Hawaiian Medic to Rescue His Heart

by Annie O'Neil

  It was one thing if Zach wanted to call their relationship quits, but there was no way she was letting Harry down the way his mother had. None.

  “When do you think I’ll be able to surf like you?” Harry asked.

  Her heart twisted into a knot. She ruffled his hair and said, “It took me years, little man.”

  It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the full truth. He’d never be as good as she was because of his disability. But why strip him of the joy of trying?

  A huge, overwhelming urge to burst into tears consumed her. Over the past few weeks it had been watching interchanges like this pass between father and son that had made her fall even more in love with Zach than she already was.

  His quiet, disciplined inner strength was one of the simplest and most beautiful joys to behold. He knew better than anyone that his son had limits, but he did his best to let him explore the outer reaches of those limits. It was a level of parenting bravery that there should be medals for. Heck—her brothers struggled with the fact that she did search and rescue to this day, despite her being at the top of her class in just about everything apart from size. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for Zach. Especially knowing Harry’s mother had lacked the strength to love her son as much as Zach did. Had rejected him even—rejected both of them. It genuinely did not compute.

  She pulled Harry in for a hug, loving the openness with which he wrapped his arms round her waist, gave her a huge squeeze and then, with the same happy, wild energy, ran over to his father to do the same to him.

  Her joy felt bittersweet when Zach gave a big “Oof...” as Harry careered into him, deftly shifting them both away from the grill with a gentle, “Easy there, H-man. Eyes on the prize.”

  She loved how Zach’s body language changed when he was with his son. The way he handed him the tongs to take over hot dog–turning duties, his arm sliding over his son’s slim shoulders. Protective, but not restrictive. She loved the way he called him “H-man” or “son” with the same level of pride an athlete might say they’d won a gold medal or a scientist a Nobel Prize. He thought his son was a wonder and his pride showed.

  He was the gentlest, most patient, greatest dad she’d ever met. And that was saying something. Because, even though they annoyed the living daylights out of her, her brothers already had pole positions in that department. Seeing them with their little kids... It was something else.

  Her smile faded a bit as her brothers crept into her consciousness. Would they be thinking the same things Casey was? That she lacked commitment and would leave Zach before he had a chance to leave her?

  She shot a glare in Casey’s direction, grateful that she’d been sidetracked by Stewart’s retelling of a recent sea rescue the pair of them had pulled off.

  What did she know?

  Lulu had introduced Zach to both Makoa and her grandmother. Which was huge. No one she’d ever dated had met her grandmother. Sure, they’d accidentally run into her at a shaved ice stand, but she hadn’t cut and run, or turned Zach and Harry around and walked the other way. She’d introduced them like the adult woman she was, only leaving out the part about how she was falling head over heels in love with the pair of them.

  All of which meant... Casey might be right.

  The table she was sitting on abruptly shifted, lurching her sideways, as if her brother had come and sat on the other side to send her off balance. She whirled round to tell him off, but no one was there.

  Her eyes shot to Zach, who was catching some hot dogs that were falling off the grill while holding up Harry with his other hand.

  All the conversations that had been light and cheery turned into a swift volley of, “Did you feel that?” Followed up by, “Was that an earthquake?”

  There were thousands of earthquakes a year in Hawaii, most of them low grade, but all worth paying attention to. This one hadn’t felt big enough to trigger a tsunami, but it was always important to check.

  All the locals began kicking into action. Getting Zach to put out the barbecue. Checking their phones for tsunami warnings. Discussing their designated safe spots at a higher elevation. Figuring out who had brought their first aid run kits in their cars.

  For the first time ever, Lulu felt completely paralyzed. Normally she would’ve been the first to leap into action, helping the most obvious candidate who needed it, who in this case was Harry. If there were aftershocks, he’d need someone to help talk him through it all. She’d be organizing people into cars. Checking her own phone.

  But she couldn’t move.

  Casey’s words were pounding against her brain like dead weights.

  Letting down a guy like that and a kid like that when you get tired of playing house... It’ll be tough.

  Lulu’s phone began vibrating. Then she heard Zach’s ring. And Casey’s. Phones rang one after the other—until she realized what they’d felt was an aftershock. Something big had already happened.

  She wouldn’t have a chance to clear out her brain or to talk her worries out with Zach. They were all going to work. And whatever it was that awaited them was going to push them all to the limit.

  * * *

  Zach listened intently to the voice on the end of the phone. His eyes snapped to Lulu’s as the information he was receiving sank in.

  One of her brothers was missing in a landslide. Duke. The stuntman. A movie company had been filming a chase scene on quad bikes for the blockbuster they were shooting. Duke and a stuntwoman had been riding up along some of the island’s steepest ridges and the clifftop they’d been riding on had given way. It wasn’t looking good.

  Lulu was also on the phone, presumably hearing the same news. She was staring at him. Hard.

  It was a strange look. One he couldn’t read. He wanted to kick himself for being cool with her all afternoon. If he’d learned anything from his divorce, it was that keeping feelings bottled up inside was no use to anyone.

