Songlines

by Carolyn Denman

  ‘You’ve been out all night. I was worried!’ She glared at Tessa.

  ‘And so you decided to go out bush on your own to look for us?’ Noah admonished her.

  ‘Like you’ve never done that. Besides, I had Blue. And the phone. I would have called if I’d been in trouble, unlike some people.’

  ‘I did call. Mum would have told you if you’d asked, but you chose not to run this by her, didn’t you?’

  She grinned at him, totally unashamed. ‘What were you doing out here, anyway?’

  ‘None of your business! Besides, we’re on our way back. I’m starving.’ He tried to distract her from asking too many questions, but it was never going to work.

  ‘What are the water drums for?’

  ‘Carrying water,’ he replied unhelpfully.

  He picked one up and Tessa took the other. I winced in sympathy at the sight of them struggling with the heavy water drums, but we couldn’t help. I didn’t want Nicole to know Bane and I were there. Better to let her think Noah and Tessa had come out for some time alone, but Blue was standing by the edge of the river staring into the bushes where we were hiding. I closed my eyes and whispered at her to go away. She did, and I wondered if I could have made us invisible if it had been necessary to keep Eden hidden. That might have been kind of fun.

  Noah, Nicole and Tessa started to head back along the riverbank, and I knew they would run into Sarah as she tried to catch up to her daughter. Knowing Sarah, there would be some serious consequences, and I almost felt a bit sorry for Nicole. Almost.

  Once they were well and truly out of range we began the long trek home. I carried our backpack while Bane limped along beside me in one sock and damp boots.

  Chapter 30

  After a morning to recuperate, Aunt Lily sent Bane into town to visit his mum and pick up some supplies. It was New Year’s Eve and I had totally forgotten. We had originally planned to go into town for the fireworks but I’d had to explain to Aunt Lily about the potential meeting with Harry. It was a long shot, but on the off chance our plan worked, I wasn’t going to stand him up for the sake of a fireworks display. So instead, Bane went to buy hot dogs, gelati, and fresh batteries for our torches in case we found any more caves to explore. This time we would pack properly, knowing we would be spending the night up there again. The minute Bane drove away, however, Aunt Lily pounced on me.

  ‘So it’s “Bane” again, is it?’ she asked with a naughty glint in her eye as she ate a spoonful of Nutella straight from the jar. Her smooth golden hair was tucked behind her ears and she had tell-tale bits of wool clinging to her jeans from a morning spent vaccinating stock.

  ‘He prefers it, apparently,’ I said, blinking innocently. Had we been acting so differently that she had noticed something had happened? I had no reason to keep any secrets from her, but that didn’t stop me from feeling awkward. She just smiled and drummed her fingers on the table, waiting for me to spill the beans.

  ‘Okay, so we had a bit of a “moment”. Happy? I succumbed to his dazzling charm, is that what you want to hear? I feel bad about it enough already, you don’t need to rub it in,’ I sulked, laying my forehead on the table.

  ‘What’s to feel bad about, Lainie? You two are clearly meant for each other! Why are you making this so complicated?’

  ‘Because he would never have picked me if he’d had any say in the matter, that’s why! I’ve done nothing but ruin his life since we were kids and now he’s stuck here in the middle of nowhere instead of living the life he deserves!’

  My aunt sat down opposite me with a look of wise sympathy in her steady blue eyes, so I got up and started tossing things around the kitchen to make up some milk for the joey.

  ‘I don’t think he sees it quite like that, honey. He adores you. Everyone can see it but you.’

  ‘I see it. I just don’t believe it’s real. You never knew him at school. Since this has all started he’s been compelled to feel … that way. It’s wrong and unfair on him. I feel like an evil witch who’s cast a love spell. Somewhere out there is the girl he really wants to be with while I’m holding him hostage here.’

  ‘And what about you? Do you resent him hanging around you all the time? Do you want to ditch him so you can start seeing other people?’

