“Oh my God. It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“It’s good to hear yours, too. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” I put my hand over my heart. “Am I dreaming? Is it really you? I’ve been so worried.”
“You have?”
“Yes, of course. How could I not? You disappeared—except you didn’t. I knew you were okay, so I just figured you didn’t want to talk to me. But I still worried. I even called your house and—”
“You called my house?”
“Yes.”
“When?” His voice took on an edge.
“Several weeks ago.”
“What happened when you called?”
“Your father answered. He said you were away for the weekend.”
Caleb let out a long breath. “Fuck. I’m sorry. There’s so much I have to tell you, Teagan.”
My voice cracked. “Why didn’t you return my call to your cell? That was the reason I called your parents’ house.”
“I didn’t get your call, love.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. My phone was lost after a very drunken night. I never got it back. I never knew you called me, and my father never told me you called the house.” I could feel his frustration over the line. “Teagan, I’m so very sorry you were worried about me. Do you have some time to talk? I know your holiday party must be happening.”
It was laughable to think I would ditch this phone call for the party—or anything else in the world.
“Caleb, there’s nothing more important right now than talking to you. Please tell me what happened.”
“Alright.” He paused. “When I first got back to the UK, I was in a bad place. Not only was I missing you, but my father’s drinking was out of control. We fought constantly. I handled it by leaving the house, going out every night, getting plastered, and trying to forget what was happening at home.”
My stomach sank. “Oh no.”
“It was the worst possible thing I could’ve done, and so irresponsible.”
In silence, I let him continue.
“One of those nights, I came home and found my father getting physical with my mother. I lost it and intervened. The neighbors called the police, and my father accused me of assault. My mother refused to tell the police my father had been attacking her because she didn’t want him to go to jail. So she told them he and I had argued, that it was a family issue.”
“Shit.”
“Things only got worse after that. I couldn’t live under the same roof with him. I was a mess, and my own drinking got out of control, I’m ashamed to say. I ended up getting into a fight with someone at one of the clubs here. I was arrested and held for a few days until my mother could bail me out. That was the lowest point. I realized then that I needed help—not just for my drinking but for all the issues that led to it.”
“Wait. You were arrested?”
“Yeah. But instead of jail time for assault, I was sentenced to community service and a stint in rehab. I spent two months in a facility that not only treats substance abuse, but also its underlying issues. When you get there, they take your phone. I had just replaced the old one when they took the new one away. They don’t want you having outside distractions. And I deactivated my social media accounts to make it easier during that time. Everything happened so fast. I didn’t want you to worry, so I chose not to tell you any of what was happening. But I neglected to consider that you might notice my accounts missing. I didn’t know you were alarmed. I’m so sorry, Teagan.”
Holy shit. He was right that I would have been worried, but here I was thinking he’d been having the time of his life and had chosen not to contact me.
“Oh my God, Caleb. This explains everything. It all makes sense now. I thought you didn’t want any contact with me because you’d moved on. I saw a photo of you on Archie’s page. A girl was kissing you, and I just thought—”
“What? Fuck. Teagan, that meant nothing. That was just some girl at the pub. I don’t even know who she was. I swear, nothing happened. We were out, and she was hanging all over me. Archie must have snapped a picture. I was drunk, but not too drunk to realize where I was and what I was doing. I haven’t been with anyone sexually since you, never took things that far.”
He hasn’t slept with anyone?
It felt like I’d let out a breath I’d been holding since our conversation started. I could feel tears forming in my eyes—a mix of relief and utter sadness for all he’d been through.
“Wow.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice, Teagan.”
I wanted to jump through the phone. My skin crawled with an intense need to see him.
“You’re better now? The program helped?” I asked.
“I’m sober, yeah. And the therapists there did delve into my past a lot, my issues with my dad. I wouldn’t say I’m fixed, but talking about things with a professional on a regular basis has definitely helped. I still have work to do, though.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Anyway...my therapy is sort of related to the reason I’m calling.”
My heart raced. “Okay…”
“I needed to work on myself before I could begin to truly give myself to anyone. Part of why I didn’t fight harder for us before I left was because I didn’t feel like I deserved to be happy, or that I deserved you.” I heard him take a deep breath. “Are you happy, Teagan? Be honest. I know you’re with someone.”
With someone?
“I’m not…with anyone. What made you say that?”
“You’re not?”
“No.”
“But you were. I saw a photo online.”
“For a couple of months, yes. But I broke it off with him after I found your letter in the makeup drawer, and it reminded me that I should never settle. He was my boyfriend for a while, but we never had sex,” I added.
“Wow. I just assumed…” Caleb sighed. “So let me get this straight… The guy in the photos Kai posted from the campsite—you’re not with him anymore?”
“I broke up with him.”
“You’re single.”
“Yes.”
“Hang on a second.”
