“Here you go, sir.” He handed me a key card and went on about a WiFi password and other things that were completely going in one ear and out the other. Who could concentrate on meaningless information at a time like this?
“Thank you,” I said as we walked away.
My blood vibrated in my body. You’d think I was about to dive off a board at the Olympics.
Jesus. Why was I so nervous? I’d had sex plenty of times. But never had it mattered the way it seemed to matter now. Never had it mattered at all.
Teagan followed me to the lift, which was empty. When the doors closed and we were alone, I whispered in her ear. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
As nervous as I was, I silently begged for her to say yes.
She looked me straight in the eyes. “I’m sure, Caleb.”
I squeezed her hand.
Well, it seems we’ve finally lost control.
But at least we’d lost it together.
I always carried two condoms in my wallet. I’d never had to use them so unexpectedly, but I thanked God I had them with me right now.
When the lift doors dinged open on our floor, Teagan took my hand as we went down the hallway. A couple of kids wrapped in towels skidded past us, returning from the pool. The bright orange carpet with blue designs almost seemed psychedelic in my continued fog. Perhaps all of my heightened senses were causing a distortion.
I pressed the key card to the door and pushed it open. Teagan was so close, practically stuck to my back as we entered. The heavy hotel door latched shut behind us. Then, everything happened in rapid succession.
We fell together onto the bed, a mess of hormones gone awry. Never more aroused in my life, I was so hard I thought I might explode in my jeans.
“Do whatever you want to me…” She spoke over my lips. “Just don’t stop.”
The raw need in her voice drove me even further into a frenzy. Teagan lay on top of me as I worked to pull her shirt over her head, no easy feat when two people refuse to break their kiss for even a millisecond. My tongue was so far down her throat, I hoped I wasn’t choking her.
Teagan was grinding her pussy over my cock so hard I worried I’d come from the friction alone. I needed to be inside her before that happened.
Lifting my shirt off, I wanted nothing more than to feel her beautiful baps pressed against my bare skin. Her eyes fell to my chest, and I loved the way she looked at me, like she wanted to devour me.
Unclasping her bra, I threw it across the room. Then I unbuttoned her trousers. I used my feet to slide them down before ripping her knickers off. They were drenched.
“You’re so wet,” I rasped. “I can’t wait to feel that beautiful pussy around my cock.”
I needed to get the condom on before I was tempted to slip inside her with nothing.
Reaching into my back pocket, I removed the condom packages before unbuckling my belt and tossing it aside. I took off my trousers and slid my underwear down. My cock bobbed forward, and the next thing I knew, I could feel her wet pussy over my throbbing shaft. I ripped the condom package open with my teeth.
I started rolling it over my cock, but Teagan finished the job, sliding her little fingers down my shaft. It was surreal to feel her touching me.
“I need you, Teagan.”
“Please,” she panted before straddling me.
Someone likes it on top.
Within seconds, I’d thrust deep inside of her, her pussy so hot and wet—welcoming. She leaned down to kiss me, and we remained attached at the mouth as I began to fuck her. I hadn’t meant to be so aggressive, but I couldn’t control my pace when it felt so good. And she didn’t seem to mind.
Someone wake me from this dream where Teagan is on top of me while I am balls deep inside of her. Then she broke the kiss, moving to an upright position. She began to ride me. Teagan is riding me. She rode me like there was no tomorrow while her beautiful, full tits bounced. I could’ve died in this moment and been perfectly fine.
She was completely uninhibited, the opposite of what I’d expected based on her lack of experience. I looked up at her as she thrust her hips, and it was almost impossible to keep myself from coming. By some miracle, I was able to control it.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, gazing up at her in awe. I fucking loved her in charge. It was probably, in fact, the best thing that had ever happened to me.
No, it was most definitely the best thing that had ever happened to me.
She sped up her movements, and I nearly lost it.
“Fuck, Teagan. Easy, baby.”
My hands went to each side of her, trying to slow the pace so I wouldn’t come before she did. Then the most incredible thing happened. Teagan’s eyes began to roll back at almost the same moment I could feel the muscles between her legs tighten around my cock. I could feel her orgasm on me. It was so intense that there was no question what was happening. And I simultaneously let myself go, coming so hard into the condom that I wondered whether the rubber could contain it all.
When Teagan collapsed on me, her breathing was erratic. We were both completely out of breath.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” she said against my neck.
I pulled her against me. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come, Teagan.”
“I’ve never come like that. It felt amazing.”
Hearing that absolutely thrilled me.
I squeezed her apple bottom possessively. “For someone who’s avoided sex, you definitely seem to know what you’re doing, love.”
“You’re the first person who’s ever made me want to let go like that.”
I cupped her face. “Thank you for trusting me enough to let go.”
After I carefully pulled out of her, I got up to discard the condom. I took a moment to stare at her beautiful naked body splayed out on the bed as she waited for me to return. Her long hair practically covered half of her. She looked like a piece of artwork displayed in the finest museum—gorgeously curvy, classy.