  I stopped shaking the bottle of milk formula and stared at her in astonishment. See other people? Was that what I wanted? Not even remotely. Did I want him to leave? My chest hurt just thinking about it, which was unexpected. I wasn’t being compelled in any way, was I? Maybe it was just the idea of having someone so dedicated to protecting me—that was a powerful thing—but deep down I knew that wasn’t all it was. I shook my head sadly.

  ‘No. I don’t want him to go. But I can’t keep him either.’

  With a heavy heart I pulled open the bottom drawer of the kitchen, the one with all the junk that didn’t have a proper home, and handed her the envelope I had saved from the bin.

  Annie Gracewood stood at the entrance to the tunnel, reluctant to go in. Despite the fact that she felt drawn to this place it always brought back memories for her, and that made her sad, so she avoided it. How could she be drawn here and not want to be here at the same time? It made no sense. She should go in. The thought surprised her. There was no ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ in Eden. That was a concept from Before. She rubbed her face. Harry wanted her to remember. He needed her help, and helping other people was more like what she knew. It was what people did here. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because it was what people were made for. The people here had Life breathed into them, and they acted according to the instincts that brought. It was natural, and easy.

  It had been a long time since she had thought of the people here as different to herself, but they were. She was not really one of them. She wasn’t one of the dead ones either. She had loved them too, and had left them behind a long time ago.

  Harry had talked about one of them. Lainie. She had died like the rest and so she’d had to leave her precious baby behind, with all the other dead people. She’d had to leave before she died herself—she’d promised—but she missed Lainie terribly.

  Looking wistfully at the bright yellow Living Fruit on a nearby tree, she considered taking a bite. The Fruit was a source of Life. She’d avoided eating it for so many years before finally giving in. Eating it made it difficult to remember things that hurt. If she ate it now, she would stop missing her baby, but then she wouldn’t be able to help Harry. So she steeled herself and entered the tunnel instead.

  When she saw the sword she nearly turned and ran back out again—too many memories writhed amongst its breathtaking flames—she forced herself to keep going. The light from the massive weapon flickered around the cavern, and what it showed made her eyebrows lift in utter bewilderment, and then she burst out laughing.

  That afternoon I received a message from Noah to say that he and Tessa wouldn’t be coming back to the cave with us that evening. It would look far too suspicious to have to explain to Nicole why they were going to miss out on the New Year’s festivities to go out bush again and she was nosy enough as it was. So after an early and massively unhealthy dinner to make up for missing the party in town, Bane and I packed some basic overnight gear and torches and wearily trudged all the way back to the cave system. We arrived with almost half an hour to spare and I used it to stare at the legendary sword, daydream about pouncing on Bane again, and try to conjure up the language that I knew could be used to crush the rock wall to dust—if only I could remember it.

  Hot rocks stung my fingertips as I peered through the gap, trying to see if anyone was in the cavern behind the sword. Was that a slight movement?

  ‘Harry?’ I whispered loudly. ‘Harry, are you there?’

  ‘Why are you whispering?’ Bane asked. ‘Sound doesn’t even travel across the boundary, remember?’

  Good point. Feeling sheepish, I pulled
back and blew on my sore fingers. So what now? Bane’s phone alarm had been due to go off a couple of minutes earlier, and I’d been excited when I hadn’t heard it in the cavern beyond, thinking that meant someone must have picked it up. I’d forgotten that I wouldn’t have heard it anyway. There wasn’t any point trying to see anything either, as I had been invisible to Bane as soon as I had stepped across the threshold in the other tunnel. I let out a frustrated groan.

  ‘What’s the matter, Lainie-Bug?’ Harry’s voice came out of nowhere and I jumped a mile. Suddenly I could feel his presence, like a familiar scent of home.

  ‘Harry! You came! You’re really here!’ I wanted to squeeze right through the hole and throw myself at him, but I only managed to get my head halfway through before a couple of rocks shifted ominously. Behind me, Bane growled under his breath.

