by Tijan
He came back out, his eyes meeting mine, and a genuine smile appeared. He liked me. I could see it in his eyes, but that was known. He’d told me that. Sam had told me that. Even Claire had mentioned it, but this was Logan Sex Machine Kade.
“He’s all about sex, fighting, and having his brother’s back.” Jason’s words filtered through my haze. He’d warned me about Logan. Hell, I’d warned myself, but it was too late now. This must be about Eric, I reasoned. Logan brought up emotions in me that were really about Eric. But even so, as Logan came toward me, I felt a flutter in my stomach.
I was falling for Logan Sex Machine Kade.
“You okay?” He frowned, his eyes on mine as he reached for the front door. “You look a little pale.”
I caught movement in the kitchen from the corner of my eye. I knew it was Sam. I could almost feel her judgment—or worse, her pity. I didn’t look. I didn’t want to see that look. I’d dealt with enough of those looks in the last nine months, so I nodded to Logan and said, “I’m fine.” And before anything else could happen, I stepped outside and hurried to his car.
Logan stopped once on the drive. He bought coffee for both of us, and it still seemed like the trip to my car went way too fast. He pulled up next to it and left the engine running. I glanced over as I undid my seatbelt. Last night had been…I was assaulted by images of us in bed, my legs around his waist as he went deep into me.
I let out a small cough. “Well, that was—”
Logan laughed, his head falling back to rest against his seat. “Save your words, Bruce. You and me, we’re going Night 2.0 in a few.”
My hand let go of the seatbelt. My heart moved up into my throat at that promise.
He leaned over, his body brushing against mine as he opened the door for me. Before he moved back, his head turned and planted a kiss on my lips. It was quick, but firm and authoritative. “Stop thinking about it,” he whispered, his lips still on mine. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
His words pounded through me. Feeling dazed by everything, I nodded, my lips brushing over his. “Just fun,” I whispered.
His eyes darkened. “Hell, yeah.”
Yeah. Fun. That was what it was, but his words still lodged in me. He wasn’t ready to let me go, and I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet either. Still, I pressed my lips to his and slid from the car. My knees were unsteady as I shut the door and turned toward my vehicle. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw that Logan was waiting for me. Once I started the engine, he lifted his hand in a wave and drove off.
I slumped forward, resting my forehead on the steering wheel. Good God. Logan Kade was going to be the death of me.
But you’re alive, a voice that sounded a lot like my mother’s said in my head.
I took a deep breath, feeling my pulse thumping and tingling sensations sizzling all through me. The voice was right. No matter the ending, Logan Kade would be worth it.
I was alive.
I was nervous when I met Claire for lunch. I hadn’t been a virgin yesterday, but I was different now. There was an extra glow to my face. I was the one wearing it, but even I could see it. I could practically feel my eyes sparkling, but she didn’t seem to notice. I was relieved, then bored as I sat back and spent an entire hour hearing about Ben. Apparently, Claire had been right, and Malia did have a thing for him too. Anytime he and Claire had been alone on the patio, she kept intruding. She was drunk, and all she could do was hang all over him. That had pissed Claire off, but the end of the night made up for everything.
He kissed her. Again.
And it hadn’t stopped there. They had a full make-out session when he walked her to her apartment door—even though Malia and another guy were waiting in the car. After a little while, Ben had said screw it. He’d gone inside the apartment with her and texted their friends to leave without him. He stayed the night, and today Claire was falling all over herself, giddy and giggling.
I couldn’t remember her this happy since…was it high school? Since… I could feel the glow drain from my face. Since before my mother died and Eric left. Claire started to describe Ben’s girth, and I focused on numbing the feeling away. Only it wouldn’t go.
Logan.
I remembered how his hand had skimmed up my back. I remembered how his lips had grazed over mine, how he’d cupped the side of my face as he slid inside. I remembered arching my back, feeling his lips trail down my throat. I remembered the way he’d held me through the night, how he’d cradled my face to his chest and brushed his fingers through my hair, rubbing the back of my neck.
I remembered how he’d called himself Logan Sex Machine Kade this morning.
“What’s funny?”
“Huh?”
I looked up. Claire had stopped talking and the corners of her lips were pinched; she looked in pain. She pointed at me with a fork. “You were smiling.”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat. “Just hearing you talk about Ben, it—uh—reminded me of high school. I was thinking about the last time I saw you this happy.”
Her frown disappeared. She seemed to melt, her shoulders relaxing dramatically. “Oh, Taylor.” She blinked and pressed a hand to her chest. “You’re right. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I mean, last year was—” She froze. She reached for her glass of water, but even her eyes stopped. They were trained on a spot on the table.
