Looking back at Jake, she saw a grim expression on his features. "I can see I spoke out of turn," he said. His mouth turned downward. "Maybe you're right. Once everything is worked out, you can make your mind up what's best for the children. I'm sure it'll all work out fine, in the end." He sighed heavily. "Once everyone's done what they have to do." There was a sudden brittle quality in his voice. Once again, had she put up a new barrier, keeping him at bay?
A chill settled on her spine. What had he meant by that last remark? To whom was he referring? Before she had a chance to ask him, Jake pulled on the reins, twisting his horse back in the direction of the girls. "We should get back."
Emma nodded, saying nothing. Then she followed him as he rode slowly in the direction of the herd.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"Are we staying in Inspiration, Jake?" Clara asked at lunchtime the following day. She was sitting atop a pinto in the corral at the ranch house.
Taken aback by the little girl's question, Jake was momentarily lost for words. How could he possibly answer a question like that? Especially after what had occurred between himself and Emma the evening before while at the herd. "What makes you ask that, Clara?" was all Jake could say.
"Emma was talking to us, last night," Clara explained. "She said you and her have been talking. About serious things."
Jake quirked a brow up at Clara. "She said that?"
"Uh huh," Clara confirmed.
"Did she tell you what we've been discussing?" Jake asked, trying to sound casual.
"Things," Clara replied cryptically. Clara's mouth twisted tight. She wasn't going to add anything, Jake told himself. He was sure Clara knew exactly what Jake and Emma had been talking about. At times like this, Jake felt that the girls were at least two steps ahead of him. Maybe their life on the street had taught them how to play things smart.
Jake held firmly onto the rope around the pinto. He walked slowly around the inside perimeter of the corral, leading the horse, trying not to think about what Emma might have been telling the children. Bethany, leaning on the corral fence, awaiting her turn, smiled at Jake and Clara as they passed her.
Thankfully, as far as Jake was concerned, Emma wasn't around to overhear this conversation. She and Grace had gone into town to get things needed for the birthday celebration. Matilda had been more than happy to look after the two girls until Jake had returned from his morning work. His mother was in the house, well out of earshot.
"Are we staying, Jake?" Clara insisted.
"The only thing I can confirm, Clara, is that you and Bethany are getting to be experts at staying on a horse," Jake stated, still trying to avoid an awkward conversation. "And I think that's something to be proud of, don't you?"
Clara nodded emphatically.
"You'll both be riding soon," Jake announced.
That sealed the deal. Now Clara was holding onto the reins of the pinto and looking like she thought she was the greatest cowgirl in the territory. Which as far as Jake was concerned, was actually the case with both Bethany and Clara. He was starting to feel real pride about these two girls and the resilience they were showing in facing up to the difficulties of their lives.
Making his way around the corral, Jake and Clara passed Bethany. Jake could see that Bethany was itching to ask a question. "If we stay in Inspiration, Jake, can we stay at the ranch?"
That question nearly caused Jake to stop in his tracks. He forced himself to continue walking, rope in hand. "Is that what you two would like?" Jake asked glancing from Bethany to Clara.
It was a bold question. One that, under normal circumstances, he'd never dreamed of asking. But the girls seemed like they were on a mission to get at the truth. That was one thing he appreciated about the girls. They were as feisty and strong-minded as the woman who'd been taking care of them these last weeks. Maybe Emma had taught them some lessons in how to survive. Or maybe it had been the other way around.
He slowed and looked at Bethany and then Clara. "Well? Would you?" he asked. Both girls smiled right back at Jake. "I'll take it that means yes?" he concluded.
Both girls smiled, clearly delighted. Jake sighed. Maybe he'd done something right, after all, he told himself. Right now, he couldn't imagine anything finer than making a difference in the lives of these girls. Although, persuading Emma to become his wife would be just about the finest, and the hardest, thing he'd ever do.
Coming out to the corral today, Jake hadn't expected his time with the girls to turn into a question and answer session. But, he was discovering something important. His dream of having a family was more than just a fantasy. It was becoming a real possibility.
Jake knew he'd have to be careful about revealing too much of the details of his recent conversations with Emma. About whether or not she and the girls would be staying in Inspiration. And, it wouldn't be a good idea to get the girls' hopes up that he and Emma were forming a relationship.
As far as Jake was concerned, that was the truth. But, it seemed as if Emma was still determined to hold him back. Jake was feeling that every time he got closer to Emma, she put up an invisible hand and pushed him back.
Still, it seemed the girls were catching onto the notion of remaining in Inspiration for good. Being honest with himself, Jake was secretly glad that the girls were interested in staying. Of course, a whole lot would have to be put in place if there was ever going to be a chance of that happening. There was the possibility of the law getting involved with Emma. But, Jake was sure that would all be sorted out. And there would be adoption procedures to go through. Formalities. He could barely even think about all of that.
