You're Only Dead

by Jack Parker

  "On second thought, I guess it was a little silly of me to bring towels to a hotel, wasn't it?" Emery held one up.

  "Yes, well you're a little silly."

  Emery stuck his tongue between his teeth and turned back to his task. "Want me to unpack your things as well?"

  "No, don't bother with that. I'll get to it."

  Emery shrugged and plugged in his mobile charger before tucking the device itself into the nightstand drawer. He began picking through the assortment of lotions and things that were laid out on top of it courtesy of the hotel. "Too late to do much, isn't it? You want to get something to eat now?"

  Kurt rubbed at one of his aching shoulders and shook his head. "I think I might turn in."

  "Aw, you tired?" Emery looked over at him and frowned. "You alright? Bit sore?"

  "A bit," Kurt agreed. "I don't mean to be a bore."

  "Naw, you're not. I'll clear this up so you can sleep." He gestured to the suitcase and kept poking through miniature bottles. Then he paused. "Actually, I've got a better idea. Take off your clothes."

  Kurt didn't know how well he could perform with how pathetically drained he felt at the moment, but had a very hard time passing up an opportunity to do so when prompted. "Does the beach make you randy, then?"

  Emery snorted. "No, just humor me. Take off your clothes and come here."

  Kurt stripped languidly as Emery piled his remaining things back into his bag and tossed it off the bed to make room. He then climbed on top of it and beckoned Kurt over, who obeyed. "What's this, then?"

  "Lie down on your stomach here."

  "Why?" Kurt asked, but continued to do as he was told.

  Emery waited until Kurt was lying down before laying his hands on his back. "What do you think? I'll get that stiffness out of you."

  "Don't bother with that, come here. Just lie down with me."

  "No, I'm too wired to lie down. This is what I want to do. Don't micromanage my vacation." He flicked the back of Kurt's head. "Besides, I'm really good at this. Now draw a deep breath and release it slowly."

  Kurt grunted and laid his head down as Emery straddled him, hands smoothing up along his back a moment to wait for the exhalation before pressing hard at a shoulder blade. A loud crack resulted and Kurt twitched in shock.

  "Ah," Emery said. "Knew that was there."

  Kurt rolled the shoulder painlessly. "That's much better. Thank you." He shifted, but Emery pinned him down.

  "Just you learn some patience, I'm not done yet."

  Kurt flattened himself in submission and watched as Emery reached over to snag a bottle of oil from the nearby nightstand. It felt odd and smelled heavily of coconut when it hit his skin but he'd let Emery have his way. Strong hands kneaded deeply into his back and he began to very much enjoy it after a moment or two. He didn't actually know what a massage was supposed to feel like, but this was really very nice. Emery's hands gradually moved down to his lower back and Kurt groaned quietly into the bed.

  "Told you I was good," Emery boasted.

  Good he was. After a long while of diligently loosening every muscle in Kurt's back, he moved down, working every other bit of him. From head to foot, from shoulder to fingertips, until an hour later and Kurt felt like he was boneless, so relaxed he could hardly feel his limbs any longer. At some point he was asleep. The last thing he registered was fingers carding affectionately through his hair as he dropped off.

  Kurt awoke feeling like his body was new. He sat up in bed, nude with only a sheet around his waist as he marveled at this. Every ache in his thirty-four year-old body was gone, even longstanding ones. He felt like he could do a thousand pushups or run a bloody marathon or something, he thought as he flexed his hand in front of his face. Whatever Emery had done to him made him ten years younger. He looked over at the man dozing on the other side of the bed and was tempted to pounce on him and burn off all of this rejuvenation, but this was Emery's vacation and he wanted him well-rested. He leaned over and stroked his face. God, he made Kurt feel incredible. All the time, in new ways and old ways, effortlessly. He was terribly glad he'd brought him here for some fun. Emery certainly deserved that. Kurt thought about this for a moment before formulating some plans of his own and carefully slipping out of bed so as not to wake him up. Then he threw on some clothes and snuck out of their room.

  He returned an hour later and Emery was awake. He was sitting on the couch in their hotel room watching television and eating from a platter of fresh fruit, hair endearingly mussed. He looked up as Kurt reentered the room and smiled. "There you are. Where'd you run off to so early?"

