The Very Thought of You

by Iris Morland

  The operator asked for her name and address in a calm voice before confirming what Megan had seen.

  “An officer is on his way, ma’am,” the woman said. “But call back if you see anything else or the situation escalates.”

  “Okay. Okay.” Megan pressed a hand to her pounding heart, terror making her almost dizzy. “How far away is the officer?”

  “He’ll be there in five minutes. I’ll stay on the line with you until he arrives.”

  Those five minutes felt like hours, days, years, as the operator kept her panic at bay. But when Megan heard the knock on her front door, she almost jumped out of her skin. She cowered underneath her window, unable to move.

  “Megan, it’s me, Caleb,” Caleb called through the door. “Are you okay? Megan, are you in there?”

  “The officer is here,” she told the operator as she slowly got to her feet.

  “Please confirm that it is Officer Thornton,” the operator replied.

  She cracked the door open, and when she saw his face, relief made her dizzy. “Caleb. Oh my God.” She spoke into her phone, “It’s Officer Thornton. Thank you for your help.” After hanging up, she couldn’t find the words to thank Caleb for coming.

  He didn’t move to get her to open the door further, instead speaking in that calm, capable voice that she knew he used when he was on duty. “I’m going to case the perimeter of your house. Stay inside.”

  She locked the front door and sat down on the couch only yards away, her hands clenched into fists. Gary eventually emerged from under the couch to sit beside her, and she petted his fur to soothe her nerves.

  She didn’t jump when Caleb knocked again, but it did set her heart pounding once again. He called out her name, confirming it was him.

  This time, she opened the door fully to let him inside.

  “It’s all clear,” he said, but he didn’t move to come inside. “The perp probably disappeared the second he realized that you’d seen him.” His voice gentled as he asked, “May I come inside? I need to take your statement.”

  She nodded, her mind barely working at this point. She found herself sitting on her couch with Caleb sitting in an armchair adjacent, and she answered his questions as best she could. He was patient yet thorough, and she recounted what she’d seen as best she could.

  Gary climbed into her lap, which helped her anxiety a little. After he’d gotten what he’d needed, Caleb frowned down at his notepad.

  “What is it?” Megan asked. She petted Gary too hard, which earned her a brief swat and a swishing tail.

  “Only that more than likely, this is connected to your bakery’s robbery, although I don’t have a motive to go off of.” He sounded frustrated. “Are you sure there isn’t anyone who would consider you an enemy? Someone that would be angry with you?”

  She couldn’t help but laugh, but it came out more like a sob. “The only person I seem to piss of regularly is sitting in front of me.”

  That earned her a small smile. “I’ll call this into the station, especially to make sure there haven’t been any other incidents that are similar lately.”

  He left to make his call, and Megan found herself unable to figure out what she should do. For some reason, the basics had fled her mind. She realized that she hadn’t even turned on a light, and that the only light was coming from the streetlamps outside. Moving Gary off of her lap, she flipped on a lamp before sitting back down. Should she call somebody? Sara? Her mom? She didn’t want to call anyone—except Caleb.

  She hadn’t known how much she’d wanted him to be the officer that arrived until she’d seen him at her door. His presence reassured her like no one else’s would. He would keep her safe without adding to her anxiety like her sister would. Sara would try to cosset and bundle her up in metaphorical wool until Megan couldn’t breathe. Caleb, though, treated the situation with a calmness that Megan had needed.

  “Okay, that’s done,” Caleb said as he returned. “The next question is: do you have any place to stay tonight? I would rather you didn’t stay here alone tonight. Can you stay with your sister?”

  Megan clutched a throw pillow as she shook her head. “I don’t want to bother her.”

  “A friend? Your mom?”

  She just kept shaking her head. “I don’t want to stay with anyone else. I don’t want people to make a big deal out of this.” For some stupid reason, she felt embarrassed. For whatever reason, life had decided to hand her a bad deal, but the last thing she wanted was anyone to pity her. If Megan despised anything, it was pity.

