Songlines

by Carolyn Denman

  The sun was as bright as a tradie’s wardrobe and was turning all the tools into branding irons, so I was grateful for the break when Noah arrived carrying a thick official-looking envelope.

  ‘The postie asked me to bring this to you because it didn’t fit in your letterbox,’ he said as he walked up. I reached for the package but he held it above my head. He was one of two people I knew that could. It was rather annoying.

  ‘Sorry, Lainie, this one’s for Bane.’ He laughed as he tossed it. I winced, thinking it looked too important to be thrown around like that but Bane caught it easily with one hand. Noah hovered inquisitively but I dragged him away to let Bane open his mail in peace.

  ‘Noah, we need to talk,’ I said, figuring now was as good a time as any. ‘About Tess.’ He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me, horrified.

  ‘Um, Lainie, Mum’s had this talk with me already,’ he said, his ears going a little red.

  I laughed and kept pulling him along. ‘Not that, bonehead. I wouldn’t touch that topic with a cattle prod.’

  We found an empty concrete drinking trough to sit on, far enough away to provide Bane with some privacy. ‘So what exactly have you figured out about her?’ I asked bluntly. I found blunt was usually best with Noah.

  He fiddled with my bracelet, looking resigned. ‘Apparently Tessa Bright is my Guardian,’ he replied. He said it like it was an honoured title. I hadn’t thought of it quite like that before.

  ‘Is that what your mum calls her?’

  ‘You mean Tessa or Guardian?’ he asked with a laugh. Noah’s sense of humour could never be suppressed for long. ‘Mum thinks the world of her. She would be more devastated than Tess, I think, if we ever broke up.’

  I highly doubted that. ‘And what have you told Tessa?’

  He fidgeted a little. ‘Nothing, yet. I don’t know where to start. What am I supposed to say?’

  I remembered back to when Bane first arrived on the farm. It had certainly been an awkward situation.

  ‘Can’t you tell her?’ he pleaded.

  ‘Noah! You chicken! She’s your girlfriend. We hardly even spoke to each other at school. How am I supposed to tell her?’

  ‘Maybe Bane can, then. You know, Guardian to Guardian. Secret Guardian business. I should probably leave it to them, right?’

  ‘Nice try, buddy, but no. If she’s had to go through anything like what Bane has, then you owe it to her to do this right.’ I placed my hands solidly on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. ‘My friend, I’m afraid it’s time for you to man-up and tell your tiny girlfriend that she’s destined to be your bodyguard.’

  ‘Why do I need a bodyguard anyway?’

  My eyes narrowed.

  ‘Well, come on, Lainie. You know what I’m talking about. What’s Tessa going to be able to protect me from that I can’t handle myse—’

  His sentence was cut short when I demonstrated the answer to his question and about twenty seconds later, Bane hauled me off him.

  ‘Let go of me!’ I yelled. ‘I don’t need your help!’

  Bane had my elbows pulled back tightly so I bit my lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

  ‘Ah! For the love of—’ He released me so fast I nearly fell over. For a few seconds none of us moved. In fact, I was too angry to even breathe properly. Then, of course, Noah’s phone rang.

  ‘What were you fighting about?’ Bane asked while Noah listened to whatever lame excuse for calling that Tessa was trying to make up.

  ‘I don’t need a bodyguard,’ I stated. ‘Any more than Noah does.’

  ‘Well of course you don’t,’ he agreed. ‘You’re the most capable person I know. You’re never afraid of anything, even when you should be. The only thing you’re ever likely to need protection from is the occasional random accident, and everyone has those. If Noah’s male ego is a bit bruised then you have just as much right for your female ego to … I mean, for your pride to be … oh shi—’

  ‘Just stop talking, Bane,’ I interrupted, smiling in spite of myself. ‘Noah?’

  He glanced up from where he was still sitting in the dust with his phone to his ear.

  ‘Tomorrow’s Sunday. You’d better invite her over for lunch.’

  Noah grinned. ‘Fine. But first, let me see how Bane’s going to fix your lip.’