  Kurt came over and flopped down on his back, head in Emery's lap and making him squawk with laughter. "That's for me to know."

  "Oh?" Emery raised an eyebrow down at him. "Keeping secrets, are we?"

  "What were you thinking of doing today, then?"

  Emery bit down on a pineapple spear and rubbed Kurt's chest with a hand. "I don't know. Maybe see the sights. There's so much to do here—you know we can whale watch? I've never seen a whale before. Or snorkel. See all the little fishes."

  Kurt nodded and opened his mouth as Emery pushed a piece of mango into it. He chewed it and swallowed. "Well I'll tell you what. We'll do whatever you want. Swim, dive, build your sandcastles," he jabbed Emery's stomach, drawing another laugh, "But come six o'clock I've made us plans."

  "What sort of plans?"

  "You'll see. Something nice." He pawed at Emery lazily for more fruit.

  Emery snorted. "Well aren't you cute?"

  "Mm hm."

  Emery grinned and bit off a chunk of pineapple in his teeth before bending down to deposit it into Kurt's mouth with a kiss.

  Emery was right; there was quite a bit do to here. Kurt hadn't really thought about that. He supposed he just assumed they'd be sitting on a beach in the sun the whole time, but for the rest of the daylight hours they were out and about browsing local shops and viewing the reefs and things like that. Emery absorbed the new sights as if they were his life source. How he loved the new and adventurous. It seemed awfully sad, in some respects, to be keeping him cooped up in some cold Montreal flat for most of his days when he looked so happy here…Kurt thought about this for a while with a nagging pinch of guilt until Emery latched onto him suddenly, fastening a shell bracelet around his wrist that he'd bought a pair of and insisted with strange delight that it perfectly completed their image of utterly clueless tourists. Kurt absolutely hated it and Emery couldn't stop laughing at his face.

  Things were winding down quite nicely around the evening, when Kurt had his surprise planned. He was sure that Emery would like it. The chatterbox was full of questions as always, but Kurt would say nothing. Eventually he simply pushed Emery in front of him, covering his mouth with a hand to shush him and leading him into the restaurant. Emery gently bit Kurt's hand and pulled it away, looking around the space with awe. It was almost entirely made of glass windows overseeing the beach. The sunset shone through, bathing the room in golden light, and it was completely deserted. Emery went to the windows immediately and looked down at the water to see a long whale tail slapping into the depths. "Oh," he said in wonder.

  Kurt stood back, watching him happily. "You did say you wanted to see the whales."

  Emery looked around. "This is lovely—why are we the only ones here?"

  "Because I made sure of it."

  Emery blinked at him.

  "Didn't I promise to wine and dine you?" Kurt smiled. "I thought you might like a very fine candlelit dinner all to ourselves. Perhaps you'd find it romantic."

  Emery suddenly grabbed at himself, plucking at his shirt. "Oh god, I feel underdressed for this venue."

  Kurt beckoned him over and gestured to a table. "No. I think it's just right. You look like an utterly clueless tourist."

  Emery grinned and sat down.

  They ate as the sun was fading. Conversation was easy. Emery talked about his trip to Italy and his terrible butchering of the language, abo
ut the time in Paris he snuck off from his mother and got caught up with a bunch of school girls who dragged him all over the city and perfected his French vulgarity. He talked about the time his father had tried to take him on a long car trip to the countryside just for fun, but the car had broken down three hours from home and they'd had to sit in the car in the pouring rain to wait for his mother, but that was alright because his dad used the time to teach him how to play poker. Kurt didn't have many fun stories to share in kind. Instead he ended up talking about books he read as a child that he'd taken to, but Emery listened with rapt attention as he nibbled his lobster and drank very good wine as if he were relaying something fascinating.

  "Did I do alright, then?" Kurt asked, eyes scanning the empty restaurant. "I was hoping you'd like it."

  "I love it. You're brilliant," Emery assured. He took another sip of wine, but it was still his first glass. No reason to get tipsy. Kurt hadn't drank much either, sensing the unspoken agreement that tonight would be better spent sober. "I wasn't sure about this whole vacation business, but you were right. We needed this. I'm having a very nice time so far."