  Caleb let out a sigh. “Obviously I’m not going to force you to call anyone, but you staying here by yourself is not a good idea. This guy isn’t going to stop, and once he sees that you’re by yourself again, he’ll use that to his advantage. Besides, looking at this house, it would be easy for an intruder to get inside.”

  Her eyes widened. “What?”

  He seemed to regret that he’d said anything, but he admitted, “The window at the back of the house? It was unlocked. Since you’re at ground level, it would be easy to cut the screen and climb through. The backdoor, too. You could break the glass, unlock the door, and get inside in seconds.”

  “That’s…terrible.” She clutched the pillow harder. Gary hopped up next to her again and began to knead her thigh. “How did I never think of that before?”

  “Because you shouldn’t have to. This is usually a safe town. That being said, it isn’t right now for you. So if you aren’t willing to stay with someone, I’ll stay here tonight with you instead.”

  She stilled. Staring at Caleb—his expression completely serious—she couldn’t believe he’d stay here. In her house. At night. Like some kind of…boyfriend.

  Her throat closed.

  “No, no, you don’t have to—that’s not necessary. I’ll be fine. I’ll lock the window, and I’ll even lock my bedroom door. That guy is long gone.” She didn’t even know what she was saying, but she knew one thing: she couldn’t have Caleb in her house. He was already too close in every other sense. Having him sitting on her couch or using her kitchen or, even worse, going into her bedroom?

  “I’ll sleep on your couch.” He moved to touch the back of her hand. “It’s no trouble. Really. But I’m not going to leave you alone like this.”

  She realized with a start that he wasn’t wearing his police uniform, which meant he wasn’t technically on duty. He’d taken the call when he didn’t have to. Her heart flip-flopped in her chest.

  How could she ever escape Caleb Thornton when he did things like this?

  “Okay,” she murmured. “Fine. You can stay. Let me go get blankets and pillows…” She looked at his outfit—jeans and a sweater—and asked, “And maybe something to wear? Although I don’t have any men’s clothes here…”

  He grinned. “It’s fine. I won’t be sleeping anyway.”

  That admission didn’t help her nerves one bit. She wouldn’t be sleeping tonight either, not with Caleb only feet away in her living room. She hurried away into the hall closet to pull out a stack of blankets and pillows and even a towel and washcloth, in case he wanted to shower. Frozen, she couldn’t stop the image of Caleb, showering, naked, from appearing in her head.

  This is the worst idea of all time, she thought frantically. She tossed the towel and washcloth back into the closet before she could think about Caleb being naked anymore.

  I’m losing my mind. Completely losing it. Somebody check me into the asylum because apparently I can only make very poor life choices. She almost burst out laughing, but she covered her mouth before the sound emerged.

  She handed Caleb the blankets and pillows once she’d found some modicum of calm. To her amusement, her absence had resulted in Gary deciding that Caleb was his newest lap to sit on.

  “What kind of cat is this?” Caleb asked as Gary proceeded to knead his leg. He winced when the cat got a little too close to his crotch for comfort. “And why is he torturing me like this?”

  Megan smiled for the
first time in what felt like ages. “Have you never had a cat before? No? Well, they do that when they feel safe. When they’re kittens they knead their mothers when they’re nursing. It’s something leftover from babyhood, I guess.”

  “Huh.” Gary finally turned in multiple circles before settling onto Caleb’s lap. “Why is his face weird like that?”

  “His face is beautiful!” She bent down to pet Gary behind his silken ears. A rumbling purr began to emerge from his small body. “Don’t listen to him, Gary. It’s his face that’s weird.”

  “Is it? I’ll have to take that up with my parents.”

  Megan looked up, only to realize that she was inches from Caleb and that at this angle, he could look down her shirt with ease. She blushed and lurched away.

  She saw his green eyes twinkle, his mouth twisting into a small smile.

  “Well, I’m going to get ready for bed.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “Even if it’s only nine o’clock. Um, do you need anything else?”

  “I’m good.” He petted Gary with slow strokes.