  It was a good thing for Noah that Bane had such good reflexes.

  Later that afternoon as I was placing my orange peel in the kitchen bin I noticed the envelope Bane had received. He had thrown it out unopened.

  ‘None of my business,’ I said to the empty kitchen. ‘Really, none of my business. Leave it alone, Lainie. He’s entitled to his privacy.’

  But then I noticed the Army logo.

  Chapter 26

  A gentle awareness alerted me to Noah’s approach even before I heard his ute rumbling towards the house. My senses seemed to be getting more acute, maybe because I had been practising a lot, or perhaps I was just getting better at recognising what my feelings meant. I set the table and started to pull things out of the fridge. I had no idea whether Noah had told Tessa anything yet but if not, I would at least make sure she was well fed before we sent her screaming from the house.

  ‘Calm down. It’ll be fine,’ Bane said as he opened the oven. The mouth-watering smell of rosemary and roast lamb filled the air as he poked at the potatoes with a fork.

  ‘I am calm. I have nothing to worry about. It’s Noah’s turn to do this so it’ll be fun to watch.’ I tried to sound amused.

  ‘Then why are you humming?’

  Darn stupid Guardian empathy. Not that he needed it when I had such obvious giveaways. Inara looked up at me with typical feline optimism, volunteering to taste-test the roast, but I ignored her.

  ‘What if she doesn’t believe us? Or worse, what if she thinks we’re all crazy and tells someone? Why can’t we just make Noah’s mum tell her?’

  Bane grabbed my wrists and relieved me of the bread knife I was clutching. I really must have looked nervous.

  ‘Do you really think it would be a good idea for Mrs Ashbree to be the one to announce to Tessa that she’s destined to marry Noah?’ The bread knife clattered to the floor as he realised what he’d just said. Out loud.

  I sat down rather abruptly while he picked up the knife. He spoke quickly in an attempt to move the conversation along, which I was heartily in favour of. ‘Tess won’t be able to tell anybody. The words would just stick in her throat. I know. I’ve tried. Not once I knew about Eden of course, but when I was younger. The school counsellor tried very hard to get me to talk about my issues, and I really wanted to, but I just couldn’t. Tessa might not like it, but she will appreciate finally having an explanation for how she feels.’

  Biting my lower lip, I smiled up at him. ‘You’ll help us explain things to her, won’t you? You probably understand her best, after all.’

  ‘That depends on her. I don’t think she trusts me, and I don’t blame her. I didn’t really make the best reputation for myself at school.’

  I hadn’t exactly helped his case either, given how vocal I’d always been about his unfair treatment of me. He gave my hands one last reassuring squeeze as I heard the car pull up. Poor kitchen table, here we go again.

  Tessa knew something was going on. We were all a bit too quiet. Even Aunt Lily was having trouble acting naturally. Munching on my corncob, I found myself assessing Tessa as shrewdly as if she was a potential employee. She was tiny. Not really short, but to me most people seemed tiny. She had delicate features that highlighted her part-Asian heritage, and lustrous black hair that hung straight down almost to her waist with large soft curls at the very ends. And she had the sort of voice that banks could use to apologise for keeping people on hold for three hours straight and still retain loyal customers. I tried to picture her in a Lara Croft sort of way, and thought maybe it would hel
p if she wore some camo gear instead of that skimpy tank top, but she just didn’t look very capable of protecting herself, let alone Noah. Maybe we had it all wrong. Wasn’t she prone to fainting? She’d fainted dead away that day when Jake nearly hit Noah in the school car park. Oh. In hindsight that made sense, actually. It must have been awful for her to feel the strong urge to do something but not know what, how or why.

  Tessa shifted in her chair and Bane nudged my foot with his. I had been staring again.

  She put down her knife and fork. ‘Lainie, I’m sorry if this is difficult for you,’ she said, her voice sounding as stern as I had ever heard her, ‘but Noah and I are together now. If you have anything to say to me, just go ahead and say it.’