Then, there was the most difficult thing of all. Getting Emma to agree to a wedding. Right now, that seemed like an impossibility. He felt like he'd been breaking down walls since the moment he'd set eyes on her. But, every time he'd crashed through her barriers, Emma had, almost immediately, put up a brand new one. Jake had never known frustration like it.
Continuing on around the inside of the corral, Jake asked himself if he was doing right by trying to get Emma and the children to stay. Was it just selfishness on his part? He didn't think so. Not when he felt that God was guiding him to do all he could to make sure that the lives of Emma and the children were filled with all the possible good with which God could grace them.
From the moment he'd met them all back at the staging station, that had been Jake's overriding concern. To bring good things into the lives of Emma, Bethany and Clara. Having been taught the value of humility while growing up, Jake didn't want to pat himself on the back, or tell himself he'd already succeeded. Because he hadn't. Not yet, anyway. For now, it was enough that he'd been filled with a godly purpose. And that he'd done all he could to fulfill it. All he could to follow the will of God.
Just thinking about the last few days made Jake's heart swell with longing. This had been a taste of what the future held for all four of them. Jake was determined to do whatever he could to make it a reality. They'd be a family. For some reason that thought, which a few weeks ago would have filled him with dread, made him feel a powerful anticipation. The prospect of being a husband to Emma and a father to the children made him feel genuine joy.
Last night had been a setback. There was no denying it. But, he told himself he could work things out. He'd always been an optimist. This was no time for quitting.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
All through Friday morning, Emma helped Grace and Matilda, and the cook, Hettie, in the kitchen, getting what seemed like an enormous quantity of food ready for the guests. Supplies had been brought in on the Thursday. They'd spent that evening preparing various tasty delights for the following day. Bethany and Clara had pitched in, eager to be a part of the team. It wasn't long before the kitchen took on the appearance of a war zone, with ingredients, cooking supplies and utensils strewn everywhere. For the girls, getting food ready for a party looked like an all new kind of fun. Emma had enjoyed watching the girls throw themselves into the preparations, clear
ly eager to join in with the adults.
A long wooden table had been set up in the yard with enough seating for around thirty guests. The Buchanans were a big clan, Emma realized. Some of the ranch hands had been invited, too. The day promised to be sunny and warm. Perfect for an outdoor celebration.
Being honest with herself, Emma realized she was nervous about meeting the entire family in such a personal, family setting. Somehow, meeting everyone at church had seemed different. Today, for the first time, she might get a sense of what it would feel like to be a part of the Buchanan family. She worried it would be hard to deal with.
Throughout the Friday morning, Emma hadn't seen Jake once. He'd left early, before breakfast. During her time in the kitchen, she'd glanced repeatedly through the kitchen window, expecting to see him riding into the yard.
She realized she was eager to see him. They'd both been busy these past couple of days. Encounters at the dinner table had been brief and, after each meal, Jake had excused himself, leaving Emma to spend the evenings with the girls. By near lunchtime, there was still no sign of Jake.
Since their discussion two nights ago, Emma had reflected often on what Jake had said to her. His words had seemed sincere and heart-felt. And that had been the problem. She'd thought she'd been prepared for his declaration. But she hadn't.
His words had touched her heart. Profoundly. And they had also triggered a tremendous anxiety. Could she even consider giving in to the impulses of her heart? Because, she knew that Jake Buchanan had found a place in her heart. Of that fact, she was in no doubt. Gradually, since that first day she'd met him, the handsome rancher had become dear to her.
More than that, she told herself. Jake had become truly precious to her. Emma knew God had been gracious to her. First He had brought the girls into her life. And now, He'd brought a wonderful man into her life. Gratitude filled her entire being. More than once this morning, she'd asked herself if God had done all of this to give her hope.
In all her life of devotion, in every decision she'd taken, Emma had tried to discern the will of God. This was no exception. It seemed to her that He wanted her to be with Jake. That He wanted the girls to be with her and Jake. Together. A family, at last.
Overwhelmed by that prospect, and what it meant, Emma had done her best throughout the morning to contain her emotion. More than once, Grace and Matilda had asked Emma if she was feeling well. Clearly they'd noticed a change in her. But, on each occasion, Emma had explained her flushed features by observing that the kitchen was hot, or that there was much that still needed to be done.
Also, these last two nights, up in their bedroom, the girls had pressed Emma for details. They'd probed Emma with questions in the way that only the girls knew how to do. As always, Emma had tried to tell them the truth. The problem was, Emma still wasn't certain what she could do about her feelings for Jake. She was reluctant to let the rancher fully into her heart, in case that awful moment came. The moment when she'd have to uproot herself and the children and leave Inspiration. She wasn't sure she'd be able to take that amount of hurt. And she feared for the reaction of the girls. They'd be so disappointed.
