Make a Nerdy Living

by Alex Langley

  Often, though, you’ll get the much crummier offer to have your stuff reposted in exchange for the exposure you’ll get. This . . . is a bad deal. They’re going to make money off your work under the guise of helping you build your brand, and whatever exposure you’re going to get is likely going to be minuscule compared to what they’re going to get. Remember: These big channels are not your friends, they’re companies who want to make money. Don’t let yourself get screwed over in the interest of being polite or gaining exposure. Exposure bucks won’t keep the lights on.

  YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL OR WON’T TAKE OFF

  Sir Sean “Zardoz” Connery passed on both The Lord of the Rings and The Matrix because he didn’t enjoy or understand them and didn’t think they’d do well. When he got the chance to do The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, he didn’t understand it, either, so he jumped on it under the assumption it would be the hit that would make up for his past misses. It was not.

  Much like Sir Connery, you never know what will or won’t do well. There might be a video you pour your heart and soul into but that only gets a paltry number of hits, and there might be something stupid that you hate but you post it anyway and it’s what busts your channel wide open. Whether something is your big break or not is largely out of your control; the only thing you can control is what you’re putting out there (so make it really good).

  TOP EIGHT OMG REALLY GOOD WAYS TO GET VIDEO HITS YOU WON’T BELIEVE

  (#3 MADE US FEEL ALL THE FEELS IN OUR FEELGLANDS)

  1 All your video thumbnails should contain suggestive imagery, like a frame of a woman who looks like she’s undressing, or an image of a woman with a CENSORED bar across her breasts despite the fact she’s fully clothed.

  2 Make a stupid face in every thumbnail. A combination of JOY / AGONY / PRE-VOMIT is the best.

  3 Abuse keywords and hashtags even if it’s misleading. #BLESSED #LIFEHACK #ONEDIRECTIONNUDEPARKOUR #FREETACOS

  4 Hop on every trend and meme even if you hate and don’t understand them. You can find more about this by purchasing my GRUMPY CAT FIDGET SPINNER ONLY ‘90S KIDS NOSTALGIA DLC PACK.

  5 MAKE ALL TITLES IN ALL-CAPS ALL THE TIME AND IF YOU CAN BOLD IT, TOO, YOU SHOULD

  6 BUY ALL YOUR VIEWERS DESPITE IT BEING ILLEGAL AND POTENTIALLY GETTING YOUR CHANNEL BANNED.

  7 GET A DOUCHEY HAIRCUT.

  8 HAVE A DOUCHEY FACE.

  9 SEND ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

  THE TRICKLE OF THE TREASURE TROVE: WHAT TO DO ABOUT INCOME

  One of the most important things you can do for your channel is to figure out your finances early. When making a nerdy living, it takes a while to get money to trickle in. Once it does, however, you may find that your friends, who didn’t mind helping out for free, are suddenly going full Leprechaun 4: In Space and screaming at you about their pot o’ gold.

  You’ll need to not be selfish, yet also not let other people run all over you. Your friends and family are investing their time and effort into helping out. Even in the early days when you’re broke, show your appreciation for your helpers with the judicious application of pizza. When the money starts to arrive, have a talk with the team to get a feel for their expectations. If you’re working with someone whose thoughts and ideas are critical to your channel or project, someone who puts in the same time and energy as you, then, yeah, split those dang profits. For other helpers with lower levels of investment and effort, find out what other people in similar positions earn (if there are other people in your unique position, which there may not be) and pay them what feels right. Early on, it will probably be so small they won’t care about the money itself; they’ll simply appreciate that you’re not taking them for granted. Once things get really rolling and people are putting in more-or-less full-time efforts and you’re getting some real-ass money, pay your people.*

  TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO STREAM

  Though streaming and video-making are heavily interrelated, there are enough differences that not everyone who does one is going to want to do the other. Video editing gives creators time to carefully orchestrate their work; live-streaming rewards spur-of-the-moment thinking and provides a sense of immediacy and intimacy for an audience who is experiencing your content in more-or-less real time.