  I could feel my eyebrows climbing into my scalp and across the room Aunt Lily had her lips clamped shut, but her laugh was escaping through her eyeballs instead. I still couldn’t tell how much Tessa knew so I fell back on the old faithful. I smiled and nodded.

  Bane kicked me again as I gripped the table for moral support. Why did it always come down to me to have to lead these discussions? It wasn’t fair.

  A big gulp of river water bought me the few precious moments I needed to find my voice. ‘You’re right, Tessa. This is a bit weird for me, but only because I’ve never seen Noah this taken with anyone before.’

  She looked at me with a hopeful sort of astonishment.

  ‘But I’m afraid it’s only going to get weirder.’ I looked at Noah. He was looking at me hopefully too, the coward. ‘I think I know why you and Noah are so attached to one another. It’s going to sound strange but I think I can guess some of the things that have been happening to you lately.’

  She squirmed in her seat. I was relying on the fact that if we were all wrong about this, I wouldn’t be able to say the next words out loud.

  ‘I think you’ve been drawn to Noah in a really powerful way. Physically, even. You can always find him, and it makes you sick to be too far away from him.’

  Her face paled and a sliver of hysteria coloured her words. ‘You feel that too? Do you have to stay close as well?’

  ‘No. No! That’s not it. I mean, I know I can find him easily at any time too, but I’m not drawn to him like you are.’

  ‘So what makes him so special? Why can’t we stop thinking about him?’

  Spluttering, I could see Noah’s expression out of the corner of my eye and I made a heroic effort not to throw my bread roll at him. ‘It’s not just Noah, it’s me too. We’re not entirely human.’ I couldn’t believe I had to utter those words. Out loud. Again.

  Tessa drew her perfectly shaped eyebrows down. I threw a pleading look at Aunt Lily, but she just shrugged her shoulders unhelpfully. Fine. ‘Noah and I are Cherubim. We only found out we were different from everyone else a few weeks ago.’

  ‘Actually, I only found out last week,’ Noah piped in.

  Very helpful. Thanks mate.

  ‘You and Ben are our Guardians,’ I continued. ‘You’re both fully human but have somehow developed a supernatural compulsion to protect us. You, obviously, are linked to Noah, and Ben is linked to me.’ I gave her a few moments for that to sink in because it had all come out in a rush and sounded confusing even to me. It had sounded a lot smoother when I’d practised it in my head.

  ‘How are you doing so far?’ Noah asked her, picking up her hand like it was a fragile flower.

  ‘Actually, that kind of explains a lot,’ she nodded, looking at Bane as if seeing him for the first time, but then she frowned again. ‘Sort of. What did you say you are?’

  ‘Cherubim,’ Noah stated, with a hint of pride that was immediately followed by a panicked expression as he turned to me. ‘Wait. Not human? I mean, does that mean we can’t …’ The look of disappointment as he glanced at Tessa told me a lot. ‘We’re not the same … species,’ he finished weakly.

  ‘What? Horrified at the thought of me being the only female of your species you’re not related to?’ Generously then, I put everyone out of their obvious distress. ‘Don’t worry. We’re Cherubim, but we’re made of human,’ I clarified. ‘Both our dads are human, remember?’

  ‘Made of human?’ My aunt shook her head in dismay at my choice of words. Luckily Bane took over at that point, explaining the story in Genesis and even adding a few other Biblical references to the Tree of Life that I hadn’t found yet. At some point I would have to find time to do some more homework.

  Incredibly, Tessa accepted everything we said as if she was just pleased to be part of the story. Even when we told her about the fire and the storm.

  ‘Is that why I was so sick last Saturday? I was supposed to be helping clear away scrub but I needed to come here so I just jumped onto the other pumper. I got suspended from the crew for six months for that. No volunteer has ever been suspended before.’

  Bane looked at me pointedly. He had been absolutely right. It wasn’t fair to keep the truth from her.

  Noah put his arm around her and cradled her head against his shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, Tess. I honestly had no idea. I won’t let that happen again, I promise.’