  His instinct was to go to her. Pull her into his arms. Tell her he’d do everything in his power to make this bad situation right. But something about the way she was looking at him confirmed his fears rather than allayed them.

  She’d just found out her brother was in trouble. It was very possible he wouldn’t survive. And there was nothing that would send Lulu back to that dark place she’d only just crawled out of more than losing another family member.

  She hung up her phone and gave him a What gives? gesture.

  He pocketed his phone, his brain whirring with an extensive to-do list. Normally his body and his brain kicked into a familiar routine at moments like these. Sort out staff...equipment. Decide a course of action. He’d literally attended thousands of emergencies over his career. This one shouldn’t be any different.

  But his thoughts kept snagging on the one unfamiliar aspect of today’s emergency.

  It was personal.

  He braced himself. She wasn’t going to like the decision he had to make.

  He would work this one.

  She was getting benched.

  As if she had read his mind and wanted to make sure he knew she disagreed, she jogged over to him. “I’ll head over to the site now.”

  “No.” He shook his head. “You won’t. Not on this one.”

  “You need me.”

  “I need you safe.”

  “I work safe.”

  Against his better judgment he huffed out a humorless, solitary, “Ha.”

  She went still. Too still. Her eyes were glued to him with a laser-sharp focus that seared right through to his heart. She knew why he’d made the call, but she didn’t like it.

  Not. One. Bit.

  He was about to ask her to look after Harry, knowing she would definitely need something to do, but stopped himself short. Mixing personal and professional on a day like this was a very bad idea.

  He gestured to indicate that he’d be with h
er in a minute, then asked his parents if they could look after Harry for a bit—preferably at their condo, which was inland and on a slightly higher elevation. A tsunami wasn’t likely, but he’d hate to assure them that the beach house was safe. His dad agreed, as Zach had known he would, but his response was drowned out in a coughing fit.

  Zach helped him regain his breath as yet another weight lodged in his chest. Relying on them for childcare was something he was going to have to reassess. He’d leaned on them big-time when his marriage had fallen apart, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that his parents wouldn’t be around forever.

  His phone buzzed again. A pressing reminder that timing was critical.

  “So.” Lulu had her arms crossed over her chest. “Not even good enough to look after Harry anymore, am I?”

  “Lulu—” There was a note of warning in his voice even he didn’t like to hear. “This is for your safety.”

  “Is it?” she asked, and then, as she turned to walk away, she threw another question over her shoulder. “Or is it for yours?”

  Unexpectedly, she wheeled on him, and a blaze of energy hit him straight in the solar plexus.

  “You will not keep me from this rescue. That’s my brother we’re talking about.”

  “I know.” He hated himself for resorting to his Now, let’s be reasonable voice, but it was the first tool in his arsenal, so he grabbed it—because time was of the essence. The longer this played out, the less likely it was they’d find Duke. He held out his hands between them. “Lulu, you know that’s not how this works. Just like surgeons, rescue crews don’t go into delicate situations when it’s personal.”

  “They’re all personal,” she bit out.

  The words hit him like bullets. “Don’t you think I know that?” he demanded. “Why the hell do you think I do this?”

  “I don’t know, Zach.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “To lord it over other people? Show them how great you are? Be the big hero? It’s what you do, isn’t it? Show everyone that you’re Mr. Perfect?”

  Everything in him stilled. This wasn’t how she really felt. Couldn’t be. She’d been curled up in his arms this morning, all warm and cuddly, a smile on her sleeping face. When she’d woken and seen him there, his head beside hers on the pillow, her smile had doubled. She’d grinned, and whispered, “Wow. Dreams really do come true.”

  And now he was a self-aggrandizing hero?

  He wanted to shout at her. Shake some common sense back into her. Remind her that this wasn’t about her. Or her brother. Or trying to prove to the universe that she could’ve saved her parents if only her brothers hadn’t held her back from the sea.

  This was a bad thing that was happening. And it was his job to send in the best people to make it better.

  “This is the right thing to do, Lulu, and you know it.”

  She dug her heels in. “Don’t keep me off this job, Zach.”

  He did the same. She’d pissed him off and he felt emotion blaze up in him like flames. “You know I have to. It’s how this works. How the job works.”

  “Well, then, why don’t you take your job and shove it?” she spat back.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. I quit.”

  She shifted her weight to her other hip, her expression flickering between rage and something else. Shock at what had just come out of her mouth.

  “Lulu, you love this job.”

  “Not if you hog-tie me and won’t let me do it.”

  “What the hell...? Don’t be like this. You know it’s out of my hands.”

  “I know you’re the boss and what you say goes. And right now I don’t like what you’re saying.”

  She was out of line, and she knew it, but what scared him was that she didn’t seem to care. Her defiant expression shot him back to the first day they’d met, when his gut had told him one thing: This girl’s nothing but trouble.

  He was wishing like hell he’d listened to his gut.

