The Cupid Conundrum

by Lucy True

  Something was wrong with the townspeople of Rock Grove and she had to find out why.

  Chapter Six

  Seeing not one, but two strange couples wandering past her finally galvanized Burgundy into action. She trotted down the steps and followed the same path the Chief and Martha took. Running didn’t catch her up to them, but it did allow her to see them enter the diner. Burgundy braced her hands against her knees and took a moment to catch her breath.

  “I am so... out of shape...” she huffed. Not that she’d ever had a need to exert herself beyond shelving. Still, she made a mental note to do some push-ups or something from time to time. Maybe. One of these days.

  Even as she panted for breath, her gaze locked onto yet another odd couple sauntering down the street. And then another and another.

  “What is this even?” She drew another lungful of cold autumn air, her mind whirling with possibilities. As soon as the stitch in her side stopped burning so much, she straightened and walked to the diner. Looking in through the window showed her what she figured was the usual Monday night group. She usually only visited the diner for breakfast and the occasional lunch. Not sure what to expect, she pushed the door open and walked inside.

  “Hey there,” Charlotte said from behind the counter. Two waitresses were handling the actual dining room on the opposite side of the wall that split it off from the front door and counter.

  Burgundy lifted herself up on her tiptoes and leaned to her left to peer around the opening into the dining room.

  “Uh, Burg? Are you okay?”

  “No, I am definitely not okay.” Burgundy approached the counter and crooked her finger to draw Charlotte closer. As soon as her best friend leaned in, Burgundy whispered, “Is the chief here?”

  Charlotte nodded.

  “With Martha?”

  “Yeah, in the back. They just ordered dinner.”

  “Right.” Burgundy rubbed her hand over her face and then clenched her fists against her forehead. “This is bad. Like, really bad. Or weird. One or the other. Both?”

  “Okay. Do you mind telling me what’s going on?” Charlotte gestured for Burgundy to sit on a stool and turned around to lift the pot of coffee off the coffeemaker. That dear, sweet woman. Burgundy wondered what it would be like to have a girlfriend who actually took care of her. Not one who hung out with her when it suited her, who won her over with snuggles and cupcakes, only to dump her a year later.

  Shaking off the growing Jenna resentment, she wrapped her hands around the cup and focused on the problem at hand. “Remember what I told you this morning about the chief and Al, and their crushes on Martha and Cass?”

  Charlotte smiled. “Oh, yeah. It’s kind of funny that Martha is here with the chief now, isn’t it?”

  “Funny, like absurdly funny. Martha would never date him. Ever. Think about it – Amazons don’t do dating. They don’t do dinner and a movie. When they want a man, they have him and then they’re done. Do you know what I mean?” Burgundy knew she could spell it out, but she hoped she wouldn’t have to. The idea of discussing sex with Charlotte caused something to flutter inside of her. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. Just... different, a reminder of how she’d felt when the diner owner gave her hand that comforting pat.

  “Oh, right.” Charlotte crossed her arms over the counter and bent over, her face only inches from Burgundy’s.

  Burgundy couldn’t help but swallow. She and Charlotte had trusted each other with all of their secrets since childhood. This wasn’t such an abnormal position for the two of them, to lean close and whisper to each other. But it had a different feeling, one Burgundy wanted desperately to shake.

  This isn’t right. Jenna just dumped me. I’m on the rebound. Charlotte’s my best friend. Did she always have such nice lips? No! Shut up, already!

  Burgundy had to reach into the tangle of crazy dominating her mind and find the one thing that mattered. “There’s no way Martha should be dating Chief Brandon,” she hissed. “She called me last night looking for an anti-love potion. I couldn’t find one, though.”

  “Did you try emailing Iris to ask if she has any stashed somewhere?”

  Holding up her index finger, Burgundy said, “She only made one and it was for Cass, who apparently expected it to be waiting for her. I’m pretty sure my aunt only made that one. I emailed her to ask, but who knows what she’s up to right now? Her sabbatical takes her to strange places and, from what I understand, they do some pretty intense stuff.”