  Before getting into streaming, you’ll need to have some serious chops when it comes to scheduling out your life. A video can be filmed and constructed over the course of several days/weeks/months/years; a live-stream has to happen in a large block of time. Anyone who has tried to get a regular Dungeons & Dragons group together as an adult can attest to how difficult it is to get adults to commit specific blocks in their schedule.

  One reason many streamers try to do streams in huge chunks of time is because it helps increase accessibility for audience members in different parts of the world. Australian viewers may want to watch your American stream to listen in bewilderment as you say everything with hard Rs, or Americans may want to watch your Australian stream to try to decipher the roundabout wordplay of your ripper Australian slang. Trying to reach folks in different time zones is a great way to build an audience, so long as you don’t risk your health to do it.

  Live-streaming requires severe stamina from you, dear content creator, as you stream for hours on end. This physical demand can be dangerous, as the pressure to succeed can lead streamers to push themselves to deadly degrees. Brian “Poshybrid” Vigneault died in the middle of a twenty-four-hour stream due to complications related to streaming.16 Joe “Geekdomo” Marino nearly fell victim to a similar fate; like Vigneault, he began experiencing unusual body pains that were signs of a potentially deadly condition. Fortunately, Marino got medical intervention and changed his work and lifestyle habits before fatal damage could occur.17 Blood clots, heart failure, weight gain, and countless other medical maladies that arise from sitting still for too long are all plausible problems for live-streamers, not to mention that many streamers, in the battle to stay up and “on” for so many hours, will turn to drugs to keep their focus sharp.

  This is a career that doesn’t lend itself to healthful life choices. If you’re streaming alone for eight, twelve, sixteen, or twenty-four hours, you’ll be hard-pressed to find time to eat right, exercise, or even go to the bathroom. And, with live-streaming being as new as it is, the industry is very poorly regulated. To stay healthy and alive, it’s suggested you do the following:

  Exercise regularly and eat right. These tips apply to all humans, especially any humans with a sedentary job. When you’re streaming, squeeze in exercise where you can, even if it’s on camera. Force yourself to hop up and do jumping jacks every time you get a kill, or do push-ups if someone makes a donation to your stream. It’s okay to be a little bit of a dancing monkey, because dancing helps keep you alive.

  Get a cohost or an offscreen helper. No man is an island, no woman is a wo-island. Despite the additional scheduling difficulties having a cohost/helper brings, having help will make your life infinitely easier in the long run, as it allows you the freedom to take care of common needs like going to the bathroom, eating meals, capturing the screeching baby crawling on the walls and cursing you in demonic tongues, etc. Plus, having to be “on” all the time to perform for your audience will wear you out, so having a cohost will help keep the energy high in times when you need a break. If you don’t know any potential cohosts, at the very least you should try to have someone be your offscreen helper. Offscreen helpers aren’t going to do much when it comes to hosting duties. They can, however, get you food and water, keep an eye on your health, and maybe keep your stream entertained for a few minutes here and there while you hit the ol’ privy.*

  Plan ahead for long streams. If you’re going to stream for a long period of time, first see a doctor to make sure you’re physically up to the challenge. Plan your meals ahead of time so you can eat right while streaming, drink lots of water, and for goodness’ sake get some good sleep beforehand.

  Stream responsibly. If you begin feeling ill, stop streaming a
nd take care of yourself. No job is worth your life.

  Like any live show, live-streaming is highly vulnerable to technical issues. For example, let’s say you were supposed to have a young adult author on to talk about the inspirations for her latest book, but during the stream her AI assistant device wouldn’t stop screaming the search results for “Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction” and the author didn’t know how to turn it off, so the whole thing devolved into the two of you shouting over a robot voice babbling about Sonic the Hedgehog’s and Shadow the Hedgehog’s magical baby. Or, you know, maybe a mic isn’t working or something. Ask anyone who’s ever done a live show and they’ll tell you about the thousand-plus snafus that can and will occur. Having an assistant/cohost can help offset the dead air that would otherwise result from many of these oopsies, but not even the best cohost can stop ’em all, and you know what? That’s life. Don’t sweat it too hard if technical difficulties smack your channel in the face sometimes.

