by Cass Kim
“Is there even such a thing?” She stuck her tongue out at her brother.
“Did you ever see me freak Mom out the way you did?” He ripped the top off the box of dried soup ingredients in one smooth motion.
“Ugh. Like she even cares if I’m here or not.”
He sighed heavily, his back to her. “Not this again. Renna, she loves you, she’s just tired and she isn’t good at showing it. Now spit it out. I know there’s always some kind of drama at these things, and based on your make-up you either danced the entire night as a sweaty mess or you and Alyssa were right in the middle of it. And since you’re not much of a dancer…” he trailed off, turning back to her with his annoying brother grin in place.
She squinted her eyes at him, screwing her mouth up in a grimace. “How do you know I can’t dance?”
“Because I know you. And I know the types of girls that dance at parties.” He was the smooth unruffled artist and musician. Where Renna was serious and awkward, her brother had always been easy to talk to. It didn’t hurt that he looked like their mother, all bright blue eyes and sandy brown curls. He was the kind of boy that girls fawned over as he played bass and flashed his dimples, even when he wasn’t trying to get their attention. With a sigh, Renna gave in and began telling him the parts of the party she remembered. She never could resist telling her brother things. Even when they were younger and he used her information to get her in trouble. He was a good listener. And he’d totally take her side and curse out Jeremy, which would make her feel better.
After she’d told Benjamin the story of Jeremy acting all weird and possessive, he’d done exactly what she’d expected; he cursed out Jeremy and laughed at her vomiting story. There was something so comforting about knowing somebody well enough to predict exactly what they’d do and how they’d make you feel better. Once her stomach was full of warm chicken noodle soup and the painkillers dulled the throbbing in her head, she’d crawled upstairs and into her bed to catch up on the sleep she’d missed out on.
When Renna woke in the early afternoon, it was to the sound of acoustic music and a sultry voice drifting up the stairs. Diamond must have come over to practice the new acoustic set with Benjamin. Renna hugged a pillow to her chest and listened. Diamond and Benjamin had been playing together for ages. Usually they played a heavier set, with Diamond’s vocals belting above guitar riffs, the strength beyond impressive from her slim frame. This new sound was something entirely different. She listened as the guitar rose and peaked, then slid back down soft and intimate, with the accompanying voice oozing across the notes, warm and yearning. If she’d been born a few decades earlier, Renna had no doubt that Diamond would have been playing famous nightclubs and selling out stadiums.
With a sigh she stretched and slid out of the bed. She so needed to brush her teeth again. Grabbing her phone she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and splashed water on her face. She pulled on sweatpants and a plain tee before making her way downstairs. At the landing she paused, not wanting to interrupt the song. She checked her messages, and saw she had two new texts from Alyssa.
How are you feeling? The first read, followed an hour later by, Sorry I told Jammin where you were. You’re not mad, are you?
Renna tapped back, All good.
As usual, the typing bubbled appeared immediately. Alyssa must always have her phone on ringer. Phew! Can I come over? My parents are having a huge fucking fight and I can’t stand them. Alyssa’s parents fought and made up fiercely. It was part of how she got away with leaving the house so much – half the time they were so involved in each other that they forgot to keep an eye on their daughter.
Yep. Diamond’s here and they’re practicing.
Even better. Be there in fifteen.
Renna smirked to herself as she remembered the first time Alyssa had met Diamond. It was around two years ago, before the band had a lead guitar player. Benjamin would play bass and Diamond would half play guitar while she sang. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t as good as they were now with the other band members. Alyssa had snuck over, since her parents didn’t like her at Renna’s house, and they’d sat on the couch, eyes wide watching them play. This was during one of Alyssa’s repeated phases of being a little boy crazy, with Benjamin as the star of her rotating crushes. Alyssa had immediately disliked Diamond because it was clear how much Benjamin liked the older girl.
“Did you change your name to a stage name or is Diamond your real name? It seems like it could be your name, but maybe not.” Alyssa had asked Diamond immediately after being introduced.