“You’re astonishingly beautiful naked.”
Her eyes wandered over my body, immediately making me hard again. “You’re so sexy, Caleb. I’ve always wanted you. I’ve dreamed about that body. I feel so high right now.”
And with that, my dick was officially ready again.
I crawled over to her and kissed her lips. “What now? Tell me what you want.”
“I want you again,” she said, blushing.
“This time I want you under me.” On all fours, I pinned her beneath me as I positioned my erection.
We fucked several more times in that hotel room. At one point I had to run to the concierge desk downstairs, which thankfully sold condoms. We ordered room service and talked all night—about our fears and dreams, mixed in with a little nonsense. I’d always felt close to Teagan, but now she’d infiltrated my soul in a way that was irreversible.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
* * *
TEAGAN
It was the worst possible time for him to message me.
Caleb: I want to eat your pussy again.
Caleb: I want to eat your pussy again.
Caleb: I want to eat your pussy again.
The texts wouldn’t stop coming. The awful part? I was in church with my parents and Shelley. It was Easter, the only time I ever went with them. Caleb’s phone was doing that thing where it sent the same text over and over, even though he’d only sent it once. Thank goodness I’d shielded the screen when I checked the first time. Given where I was, I felt like I should’ve ignited into flames or something.
After our night at the hotel in the city, Caleb and I had continued to have sex, albeit more quietly because of the need to sneak around in my room. It had been a couple of weeks now. We’d both decided it was better to enjoy the time we had left, rather than force ourselves away from each other. And we were addicted. I knew the chances of getting hurt were much higher this way, but I enjoyed him too much to stop. We enjoyed each other. It was the
happiest I’d ever been in my life.
Caleb would sneak into my bedroom almost every night and go back to his room before anyone woke in the morning. There was a chance we could get caught, but I wasn’t sure my parents would mind if they knew—better Caleb than someone they didn’t know and trust. It’s not like I wouldn’t be having sex if I were living in the dorms.
But this was a lot more than sex.
***
Caleb slowly pulled out of me.
The second I didn’t feel him anymore, a coldness came over me. I suddenly felt the past couple of weeks crashing down on us as we lay in my bed that night.
He must have seen that I was coming out of my haze. He pulled me toward him and whispered over my lips. “Talk to me, Teagan.”
Looking up into his eyes, I shook my head. “I just...I don’t know what we’re doing.”
He nodded, like this came as no surprise to him. “You’re starting to regret it.”
“Regret is not the right word.”
Caleb shook his head. “I knew this would happen. It wasn’t enough to stop us from being together, but I knew reality would set in. It was inevitable.”
“You have a little over a month left. I thought I could do this with you until the end, but I feel like I’m getting in too deep. It might be time to stop.”
He looked pained. “I don’t want to leave you, Teagan. I hope you realize that.”
“I know you don’t.” I considered a last-ditch proposal I knew I’d likely regret. It came out before I could change my mind about proposing it.
“There’s still no way you could stay, right?”
Caleb buried his face in the crook of my neck and spoke over my skin. “I want to…so badly. I just worry about my mother. I suppose I could drop out and find a way to get a work visa or something—or maybe try to enroll in another program somewhere else. I’m not entirely sure I can do that, or that I’d be able to make it happen in time, though.”
The fact that he was even considering staying filled me with what was likely false hope. “Do we have any other options?”
“I should have the answer, but I don’t,” he said.
“I just can’t imagine never seeing you again,” I cried.
“Sometimes I feel like I need to do something drastic so we don’t have to be apart, but…” His words trailed off.
My heart beat faster as I continued his statement for him. “But?”
“The more I think about it, the more unsure I am that…being with me would be the best decision for you right now.”
My stomach filled with dread. “The right decision for me?”
He placed his hand on my side and squeezed. “You’re so young, Teagan. We both are. What if we turn our lives upside down for each other only to find it was a mistake?”
What was I thinking?
I truly regretted proposing he stay. Caleb not going back to England was a fantasy. He had too much responsibility back home, and we both needed to finish school. That had always been clear to me. It had just gotten clouded by my growing feelings.
“This doesn’t have to be the end for us, Teagan. We need to take it one day at a time. Maybe you can take a trip to England, or I can come back and visit.”
Visit?
The thought of only seeing him for short visits sounded miserable. It was hard enough now when he merely came home late from the restaurant. I knew deep down I could never handle a long-distance relationship. I didn’t want to put that burden on either of us. This just sucked.
“If two people are meant to be, they find a way to be together,” he said. “Even if not immediately. But I don’t think it’s wise for either of us to make any promises.”
I felt my heart breaking. He didn’t seem confident that we’d ever work out. I knew I needed to make a mature decision before I got hurt.
“Maybe we need to tone this down right now, then.”
He swallowed. “You mean, stop sleeping together?”