  She couldn’t stop herself from wishing she were that cat, which only increased her discomfort. Before she could do something really stupid, she hurried from the room.

  8

  Caleb heard the water turn on in Megan’s bathroom, and he almost groaned aloud. Was she taking a bath? A shower? Either way, she’d be naked, and only a room away. He gritted his teeth as the inevitable images of her wet, naked, and flushed from the heat of her bath filled his mind.

  “Don’t do this right now,” he muttered to himself. Gary swiveled his ears at the sound, especially when Caleb stopped petting him. He continued the petting, mostly because he wasn’t sure the cat wouldn’t get its revenge on his balls if he did something it didn’t like.

  He hadn’t told Megan he was staying here just so he could be a creep. This was what he told himself, but he knew that deep down, he’d wanted to be the one to stay here. To protect her from the threat outside, and, yes, to just be in the same place as her. It was like a sickness. He’d already kissed her this week, and now he was going to be on her couch all night while she lay in her own bed. What did she wear to bed? Pajamas? Lingerie? Nothing?

  Get ahold of yourself, he told himself. You’re here to keep her safe and nothing else.

  His mind knew what he should be doing, but his body wanted something else entirely.

  He turned on the TV, but even some drama couldn’t keep him occupied. He only took in Megan’s house—a small but well-maintained one-story bungalow that exuded a warmth that Caleb had never felt at his own childhood home. The furniture wasn’t brand-new, the TV was a few years old, and the carpet was rather worn, but it was somehow better than the glittering coldness of his parents’ living room. Caleb took in the framed photos on the wall, the romance novels scattered across the coffee table, the smell of cinnamon and lemon that permeated the air. It was homey, he decided. Comfortable.

  The bright blue bookshelf, filled with various cookbooks and novels, drew his gaze. He realized the entire space was colorful, and it seemed to be exactly as he would’ve imagined Megan Flannigan’s house: bright and well-loved.

  When she emerged from the bathroom, her hair wet, with her wearing nothing but a tank top and short pajama bottoms, Caleb couldn’t stop himself from turning into some kind of hunting dog, suddenly on point and on alert. She was beautiful, her skin creamy, her red hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. He drank her in, from the curve of her neck to the bright purple polish on her toes.

  He swallowed against a suddenly dry throat.

  “Oh good, you found the remote. You want anything to eat? Drink? I’m hungry now for some reason. I guess being terrified brings out your appetite?” she babbled, and Caleb found it so charming. The only reason he didn’t take her into his arms and kiss her was because he still had a cat on his lap. Oh, and it would be a terrible idea, because he and Megan could never be what he would want them to be.

  “I’m fine,” he said.

  She blinked at his terseness. “Okay, well, holler if you need anything.”

  He listened to her putter around in the kitchen. The smell of cheese filled the air, and his mouth watered. He’d barely eaten anything at the Thornton family dinner that night, and he hadn’t realized how hungry he was until now. Gently moving Gary onto the couch cushion beside him—Gary glared but decided to give himself a bath right then—Caleb followed Megan into the kitchen.

  He leaned against the doorframe and watched her: she flipped a quesadilla over before taking a whistling kettle off the stove. If he let himself, he could imagine watching her do this all the time, like they were together. His heart did that obnoxious flip flop inside his chest, but he couldn’t stop himself from imagining what it would be like to be with her. Would she cook for him? Or would she tell him to fend for himself? He grinned at that. Megan wouldn’t coddle anyone—except maybe the cat currently licking itself on her couch.

  When she went to a nearby cabinet, she finally noticed him standing there. Jumping a little, she dropped the box of teabags she’d just pulled down. Caleb went to her and picked up the box the same moment she bent down to retrieve them.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you,” he mumbled. They both stood, their gazes locked on each other. The hairs on Caleb’s arms rose, and the tension became unbearably thick. When he placed the box in her palm, he couldn’t stop himself from brushing his fingers against her hand before drawing away.

  “It’s okay. Are you hungry? Or do you want some tea?”

  She looked away and put distance between them, and Caleb felt the space like a hole in his chest.