Diamond had looked at Alyssa for a moment and then laughed, “Would you have asked me that question if I was white, Blondie?”
Alyssa had been immediately flustered, a rare sight that Renna had secretly loved. Their small town was not very diverse. “I…uh. No? Er. Maybe.”
Diamond had laughed again, “Chill, kid. It’s a stage name, I’m just playing with you. My real name is Desdemona. My Mom was super into Shakespeare when she had me.”
“But, didn’t she, like, get smothered by her husband?”
“Yeah, ain’t that some shit? Guess she figured there weren’t many Shakespeare women that didn’t end up dead. I’ma let you in on a little secret. You don’t ask people if anything about them is fake. Don’t ask if I have a weave, don’t ask if my eyes are really green. Just figure I’ll tell you if it’s your business.”
Alyssa had nodded sagely while Renna stared between the two. “Cool.” Then Diamond had reached out and fist bumped Alyssa before picking up the guitar again. Alyssa had loved her since that moment. She idolized Diamond and her confidence.
A throat clearing startled her from the memory, “Heard you had quite the night last night, lil sis.”
Renna’s smirk grew into a grin as Diamond swayed over and hugged her close. “It was a mess. I like the new song. It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks, girl. Something new. We can’t be driving all the way to Syracuse or Albany to do bigger shows that support the heavier sound all the time. Plus the other guys are working regular jobs more. They ain’t got the bug like Jammin and I do.”
There was a knock on the door, and Renna ran over to it, her socked feet gliding across the tiled floor. Alyssa stood with a duffle bag over her shoulder and sack of snack food in her other hand.
“It’s a bad one, I think it’s going to be a stay the night kind of night.”
“But you’re not allowed to stay the night here. Your parents have always been firm on that.” Renna eyed the sack of snacks, seeing the light blue corner of a bag of salt and vinegar chips.
“What they don’t know can’t hurt them. I’m almost eighteen anyhow.” Alyssa’s mouth was set in a firm line. “Trust me Rennoodle, they won’t even notice.”
“Is that my girl? Get your ass in here and show me what crazy outfit you have on today, Blondie.”
“Diamond!” Alyssa broke into a grin and pushed past Renna, leaving her to re-latch the copper door and bolt the regular door. Alyssa was striking poses and “modeling” her way across the living room while Benjamin scribbled in his song book and Diamond clapped for each new pose. It would be a good night, Renna could already tell. They didn’t need to go to parties to have fun. They had everything they needed right in this living room. Especially since Alyssa’d brought snacks.
The next morning Alyssa left as soon as the sun came up. Then Diamond and Benjamin told Renna they’d gotten a gig a few towns over, at a new place that was about an hour closer than Albany. Renna knew that was Benjamin’s way of letting her know that she’d be alone to deal with their Mom when she came home that afternoon. At least he wasn’t going to be gone the whole night like when they played the city.
When their mom got home she didn’t even speak to Renna. She just grabbed Tim Tam and marched straight through the house to the sliding door and carried the cat like a sack of fluff out to the garden, where she locked herself and the cat in and began to viciously pull weeds. Renna peered out
the window as her mother savagely yanked and tugged and dug, then chucked the weeds over the fence in large clumps. She chewed on her lower lip as Tim Tam batted at roots, slunk along logs, and then positioned himself in the same spot as he had the other day, his gaze deep into the forest. He didn’t seem as alert this time, just curious.
Knowing she would have to face her mother’s wrath eventually, Renna slid the copper slider back and stepped outside. She figured twenty minutes of vigorous weeding had probably dulled her mother’s temper. She studied the inward curve of her mother’s shoulders. The white streaks threading through her sandy hair, almost able to be mistaken for blonde highlights. As she approached, her mother turned her face into the sunlight. The fine lines and wrinkles were a clear map of how hard her life had turned out to be.
“Renna, I can’t even talk to you right now. I’m too angry.” Renna was surprised to see tears floating in her mother’s eyes.