  Even if you do get the technical problems smoothed out and have a regular, healthy streaming schedule, it still may not lead to much income for a while. Making money from live-streams is trickier than from standard YouTube videos. Live-streams don’t have as many built-in options for making cash, so you’ll have to hustle that much harder for sponsorships, donations, and subscriptions from fans. Fortunately, Internet audiences seem to have an ever-growing understanding of the need for content creators to actually get paid for the content they’re making if it’s to continue, and so they have become increasingly receptive to throwing a few bucks toward their favorite stuff-makers.

  IT’S A TOUGH GIG . . . BUT THE TROUBLE’S WORTH IT

  Streaming isn’t all negatives; far from it. Many fans and creators love the feel of live-streams, as they’re intimate ways to interact with (hopefully) cool people online. There are tons of different options for streaming platforms, with Twitch, YouTube, and Facebook Live being a few of the bigger names out there, giving you the power to pick which platform fits your style and maximizes your reach.

  Live-streaming is pretty cheap. Since live-streams are, by their nature, live, viewers don’t expect a lot of ornamentation. You can get by with good sound, decent video, and maybe a picture-in-picture of you as you’re playing games/building things/performing music.

  Given the inherent difficulty of live-streaming, the medium isn’t as crowded . . . in part because the burnout rate for live-streaming is pretty high. Most people are only going to stream for a few weeks, tops, before realizing it’s not for them. In this field, your resiliency should pay off (more) quickly.

  It’s easy to transform live-streamed content to make more money off of it. Do a live-stream, edit that sucker into bite-size shape, and upload it to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Maybe even create a blog post to go along with each archived item to talk about the high points of the night’s events (a task made easier if you take small notes during the stream to remember when particularly funny, attention-worthy, or potentially meme-able* moments happen).

  Live-streaming is a gamer’s paradise. Whether you play games of the board or video variety, if you know how to put on a good show, then you may find yourself drawing in the eager viewers. Which isn’t to say non-gaming content can’t take off—Twitch’s “IRL” section dedicated to people streaming their “real life” activities proved to be quite popular when it launched—they’re just not as common. Regardless, stream what you want! If you know how to do something cool, stream yourself doing it and hang out with some virtually-connected people.

  WAYS TO GROW YOUR AUDIENCE AS A STREAMER

  Be interactive! Streaming audiences generally enjoy interactivity. They dig it when streamers thank them for donations and subscriptions, and they enjoy having a conversation about what’s going on. There’s a reason they are there, watching your live-stream, instead of watching pre-recorded video content—they’re there because your live-stream is live.

  Know what you want to get out of streaming. Are you looking to make friends, pass the time, or build a career? Given that you’re reading this book, you’re most likely to lean toward the third option. Regardless of your proclivity, figure it out before you get started.

  Figure out what your “thing” is. Do you want to be a streamer renowned for your knowledge of the popular-yet-arcane Warframe? A streamer known for playing stylishly even if it means losing like a complete goober sometimes? A streamer known for using an overlay to make you look like a sentient hamburger? Whatever your niche may be, carve that sucker out and smoosh yourself into it like it’s Amigara Fault and you’re a Junji Ito character.

  Listen to the people. When others give advice about what they think you could do differently, do better, or what challenges and activities they’d like to see you tackle, listen to them. They’re not always going to be right, but you would do well to take their thoughts into consideration.

  Be consistent. The Internet prefers regular entertainment more than it prefers good entertainment, so when you can’t do both, be consistent.

  Learn from your favorites. What do your favorite streamers do differently from you? What sets the top-tier streamers apart from the lower-tier streamers? Watch, listen, take notes, and apply what you’ve learned to your own performance.

