This I Know

by A K Clark

  Theo looked thoughtful before he spoke again. “Why would they choose the new god?”

  “I’ve traveled a lot since joining the order,” Chad said. “My travels have afforded me opportunities to learn a great deal about this new faith. Their god is said to dominate all our gods. We all know these Christians have been persecuted for many years. What you might not know is the late Emperor Constantius put a stop to this, though he never truly embraced the new god.

  “Since his death,” Chad continued, “his son has conquered the emperors of the east and west. Now he is the sole emperor…Constantine the Great is what they call him. He is sympathetic to the Christians—some say he has been converted to the new religion. Others say he’s been working to discredit the gods, utilizing rebel groups like Argos’s to help.”

  “How would he do that?” Isaias asked.

  “Well, in the same way we did to them, of course. Brand us as heathens, convert those who are easily swayed to Christianity. Eradicate our gods with force,” Chad said.

  “I don’t understand their motive,” Theo said.

  “Since the Romans conquered us, there has been a great deal of struggle to control the people. The Egyptians have their gods, the Romans have theirs, and we have ours. A few questions remain. Which are the true gods? What divinities guided our people to this pinnacle? Which deities have contributed the most to the success of our societies? With only one, these questions would not exist. The people, in effect, wouldn’t question the god’s word. There would be no other faiths to consult.”

  What Chad said worried me. How would our people survive under one god? Could the one he spoke of have all the powers our gods possessed? It couldn’t be. If there was ever a divine being powerful enough to contain all the powers, it was Zeus. Even he shared the burden with his brothers, sisters, and children.

  “How do you know so much of the Roman Emperors?” Isaias asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

  “I studied while I traveled,” Chad said, scowling with offense. Isaias backed off.

  Silence descended upon our group. Would Constantine support the rebels? If he did, what did that mean for Larissa? Moreover, how long would it take me to reach Larissa and kill the man who murdered Vero?

  20

  Darrien accompanied me to Ivien’s after the night practice, choosing to stay outside this time. The visit didn’t take long, and he managed to avoid suggestive comments from Ivien. We returned to my home, which still smelled of the fire the men had burned earlier in the day. He watched me open the door and step inside, following my lead with hesitant steps. I knew it took great willpower on his part to let me enter the house first, but I was grateful he didn’t try to take charge.

  Once I’d taken a few more steps over the threshold, he followed me in. I crept forward, my hand braced against the wall as I tiptoed toward the hallway. Darrien bumped into me when I stopped short, staring into the depths of the hallway.

  He tried to push his way in front of me so he could do the hard part. I steeled myself against the fear gripping my heart and traversed farther into the house. He didn’t follow me as I checked both bedrooms. I took a deep breath, composing myself in my bedroom before heading back to the kitchen.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “I learned from my mother it is better to let the woman take the lead and ask for help than to intervene when it isn’t necessary.” He shrugged. “I figure you’ll ask me for help if you need it.”

  I smiled. His mother sounded wonderful.

  “Well, nothing’s been bothered. I don’t think anyone has been here.”

  “That’s good. I doubt anyone will come back, but at least you won’t be alone if they do.” He looked around the kitchen, checking for any sign of food.

  “If you’re hungry, we will have to go to the market.” I smirked to myself—he looked like a giant in the little house.

  “I can run to the market to get us some food. Do you want to come with me?”

  “I’ve got to clean up, I stink.” I lifted my chiton and sniffed, cringing at the stench to make my point.

  “I was going to mention the smell…” Darrien covered his nose, eyes crinkling with a smile.

  “Keep it up and you’ll sleep outside. Can you get bread from Mrs. Mager?” I asked.

  “I can, and I will. I’ll be back soon.”

  I leaned against the wall in relief when he closed the front door. I liked Darrien but needed time alone to relax, or at least to try. I stood over the washbasin which I had filled with fresh water earlier and peeled off my clothes. I took my time washing the dirt and sweat from my hair, then my body.

  When Darrien returned, I rushed to finish washing and pulled on the new clothes I’d bought at the market on the way home from lunch. I’d yet to wash the growing mound of dirty clothes, but they could wait another day.

  “I’m back, Alex,” he yelled down the hallway. I emerged from my room, running my fingers through my wet hair, making it somewhat presentable before going to meet him in the kitchen.

  “There better be bread in there,” I said.

  “Don’t worry, my love, I brought you some.” He laughed, tossing a roll to me. I took a bite, trying not to choke when I realized he’d said “my love.” Relax, Alex. It is a nickname. He doesn’t love you. You just met.

  He hummed to himself as he pulled another roll out of the basket of food. I also saw wine. Smart man.

  “What else did you bring?” I asked, pointing to a wrapped packet in the basket. The scent of roast filled the air. He untied the package with deft fingers. Inside, there lay succulent meat spiced and cooked to perfection. I smiled when he pulled out another bag I recognized.

  “Please tell me that is goat’s cheese from Mrs. Mager.”

  “It’s goat cheese from Mrs. Mager,” he said. Mrs. Mager rarely made cheese, but when she did, it sold out. The gods blessed her craft. Everything she made burst with flavor. Darrien wasted no time making up two plates and carrying them to the table. I poured two goblets of wine and joined him.

