The Very Thought of You

by Iris Morland

  "Don't you dare pull that out," a nurse warned, although he saw a smile on her face. She looked familiar. He'd seen her before at the bakery.

  The bakery. Megan. Megan. The man in her bedroom. Bullets. Blood. He gasped.

  He tried to sit up, but he was too loopy to manage it. He grunted something and was about to demand this woman tell him where Megan was when Megan herself appeared at his side.

  Megan smiled down at him, her red hair like an auburn halo around her. Her face was drawn and she looked pale, but she seemed all right.

  "Thank God," she breathed as she leaned toward him. "You're awake."

  "How long have I been out?" His voice was croaky and rough.

  "For twelve hours or so. They had to take you into surgery to remove the bullet from your shoulder. It just barely nicked an artery." Her face paled further. "It was a really close call."

  He closed his eyes. He was exhausted. The small part of his mind that remained lucid told him it was from the painkillers, currently being fed into his arm via that IV.

  "What happened? Are you all right?" He drank her in, and his heart started beating so quickly that the machine next to him started beeping more loudly.

  The nurse came by to rest a hand on his shoulder. "Take a deep breath for me, Caleb. That's it. One more for me. There you go." The nurse looked at Megan. "Be sure to keep him as calm as you can, okay? I'll give you two some time alone, but call me if you need anything."

  Megan nodded as the nurse exited. She took Caleb's hands as she sat down next to him, squeezing his fingers.

  "You almost died, you jerk," she said, tears making her voice husky. "You jumped in front of a bullet for me, and for a minute there I thought I'd lost you." She struggled to gather her composure.

  He reached out to touch the tendrils of hair near her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. She sighed deeply.

  "What about the shooter? Where is he?" His face flushed with anger when he remembered Jason Worth’s smirk.

  "He's alive, barely. You shot him in the stomach. If he lives, he'll be charged with so many crimes there's no way he's getting out of jail anytime soon. Not to mention that assaulting a police officer is kind of a big deal, you know."

  She lifted his hand to her cheek and kissed his fingers.

  Caleb knew he needed to say something. To tell Megan something important. His thoughts kept jumping around, and he could barely hang onto one before it slipped from his grasp. Megan seemed to sense his struggle and made soothing noises.

  "It's all right. I know. You just need to get better."

  He shook his head. Groaning, he sat up a little bit. "I need to say this." He looked into her eyes, bright blue and clear as a summer sky. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I shouldn't have done it. I was so scared that when you found out about Daniel that you'd hate me, but lying to you only made that worse. I don't blame you if you do hate me. I get it. But I won't let you go, Megan. I love you. I love you so much—"

  She stopped him with a kiss. His heart exulted, and he kissed her with everything that was overflowing within him. When his vitals started to spike again, though, she pulled away with a reluctant smile.

  "I know. I love you, too. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. Yes, you lied to me, but how could I judge you for a mistake like that when I did the same thing?"

  "Nobody died because of you.” His voice was haunted.

  She touched the white sheet on his bed. “Yes, but the only reason I wasn't in your shoes was sheer luck." Her lips tilted upward, but it was a sad smile. "And because somebody arrested me before I could make the same mistake. When you were lying on my bedroom floor, bleeding? You saved me, Caleb. You've always saved me, even when I didn't deserve it. You're not only the man that I love: you're the man who's made me into the woman I am today."

  He shook his head, because he didn't deserve those words. But Megan—if he knew anything about her—was relentless. Relentless in her ambitions and relentless in her love. Like the afternoon in the cemetery with Stephanie, peace once again washed over him.

  Maybe he didn't deserve forgiveness—whatever that meant. But that didn't mean he shouldn't take it when it was offered in all its humbling glory.

  "I talked to Daniel's mom," he said quietly. "She told me I should forgive myself."

  "And she's right. You were young, Caleb. That's not to say you didn't do something that hurt a lot of people, but living in guilt for the rest of your life won't bring Daniel back."

  He let out a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he imagined his future, and for the first time, it involved only happiness. Love. Joy. A woman who'd saved him just as much as he'd saved her.