  He’d known there’d be hurdles in their way when they crossed the line from professional to personal. But now they were tripping him up on a level he hadn’t seen coming. What if the same thing happened with Harry? What if she were to round on his boy the way she was now, fighting something she knew was the right decision?

  And just like that the slim thread that had been holding his heart in place snapped. He leaned into her. Close. Real close. So no one would hear but her. “I trusted you,” he said. “I trusted you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone since—”

  He stopped himself. He wasn’t going to give Lulu the satisfaction of hearing his voice crack. Screw that. If one by-the-book move was all it took to make her turn and run he and Harry didn’t need her in their lives. Not now. Not ever. Lesson learned.

  He pressed himself up to his full height, his voice more arctic than he’d ever heard it. “Have your resignation on my desk by the time I get back.”

  And then he turned and walked away.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  LULU SWERVED ROUND the corner toward the EMT headquarters, narrowly missing a camper van as it trundled past in the other direction. Her heart jackhammered against her rib cage. That had been close. Too close.

  An increasingly uncomfortable niggle wormed its way through to her conscience. Zach had been right to pull her off the job. She was too strung out, too frenetic, too frightened to work properly. But she couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

  She’d been too young to help when her mother had paddled out to sea, shortly followed by her father. Too inexperienced, ill-equipped, emotional. But they’d had to physically hold her down to keep her from throwing herself in and following them.

  “Needle in a haystack,” she’d heard one of the rescue guys say to another when the rescue boats had eventually returned, with no celebratory horn-honking to convey a success.

  Needle in a haystack.

  Today’s rescue wasn’t going to be that different. Mud was standing in for the ocean. With the same power to kill. To absorb a human—her brother—into the earth as if he hadn’t existed at all.

  She yanked her car into the EMT personnel parking lot, swearing under her breath when, once again, her lack of focus caused her to nearly end up bumper to bumper with an oncoming vehicle.

  She grabbed her uniform from the back seat of her Jeep and ran into the office. Chen, one of Duke’s high school football buddies, was on duty. When he glanced up from the call he’d just finished, he looked about as grim as she felt.

  Before she could utter a word, he put up his hands. “No.”

  “What do you mean, no?” she bridled. “I haven’t even asked you anything yet.”

  “Lulu. You’ve got a freaking uniform on your shoulder and a Send me into the deep end expression on your face. Not going to happen. They’ve got rescue crews in place and they’re doing everything they can.”

  “‘They’ don’t have me.”

  He mimicked her air quotes. “And ‘they’ are all highly qualified rescue staff.”

  “They’re not me.”

  “And they shouldn’t be. You know the rules.”

  She wanted to scream. Kick something. She closed her eyes, regrouped and forced her voice to remain steady when she opened them again. “I know when there’s a big accident it’s all hands on deck. No matter what’s going on.”

  It hadn’t just been Duke and the stuntwoman riding a quad bike who’d been involved in the accident. There’d been the film crew and their support teams, too. Not everyone would’ve taken the fall Duke had, but there were some twenty-odd people fighting for their lives in one way or another and she wanted to be there. Helping.

  “Not today, Lulu.” He stood up and crossed to her.

  She took a step back, needing to keep the space between them. He wasn’t threatening her. He was coming in for a hug. But she didn’t want it. Didn’t de
serve it.

  Zach had been right.

  She wasn’t any good to anyone right now, and he’d been between an enormous rock and an immovable hard place. The best, the kindest thing she could have done was to have accepted what he’d said and let him do his job.

  Even though it had been a good twenty minutes since she’d torn out of his driveway and down the coastal highway into Honolulu, she was still feeling Zach’s presence as if he was right there in front of her. She could almost smell him in her nostrils. Barbecue smoke, pineapple and little boy. She could feel him in her space, leaning in close, his face taut with disbelief and unspilled anger, barely speaking above a whisper as he’d breathed out his admonishment. I trusted you.

  She’d crossed the line. Gone way too far. Her age-old fears had roared up and superseded everything else. She’d crushed everything they’d been building into the ground as if it had never mattered at all. Which, of course, was the complete opposite of how she really felt.

  She loved him. She loved Harry. The huge vacuum their absence would create in her heart was an acute reminder that the only people she had ever been able to treat this recklessly and still expect to be loved were her family.

  But she’d just learned the hard way that you couldn’t be reckless with a fragile heart like Zach’s. It bordered on cruel.

  If the shoe had been on the other foot she would’ve grounded Zach, too. Would’ve kept him away from her kid. She probably would’ve given him something to do...something to make him feel useful...but sometimes—like that day she’d stood on the shore, waiting and waiting for her parents to return—the only thing you could do was pray.

  Her phone had been buzzing and pinging with messages from her brothers, but the truth was she’d been too frightened to look. Too terrified to hear the news if it was bad. Which—again—confirmed that Zach’s decision was the right one. She wasn’t in the right headspace to be dangling from a helicopter or clawing through a mudslide without compromising her own life and possibly the lives of others. Zach had been doing what he always did. Looking out for her.