Trying to put all of this out of her mind, Emma kept herself as busy as possible. Soon, it was one o'clock. Glancing out the kitchen window, she saw Jake ride into the yard. He wasn't alone. Behind him were five carriages. On those carriages she saw the entire Buchanan family. Emma's heart quickened and she dropped a plate into the dry sink. Luckily, it didn't break.
Emma saw Grace glance at her and then out the window. "They're all here, ma," Grace announced.
Matilda peered out the window and removed her apron. "Time for some greetings." Matilda turned to Hettie. "We nearly ready?"
Hettie's brows furrowed and she planted her fists on her ample hips. "You think I can't cook for a few family members when I'm used to feeding a crowd of ranch hands every day?"
Matilda laughed. "I ain't doubting you for one minute, Hettie."
Hettie lifted a brow. "That just as well," she stated defiantly.
Matilda hugged Hettie. "You always serve up a wonderful feast, Hettie," Matilda said. She glanced at the food-laden plates already laid out on the long kitchen table. "And today is no exception."
Since arriving, Emma hadn't seen Hettie express any emotion when she was going about her duties. But, on this occasion, Hettie's brown eyes glistened. She lifted the corner of her apron and wiped away a tear. "You know I always try my best, Mrs Buchanan," Hettie sobbed.
"Thank you, Hettie," Matilda said, hugging Hettie one more time.
Emma followed Grace and Matilda out to the yard. The carriages halted and Jake's cousins and their wives and children were soon being welcomed. The yard was suddenly crowded with Buchanans. Emma stood to one side, an arm laid across each of the shoulders of Bethany and Clara, observing the good humor of the family welcome. Having seen the warmth of the family at church, she wasn't surprised by the joy with which the Buchanans welcomed each other. Grace had told Emma that her sister Abigail and husband Noah would be joining them later. With Abigail being late on in carrying her baby, and occasionally feeling tired in the afternoons, it seemed the decision had been made that she and Noah would only be coming for the lunch.
Then it was Emma's turn to greet the Buchanans. After the social, and the meeting at church, she knew the brothers and wives all by name. Zane and Johanna; Gideon and Rosalind; Reese and Honora; Micah and Rachel with young Luke, just over one year old and looking like a handful. Last to amble up were Jake's stockily-built uncle Caleb and his silver-haired wife Eugenie. Emma hugged everyone, and teased the little ones. Jake had told her the Buchanan family was growing, and he'd been right. The yard was filled with the squeals and yells of little ones, as well as the good-natured exchanges of the adults.
Seeing that Bethany and Clara were looking a little unsure about the sudden crowd which had descended upon the Buchanan ranch, Emma kept the two girls close to her. Two groups formed, with the wives making their way into the house, leaving the men outside in the yard.
As Emma ushered Bethany and Clara in ahead of her, she glanced back at the huddle of Buchanan men making their way toward the long benches on the porch. She saw Jake smile at her. A momentary concern ridged his brows. She smiled back at him, eager to signal that everything was fine. That she and the girls could handle all of this feverish activity.
Then, Emma and the girls spent a short while in the sitting room. The talk was all about Matilda's birthday and then it moved on to the subject of life on the neighboring Buchanan ranch. It seemed that all four brothers and their wives and little ones lived on the rangeland in their own cabins. The entire ranch was occupied by the whole family. To Emma it seemed like a perfectly sensible arrangement.
As before, Emma felt completely at home with the Buchanan wives. But, never at any point during the conversation, not even when things strayed into gossip, did she feel uneasy about the way the women discussed life in Inspiration. It was all perfectly good-natured.
Emma was also gratified by the way the Bethany and Clara were drawn into the conversation with the adults. Each of the Buchanan wives seemed to go out of their way to include the children in everything. And Bethany and Clara got a chance to play with the little Buchanans, too. That gladdened Emma's heart.
Finally, Matilda dragged Emma and the children back to the kitchen to conclude the preparations for the lunch. All of the Buchanan wives offered to help, but Matilda firmly refused their offers of assistance. They were guests, and that was that, as far as Matilda was concerned.
Back in the kitchen, Emma and the girls worked quickly, finishing off the preparations. At one point, as she stood at the window, Emma glanced into the yard and saw Jake walking toward the corral. He had his arms across the shoulder of his eldest cousin, Zane. From the expression on their faces, she got the impression their conversation was serious. Emotion flickered into life as she wondered what Jake and his cousin might be talking about.
And, even
as she turned to attend to one of the final tasks, she was sure they could only be talking about one thing. Her and Jake, and what they were going to do about the relationship which had developed between herself and the handsome rancher.
The Rancher’s Devout Bride Page 19