  “They?” Charlotte asked, her brows drawing together.

  “Yeah, I mean, other witches. I guess. Anyway, my point is, checking her email falls low on the list of priorities during the sabbatical. The photo she sent showed that drinking is high on her list, but I’m going to let that go, I swear.”

  “A photo? I have to see this.”

  Burgundy would have loved to show it to Charlotte, but she tried to maintain her focus. “Later, I promise. There’s something else strange, though. I saw that kid – the one who’s always hanging out on the library steps after school, and he was holding hands with Principal Bingley’s son.”

  “The Bingley boy? He’s straight as an arrow. I don’t mean when it comes to girls, but, like school and stuff. The kid’s a Mathlete, for goodness sake.”

  “Precisely. You know how the whole good kid dating bad kid thing goes with high schoolers. It’s all very romantic in the movies, but not so much in real life.” Burgundy jabbed at the counter. “Something is totally off-kilter here, Char, and I can’t believe I’m the only one seeing it.”

  Charlotte chewed at her lower lip. “Hmm, actually, you aren’t the only one. I saw our favorite high school health teacher simpering up to Cragborn over at the VFW when I dropped off some lunches today.”

  “Whoa.” Burgundy held up her hand. “Miss Mason and Old Man Cragborn?” she said, unable to keep the disgust out of her voice.

  “Yeah. Now that I think about it, you’ve got a point. I’ve been seeing some weirdness around town, stuff that’s just plain wrong.” Even Charlotte, for all her sweetness and acceptance of the good, the bad, and the ugly, shuddered. “So what are you going to do? I mean, is this really your problem? Can’t you let everyone else figure it out?”

  It was a valid question, one Burgundy wished she could wave off with a “Nah, you know what? You’re right. They’re grown people. They can take care of themselves. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, how about some of that delicious looking chocolate cream pie?”

  Unfortunately, what had started as an awkward situation had escalated into outlandish. There was a difference between opposites attracting and unnatural pairings that had no basis in reality.

  Burgundy took in a deep breath and shook her head. “I can’t. Martha called last night specifically looking for an anti-love potion. She didn’t want to be in love with the chief and now, what, they’re dating? What if I’d been able to provide the potion? Would this have happened? Last night, she didn’t want this. And you know Martha. What are the odds she wants this now?”

  Something heavy filled the pit of her stomach. Whatever was going on no longer seemed confined to the two police officers, and Burgundy wondered if it would continue to escalate. Even in the familiar, wood-paneled comfort of the diner, the chief and Martha looked totally out of place together. No couple could be more mismatched than the two of them. The cloud of dread settling over Burgundy left her without an appetite, even for the chocolate cream pie.

  She’d had a responsibility to a client and she’d blown it. Big time. “I think it’s contagious or something,” she muttered, noticing other couples in the restaurant who also looked wrong together. “That or everyone is legitimately falling in love and I’m the only one doomed to be alone for the rest of my life. The universe is mocking me, laughing at me, and not even behind my back.”

  “Hey.” Charlotte squeezed both of her hands, her touch anchoring her in reality. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “How?” B
urgundy asked, pulling her gaze back to Charlotte’s. “How is it going to be okay? It only took a few days for me to get dumped, fail one of my aunt’s clients, and now I get to watch the strangest romances ever turn into something they probably shouldn’t.”

  “You didn’t fail her or anyone else. How could you foresee this would happen?” It was a reasonable question, one Burgundy wished she could answer.

  She nibbled at her own lower lip, mirroring Charlotte’s expression. “Cass,” she finally said. “She foresaw it.”

  “Cass sees a lot of things that turn out to be wrong.”

  “No.” Burgundy thought back to her conversation with Cassandra. “She sees a lot of things that turn out to be right, but not when we expect them to. She told me that she told my aunt to whip up an anti-love potion. Preferably several because, according to her, there was going to be a demand for them.”