There was some fumbling, and then I heard Caleb yelling away from the phone. “Yes!” It seemed to echo. He did it again. “Fuck yes!”
“Oh my God. Did you just scream outside? I heard it echo.”
“Absobloodylutely, Teagan. If you had said you were happy with some other guy, I might not have told you what I am about to say. I might have kept it inside forever. And that might have killed me. But the truth is, now I can say it—and I have so much to say.”
I sniffled. “Say it, Caleb. Please, say it.”
“I’ve been staying away from contacting you because when I logged back into my accounts and saw you tagged in those photos, I believed you were happy. I didn’t want to disrupt your life, because that wouldn’t have been fair. So I stopped myself from calling you. But not reaching out to you has been slowly eating away at me. I asked the universe to give me a sign that I should bite the bullet. I never thought I’d get it, but I finally did.”
“What was it?”
“Well, I should back up a bit. My father moved out. It was a long time coming. He’s living with one of his brothers now, but that’s a story for another day. Anyway, I confessed to my mother recently how miserable I’d always been through the years at Christmas. This year, it’s just the two of us, and we decided to do something we’ve never done: take a drive to Nottingham and stay somewhere else, maybe get some takeaway and enjoy each other’s company away from home and all the bad memories there. I’m calling you now from Nottingham, actually.”
That made me smile. “Your mom is with you?”
“She’s upstairs in the room. I’m outside the hotel at the moment. I came out here to call you. Anyway, all day I’ve been thinking about last Christmas, how amazing it was to spend it with you and your family. All day I’ve wanted call you. But I s
till hesitated.”
“What finally made you do it?”
“My mother and I started looking at the hotel’s listing of nearby restaurants, and a lot of them weren’t even open tonight, but there was one Chinese place that was: Bo Cheng’s. Bo Fucking Cheng’s, Teagan! I swear.”
“Oh my God.” I laughed hysterically. “Oh my freaking God! How is that possible?”
“In that moment, I knew I’d received the sign I needed, and I had to call you, even if it meant disrupting your happiness. Because there’s so much I need to say.” He exhaled. “First off, I love you. I love you so much. I never said it because I was afraid, but I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
I closed my eyes and let that sink in. My voice cracked. “I love you, too.”
“Listen, I’m likely stuck here in England because of my arrest record. It’s now going to be very difficult to get a visa to come to the US. So, I have to ask you a question.”
“Okay…”
“Would you be willing to come here? Whether it’s after the school year, after you graduate, or just whenever you can—assuming I can’t get there—I don’t care. I’ll find a way to pay for your ticket.”
Emotions flooded through me, but I had no doubt about my answer.
“Yes! Yes, I will. Of course.”
“You mean that?”
“Yes. All you had to do was ask. I don’t even have to think about it. We’ll figure something out.”
We were going to be together again. And there it was: the best damn Christmas present I could have received.
***
Now that I knew Caleb wanted me in England, I couldn’t get there fast enough. The day after our phone call, I told Maura and Dad about everything Caleb had told me and my plans to travel to London at the end of the school year.
Then the following week, I went to the student services office to inquire about transferring for my last year to their partner university in London. I’d definitely have to finish my junior year here, but they said they’d look into it for me. Basically, it would be the opposite of what Caleb had done. If it wasn’t possible, I’d take time off or figure something else out. It didn’t matter, as long as we could be together. There was nothing I wanted more than to be with Caleb.
Caleb wanted to pay for me to get there, but he and his mother had depleted their funds paying for rehab. I didn’t want him to have to sell his soul for my ticket. Anyway, I needed not only travel money, but a means to stay in England. And I was determined to get both. As of now, I could stay in the UK for up to six months without any kind of special visa. We’d have to wing things beyond that. I had some savings, but that wouldn’t even cover the cost of my plane ticket. I’d started spending my free time researching work possibilities in the UK online.
Maura came to find me in my bedroom after I’d returned from school.
“Hey. I came for an update,” she said. “Did you have any luck in talking to Northern about transferring next year?”
“They said they needed to talk to some people at the university in England to see if it would be a possibility. So I have to wait.”
“Do you think you’ll go even if you can’t transfer?”
“Yes. I know that for a fact. I only have a year left, and I could always come back and finish later or figure something else out. I can’t last another year away from him now that I know he wants me there.”
“That’s very romantic.” Maura smiled. “And there’s something I’d like to give you, Teagan, to make this easier.”
I sat down next to her. “Okay…”
“I had planned to wait until you were a bit older, but I feel like this is the right time.”
Maura pulled a small box from her sweater pocket. “Before I show it to you, I should preface this by saying that I think your father was completely insane when he bought this. But everything works out for a reason.”
“What is it?”
Maura opened the box, revealing a large, square diamond that looked fit for a queen. It had smaller diamonds all around the center stone. It was breathtaking.
“Did my father buy that for you?”