  "So am I," Kurt said, leaning back. He folded his arms and looked again around the place. It was softly lit, quiet music was playing from somewhere, and it felt very high class. Something felt very right about this setting. Natural. Strangely important. He couldn't quite figure what, but as he looked across the table at Emery he felt like he should be saying something here. Making some sort of gesture. It was a perfectly cliché setting in which people proposed marriage, after all. Kurt stilled as that thought hit him, a mouthful of wine sitting idle on his tongue. He must've been like that for a while because Emery was staring at him.

  "You alright?"

  Kurt swallowed and pulled his glass away from his lips. "Of course."

  After dinner it was only a short walk to their hotel room. Emery made his amorous intentions known by remaining mostly silent and giving Kurt those impish looks here and there. When they arrived at their door Emery pulled out his key card and Kurt leaned forward to loom ominously over him from behind as he fiddled with the lock. Emery smirked and they slid inside. Kurt shut the door as Emery walked over and flung his mobile and billfold onto the nightstand. Kurt turned to flick on the light, but Emery was suddenly there, stopping him with his own hand and reaching up to kiss him passionately. Kurt growled and pulled him in close. He still had boundless energy and was going to make good use of every last ounce of it.

  Emery pulled him further into the room and Kurt quickly undid his own belt before tugging Emery's shirt off and giving him a gentle shove onto the bed. Sex was normally spontaneous between them and that was the way Kurt liked it, but he couldn't help having planned this one from the day's beginning. He was going to take all the time in the world to pleasure every inch of his lover's fit little body. Emery's eyes were wicked in the dim light as Kurt pinned his arms down and ravaged him, dragging kisses from his neck to his navel until his recipient was squirming.

  Emery sighed deeply as Kurt moved down to tug his pants away. "Du geiler Hengst…"

  "Es ist nicht meine Schuld," Kurt replied throatily as he placed a teasing bite on his well-defined hip. "Du siehst sehr gut aus, mein Tiger."

  Emery quickly sat up, forcing Kurt up to his knees to kiss him. After a minute he pulled back and began opening up Kurt's pants, drawing out his thickening cock and grasping it. Kurt looked down at him with lusting approval as he stroked and pulled. Emery's face was alert and eager, eyes darting between his hand and the nightstand before he reached back to take the bottle of oil in his other. Emery applied it vigorously and Kurt hissed. That was nice.

  Moments later he had Emery's legs resting up at his hips as he pumped steadily into him. Emery lay on his back, arms outstretched above his head and wrists crossed in a way that mimicked being bound and gave Kurt a lovely view of his firm, tensing arms. His head was turned to the side, eyes closed, breathing slow and heavy between soft, deep moans. The heat of the air around them caused sweat to form and trail down his naked body. It was a perfect image.

  "Don't stop," Emery whispered suddenly, eyes still closed and brow clenching. Kurt kept his pace consistent and could feel the muscles of Emery's legs stiffen up in his hands. He watched with admiration as Emery's untouched cock pulsed, spurting a straight line of pearly white fluid up his chest. Emery groaned and gripped the pillow above his hands hard. Another smaller stream followed the first, gravity pulling it down to pool on his chest. Kurt had to very consciously focus not to lose control. He closed his eyes, slowing his thrusts a little and easing back from that abrupt push towards his edge.

  Emery relaxed onto the bed with a satisfied purr in the back of his throat, rocking his hips to meet Kurt's rhythm helpfully as he enjoyed the remaining wash of endorphins. Kurt kept fucking him like that for a good long while. He reveled in the warmth, the pressure, the beautifully aching rise to climax that he often overlooked in favor of fast, intense gratification. Emery took it gladly. His face was a little spacey, eyes glazed, the quirk of a smile on his lips as he gazed up at Kurt. After a while, however, his eyes fell shut again and his expression began to lean back towards concentration. Kurt watched as Emery's tongue darted out to wet his lips and for some reason that was too much. The pressure rose, the muscles of his backside tensed, and he came well and hard. He bent over, moaning in powerful relief as the waves crashed over him and he poured stream after stream of his seed into Emery's welcoming body.