  Charlotte straightened and looked down at her. “So, what does that mean?”

  “It means Cass saw a need for them. Not only for herself, but other people, too. But that was at least sometime last month, so if my aunt made a batch...” Burgundy propped her elbow on the counter and tapped her fingers against her lips. “If, and this is the biggest if ever, she made them, then they might be stored elsewhere. They’re pretty powerful, not to be messed with, so my aunt could have locked them away.”

  “But what are the odds she made more than one?” Charlotte asked.

  Burgundy blew out a breath that warmed her fingers and muttered against her hand, “Not good. Even if she trusted Cass’s prediction, love magick is not something we toy with. She might have made the one for Cass, because Cass found a way to convince her or had already paid her for it. Other than that, though...” Burgundy shrugged and pressed her knuckles even harder against her mouth. The more she tried to answer the questions, the more everything seemed to circle around in an endless loop in her mind.

  “Look.” Charlotte rested her hands on both of Burgundy’s shoulders and gave her a little shake. “At least you know you didn’t screw up. You couldn’t give Martha something your aunt didn’t have on hand. And you certainly couldn’t make her one because your potions, well...”

  “Endanger lives?” Burgundy supplied.

  “Aren’t exactly reliable,” her friend corrected her. “But so what? No one knew there was going to be a problem necessitating a couple of anti-love potions.”

  “Cass knew.”

  Charlotte offered her a sympathetic smile. “Maybe she knew something, but it’s not your responsibility to fix things now. Besides, maybe this is meant to be. Maybe we’re looking at things wrong. It’s only a few couples. Could it be the result of holiday loneliness? This time of year makes people do strange things. So think about that. It’s not like this is some weird love epidemic, right?”

  That sinking feeling in the pit of Burgundy’s stomach only grew heavier and she shook her head, not willing to answer the question. Rock Grove was weird, of course. That’s how their town rolled. But there was a fine line between a little offbeat and “What the hell?” After what she’d seen that afternoon, Burgundy knew someone or something had taken a mighty leap from one to the other.

  “Maybe it’s another witch causing this,” she muttered.

  “I doubt it. First of all, you’d feel their spellcasting, right?”

  That was a good point and Burgundy nodded.

  “Good. Second, think about how random it is. You’ve seen two couples, for sure, right?”

  Burgundy did some quick calculating in her head. “Plus two more out here, plus Mason and Cragborn, plus Al’s crush on Cass means at least five. There’s a few in your dining room I’m not too sure about, either.”

  “Okay, so that might be a disproportionately large number of new couplings, but it’s not all that off. It’s possible that these little romances aren’t caused by something external. It could actually be fate. Maybe Martha really wants someone else in her life. Maybe Chief Brandon doesn’t think she’s such a man-hater after all.” Charlotte patted Burgundy’s shoulder and said, “Look, I know you feel like something’s wrong here, but maybe it’s not. People get lonely with Thanksgiving looming. They want to find someone to spend it with. That or they get nostalgic and romantic. Either way, I don’t think this is as unnatural as you think it is. No one else seems the least bit concerned.”

  Charlotte’s little speech was enough to pull Burgundy out of her innermost thoughts and concede with a nod. In the end, Burgundy let Charlotte convince her to take home two hamburgers with fries, and a slice of that chocolate pie. At least her appetite seemed quick to rebound.

  She brought the food home and called to Arthur. The firedrake seemed delighted with his dinner, and Burgundy was glad Charlotte had pushed the food on her. It was the kind of thing she could get used to – a woman who wasn’t career-focused, but instead a hometown type who cared about family and friends. She hated that friendship precluded any other kind of relationship, even as she asked herself why it should.

  Because you got dumped only a few days ago, you’re miserable, and lonely. Besides, she’s just a friend. She’s not offering anything out of the ordinary with her food and sympathy, so stop reading into it.