  "But if you jump in front of another bullet," Megan warned as the painkillers threatened to put him to sleep once again, "I'll kill you myself."

  He just smiled as sleep claimed him.

  When Caleb awoke again later that afternoon, Megan decided that she couldn't very well keep his family away from him, even if she wanted him all to herself.

  "You’re okay with everyone coming in to see you?" she asked Caleb for the millionth time.

  "If all else fails I'll fake a heart attack," he joked. Megan gave him a dirty look and vowed revenge for that remark when he was better.

  The entire Thornton clan—Dave, Lisa, Mark, Harrison and Jubilee—along with Sara, James, Ruth, and a number of Caleb's fellow police officers, including Officer Gonzalez, had been sitting in the waiting room for hours now. When Lisa had heard the news, she'd driven straight to the hospital to demand to see her son, even though he'd been in surgery. She'd then questioned all of the doctors and nurses like she worked for the CIA. Finally, Dave had taken her arm and made her sit down, which resulted in her bursting into tears.

  Megan's heart swelled when she saw the plethora of people waiting for news. Although Megan wasn't family, she'd been brought in the ambulance with Caleb, and as such, had used that to her advantage. She felt a little pinch of guilt when she saw the stark, white faces looking at her for an update on his condition.

  "He's awake again," she said. "He's still loopy from the meds, but he said he wants to see you all."

  James hopped up from his chair, about to run to see his soon-to-be uncle, but Sara took him by the arm before he could scamper away.

  "I want to see him!" he complained. "We've been waiting forever!"

  "We will in a minute," Sara replied. "Should we go in groups?"

  Right then, Abby Davison, who'd been attending Caleb and had been a steadfast presence for all of them, came inside the room.

  "Let's do groups of two or three first, all right? We don't want to overwhelm him. His recovery looks good, but he lost a lot of blood."

  Megan couldn't help but notice the way Mark seemed to glower even more when Abby was around. If she weren't so wrapped up in Caleb, she'd investigate that story as soon as she could.

  Dave and Lisa saw Caleb first, and Megan sat with Sara during that reunion. Sara took Megan's hand and squeezed it, smiling at her and giving her strength. Megan was so tired that she could collapse right there on the floor.

  "Why don't you go home?" Sara murmured. "You need to shower. Eat something. Get some sleep."

  Megan shook her head. "I can't leave yet. Not until he's out of the woods completely." Her throat closed, and she couldn't stop herself from remembering what it had been like seeing him bleeding onto her bedroom floor, his eyes glazing over. How he'd told her he'd loved her like he'd been afraid he'd never get the chance again. How he'd been rushed into surgery and nobody could tell her his outcome until hours later.

  She swallowed against the imminent tears. She was tired of crying. Mostly, she wanted to go to Jason Worth’s hospital bed and kick him in the head. According to Officer Gonzalez, Jason had been committing petty crimes for years but, due to financial trouble, had decided to up the ante. Megan's bakery had merely been one of his multiple targets. When robbing her bakery hadn't proven fruitful, Jason had decided to take out his frustration on Megan.


  Or so Jason had told the police. Megan only cared inasmuch that he would be sent to jail and never be free again. Not just for hurting her, but for almost killing Caleb.

  "He's going to be all right," Sara said in a firm voice. "The outlook looks good, and he's young and strong. Besides, he has you to live for."

  Harrison leaned over Sara's shoulder to add, "He also knows that he has five siblings who will haunt him if he so much as thinks about dying."

  That made Megan laugh, although it was a watery one. Megan then noticed that Ruth sat a little distance away, and guilt assailed Megan, seeing her mother there but not part of the group. Tired of the anger and the grief, Megan went to Ruth and said quietly, “Come sit with us.”

  Ruth looked up, surprised. She hesitated, but at Sara’s nod and Megan’s insistence, she sat closer, no longer separate from her daughters.

  Jubilee sat down next to Megan and put her arm around her while James tried to entertain everyone with his impressions. James only knew that his uncle had gotten hurt, but he didn't know the extent of it. As a result, he was the one bright spot in a room of very gloomy adults.