She shook her head and chuckled. “No.”
“No?” My forehead crinkled in confusion.
“He bought it for Ariadne.”
My jaw dropped. “What?”
“Yeah. It was a last-ditch effort to get her to stay. She wore it for a while, but gave it back to him before she left. At least she had the decency to do that. To this day, I’m still shocked she didn’t keep it.”
My mouth dropped. “You want to give this to me? I’m not sure I can take this.”
“Oh, yes you can.” She looked down at the ring. “Listen, after your father and I were in love, he showed me this ring and told me we would sell it and pick out something else. At that time, we’d just gotten on our feet financially, so it didn’t make sense to spend that money on myself. Still, it also didn’t feel right to trade it for cash, either. So I asked him if it would be okay if I saved it—either for you or for a rainy day if the family ever needed it.”
“He was okay with that?”
“You know your dad. As long as I was happy… He let me hold it for safe keeping. I always knew in my heart I’d give it to you because it was the last thing Ariadne left you—the only thing she left. This ring never seemed like mine. In my mind, it was always yours.”
I stared at the sparkling diamond. “Wow.”
She smiled. “So, what I’d like you to do is sell it and use the money to pay for your ticket to England and living expenses for as long as the money lasts. A ring like this should represent love. In selling it, you’ll be able to be with the one you love and have money to support yourself for a while.”
So overcome with emotion, I could hardly speak. “Are you sure?”
“There’s nothing I have ever been more sure of.”
I took the diamond and held it in between my thumb and index finger. The overhead lights reflected into the stone. It was gorgeous. But it was so…gone. So freaking gone. I needed that money, and I wasn’t going to fight it. I’d owe Maura big time.
I wrapped my arms around her. “I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”
“No need. As I said, this has always been yours anyway. Knowing you’ll get to be with Caleb makes me so happy. That’s worth more than this ring could ever be.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
* * *
TEAGAN
Even though Caleb and I talked on the phone almost every day now, it wasn’t the same as getting to be with him. The remainder of the school year progressed slowly and painfully. What got us through was knowing each passing day brought us one step closer to being together. But it was finally over.
I hadn’t been able to get into an exchange program through Northern University, so I’d decided to take the next year off to figure out my life. That started with hopping on the first plane to the UK once classes ended.
“Can you take me in your suitcase?” Shelley asked.
It was two days before I was set to leave for England, and I had a long way to go with my packing.
I smiled. “You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I really wish I could.”
Sometimes you don’t appreciate something until you’re about to lose it. My sister and I had grown a lot closer over the past year. She’d come to my room to talk about boys she had crushes on. I’d helped her with her homework. Sometimes, she and I just chatted about random things. But we were part of each other’s lives. And now, after we’d finally found a groove, I was moving to England for at least six months.
“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Shelley tried to sneak something into my carry-on.
“What’s that you just put inside my bag?” I asked her.
“It was supposed to be a surprise.” She fished it out and handed it to me.
It was a silver bracelet that said sister and had two intertwined hearts on the charm. My heart swelled.
“Yo
u know, it should be me giving you a present, not the other way around. So often you’ve been a better sister than I have,” I told her. “I owe you a lot of lost time, and now I’m leaving.”
She hugged me. “It’s okay, Teagan. Just send me pictures and special candy we can’t get here or something.”
I squeezed her and chuckled. “That’s supposed to make up for years of being a crappy big sister?”
She shrugged. “Are you coming back?”
“I hope so. But I don’t know what life has in store right now. I’m just going to see what happens.”
***
My flight was a red eye, so it was approaching everyone’s bedtime when we got in the car to drive to the airport. My parents had been amazingly supportive, so it surprised me when my dad seemed nervous on the way.
“I can’t believe I’m supporting my daughter dropping out of college,” he said. “I must be nuts.”
Maura placed her hand on his knee as he drove. “No. You’re not nuts, just an old romantic.”
“I promise to finish school, Dad,” I said from the backseat. “I just need to do this right now.”
“You promise that if things aren’t going well there, you’ll come right back?” he asked.
“Yes. Of course. I’m not gonna stay anywhere I’m unhappy.”
I had no idea how things were going to go on Caleb’s turf. My parents provided a safe and loving environment with no stressors. In London, I’d be living with Caleb and his mother. I had no clue if she would like me; I’d only spoken to Poppy Yates briefly over the phone. There were so many unknowns. But this trip would make or break Caleb and me.
When we arrived at the airport, my parents and sister exited the car to bid me adieu at the drop-off platform.
“You give Caleb a big hug for us, okay?” Maura said, tears filling her eyes.
“I will. Thanks for everything, Mom. I love you.”
She squeezed me tightly. “I love you, too.”
Next my father took me into his arms. “Sweetheart, remember I’m just a phone call away. You get on the next plane home if you’re anything less than over the moon there. Okay?”
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