The Letter

by Emma Crawley

  We lapsed into silence. My teeth chattered as the chill set in. The girl pressed against me and rubbed my arms again, heedless of how much she was ruining her expensive gown. The man who had rescued me broke away from the physician and came toward me. I blinked as I took in his features. Surely I should be able to see his real face now. Why did he continue to appear as Mr Darcy?

  “How are you, Miss Bennet?” he asked in a gentle voice. “I am sure you must be rather shocked. We shall take you home to your relatives at once.”

  I stared at him in bewilderment, expecting Mr Darcy’s features to fade away so I might finally see the face of my rescuer. But no matter how much I stared, he was still Mr Darcy.

  He frowned and exchanged a worried look with my new friend.

  “Miss Bennet, do you not recognise me? Surely you know me?” He examined me closely, then turned around. “Where is that damned physician? He must have missed a head injury.”

  15

  No, I did not see things. It really was Mr Darcy. Before he could strike out in agitation, I grasped his arm to prevent him from striding away. He stopped at once.

  “Mr Darcy. Forgive me. I thought I imagined things. I did not think it could be you,” I said, painfully aware of how ridiculous I sounded.

  Mr Darcy’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Then you do know me?”

  “Considering the service you have just rendered me, it would be churlish of me to deny the acquaintance,” I said. His face broke into a smile, a sincere smile larger than any I had ever seen on him. Something about my pertness pleased him greatly.

  “Now I know you are in good health,” he said. “Come, we shall take you home at once. I did not rescue you so that you could grow ill from wearing wet clothing.”

  “We?”

  “My sister and I.” He gestured toward the young lady who still kept one of her arms wrapped around me, generously lending me her body heat.

  “Your sister…” I looked at the young lady in astonishment. She returned my look with a shy smile.

  “Miss Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the honour of allowing me to present to you my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy?”

  “How do you do, Miss Darcy,” I murmured.

  “I am well, Miss Bennet. I hope you are likewise.”

  We looked at one another; me soaking wet with mud and weeds in my hair, Miss Darcy looking every inch the elegant lady apart from the blemishes of mud and river water on her gown and we burst out laughing at our formality.

  “This is certainly a memorable way to make an acquaintance,” I said. “Why are you here? This is not a place I would expect to find Mr Darcy of Pemberley.”

  “It is also not a place I would expect to find Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn,” said Mr Darcy. “Yet here we are.”

  “My brother and I were saying farewell to our cousin, Miss Bennet,” said Miss Darcy. “Colonel…”

  “Fitzwilliam,” I finished. I recalled the soldiers I had seen before I fell into the river.

  “He will be exceedingly glad when he learns how our eagerness to see him off led us to be in the perfect position to help you,” said Mr Darcy. “Come, I really must insist we take you home at once.”

  “What about you?” I asked. “You will be in wet clothes far longer than me.”

  “I am made of stronger stuff,” he said with the faintest flicker of a smile.

  “That is not fair, Mr Darcy.”

  Mr Darcy raised his eyebrows.

  “I cannot scoff and tease you after you have just saved my life. It is most provoking.”

  Mr Darcy smiled a little more. It was strange to see him, thus, out of his formal clothes. He looked years younger.

  “My deepest apologies. I assume you would not like me to put you back where I found you?”

  I was so surprised by his joke, I could not hold back a laugh.

  “No, that is quite all right. I will soon recover from the disappointment. But my uncle will insist you take something of his to tide you over until you return home.”

  The crowd about us gradually dispersed. Some I am sure out of relief I was unharmed and others because they were disappointed at losing the chance to see a dead young lady. Mr Darcy offered me his arm as we walked to his carriage while Miss Darcy walked on my other side.

  “I hope you will not catch a cold,” she said.

  “I would be astonished if she did,” said Mr Darcy. “Miss Bennet enjoys a disgraceful amount of health for a gently brought up young woman.”