  ‘Yes, I came. Someone handed me a stinky sock containing something unpleasant,’ he laughed. ‘Here, you’d better have it back, it’s nearly out of charge anyway, and it keeps bleeping at me.’ He passed Bane’s phone through the hole. ‘And who does it belong to, anyway?’ he asked, as if he couldn’t sense that I was not alone.

  ‘Ben Millard.’ I paused, feeling my ears go pink. What to say? ‘He’s my Guardian.’ I leant back and Harry tilted his head to see past me. Bane gave an awkward little wave.

  Harry raised one eyebrow at me. He was not one to pry, but there was a definite smug twinkle in his brown eyes.

  ‘Wait, someone handed you the phone? So there really are other people in there?’

  He nodded. ‘Of course. You don’t think this has all been set up just to protect some exotic plants and animals, do you?’

  If those exotic plants included a Tree that gave immortality, then I didn’t see why not, but I was happy to trust him on this one.

  ‘Lainie, how is everything? What’s been happening with Kolsom?’

  There was so much to tell him, but I tried to sum up as best I could because he was beginning to look pained as the heat from the sword behind him radiated through his clothing.

  ‘The miners are still here. They lit a bushfire to try to burn the valley to gain access to it but Noah and I put it out.’ I almost laughed at the incredulous expression on his face. There was a lot to take in from that one sentence. ‘You knew about Noah though, didn’t you, Harry?’ I guessed. How could he not have?

  Shielding his face from the heat, he looked as uncomfortable as he had that time I’d caught him planting roses in his little garden. ‘It wasn’t my place to talk about it. I was waiting for Sarah to tell him first.’

  ‘She didn’t. He found out when he started yelling at rain clouds. It was a bit of a shock. For both of us.’

  Harry muttered angrily to himself, probably regretting the fact he hadn’t told us himself.

  ‘Harry, is there some way I can get in, or can you get out? Can you move these rocks again?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but as I told you, that sort of power only manifests when there’s a need for it.’

  ‘But I need you to come home! Please?’

  ‘It’s not our needs that matter. It’s whether Eden needs it. And if there is even just one Cherub available to protect it from your side, then I’m not needed there.’

  Let alone if there were three of us around.

  ‘Well, if not through here, is there some other way in?’ I asked. ‘We found another Event Horizon in a different cave, but it’s a dead end on the other side. I could cross it, but for Bane it didn’t even exist.’

  Shifting around like a frog on a hot rock, Harry looked intrigued. We were running out of time; he would have to go back before his clothes caught fire.

  ‘Really? I always assumed there was only the one way in. How are we supposed to protect this place if there are more?’

  ‘I think only Cherubim can cross elsewhere. Everyone else would just walk straight past without realising, but we cross over. I expect this is the only place … humans … can even potentially get through, so this is the only place we have to really guard.’ What I was saying was pure conjecture, but it was the best I had. It still felt disconcerting to talk about humans as if I wasn’t one, but I pretended not to care.

  He nodded thoughtfully. ‘Let me think about it. This cave leads to another tunnel behind the sword, which opens out into …’ His face twisted into a grimace, and his eyes flicked up to where Bane was standing patiently behind me. So even the Guardians weren’t allowed to know everything, then. ‘I’ll do some exploring and see what I can find,’ he said instead. ‘Will I meet you here again the day after tomorrow?’ He was looking very uncomfortable and sweat was pouring from his chin.

  ‘We’ll be here. Make it earlier, around lunchtime. You’d better go before you lose your eyebrows. But Harry …?’

  He started to back away.

  ‘Harry, what about the music? And my mother, did you find her?’

  ‘Say hi to your aunt for me,’ he called back, pretending he hadn’t heard me, ‘and to Sarah, too.’

  And between one step and another, he disappeared.