  His eyes opened when he felt Emery's hand stroking up and down his arm to see him looking up with a pleasant smile. Kurt smiled back and gently unsheathed himself before leaning down over him. He nuzzled Emery's cheek and drew another deep kiss from his lips. Emery reached up to trace fingers on his skin appreciatively. Normally this would be the point where Kurt would lie down and take a breather, especially after such a test of his endurance, but he still felt miraculously playful and was reluctant to stop lavishing Emery with love bites. He moved down to Emery's chest, glancing up at him before pushing out his tongue and cleaning a streak of cooling ejaculate from his skin while his lover watched. Emery blinked down as Kurt licked up a bit more and groaned, reaching out to pet his head. "Fuck, that's hot."

  "Is it?" Kurt asked. He continued down and stroked away more of his semen with the broadside of his tongue. Emery shuddered beneath him. Kurt eventually found his way to the source of the mess to discover, with some surprise, that Emery was still completely erect. Kurt experimentally mouthed the tip and Emery cried out quietly. He took this as a green light and downed him whole.

  "Oh—oh, shit, oh…" Emery babbled in shock.

  Kurt drew up haughtily and fondled him with a hand. "You didn't think I was finished with you, did you?"

  "I thought I was finished with me," Emery admitted hoarsely. "But please, please keep going."

  Kurt enveloped him once more and began thoroughly stimulating him. He enjoyed the stammered curses he could hear this induce. Emery didn't usually seek oral service, so Kurt was very interested to hear him beg for it. He kept at it while letting his hand wander downwards. Two of his fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they reentered Emery's body. Inside he still felt slick with Kurt's release. Emery let out a startled noise.

  "Oh my god, Kurt," he panted.

  Kurt felt ravenous. Within him was a devious need to see Emery completely fall apart and he was sure he'd just found the means. He crooked his fingers, massaging firmly as he simultaneously picked up the speed of his sucking. Emery's body jerked and spasmed around him as if panicking under the intensity but he held firm in light of the guttural rumbles and quivering whines Emery was making beneath him. A minute later those whines turned to yells.

  "Fuck! Ah, fuck! Oh, more, yes, more, yes, oh, fuck, ah—" Emery whimpered, jittering and writhing in pleasure.

  Kurt brought him along faster, faster, until he heard a shrill cry and Emery was grabbing at his shoulder to try and warn him, but it was too late. Kurt's mouth
filled with warm fluid and he began to systematically gulp it away as it came up with a surge of triumph. Emery was quaking around him and moaning out long, heartfelt praise. Kurt eased off when he was sure he'd coaxed out the last of him and licked his lips.

  Emery calmed at last, lying back with his fingers clutched in his sweat-soaked hair and struggling to catch his breath. He was a wreck and Kurt was simmering with pride. There was a certain sense of accomplishment in making a perfectly exhausted disaster of a bedmate nearly nine years his junior. Emery began laughing quietly in amazement, as he sometimes did after very good sex, and Kurt dropped down next to him, totally sated.

  A while later, when his body had recovered and began to feel heavy, he lay in the moonlight with Emery snared up in his arms and thought about how nice it felt to have the slight ocean breeze rolling in from the open patio doors, about how peaceful it was to hear the soft chirping of nighttime insects in the darkness. All things considered, this vacation was probably the most fun he'd ever had, and this was only the first day. His normal week consisted of chasing leads and making plans and fostering what was a frankly stressful and tense daily environment. He had to be serious. The things they did were dangerous and there was no room for lenience. Kurt went through this routine without thinking, because this is what he'd always done, but it was only with the chance to fully unwind—stop worrying, stop planning, and enjoy himself—that he realized just how hectic and taxing his life tended to be. Their life tended to be.

  Kurt rested his chin up on Emery's shoulder where he lay holding him from behind, thoughts drifting curiously back to dinner that night. This trip so far had made him feel so normal. Like a typical man in a typical relationship with typical wants and needs, but it also forced him to reflect on all others of a typical man's considerations. He'd been with Emery for a little over a year now. He loved him. There was no future without him, no plans or thoughts, however frivolous, that did not include him. A typical man in this situation, when faced with total certainty about a romantic partner, generally contemplated cementing his commitment.