  He did not look at me as he spoke, but I could see the smile playing about his lips. Once his anxiety for my health had passed, he seemed almost exuberant. I should have liked him much better if I had seen this side of him before. But it would be hard for me to dislike him now after what he had done for me.

  “I am grateful for what you did…” I began.

  Mr Darcy stopped me. “I was glad to do it. I thought I recognised you though I am sure you did not see me. You were staring at the ships in another world. I shouted to warn you as the men came near you and I realised neither of you could see one another.”

  I shivered. “That was you? I heard someone cry out, but by the time I realised it, I was already in the water. It was a — it was a terrifying moment.”

  “Yes, it was. Not one I care to recall.” Mr Darcy’s voice was sombre. “I never felt such relief in my life when I found you. If I could not, I do not know what I would have done.” His exuberance melted away, and there was distress in his voice that roused a strange sensation in me. His voice cracked over the words. I glanced up at him, but he had turned away as though he wished to hide his expression. His jaw was clenched. As we walked to his carriage in silence, a new feeling swept over me. Mr Darcy had told me he loved me. I already knew it on one level, but the risk he took for me and his evident horror of anything happening to me made me feel it at quite another. To be loved like that by a man like him was more gratifying than I cared to admit.

  “Thanks to you, it did not come to that,” I said briefly. My voice was a little harsher than expected, but I did not know what to do with the turmoil of emotions spinning through me. This walk was supposed to help me clear my head. I could have laughed at the failure if I did not want the Darcys to see me as mad. “Miss Darcy, I have not thanked you, either. You were very kind to me when I was cold and afraid. And I have ruined your dress. You must send me the laundry bill.”

  “I will not hear of it,” said Miss Darcy. “It is not to be spoken of. I am just so grateful the two of you are safe. I did not know what to think when I saw you fall, followed immediately after by my brother.” She shuddered. I linked my arm through hers and gave her a comforting squeeze.

  “I should not like to think of it. I have four sisters. If I saw one of them dive into a river like that, I do not know what I should have done. It is not to be thought of.”

  Curious heads turned to look at us as we walked by. We had left the docks now and arrived at a walkway. I wondered what Mr Darcy made of the attention we drew. The men and women we passed were respectable and well-dressed. Ladies and gentlemen who I am sure would have been glad to have him decorate their ballrooms and dining tables. Yet he paid them no attention though more than one gave him a look of what was obvious recognition.

  “We are creating a stir,” I murmured as a fashionable couple in their barouche turned to watch us before turning to one another to whisper wildly. The lady’s head followed us until they rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

  “That cannot be helped,” said Mr Darcy. “Right now, there are more important matters to worry about.”

  I gave him such an amazed look, he coloured slightly. Without saying anything, he gestured toward a man who hurried toward us, his eyes wide with astonishment.

  “Here is our coachman,” he said. “Peter, we have had an accident. I hope we will not damage the carriage seats too much.”

  “What happened, sir?” asked Peter in horror. “Did you fall into the river?”


  “I did,” I replied. “Mr Darcy saved me.”

  Peter looked me up and down in bewilderment.

  “This is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Peter.”

  Peter’s face cleared. He gave me another look, this one of particular interest.

  “Oh,” was all he said. I shifted uncomfortably. If he had been at Kent with Mr Darcy, he must surely have heard of the letter. I could only hope he was discreet.

  “I have some horse blankets, sir,” he replied. “I shall spread them across the seats.”

  He hurried back to the carriage. By the time we had reached him, he had arranged them so we could sit without destroying the plush upholstery. I settled in and rearranged my muddy skirts about me as though I was about to attend a ball. Mr Darcy took the seat across from me and dusted at his destroyed shirt sleeves with a similar demeanour. He saw me watching him and, our lips twitched irresistibly, and we both burst into laughter. The stress of everything that had happened piled on me, urging me to laugh harder and harder. It was ridiculous. I knew I should not respond so, but the more I laughed, the more the knot in my chest released. Tears poured down my cheeks, and I did not know if they were laughter or fear. Mr Darcy rubbed his temples, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. Miss Darcy settled beside me and looked between the two of us with a shy smile.