“But Mom, I-“
“No Renna. I want you to sit here, in your father’s garden, and think. Think about how it must have felt for me, not knowing where you were. Not getting an answer on your phone. Do you know how I felt? What I was thinking?” Her mother’s voice broke and she turned from her again, shoulders shaking.
Renna stood helpless. She wanted to comfort her mother, but she didn’t think she would welcome it. There had been a time, when she was young, that she had felt safe and warm just being near her mother; being near either of her parents. But that was before. She had two mothers. The mother from before her father’s death and the mother she would forever have after.
Renna had been five, and Benjamin seven when the change happened. They probably should have referred to it as an outbreak or something more accurate, but everybody just called it the change. Before the change, parents went out on dates and left kids home alone with baby sitters. Kids played hide and seek outside, and stayed up late to catch fireflies. Houses weren’t locked tightly and bound up in copper.
They never reported exactly where or how the virus got loose. News stories started in several major cities at one time. Out of nowhere, several people in multiple areas of the world started attacking anything and everything around them. Renna remembered her mother quickly ushering her and Benjamin from the room when the news stories came on. She remembered the jerking movements. The blood.
There was panic as people cleared store shelves of canned goods and water and filled up gas tanks. She heard the echo of her parents arguing over the best course of action. Her memory played back the final decision her father had made: that they would stay and see what happened. After the initial outbreaks, things were quieter for a few weeks. Then more people started changing. There was no cure for the disease and over a decade later, there still wasn't a vaccine.
Initially, they had tried holding the infected that they could capture. But, people in hospitals were killed or infected trying to keep them alive. The policy became to shoot on sight. The infection spread, but it spread slowly, in waves. Children started going back to school. News reports, teachers, cell phone alerts, every possible way of reaching the public urged them to report. Report any signs of infection.
Renna, at age six, had learned to recite the symptoms by heart. Sweating. Fever over 104.0. Mood swings. Rigid posture. Foaming of the mouth. The pupils of the eye turned reflective and copper colored. If those symptoms were present, it was too late. It was too late the second you were infected, really. However, if you saw those symptoms, you were legally required to call emergency services. You should seek a barrier between you and that person. Something strong. Something metal. They knew that the changed avoided three things. Metals with high conductivity, high concentrations of electricity, and sunlight. Some militia groups had assumed that because of the aversion to electricity, tasers would be an ideal weapon. They found out the hard way that all it did was enrage them further.
The changed were inhumanly strong, inhumanly fast, and seemed impervious to pain. You could shoot them in the body and they would keep coming. If they didn’t die from a head shot, or bleeding out, the early captive ones died from heart attacks in the hospitals. The virus had a one hundred percent fatality rate. It wasn’t like the zombie movies where people were bitten and changed immediately. It was a bloodborne pathogen. Public places stopped carrying AED machines, and started stocking latex gloves on the walls. Just in case. People started calling the changed “Wilders” because they weren’t like humans anymore. They were wild animals, with no reasoning ability left.
The terrifying part was that it didn’t take much blood to be infected. It could be a papercut worth. Or the amount on the tip of a needle. And it had an incubation period that varied. Some people took days to show symptoms, while some took weeks. But from what was known, you were always contagious within hours of infection. There were rumors that some strains took only hours, even just minutes to manifest symptoms and turn the infected into a Wilder.
They never knew how long her father had been infected before his symptoms showed. Everybody else in the family tested clean after. Nobody even knew if he himself had known. Nobody except Renna. Renna, who as a seven year old, was home alone with him when the symptoms started to manifest. She knew that he’d suspected. A few days before he had drilled her with response techniques. That’s what they called that class at school. Guess it sounded better than “How to Avoid Getting Your Throat Ripped Out By Your Friends or Family”. He had her hide the spare car keys for each car in the house, and made her swear not to tell him where they were. He must have known.