  It took me a good half hour to forgive Harry for evading my questions, even though Bane sensibly pointed out that it was probably because he couldn’t say anything while a human was around. He promised to give us a bit more space the next time, and then proceeded to demonstrate how that was done by doing his best to ignore my existence as we set up camp for the night. I knew he was grouchy because he was fretting about me going to Eden without him, but I was determined to see it through. He would thank me for it one day. I tried not to think about how I felt about that. Remembered images of his past venomous looks sickened me now. I had once been fairly de-sensitised to them—and I had honestly forgiven him for each and every one once I had understood what I had put him through—but if he ever went back to hating me that much, something in me would shatter beyond repair.

  As the river music filled my head with its poignant sorrow, I longed for him to hold me again, and promise me that he would try to be as nice as he could, but he stayed on his side of the dusty grotto, as far away from me as he could get. I had been sending him so many mixed signals lately, I was sure he was about to derail. Resolutely I disciplined my thoughts—I couldn’t have things both ways. I had already let things go way too far between us. It was time for me to wise up.

  Scrunching down into my sleeping bag, I prodded at the bag of clothes I was using for a pillow until it wasn’t quite so lumpy. Above me I could just see the Southern Cross from beyond the overhang. Bits of gravel dust blew in with the breeze, peppering me as I tried to get comfortable, but I refused to turn my face away from the view of the sky. Was Harry watching the same stars I was? And my mother? Was the river music as sad there as it was here? Rather than try to block it out, I decided for once to just let the music fill me, riding its currents to see where they would lead me. Burning tears erupted as I knew they would and I was too tired to bother fighting them. The new approach didn’t help me sleep, but it did replace my confusion and anxiety with numb emotional exhaustion. Hours passed. Slower than a school speech night.

  ‘Lainie?’ The softest of whispers overlaid the backdrop of cicada and frog songs. Had he been awake the whole time too? Twitchy heartbeats had to be firmly disciplined. The two of us spending the night alone in the bush was dangerous enough without me giving him any more of the wrong reactions.

  I kept my voice to a low whisper so it wouldn’t betray the longing I felt. Or the sadness. If he tried to console me again I was going to cave for sure. ‘Yeah?’ was all I managed to breathe.

  ‘Happy New Year.’

  That was when I realised that it was the first New Year’s Eve I hadn’t spent with Noah.

  The following morning over breakfast, we showed Aunt Lily the photos of the cave paintings Tessa had emailed me. She was appropriately awestruck, and kept glancing sideways at me as if trying to come to term
s with the idea that I really was descended from an ancient Indigenous clan. And I wasn’t the pale-skinned green-eyed Cherub.

  ‘Harry said hi,’ I remembered. I had briefly outlined our meeting with him but found it difficult to give her any details. She was content to know that he was all right and understood why I couldn’t say more.

  ‘Do you think he’ll come home?’ she asked carefully.

  ‘He wants to but he really is stuck. We’re working on it, though. We just need to find …’ I struggled to spit out the words. All the specific details were getting tangled in my throat with my two-minute noodles.

  Aunt Lily just shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. Just make sure you stay safe.’

  It was so frustrating. She might have had a brilliant suggestion for getting into Eden but I couldn’t even talk about it. Bane was no use; he wasn’t likely to offer any ideas. Just as I decided I would have to go and see Noah, the phone rang. It was Sarah again. Apparently she’d called the night before and a couple of times that morning already. It made sense. She would have felt Harry suddenly turn up near Eden and then disappear again, so I told her I would come over and explain.

  When I arrived, she led me to the far end of the backyard to talk, away from any prying ears.

  ‘Your aunt told me you and Bane set up a meeting with Harry. I felt him return briefly last night. How did you manage it? How did he get past the rock fall?’ she asked.

  ‘The rock fall is still there, right in front of the Event Horizon. Harry just managed to fit between them but it was very hot, so he couldn’t stay long,’ I explained. When I told her how we had managed to get a message to him, she snorted at the irony of Harry having to use a phone.

  ‘So is he going to come home? He never liked the idea of crossing over after what happened to your mother. I’m surprised he’s stayed there this long.’