  A sudden stab of jealousy felt like ice down my neck, but I brutally suppressed it. It would take time to get used to seeing them together, and that was okay. Just move on.

  ‘How did you find out about all this?’ Tessa asked. ‘I mean, how come now? Although I’ve felt this way around Noah for a long time,’ she admitted, nuzzling into his chest.

  As clearly as I could, I explained about how Kolsom was trying to gain access to the valley, and that Harry had gone to Eden to try to get help but had trapped himself behind a rock fall. I left out the part about my mother, even though the image of her hugging and singing to me seemed to fill my thoughts whenever I inadvertently left room for it.

  ‘But Noah didn’t find out until the fire. Why didn’t you tell him at the same time as Lainie?’ she asked Aunt Lily.

  ‘Actually, Tess, I didn’t know that Noah was a Cherub. For years I assumed he was Lainie’s Guardian.’ That was news to me. She smiled crookedly at Noah. ‘Until the day he came up with that brilliant plan to go ice-blocking down the hill paddock.’

  Oh yeah. The first time we’d taken turns sliding down the hill on a giant ice block covered by a towel, we’d tried it standing up. I broke my arm. Since then we only rode them sitting down, with a nice thick rope frozen into the front for steering. Still probably not something a Guardian would have condoned. That must have been a bad time for Bane.

  Aunt Lily stood up. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I think it might be better if I left now. You’re going to want to speak about things that will be difficult to say with me here. And Tessa? I know this is all a bit hard on you, but let me just say that you can trust what Lainie says. You can trust all of us. I’ll do anything I can to help you understand this.’ And with that she abandoned us to explain the rest on our own.

  We spent a long time talking through the details, comparing notes and stories. Tessa wanted to know every single thing Harry had told me and I felt terrible that I had spent so much effort avoiding him instead of taking the opportunity to find out more. Bane was particularly interested to find out if Tessa had the same range of distance before feeling ill, and why she’d had less trouble at school than he had. Apparently she’d experienced all sorts of problems, but instead of acting on her impulses she’d usually managed to suppress them, which had just left her feeling sick and dizzy instead. No wonder we’d never gotten along so well. I was usually the one putting Noah in danger and I just saw her as a pathetic doll who fainted at the drop of a hat, when the truth was she probably had more self-discipline than the rest of us put together. When she explained how she used to lock herself in the girls toilets to resist watching Noah play footy, Bane started to get that self-recriminating cast to his features again.

  ‘So it must be so much easier for you now, Bane. Now that you can touch her
any time you need to.’ Tess smiled, sitting on Noah’s lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

  I raised one eyebrow at my Guardian, who was taking a sudden interest in clearing the dishes from the drying rack.

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s not like that for me,’ Bane intercepted, slamming the cutlery drawer shut. ‘Anyway, shouldn’t we get moving, Lainie? Are we going to go to show them the cave today or what?’

  Clearly there was more to this than he wanted to say but I chose not to hassle him about it in front of the others. I could be patient.

  Noah held Tessa back from following as Bane hung up the tea towel and quickly left the room. ‘Bane and Lainie are not … together, Tess,’ he confided, but she just laughed.

  Too right, why did everyone automatically make these assumptions? Possibly because I’d held his hand on Christmas Day. Fair enough. My stupid mistake. Just as well Noah had sorted that out before Tessa said something that might have offended the poor guy, because I was certain that in all Bane’s confusion about his unnatural feelings towards me, the bottom line was that he still didn’t actually like me. He never had, and I’d be the worst kind of fool if I ever let myself believe that would really change.

  Chapter 27

  We packed Noah’s ute with some supplies and the empty water drums to be refilled. It was difficult to guess how accustomed Tessa was to hiking in the bush so we made certain to pack a few essential items, like drink bottles, a bag of oranges, insect repellent, sunscreen and chocolate. We planned to drive as far upstream as we could and then hike our way to the waterfall. At least this time we would have more people to help carry the full drums of water back home. It was a gruelling trip, and there was no easy trail to follow.