  “You have anything stronger than tea?” he asked.

  At that, she paled a little, and she wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t keep alcohol in the house,” was all she said. She flipped off the stove and placed her quesadilla on a plate, her movements jerky, like she was distracted.

  Caleb instantly cursed himself. Good job, jackass. She’d gotten arrested for public intoxication, and her mother had suffered from alcoholism, so it stood to reason Megan would forgo drinking altogether. She’s a better person than I am, he thought morosely.

  “Sorry,” was all he said. “Tea would be great. Where are the cups?”

  She pointed to a cabinet to his right. Pulling down two mugs, he poured the hot water from the kettle and added teabags to both. He almost commented that a quesadilla and tea seemed like an odd combination to him, but he found it so completely Megan-like that it made him smile.

  When his stomach growled, Megan looked up from the mug of tea she was sipping. “You sure about not being hungry?”

  “I could eat,” he admitted, “but I’ll make something for myself.”

  She shrugged. “Suit yourself. There’s ramen in the pantry. Not sure I trust you to cook anything more complicated than that.”

  That did elicit a grin from him, and before he knew it, they were in the living room eating their meals and watching TV, Gary the cat settled between them. They didn’t talk, but they didn’t need to. Caleb had never felt this comfortable in anyone’s house before. It was a strange sensation, he had to admit, sitting in Megan’s living room and drinking tea and watching late-night talk shows.

  Before long, though, Megan began to drift off, and he took her mug from her hand to set it on the coffee table. Gathering her into his arms, he carried her to bed, settling her underneath the covers. She curled into a little ball, and Caleb couldn’t stop himself from kissing her on the forehead before he left.

  Megan heard a crash, which jolted her awake. It took her a moment to realize she was in her own bed, with the lights off. Had she gone to bed? The last thing she remembered was Caleb taking her mug of tea from her hand while they’d been sitting on the couch together.

  Her heart raced as she listened. Eventually, she let out the breath she’d been holding. It was just a dream. I was dreaming and something crashed in my dream. But as she reassured herself with those words,
she knew she wasn’t going to fall asleep again. She stared up at the ceiling, trying not to listen for movement in the living room. Was Caleb asleep? Or was he staring up at the ceiling just like she was?

  She also realized that her nightly feline companion wasn’t curled up next to her like he always was. With a frown, she got out of bed to search for Gary. She tiptoed into the living room. The TV was still on, providing a measure of light, and she saw that Caleb was reclined on the couch with Gary on his chest, his tail swishing.

  Caleb saw her and was about to sit up, but she shook her head.

  “I was looking for Gary,” she explained. A blush climbed up her cheeks as she realized how lame of an excuse that was. “He always sleeps with me.”

  Gary’s ears twitched at the sound of her voice, but he didn’t awaken. Stretching out a leg, he almost swiped Caleb on the chin as he extended his claws.

  “Apparently he’s my new best friend.” Caleb’s voice was wry, but he didn’t move to shoo the cat away. Instead, he gently picked up Gary as he sat up, placing the cat in his lap. Gary was in such a deep sleep that he didn’t even notice the chest-to-lap transfer.

  Megan’s mouth twitched from trying not to laugh.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” Caleb’s voice was low, concerned. Megan couldn’t stop herself from sitting down next to him, even though a small voice inside her head warned that she should go back to her bedroom and lock her door for good measure.

  Not because she was afraid of Caleb. She was afraid of herself.

  “I heard a noise, but I was dreaming. You couldn’t sleep either?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t need a lot of sleep. What were you dreaming about?”

  She hesitated, not sure she should say anything. Telling him about this would be another form of intimacy, and hadn’t she told herself that that would be a terrible idea?

  But more and more, she wanted to believe she and Caleb wouldn’t be a terrible idea. She’d avoided him when she’d believed he wasn’t interested in her. Things had changed—at least, she hoped things had changed. His interest in her had certainly shifted since he’d set her aside when she’d been all of seventeen. Was it so foolish to hope now?