  Neither of us spoke as we enjoyed the meal. The meat was tender, the cheese was creamier than I remembered, spiced with hot peppers and garlic. The noises filling the house were not words, but sighs and moans of satisfaction, a culinary climax. Darrien paused his eating to watch me, smiling at the delight on my face. I blushed, looking away when I saw a different form of hunger reflected in his eyes.

  We finished, neither of us able to meet the other’s gaze. The experience had been oddly intimate. I still needed time to recover from the shock of raw emotion.

  Darrien’s eyes roamed over my mouth and down to my exposed throat. He forced his gaze to stop roaming when his eyes reached my breasts, snapping them up to meet my knowing stare. I watched his cheeks heating with embarrassment. This is interesting.

  I watched him wrestle with his feelings with a bemused smile on my face. He was fighting the urge to kiss me—how I knew, I couldn’t explain. The air was thick with desire though I wasn’t sure what had brought us to this point. I blamed the food.

  His hair lay somewhat messy, softening the chiseled perfection of his face. I let my attention roam to his mouth. I had a sudden urge to feel him caressing my skin with his rough hands until they rested on my hips, pulling me against him as we kissed. I took a shaky breath, noticing he was trapped in his own sort of struggle. I pictured his strong arms wielding the sword. How his muscles tensed when preparing for attack. I imagined those muscles holding me, tensing against my touch. A perfect distraction, something simple, a fun way to take my mind off the awful reality that was my life.

  I broke the silence, clearing my throat before saying, “The food was amazing. Thank you for going to get it.” I smiled at him, trying not to let my face betray my wicked thoughts. What would be the harm?

  “I can’t say I didn’t enjoy myself, though you seemed to enjoy it more.”

  I blushed at his words. I’d made several embarrassing noises, but I thought he hadn’t noticed. I w
as wrong.

  “Do you always speak so lovingly to your food?” he teased.

  “If I like something, I don’t hide it.”

  “Ah. Smart woman. Why don’t you get off your butt and help me clean up?” His mouth twitched up into a coy smile.

  “Careful, Darrien, you’re a guest in my house,” I said playfully. “You would do well to speak more kindly when referring to my butt.”

  Darrien held up his hands in surrender. “Of course, you’re right. I apologize. Let me try again. Would you please get off your ass and help me clean up?”

  I feigned deep thought, tapping a finger against my lips. The movement drew his attention to my mouth. I gave him a smile that was knowing, if not a tad sadistic. I wondered if I should invite the trouble my body so eagerly urged me to accept. “No.”

  “That’s too bad.” Darrien shook his head. “Because I don’t want to do it all myself. What do you want to do?” I searched my mind, and heart, wondering what I wanted to happen. It wouldn’t change everything that was wrong in my world, but it might make it more bearable.

  I surprised Darrien and myself by walking over to him, running a hand through his hair, gripping it as I pulled his head back to whisper in his ear. “What I want is for you to stop thinking about my ass.”

  His throaty chuckle hit me at my core, filling me with an urgency I fought to control. His hands grasped my hips, pulling me closer to where he sat.

  “I would stop thinking about it if you stopped making things so difficult,” he said, his hands caressing my hips in slow circles. “What did you expect? A beautiful woman making those noises during dinner would turn any man on. I’ve grown used to hearing those noises, though I’ll admit, tonight was the first time I’ve heard them in the kitchen.”

  I moved closer to him, desperate for more of his touch, but he pulled out of reach.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he said, his voice filled with regret. “I want nothing more than to take you back into the bedroom, but I want to make sure you want this. I don’t want your desires clouded by fear. I’m here to protect you. I’ll still be here in a few days.”

  My hands fell from his hair, my shoulders sagging with the weight of what he said. I couldn’t let fear control me. It was making me careless. I hardly knew him.

  Darrien extracted himself from his seat and picked up the mess from dinner. I stood in a daze, worry of the unknown consuming me. He worked around me, taking care not to brush up against me. Would Thad really leave a dead fox in my bedroom? My head throbbed as the anxiety I had buried beneath whatever feelings I had for Darrien resurfaced.

  “Alex?” he asked, standing in the doorway. The expectant look on his face told me he had asked a question.

  “What?”

  “I asked if you wanted me to leave. Do you want me to go get Isaias? Maybe he could stay instead?”

  “I don’t want you to leave,” I said. “I also don’t want to sleep alone.” He looked confused and embarrassed by my statement.

  I tripped over the words until I formed a coherent sentence. “Would you stay in the room? You don’t have to sleep in the bed…although you’re welcome to. I don’t want to be alone in my room,” I clarified, hating the way my voice trembled as I spoke. “What if someone breaks in and you don’t make it in time because you’re in the other room? What if they kill you first, in your sleep?”

  Darrien walked over, wrapping his arms around me, cutting off my foolish rambling. He held me until I regained control and the trembling in my hands subsided.

  “I’ll do whatever you want me to.” His words made me smile.