“Everything.”
While he looked disappointed, Caleb nodded. “If you think that’s best.”
“It’s not what I want, Caleb. But we’re getting down to the wire now. If you know there’s no chance in hell of you sticking around, we should start weaning ourselves off of each other.”
“Fuck.” He turned to stare up at the ceiling. “That sounds painful. But I get it. I don’t ever want to hurt you, and I’m afraid I already have. So if I can avoid doing more damage, that’s what I need to do.”
I turned his face toward mine. “I don’t want you to think I will ever regret getting to experience everything with you. I absolutely won’t. It would have haunted me if we didn’t have this time together.”
“I needed to hear that.” He leaned in to kiss the nape of my neck. “This last month is going to be tough.”
“Let’s just take it day by day, okay? Try to get through it without hurting one another.”
His voice was strained. “I never want to hurt you.”
I forced a pathetic smile. “I know.”
Caleb’s brow lifted. “I assume this means I’m going up to my room.”
I nodded sadly. “Yes. I think it’s best if you do.”
Caleb stole one final, chaste kiss before lifting himself off the bed. Even though my heart was broken, I knew this was right.
After he left, I couldn’t sleep.
I was devastated.
***
Maura caught me in the kitchen after I went upstairs for breakfast the next morning. “You have a second?”
Opening the fridge, I said, “Sure. What’s up?”
“I was thinking of planning something for Caleb’s goodbye. Maybe a party or a dinner out? What do you think?”
I paused on my way to the carton of milk. Something about the word goodbye hit me hard. I knew he was leaving, of course, but hearing that actual word caused me to burst into tears.
I just wished it hadn’t happened in front of Maura. She was already on to me, and now there would be no denying what was going on.
I wiped my eyes. “Whatever.”
“Teagan, I know you’ve been sleeping with him.”
I closed my eyes and continued to wipe my face.
“I’ve heard him coming up from your room in the early morning when he thinks we’re asleep.”
Not sure why I felt like being candid all of a sudden. Maybe because there was no sense in denying something so obvious. But I also needed to let it out to someone.
“We’re not…doing that anymore. We decided to stop, so that neither of us gets hurt any more than we have to when he leaves.”
“You care about each other.” She smiled sympathetically. “I’ve always known that.”
“I do care about him. So much. But we’re trying to be mature. He has to go back to England. That’s the end of the story.”
She took a seat and gestured to the chair in front of her. As much as I didn’t really want to, I sat down.
“I know he doesn’t want to go back,” she said.
“He doesn’t, but that’s not going to change anything. He has to. Things are not great back home. His mother needs him, and he has reasons for feeling responsible.”
No way was I going to violate Caleb’s trust by telling her about his home life. But I wanted her to understand.
“I’ve always suspected there was something back home that wasn’t right.”
“Anyway, I don’t mean to blow off your idea about a going away party. I just don’t know if I can handle it.”
She stared down at the table. “Maybe Dad and I will take him out to a nice dinner. That way it can be low key, and you can decide if you want to come. No big goodbye party.”
There was that word again. Goodbye. It cut like a knife.
I nodded but doubted I’d be able to sit through any kind of event that celebrated his leaving.
“You know…” she said. “When I was around your age, before I met your dad, I had a boyfriend who had to move overseas for a jo
b. His name was Alvin.”
“Interesting name.”
“Yeah. He was an interesting guy, too.” She grinned. “Anyway, we tried to make it work, but eventually it just became too difficult. It was hard to lose him. I remember feeling like he’d chosen the job over me, and ultimately that resentment was what did us in.” She sighed. “He was my first love, so I can relate to what you must be feeling.”
I wanted to be irritated with Maura right now for prying, but her words had a calming effect. Her relationship with this guy had ended, and eventually she met my father, who I knew she was head-over-heels in love with. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world when a relationship ends.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.”
Still, I refused to open up any more. My feelings were so raw. I’d fallen in love with Caleb and couldn’t help feeling like his leaving was an abandonment, even though that wasn’t fair and I knew better.
***
Caleb: This staying away business is fucking hard. (And so am I.)
Caleb and I had been doing a great job distancing ourselves from each other. So I wasn’t sure how to respond to his random text without telling him how sad I was. I chose not to respond at all.
Then he texted again.
Caleb: I fucking miss you, Teagan. Don’t even respond, alright? I know this isn’t helping. But I’m feeling very weak right now, because I’m right upstairs and can’t see you, touch you, kiss you, be inside of you. So since I can’t do those things, here I am texting you. Which I HATE. Because I can’t stop thinking about you. If you take anything away from our time together, I want you to know this: You, Teagan Carroll, are the smartest, funniest, most unique person I have ever met. The weeks where we let go of our fears and allowed ourselves to experience each other to the fullest were the best weeks of my life. I want you to know how much it means that you gave yourself to me. I’m sorry I have to leave. You have no idea how much.
Just One Year Page 16