I didn’t want the mood to shift, so I asked, “Does Jason know Ben?”
That launched her on a whole other discussion. When they should meet? But, wait, she didn’t know if there was even a reason for Jason to be introduced. Were they a couple or not? She didn’t know, and over the next half hour, Claire questioned every comment Ben had ever made. When we finished lunch, she was still glowing, but the light had dimmed a little bit, and an anxious look formed in her eyes. She gripped her phone tightly as we walked out of the campus café together. I was about to ask her about her weekend plans when she threw a distracted “see you later” over her shoulder to me and headed off.
Well. Okay, then.
#LOGANSDICK
LOGAN
Last night was the best sex I’d ever had, and we continued to have great sex the next night, and the night after. The week after. The week after that, too. In fact, we had great sex for an entire fucking month, and I was in a glorious mood. The only thing not glorious had been my time spent away from the family. I’d been selfish, keeping Taylor to myself. We did the parties, but we spent a lot of those nights in either my bedroom or hers, and standing in front of the refrigerator, I couldn’t stop thinking about the upcoming weekend. Mason’s game was away and we were going to road trip to it, and by ‘we’, I meant the family. I owed them that time, but there’d been no mention of Taylor coming along. I knew that hadn’t happened by accident.
I wanted her to come. Shit. I think I was starting to need her to come, but then Sam snuffed that idea out.
“You’re going to hurt her,” she said, coming to stand behind me.
I was reaching for the juice, but I stopped and straightened up. She was in the kitchen doorway. Her eyes were troubled, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
I shook my head, letting the fridge door shut. “Don’t, Sam.”
“I didn’t like Kris in the beginning, and I know you really cared for her…” She trailed off, frowning, and looking at the floor.
I cared, but I hadn’t loved Kris. That was where Sam was going. I knew she’d started to care about Kris at the end. Was that what this was about? Sam didn’t want to start liking another girl and hurt for her when things ended with me? I propped a shoulder against the wall by the fridge and folded my arms over my chest as well. “Where are you coming from with this?”
She shook her head, but didn’t look up. “I don’t know,” she murmured. She uncrossed her arms, and her hands clasped together at her waist. “I like Taylor.”
“So do I.”
Sam looked up. I saw the surprise. This would’ve been the perfect time for a smart-a
ss remark, but this was serious. I narrowed my eyes. “I didn’t get the feeling you really liked her the first night.”
“That’s not true. I just—” She bit her lip and looked away.
“Sam.” I waited till her eyes met mine, and then waited another beat. I didn’t want her to look away. “You’ve never warned me off of a girl before.”
“You’re going to hurt her,” she repeated.
I frowned. Sam looked away again, and I got the sense she wasn’t talking about Taylor at all. “Okay. Well… Noted.” I kept frowning at her, but she was lost in her thoughts. “I disagree, and I’m still going to hang out with her.”
She let out a breath. “Don’t invite her this weekend, okay?”
I shook my head. “What the hell? You’re not like this.”
“I know. I just—it’s too soon. If you don’t want to fuck things up, like you say, go slow. You’re just sleeping together, right?” Her eyes met mine again, finally.
My head jerked back. I hadn’t been prepared for the haunted expression on her face. What was going on with her? I gentled my voice. “You okay, Sam?”
She nodded. “Yeah.” Her voice was equally soft. “I just...don’t want to see her hurt. That’s all.”
Bullshit. I wanted to say that, to interrogate her, but I held back. She wasn’t talking about Taylor. “You’re not talking about Taylor at all, are you?”
There it was. I put it out there. We’d been through too much shit not to be honest. I waited, and got my answer when she hung her head. I was right. I murmured softly, “She’s not going to hurt me, Sam.”
“That’s what you say now.” She shook her head, grimacing. “You’re the glue of us. Did you know that?”
I smirked. “When am I not the glue?”
“No. I mean it.” The haunted look was back. She didn’t even hide it now. “Things have changed even since I joined the group, but the glue’s not Mason. Not anymore. It’s you. Mason doesn’t seem to care. I think he likes Taylor, but I know Nate and I are worried. And we…just…we don’t want you hurt. That’s all.”
“I’m good, Strattan.” I winked for good measure. “I’m always good. You know that.”
Her shoulders lifted up in a slow and deep breath. “Yeah, well.” She bit down on her lip before looking away again. “You’re like me, Logan.”
“What do you mean?”
“You grew up being hurt, just like me.”