  We lay down together, putting as much distance between our bodies as the small bed would allow. Thoughts of Darrien filled my dreams, causing a most fitful sleep. I awoke in the middle of the night, frustrated beyond belief. His words played over in my mind. “I want to make sure you want this.”

  He was being careful, but that wasn’t what I needed. I needed to get rid of the tension or I’d end up throwing myself at Theo. The thought made me chuckle. I would never throw myself at Theo, but I needed some sort of release.

  I told myself the cold made me scoot closer to the warmth Darrien’s body provided. He reached out, pulling me to him until my back rested against his front. Each breath he took tickled my neck. I burrowed deeper into his hold until I rested comfortably with his arms wrapped around me. Delight filled my sleepy mind as I allowed the warmth of his body and his steady breathing lull me into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  21

  Six days had passed since the fox incident. Zeus had left for Thebes. Darrien still stayed the night, though now he slept in the spare room. Rooming with him worked well—he bought the best food from the market, and with him staying in the house I had a sense of security. Training continued to become easier. Life had returned to normal.

  The sound of muffled voices woke me from a deep slumber on the seventh day. I stretched my tired body, venturing out of my room after dressing.

  Theo spoke as I rounded the corner. “The chamber was a mess. I haven’t been able to find Cora anywhere. She isn’t at home.”

  “What do you mean you can’t find her?” I asked as I abandoned all my prior hesitancy.

  “Alex,” Darrien said, rising from his seat. “We aren’t sure what we are dealing with yet.”

  “What do you mean you can’t find her?” I asked again, my voice filled with worry. “Have you checked the market? Milo’s?”

  A pained expression crossed Theo’s face. “We can’t find him either.”

  “They must be together. Perhaps they’ve gone on a lover’s trip,” I said, not believing it in the slightest. I gnashed my teeth as I considered other possibilities. Milo had been trying to convince her to seek out the new god. Would my friend forsake Greek deities for the Christian one?

  “No.” Theo shook his head. “I don’t think so. I was telling Darrien the chamber was a mess, like Cora struggled with someone. I went to her house but her family said she’d been staying at Milo’s.”

  “I’m going to look.” I started toward the door.

  “Alex,” Darrien began, but I cut him off.

  “No. I’m going. Either come with me or stay here, but don’t you dare try to stop me.” I glanced over my shoulder at him, seeing he made no move to stop me.

  “I’ll go with you,” Darrien said, following me out of the house.

  “Wait,” Theo said, “I’m coming too.” He struggled to keep up with me as I sprinted toward the temple.

  It had to be a simple misunderstanding. I took the stairs two at a time, jogging into the temple. I made a beeline for the chamber, throwing open the curtain with reckless abandon. The chamber’s fixtures lay in disarray, the table and tripod knocked over. My heart fluttered, imagining Vero struggling to fight off Argos. Had the same fate fallen upon Cora?

  “Is she dead?” I asked the gods aloud, but Theo answered.

  “If someone wanted to kill her, they could have done it here.”

  “So what? They took her?” I scoffed at the idea.

  “I don’t know. Dammit, I should have stayed,” Theo said, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I came to see her this morning. I wanted to talk to her but all I could do was ask her about Milo. I made her so upset, she banished me from the chamber.”

  “Why would you do that?” I said, turning my anger on him.

  “No woman should be afraid of the man she loves,” he mumbled.

  “It was none of your business. You aren’t her family. Are you even her friend? What rights do you think you have?” My fingers curled into fists as I stalked toward him, shouting my questions at him.

  “I care about her,” Theo said.

  “You care about her? I care about her! She’s my best friend and like a sister to me. Don’t tell me you care about her.” I moved to lunge at him, but Darrien grabbed me around the waist, stopping my outburst.
My chest rose and fell as I reined in my anger.

  “The order will find her.” Theo’s words shook with barely contained rage.

  “The order?” I snorted. “What have you done to stop Vero’s killer? How will you find Cora if you’ve made no progress with that?”

  Theo kicked the table before he stormed out of the chamber, shoving the fabric aside. The material swayed from the force of his retreat.

  Darrien let go of me and stepped away. “I realize you’re afraid, Alex,” he said. “Theo cares and we will do our best to find her. Theo won’t rest until he does; he likes her.”

  I shook my head at such a silly notion. They barely knew each other.

  “He does. You might not see it, but I do.”

  “You can’t go without me,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. For what I couldn’t do to save Vero, I’d do for Cora. I had to at least try.

  “No,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t suppose we can.”

  “Let’s find Isaias.” We made our way to the order’s house; my steps were heavy with purpose. Determination filled me, quickening my pace. I had to find her.

  It was foolish, but I hoped the gods would protect Cora from any harm. If only Zeus were still in Delphi. I needed his reassuring presence. I made my way to Cora’s house later that day, wringing my hands as I walked. Maybe she wanted to run away. No, she wouldn’t leave her family or me without an explanation.

  Cora’s house came into view. I stopped in my tracks, trying to shake off the nauseous feeling in my stomach. It only became more persistent. The questions, the heartbroken looks, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it through the conversation without falling apart. You have to be strong for them.

  Lander, Cora’s younger brother, opened the door. “Did he find her?” he asked. “The man said he would find her.”