  “Well, where shall I tell him to go,” said Mr Darcy. “St James’s Court?”

  “I am not wasting my finery on a shabby old court,” I declared grandly though my giggles slightly ruined it. “I insist you take me to Almacks. One look at us and they will insist we lead London society.”

  “I hear the prince has a ball tonight at Carlton House,” said Mr Darcy. “We shall be the talk of London. No one shall hold a candle to us.”

  I leaned back against the seat, weak with laughter as we exchanged more suggestions for where we should go. Mr Darcy had evidently already given my address to the coachman, and the carriage pulled away toward Gracechurch Street as we came up with more ideas, some even supplied timidly by Georgiana who smiled with shy pride when she set me off laughing again.

  “Oh, that is just what I needed,” I said as I wiped at my eyes. “I dearly love to laugh. It has been far too long since I have done so.”

  “I cannot recall the last time,” said Mr Darcy. His expression sobered, but he still shook a little as he recalled some of our conversation. “I told you once that what is good can be rendered ridiculous by someone whose first object in life is a joke. Do you recall?”

  “I do. At Netherfield. Have you changed your mind?”

  “Not exactly.” He smiled. “But considering how I feel right now when all sense tells me I should feel the opposite, I am inclined to borrow something from your philosophy.”

  “It is gratifying to see,” said Miss Darcy softly. Her eyes were soft as she looked at her brother. I suspected it had been a long time since she had seen him behave thus.

  “This is my aunt and uncle’s house,” I said as I looked out the window. I felt a pang of regret as our journey together was almost at an end. It seemed the experience we had just shared had forged something of a bond between us and I was loath to sever it. I felt something like a flash of anxiety at the pending separation. “I meant what I said, Mr Darcy. Both of you must come up and receive my family’s thanks. If you do not, it is I they will scold. And we shall find clothes for you to borrow, sir,” I added. Mr Darcy started to protest, but I fixed him with a firm look.

  “I shall not take no for an answer. I do not want it on my conscience if you wither away and die.”

  “People do not die from trifling colds,” said Mr Darcy.

  “No, but when they are as delicate as you, I would rather not take the risk,” I said. I flashed him a teasing grin as he jumped out of the carriage to hand me out. His fingers enclosed around mine and held them for a beat longer than was necessary.

  “You are my physician, then,” he said in a low voice so no one else could hear. “I shall obey you.”

  I flushed at the almost flirtatious nature of his comment. Fortunately, the door opened, and my uncle stepped outside.

  “I was watching from the window,” he said. His eyes widened as he took in our appearance. “Lizzy! What on earth has happened?”

  He looked between Mr Darcy and me, then his gaze settled on something between us. With a start, I realised Mr Darcy still held my hand. I discreetly pulled my fingers free.

  “I had an accident, Uncle. Mr Darcy was on hand to save me. I told him he may not leave until he and Miss Darcy have received your thanks.”

  “No, indeed they may not,” said Uncle Gardiner, his voice faint with shock. “Come in, come in at once. Your aunt will kill me if I have you standing in the street in wet clothes. Mr Darcy, I have something that might do for you, sir. I can at least provide you with a clean, dry shirt though you are of a much larger build than my own. Come inside at once.”

  16

  Jane and Aunt Gardiner stood up at the same time as we appeared at the drawing-room door. Mr Darcy and I declined to venture in any further for fear of trailing mud across the carpets.

  “Lizzy! What happened to you? What is the meaning of this? We did not even realise you had gone out until I tried to find you a few minutes ago,” cried Jane.