  "Aunt Megan, are you and Uncle Caleb getting married?" James asked in a loud whisper. "I heard my mom say that you were."

  "James, I did not say—"

  "Yes, you did. Two days ago." Harrison smiled wider at Sara's dark look.

  Sara just crossed her arms, although her mouth twitched in a smile.

  Megan looked at her nephew, and her heart filled with love. Enfolding him in a hug, she replied, "I don't know if we are, but if we do get married, you can be in the wedding. How about that?"

  James hooted in triumph, which caused both his mother and his almost-stepfather to shush him before they got yelled at by hospital staff.

  Dave and Lisa emerged after thirty minutes, Lisa dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Megan couldn't help but feel sorry for Lisa: she'd lived her life fearing what other people would think of her if they discovered that she—and her children—were human.

  To Megan's surprise, Lisa approached her. She felt Sara stiffen next to her, and she could only imagine the look on Harrison's face.

  "You were with Caleb when he was shot?" Lisa asked.

  Megan nodded. "He took a bullet meant for me." Her throat closed around those words, and she found that she couldn't say anything else.

  "That's just like my boy." She gave Megan a veiled look. "If he could have, he would've told the world what really happened. The concealment was at my insistence." She looked pale and wan, and Dave put his hands on her shoulders. "It's one of the things I regret most in my life."

  She then looked at Sara and Harrison. Megan held her breath. "I'm sorry for what I did. Truly sorry. I'm not sure there's a way to make up for it, but if I can, I'll do my best."

  Harrison and Sara stared. No one moved, and the tension in the room was palpable. Jubilee tightened her arm around Megan.

  Finally, Sara stood and took Lisa's hand. Her expression wasn't friendly, but it was open. Accepting. "Thank you," was all she said.

  Harrison rose next to his fiancée. "I'll walk you two out."

  James, still on the floor, turned his wide-eyed gaze to Megan when the trio left. "What was that lady talking about?"

  Megan opened her mouth to answer, but Abby came into the room right then. Mark, who'd been sitting by himself, suddenly looked up at Abby's entrance.

  Abby, for her part, had yet to acknowledge Mark at all. Her gaze was solely on the group with Megan. "You can come in now."

  Megan followed Sara, James, and Mark; Harrison would be joining them shortly. Ruth had said she preferred to stay in the waiting room, as she wasn’t family. Although Megan wanted to argue that point, Sara had shaken her head. “One thing at a time,” Sara said.

  Caleb looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes, but when he saw Megan, he lit up. When she reached his bedside, he took her arm and pulled her down for a kiss that was so deep that Megan was bright red and almost panting when it ended.

  Sara gave them both a wry look, while James looked disgusted. "Why are you kissing her like that? Gross!"

  "Adults kiss like that," Mark said in a low voice. "Someday you might even like it."

  Everyone was so astonished by Mark speaking that silence reigned for a few moments.

  "Maybe he won't like it, though. You don't know what he'll like when he's an adult," Abby countered. She had her hands on her hips, her brow furrowed.

  Everyone else waited in silence, their gazes darting between Mark and Abby like they were watching a tennis match.

  Mark's lips thinned. "What, do you not like kissing?"

  "That's none of your business." Abby's voice was prim. She moved to grab a chart next to Caleb's bed, and Megan saw that her cheeks were pink.

  "Maybe you just haven't been kissed by the right man," was Mark's rejoinder.

  Megan looked at Caleb. He gave her an "I'll tell you later" look.

  Abby and Mark seemed to have forgotten that anyone else was in the room. Megan didn't know how to break the silence, but luckily, her nephew did.

  "Kissing is gross. I don't think I'll ever like it." He climbed up onto Caleb's bed and asked, "Aunt Megan says she isn't sure if you guys are getting married. Do you know if you're getting married?"

  Sara looked like she wanted to muzzle her child, but Caleb surprised everyone by saying, "I haven't asked her yet, but I will soon. I hope she says yes."