Renna was seven years old when her mother was at work and her brother was at their friend Johnny’s birthday party. When her father began sweating and jerking, being pulled rigid by tense muscles. She did exactly what she had been taught. She grabbed the hidden car keys and the emergency cell phone, and she ran to the car. She locked herself in. She called her mother crying. She was told to stay still and to stay quiet. She hid under the blanket in the back seat and ignored the repeated return calls from her mother. She called emergency services, as she had been drilled over and over. Renna screamed as the car rocked back and forth with the force of her Wilder father slamming into it relentlessly, scrabbling at the handles, pounding his fists bloody against the windows that showed spidery cracks from the strain. She was seven years old when she stared out from the blanket and watched the bullets from the policemen she’d called burst through her father’s torso until he was finally dead. Renna was seven years old when her stunned and panicked mother arrived, Benjamin in tow. When her mother, hugging Benjamin to her, had turned away from Renna as she crawled out of the back of the bloody and ruined family car.
Renna stared at her mother’s back now, still turned to her years later. She thought about the missed calls that day in the car. The missed calls two nights ago at the party. She felt sick to her stomach all over again. She reached a shaking hand over to her mother, intending to comfort her. To try to bridge a gap a decade in the making. But just as she brushed her palm on her mother’s shaking shoulder, Tim Tam began growling low in his throat.
Both women froze, then whipped their heads toward the cat, crouched at the edge of the fence again, with fur puffed threateningly.
“Renna,” her mother said hoarsely, “go to the house. I’m right behind you.”
“But Mom,” she whispered, “what about T?”
“He’s a cat, Renna. We’re humans.”
“But-“
“For once in your life just do what I tell you to, damnit.”
Renna jerked as if slapped. She was the rule follower. Since that day when she was seven, this party was the only time she had broken a single rule. And it hadn’t earned her, her mother’s love back. What was the point?
“No, mother. You go. I’m grabbing him.” Renna’s eyes remained trained on the woods as something red flashed between pines a few rows back. She blinked twice, staring hard. Was that real, or just adrenaline?
Then, as quickly as the tension rose, it fell f
lat. The mail man’s car crunched on the gravel in the drive, and Tim Tam shook off his posture, prancing over to Renna as if nothing had happened. Maybe it had only been a cardinal.
Her mother gripped her arm painfully above the elbow and dragged her bodily through the door of the fence, with Tim Tam following merrily in their footsteps.
“You, young lady, are grounded. No more fun times with Miss ‘I ignore my parents’ Alyssa. No going to your brother’s shows. You will have no life outside this house except for school. No friends over, no Renna out. Are we clear?”
“Yes, Mother.” Renna jerked her elbow out of her mother’s pinching grip and ran up the stairs. In her room she slid the window sash up and peered out into the backyard, listening intently. She was sure she’d seen something in the woods. Something bigger than a cardinal.
Chapter 4
Renna stayed upstairs until well after her mother left for work. Once she’d heard the door shut and the car start, she closed the window and abandoned her post, taking a short nap. She’d stared for over two hours and seen no other indications that there was anything out in the woods. It was getting near sunset when Renna woke. Surely Benjamin would be home within the hour. Maybe he was picking up something for dinner on his way home. Sometimes he’d use his half of the gig tips to bring them something hot, greasy, and way better than either of them could cook.
Anticipating his arrival, Renna settled in to watch some TV. Her favorite old movie had been on two nights ago, and she’d recorded it on the DVR. That seemed like a perfect way to pass the time. When she clicked the TV on, the red alert banner was scrolling and the warning alarm was blaring. She felt the skin on her arms prickle. Before even reading, she knew this wasn’t going to be a weather alert. Why hadn’t her phone gone off? Thumbing the screen she realized she’d let the battery run out. Her stomach dropped.
Tossing the useless hunk of metal and plastic aside she gripped the remote, white knuckled, flicking to a channel with live coverage. The anchor stood in front of a bar, with the words, “Unprecedented Wilder Attack in Amsterdam, NY” in blue and white text beneath.