I felt her words in my gut, and I didn’t like it. I frowned. “Well—” A flippant remark was on my tongue, but she shook her head, saying over me, “Don’t. Okay? Mason got to see his parents happy at some point. I know you didn’t. Neither did I, and if I did, I can’t remember it anymore. I know that kind of hurt goes deep, tunnels inside of you like a cancer. You mask it, just like I did.”
Fuck. She went deep, but sorry, Sam. I wasn’t going to go there. Not yet, anyway. I changed the subject, trying for a smile, “You haven’t been running as much lately.”
A wry laugh came from her throat. She looked away again, then nodded to herself before finding my gaze once more. “Surprising, huh?” I relaxed. She was going with the topic change. She was a sister to me, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to go there with anyone. I hadn’t, except Mason. Then she was saying, “Considering my mom’s been back all summer.”
“Well, since you brought her up, yeah.” My lip twitched up. What a fucking psycho.
Sam’s mom, Analise, came back into our lives last Christmas, but Sam had stayed away from her. She’d refused to go home for holidays, and when summer break arrived, Sam spent a month at her dad’s house. She’d been back here, staying at the house with Mason, once he started early training. He told me Analise had been calling Sam more lately, pushing to spend time with her, so I had a feeling the old days when Sam would run for hours would be happening again, and soon.
“You know...” Sam gave me a forced smile. The corners of her mouth lifted, but it didn’t extend to her eyes. They still looked dead. “Never mind about what I said before. I love you, but you know what you’re doing.”
“You sure?”
She nodded, turning back to the hallway. Her head lowered, and her voice trailed off. “Yeah…” She looked over her shoulder one last time before going back to her bedroom. “Fuck her brains out.”
I smirked. “That’s the plan. As often as I can.”
TAYLOR
I’d been staying mostly at Logan’s house over the last month. I hated to say it, but most everything and everyone went to the backburner. It wasn’t that I wanted to do that. It just happened. Jason was busy with friends. So was Claire. I saw them every now and then, and Claire for lunch a few times a week, but that was it. Logan was the same. We saw Nate at parties, sometimes going with him, but we always left on our own earlier. And for whatever reason, we hadn’t crossed paths with Logan’s brother and Sam that often. There’d been a few times, but nothing where we spent a lot of quality time together.
Last night had been one of those times, and like the other mornings, I headed to class before Logan without a plan for the weekend. I overheard other students talking about the away game. They hadn’t had one yet, which wasn’t normal. People were excited, planning on road tripping for the event. I wondered if Logan was going to go, and what that meant about us, but I got my answer later.
Hey! Sex Machine here. How’s your day? Can we meet up Sunday night? We’re going to the game this weekend so we won’t be around.
We. He said we. My grin faltered. What did that mean? We.
Not me, as in he wouldn’t be around, but we, as in he and others, like they were all going to hang out together, like they were friends. Hearing my own thoughts, I rolled my eyes. I was being an idiot. I replied, Sounds good. Have a fun weekend!
Sweet. Talk to you later, Bruce.
I sighed and scooted lower on the couch. I had to ask myself the same question again: What the hell was I doing? I typed back, Will do. See you Sunday.
Figuring the conversation was done, I started to put my phone back on the table, but it buzzed again.
You’re probably going to get drunk text messages from me. Be prepared.
My grin returned. They better be good.
Only dick pics.
I laughed out loud. Promise?
I can send you one right now.
If you do, I can’t promise what I’ll do with it.
I suggest banners, maybe even fliers. Everyone should know it by sight. ;)
I typed back: It should have its own fan group.
#Logansdick I’ll get Nate to be the admin for it.
We kept going back and forth, and it was late when we finally stopped, and my sides hurt from laughing, and my cheeks hurt from smiling.
And they didn’t really hurt, not at all.
Logan texted a few times during the next day. Cain won, he wanted to share with me. The rest were jokes throughout the day. I was drifting off to sleep when my phone lit up. When I saw the first text, I laid back, already smiling.
If I weren’t in a hotel with Nate, three hours away, this would be a booty text.
I typed back, Are you drunk?
Yes. If I weren’t, I’d probably be driving to your house instead.
That’d be good with me. My dad’s gone tonight.
Shit. Because of the game, right? Fuck. See? I should’ve asked you to come after all.
I paused. He had thought about asking me? I sat there surprised for a moment. That’s okay. I needed to get a lot of stuff done. I applied at Pete’s Pub after all.
You did? Did you get the job?
Trained tonight already.
Fuck yeah! Wait. Are you a server?
A bartender.
Even better. Shit, I gotta go. Nate’s going to take my phone away. I’ll call you tomorrow.
I typed out a goodnight and left the phone on the nightstand.