  His gaze was only on her when he said those words. Her heart thrilling, she leaned down to kiss him for a second time. But that resulted in James making disgusted noises again, and everyone laughed. By the time the kiss had ended, Abby had left the room, and Mark had returned to his usual taciturn state.

  Megan snuggled against Caleb as the group chattered; even Mark spoke more than once in his gruff way. When Caleb took her hand and enclosed it in his, she knew nothing could compare to the love and happiness she felt at this moment.

  Epilogue

  Megan couldn’t help but smile when she heard the booted footsteps behind her. Continuing to knead her dough, she acted nonchalant when solid arms wrapped around her waist.

  “Whatcha making?” Caleb asked. “Cinnamon rolls?”

  “Bingo.” When he kissed her neck, she giggled. “I can’t work when you do that!”

  “Then stop working and help me out.”

  “What’s your problem now?”

  He pressed his burgeoning erection against her ass, and in revenge, she wiggled. He groaned.

  “You aren’t making my problem any better, you know.”

  She laughed. Turning in his arms, she reached to cup his face, but then she saw the flour on her hands. She narrowed her eyes, and when he figured out her intention, he ducked from her embrace.

  “Don’t you dare—!” He pivoted, but he wasn’t fast enough.

  With a laugh, she planted her floured hands on his freshly washed uniform, leaving bright white handprints right over his pectorals.

  He growled like a baited bear. “You’ll pay for that.”

  “Oh, no, how awful. What’re you gonna do? Spank me?”

  His nostrils flared. “Don’t tempt me.”

  When he grabbed her and was about to toss her over his shoulder to have his evil way with her, Megan didn’t remotely resist. She looped her still floured hands around his neck as he carried her toward the pantry. But since the universe liked a good joke, Jubilee came into the kitchen a moment later.

  “What are you two—oh geez, not this again. Get a room. Go rent one of the rooms next door and go there. Don’t sully the bakery with your shenanigans.”

  Caleb glared at his sister. “You could always leave, you know.”

  “Too late. Megan, we’re out of vanilla syrup. Do we have any in the back?”

  Megan climbed down from Caleb’s arms, now in business mode. She saw him give his sister another dirty look, which only amused her further.

  “I think we have another bottle…” She
searched and finally found the offending bottle, handing it to Jubilee. “Here you go. Has the rush started? I’m almost done with these cinnamon rolls.”

  “Not yet, so you two have a little time to do something indecent. Just don’t be too loud, okay?”

  “Jubi…” Caleb warned, but she only laughed and scampered out of the kitchen.

  “She’s right, you know,” Megan mused. “We do need a room.”

  “We have lots of rooms. I distinctly remember using this one in particular.”

  She poked him. “No, I mean, a room we…share.” At his look, color climbed up her cheeks, and she instantly felt foolish. She could’ve mentioned that question not quite so awkwardly.

  His green gaze darkened, and even with floured handprints on his chest, he managed to be the sexiest thing Megan had ever seen. After the shooting and his surgery, he’d recovered with remarkable speed, probably because he hated being cossetted and had wanted to return to work as soon as possible.

  Although his doctor had advised that he take it easy, he’d returned to the force within a month’s time. Officer Gonzalez had insisted on desk duty for another month, however, and she knew Caleb was itching to get back to real police work.

  Her heart hurt when she thought of him bleeding out on her bedroom floor and waiting in the hospital to hear if he’d made it. Every time she saw the scar on his shoulder, she couldn’t help but feel a flare of hatred for the man who’d put it there. Jason Worth remained in jail without bond after recovering from his own injuries, and he would go on trial for multiple felonies within the next few months. Everyone was relieved that Jason was off the streets and behind bars for the time being.

  Two months later, she and Caleb still lived in their separate houses, although more often than not he would end up at her house in the evenings. He told her it was because he liked her place better, but she had a feeling he’d formed an attachment to Gary and just wouldn’t admit it.

  Caleb had also begun to come to terms with Daniel’s death. He’d finally started the process of forgiving himself, and although it would be a difficult journey, Megan knew he would make it through the guilt and pain. Megan filled with pride every day that he worked on himself, which also gave her the courage to do similarly.