  What really had her panties in a bunch was seeing Martha cozying up to a man after protesting so vehemently. Martha was a woman who knew what she wanted and what she didn’t want. It was one of the reasons Burgundy admired her so much. Even soaking in a steaming hot bath didn’t bring her any comfort or clarity, let alone stop her from mulling over the situation.

  Maybe Charlotte was right. People sought romance for all kinds of reasons, even people who appeared to repel each other for longer than Burgundy had been alive. Still, that didn’t make the entire situation any less weird. As she drifted off to sleep, Burgundy knew it was going to bug her until she got some answers.

  Chapter Seven

  Charlotte had been wrong after all, because on Tuesday afternoon as Burgundy stood across the street from the diner, she didn’t see five or six mismatched couples. Nearly every person on the street or in local establishments was hanging off of someone else’s arm, with few exceptions.

  The lunch hour was in full swing and so, apparently, were new relationships. Usually when Burgundy came into town, she saw one or two people walking down the street, but never so many couples. Oldies music played from the speakers on the lampposts at every corner of Main Street, something she normally enjoyed. Today, though, it only enhanced the surreal atmosphere.

  There was a spooky quality to seeing more couples than singles on the streets and when Burgundy entered the diner, every table was full.

  She hesitated in the doorway, looked at Charlotte, and said, “This ain’t right.”

  “Sorry.” Charlotte wiped her hands against the kitchen towel that always hung from her apron. “You’re meeting Sylvia for lunch, right? She’s in the dining room. Took the table in the back corner.”

  “Thanks. Um...” Burgundy glanced around and recoiled when she saw that even the table near the kitchen where the old guys usually sat every day was taken over by couples. “So what do you think about all of this?”

  “Well, I can tell you I think I is wrong. Something is rotten in Rock Grove.” Charlotte let out a sigh, one that asked Burgundy not to be the one to say “I told you so.”

  Despite the situation, Burgundy couldn’t help but chuckle. “So we agree that it’s a weird love epidemic?”

  “Weird love epidemic all the way.”

  Burgundy saluted her friend and then moved into the dining room. Although seeing all the couples was disconcerting, at least Sylvia was alone at the table. The children’s librarian looked as proper as ever, her curly brown hair pulled back in a bun and her turtleneck covered by a cardigan. Burgundy thought Sylvia probably had curves somewhere under there. The woman simply hid them. Considering the fact that she was a nymph, this was probably the better safe than sorry approach. Sylvia had a gentle spirit and was wonderful with children
, but men were another story altogether.

  “Hey.” Burgundy slid into the chair opposite Sylvia. “Where’s Marian?”

  “Around, I think. She should be in shortly.” Marian was the other library assistant and Sylvia’s niece, another nymph, though not nearly as sweet-tempered. The older woman shook her head and gestured at the other tables. “Can you believe this? What’s going on here? I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”

  Rather than ask how long that life had been – as rude a question to a supernatural woman as to a mortal one – Burgundy nodded in agreement. “Do you think it’s something in the water?”

  She meant it as a joke, but Sylvia seemed to take her seriously. The nymph closed her eyes and her nostrils flared a bit as she did... whatever it was that nymphs do. Burgundy supposed she was reaching out to touch nature, to ask it that same question.

  When Sylvia opened her eyes again, they were clear and focused. “No, definitely not. Our land is untainted.”

  Burgundy supposed that was good to know. “My money’s on some kind of magick,” she offered.

  “That’s certainly a possibility.”

  “Charlotte didn’t think so at first.” Burgundy rolled her eyes and looked across the room, through the doorway to the other side of the diner. Charlotte was chatting with one of the older regulars at the counter while the man sipped his coffee.

  “What was her theory?” Sylvia asked.

  “She thought it could be a totally natural phenomenon, that everyone is coupling up because of the holidays. But even she’s not so sure now.”

  Sylvia pursed her lips and raised one eyebrow. It was the same stern, yet gentle look she gave an overly loud child at the library. It was a look that said, “Now you stop that, young man, and please behave.” Only this time, Burgundy hoped it meant she also thought Charlotte was off the mark.