go and not be judged or recognized. Or so I thought.

  I exited the app and clicked on my text icon.

  Teagan: I’m not even going to ask how you found out about the singing app.

  The dots danced as he typed out a response.

  Caleb: It took you bloody long enough! I’ve been dying for your reaction for two days.

  Teagan: You’re nuts. And I hate you for doing it. But it cracked me up.

  Caleb: I think we give Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello a run for their money, don’t you?

  Teagan: I wouldn’t give up your day job just yet, S’moresDude.

  I was still smiling from ear to ear when Kai came over for a visit a little while later.

  We were just hanging out in my room. I chose not to tell Kai about the attack at the theater because I didn’t want to deal with her reaction. I hoped she hadn’t seen the story on the news, although my name wasn’t mentioned. Between talking to the police over the past week and rehashing everything to my family, I didn’t want to relive it again. So, we were doing what any two girls with nothing major to discuss would be: mindlessly scrolling our phones and ignoring each other.

  “I saw Caleb making out with Veronica over by Coolidge Corner yesterday. He had her pinned against the wall of a brick building. I guess they’re still going strong.”

  I looked up from my phone. “Why are you telling me this?” My tone was definitely defensive.

  “I don’t know. I’m just gossiping, I guess. Normally you’re down for that.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t need to know about Caleb.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Are you…into him now or something?”

  “Of course not. Why would you say that? He’s basically like my brother at this point,” I lied.

  There was nothing about Caleb that made him seem like a brother. But pretending was my way of hiding any feelings I might have had for him.

  “Why would I say that?” she asked. “Because you just snapped at me for telling you something I observed.”

  “I get that it was just an observation, but it’s one I don’t need to be told about.”

  Kai stared at me for a few seconds. “Because you like him.”

  My pulse started to race. “No.”

  “Why else would it upset you so much?”

  “It doesn’t upset me.”

  “Look, I get it. He’s super hot, and from everything I can tell, pretty sweet and personable. You told me you guys have been getting along lately. Why wouldn’t you be a little jealous?”

  “It’s just not news. I know he’s with Veronica. I know he has sex with her. The fact that they were kissing is just…not anything new.”

  Kai squinted at me and smiled. “So how long have you been in love with Caleb?”

  I felt sweat form on my forehead. I instinctively wiped it. “I’m not in love with him.” Realizing that my physical reaction might be giving me away, I decided to concede. “But I am starting to care for him.”

  “Define care for him.”

  I stood and walked over to the window to hide my face from her. “It doesn’t matter. He has a girlfriend.”

  “What if he didn’t?”

  “Then I would still keep my feelings to myself because he’s leaving to go back to London at the end of the school year, and nothing good could come from getting attached.” I turned to face her. “But here’s why we really shouldn’t be having this conversation: Caleb doesn’t like me that way. He calls me his ‘pseudo-sister’ and while he may like being around me and might be a little protective, he wouldn’t be interested in me.”

  “Well, you do nothing to hint that you might be open to anything. When was the last time you let
your hair down or wore something feminine?”

  “Feminine is not my style. I’m a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. You know that.”

  “You’re gorgeous, Teagan. And the only reason you aren’t with someone right now is because you choose not to be.”

  “I was with Thad for three months.”

  She tilted her head. “And how did that turn out?”

  “I ended it because I wasn’t sexually attracted to him.”

  “Okay, but you knew there wasn’t sexual chemistry before you guys started dating. I think you intentionally choose people you’re not sexually attracted to, because you don’t want to have to worry about sex or all of the feelings that come with it.”

  “I’ve had sex.”

  “One time in high school ‘just to get it over with’, as you put it, doesn’t really count, Teagan.”

  “Sure, it does.”

  “Did you have an orgasm?”

  “No.”

  “Sex without an orgasm is like a candle without fire. Useless. It doesn’t really count.”

  ***

  The following day, I was just leaving campus when Caleb came running across the lawn.

  “Teagan, wait up.” He was a bit out of breath by the time he got to me. “Hey!”

  I grinned. “Hi.”

  He flashed a wide smile as he fell into step with me. “You heading back to the house?”

  “Yup.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I thought you worked on Wednesdays after class,” I said.

  “I switched with a friend of mine tonight. I’ll be working the late shift instead.”

  “I just saw Veronica hop the trolley.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “She’s going shopping on Newbury Street with some friends.”

  “Oh. Fancy.”

  “She does like to spend money.”

  “She comes from money, doesn’t she?”

  “Her parents are wealthy, yeah. So naturally they love the fact that she’s wasting her time dating a skint bum who’s leaving the country in less than a year.”