  Follow games that are trending, but not crowded. It’s easy to see, at a glance, which games make for the most popular streaming, with regulars like League of Legends and Counterstrike hogging the top spots for years. Their popularity means more people are watching them, but it also means the field is quite crowded. When new games rise through the ranks, take advantage of their popularity while it lasts.

  Keep people coming back. Do giveaways, plan multi-part gaming sessions that work toward a massive goal, do whatever you need to do to keep people interested and returning.

  Monitor trends in naming. Whether streamers are naming their sessions with long, descriptive titles, pithier titles that lack information, enigmatic questions, or something else altogether, keep an eye on the trends so you can best adjust what you’re doing to draw in your audience.

  THE NEXT STEP: ONLINE VIDEOS

  So you’re past the brutal grind of the first few months of live-streaming and video posting. Now you’re making teensy-weensy, tiny steps toward building an audience. You feel comfortable on camera, you’ve got your schedule hammered out, and you’re managing to balance life and content creation so your heart isn’t on the verge of gumming up and exploding.

  Staying the course is a different beast than getting started; with that beast comes an entirely new set of claws, fangs, and fur. If you want to keep moving forward, you’ll need to know how to keep things the same while doing it all different.

  MIX IT UP

  If it’s working, stick to it. While you’re busy sticking to it, you should also branch out with smaller, experimental content that tries new things. This will help expand your audience reach while providing much-needed variety to keep you from getting burnt out. Try things that are related to your channel theme; if your channel is about your ongoing Dungeons & Dragons sessions, maybe post videos of you and your party playing some D&D-related video games, such as the Capcom beat-em-up Dungeons & Dragons: Shadows over Mystara.* If you review decades-old technology, take a visit to a technology museum and interview the curators. If you post videos of yourself wearing gimp costumes in a basement, dancing to mariachi music and singing Disney tunes in falsetto . . . maybe try not being a super-scary weirdo?

  Do holiday and event tie-ins, too. Yeah, they can feel gimmicky; still, if you’re having fun with it, your audience will, too, so who cares? Stream spooky games for October, explosive content around the Fourth of July, lovey-dovey stuff around Valentine’s Day (or hateful antiromantic stuff if you think Valentine’s Day sucks), and, naturally, anything nice and quiet for National Save Your Hearing Day.†

  As with any nerdy career, stay mindful of the trends and follow them as much as you can. Search engines and hashtags are regrettably influential things that
even the most powerful people in the world must bow down to.

  LET’S STICK TOGETHER, YEAH YEAH YEAH!

  The Internet is a social place, and there’s room for everyone. Doing guest spots on other people’s channels is a great way to broaden your reach, as is having others do guest spots on your streams. If you and your guest can be physically together, great. If not, hey, it’s the Internet, fool! The physical world is for the weak!

  GO TO VIDEO/STREAMER MEETUPS, MEET EXCITING PEOPLE IN THE FLESH*

  A quick Google search will reveal countless content creator meetups happening all over the globe. At these meetups you’ll encounter every type of creator: The bright-eyed newbie excited about their channel reaching a thousand total views. The burnt-out nineteen-year-old who has already been in the business too long to enjoy it, yet can’t bring themselves to quit. The iconoclast whose four million followers watch her weekly live-streams, where she builds robots and raps about history. And, of course, you, dear reader—the cool, smart, nerdy professional who wants to do what they love and have a lovely time doing it.

  Most video meetups try to retain the grassroots element, which helps make nerdy careers so enticing. Sure, there are professionals there, but they’re not (just) there for the love of money, they’re there for the love of what they do. Some meetups are slick, corporate affairs, with hashtagging, buzzword-obsessed business types running around trying desperately to prove they’re on your side so they can make money off you somehow. These more corporate events can be very useful, as not every corporate type is a bloodsucking fiend (though some of them will likely leave you feeling like you’ve been slimed). As nerdy careers become more mainstream, so, too, comes the money, and with the money come the suits. Be smart in your dealings with business-y people; they can be a good gateway to making serious cash, but they can also seriously pork you over.