  “I will explain all in our time. Be assured I am well,” I said. I explained our need for dry clothes. Jane and Aunt Gardiner snapped out of their stupor at once. They shepherded Miss Darcy and me to my bedchamber while Uncle Gardiner took Mr Darcy to his dressing room. My aunt and sister scolded me gently as Miss Darcy and I were changed into fresh gowns. Miss Darcy and Jane were of a similar height and build, both taller than I. I wondered if Mr Darcy would have as much good fortune in finding clean clothes to borrow.

  “I cannot believe you, Lizzy. How could I have faced your father if something had happened to you?” said Aunt Gardiner as she insisted on combing my hair herself as though I were a little girl.

  “I do not think he would have blamed you. He knows me too well for that.”

  Aunt Gardiner shook her head.

  “Thank goodness for you and your brother, Miss Darcy. How kind of you to take care of Lizzy. I do not know what we would have done if something had happened to her. Lizzy, you must promise me you will never walk down there again.”

  “I have no desire to do so,” I said with a shudder. “The whole ordeal is a memory I shall not lose easily.”

  “Good. If it stays with you, it will prevent you from doing something foolish again.” Her eyes as they met mine in the mirror were much harsher than usual as she glared at me. The look melted a moment later before she hugged me from behind. “Foolish girl. Never make us fear for you like that again.”

  I covered her hand with mine.

  “I think it best if you do not mention this little adventure to Mama,” I suggested.

  Aunt hesitated, delicacy wrestling with what she knew of my mother.

  “Yes, I think that is best,” she admitted.

  Aunt and Jane insisted on attending to Miss Darcy themselves. I waited for a while but soon found the need to be alone to gather my thoughts. As they fussed about her and brought her out of her shell, I slipped from the room. Uncle was probably still with Mr Darcy as it would not be easy to find something for him to wear. I went down to the drawing room.

  I started when I saw Mr Darcy standing at the window. His hands were behind his back as he looked over the street. He turned when he heard me though his expression suggested it was not me he expected to see. I looked over his clothing.

  “I recognise none of those as Uncle’s” I remarked.

  “No…” He looked down at the rather plain clothes he wore. “Your uncle tells me these belonged to a former servant who left to be married. Fortunately for me, he left these pieces behind and even more fortunately, he was of a similar size.”

  My lips twitched as I observed the proud Mr Darcy in servant’s clothes. Much as I appreciated him, I could not resist being pleased to see
a little humbling.

  “They suit you,” I observed.

  Mr Darcy spread his arms as he looked down at himself.

  “Perhaps they — well, I am fortunate they are available.”

  An awkward silence stretched between us. I glanced back at the passage. Everyone else was still occupied with matters above stairs. I came toward Mr Darcy.

  “You must allow me to thank you in all seriousness,” I said urgently. “The service you rendered me — I do not know how I will ever repay it.”

  Mr Darcy regarded me with an expression I could not quite understand.

  “Do you think this is a service that requires repayment?” he asked in a voice rather gruffer than usual.

  “Sir?”

  He took a step toward me. I would have moved away, but something kept me rooted to the spot. His eyes were fierce as he looked down at me.

  “Do you think I would not gladly perform such a service for you?”

  I did not know how to respond to that. I stared at him and opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

  “I — I know you are a good man,” was all I could manage.

  Mr Darcy shook his head.

  “I cannot honestly say there are many people I would have done the same for,” he said. “With most others, I might have stood at the side and assisted from the bank. Help pull the misfortunate soul to shore. But I could not be content with such a thing with you.” He turned his eyes back to meet mine. “Let there be no more talk of services or gratitude. There was no alternative for me, but to do what I did.”

  His eyes were dark as they burned into mine. I could not look away. The silence stretched between us and I saw him glance to my lips. He took a deep breath as if he struggled to master something. I knew he was about to say something, and I did not know if I wanted to hear it or if I feared what he might say more.

  “Mr Darcy,” said Uncle’s voice from the doorway. “I am glad they fit you, sir. I suppose Lizzy has been giving you her thanks, eh?”