This I Know

by A K Clark

  “All right, little sister. I’ll come with you.”

  A crashing sound came from the trail, and I stiffened. The horses started, shuffling back and forth, itching to run away. What in the gods’ names could it be now?

  30

  The divide between our groups was all but forgotten as we approached the sound. I felt the crease on my forehead as my eyebrows rose at the sight in front of me. Ilinor stood from where she’d fallen on some loose rock, gripping her horse’s reins and glaring at our approach. Her steed breathed heavily, like she’d pushed the horse to his limits trying to catch up with us. She dusted off her outfit then pinned me with a look so fierce, it almost stopped my heart.

  “You left me behind,” she said. Guilt pricked up my spine. I was ready to defend myself, to list all the reasons I hadn’t waited for her, but the words died in my mouth. She had every right to be angry. I hadn’t even waited to say goodbye. What kind of friend did that? New as it was, our friendship was real and friends didn’t leave without saying goodbye. I swallowed my guilt and looked at the ground, embarrassed by my vanity.

  “I’m sorry, you weren’t home, and I didn’t think you’d want to come.” I shrugged. “You don’t like Cora.”

  She huffed. “Of course I don’t like her, but I’m not staying behind while you five save the day.” She lowered her voice. “Besides, you’re my friend. I’ll help you regardless of my feelings.”

  “How did you find us?” We’d been gone for several days, on horseback no less.

  “I followed the tracks. It wasn’t hard. Once I left Delphi, there were only two sets to follow. Stefan told me you were heading for Larissa. I followed the trail hoping to find you.” I knew Ilinor was capable of tracking in the wilderness and liked to hunt, but I hadn’t realized how good she was. For a moment, she looked vulnerable. Her lower lip trembled slightly but her iron façade slammed in place when she saw our new companions.

  “Who are they?” she asked with a furrowed brow, jutting her chin at Nisus and his men.

  I explained everything. The cold, distant Ilinor I’d seen for so many years resurfaced as she stood tall during their introductions, barely acknowledging each man I named. She snarled at Taryn when he made to grab her.

  “Try it and see which limb you’ll be missing in the morning,” she hissed, fire flashing in her eyes as she stared the man down. An angry Ilinor was a force to be reckoned with, and Taryn took the threat for what it was. He raised his hands in surrender, stepping away from her. There would be no foolery with Ilinor unless he had a death wish.

  Mirth danced in Nisus’s eyes and he barely contained his laughter when Taryn backed down. The man didn’t balk at the threatening members, but he backed down from Ilinor. I didn’t blame him. I’d sooner run from her wrath than I would Theo’s or Darrien’s.

  We settled into camp for the day, deciding that we wouldn’t leave for another day. Ilinor’s horse needed the rest, as did we. Normally, sitting so idly would have driven me mad but I was grateful for the extra time. We’d been traveling for days. I was exhausted.

  I hugged Ilinor despite the angry looks she shot me and felt her relax into my arms. We slowly fell into a familiar banter. Though we joked, my guilt of leaving her gnawed at me. I’d been so desperate to set out, I hadn’t considered my new friend’s feelings, nor how she might be willing to help me find Cora despite their relationship.

  “I am sorry, Ilinor. I didn’t leave you behind because I didn’t want you. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  The corners of her mouth turned up in a bitter smile.

  “To be fair, I haven’t been considerate of your friendship with Cora. I still don’t like her,” she clarified with a look of disdain before sighing in resignation. “I’ll try to refrain from insulting her.” Her smile grew wicked as she added, “At least until we get her back.”

  I laughed. What I wouldn’t give to hear Cora and Ilinor bickering.

  The morning came too soon. I groaned as the sound of voices woke me. I eyed the men from the comfort of my bedroll. Hyri’s friend and three of Nisus’s men had left, not wanting to be a part of the rescue mission. Taryn, gods be damned, stayed.

  Isaias had been pushing us to the limit the entire trip, barely allowing rest during the day and leaving scant hours for sleep at night. Every fiber of my being wanted to hate him for the grueling pace, but I couldn’t. He was doing everything within his power to help me find Cora, including forcing me and the others beyond the capabilities of our bodies.

  I noticed him giving me more than a few looks of concern, waiting for me to fall apart. I would not let that happen. His eyes bored into my back. I stiffened, turning to give him a reassuring smile before forcing myself to get up. He needed to focus on saving Cora, not fretting over me.

  Theo, on the other hand, only gave me encouraging looks. Almost instinctively, I looked to him for direction a few times during the travels. At one point, I swore pride shone in his eyes when he saw that I was dealing with the horse riding better than Taryn and Nisus. I had never felt more like his student and I was certainly never the subject of his admiration. To say the least, it made me uncomfortable. When had we gone from verbal sparring to mutual admiration?

  Isaias slowed, letting the others pass while he waited for Hyri and me to catch up.

  “When we get to Larissa, we will need to find someone in the market willing to sell information. There are always a few gossips who know the comings and goings of everyone in town. Once we find them and whatever information they have, we will head to an inn I know of.”

  “You trust these people?” Hyri asked.

  “I’ve stayed there a few times. The keepers will stay out of our business. No one will report us to the local members. There we can figure out how to get into contact with Cora, or whoever is keeping her.”

  Isaias headed to the front again, leaving me with Hyri. We rode in silence for a long while. A ripple of unease flowed over me as our procession halted. Isaias turned and looked at all of us, worry creasing his brow.

  “We’re almost there. Chad, you take Hyri and his men to the inn. The keepers know me. If you mention my name, they will prepare our rooms. They likely won’t have enough for each of us to have our own room. We’ll have to share.” He looked at Ilinor and me apologetically. “We can figure out sleeping arrangements once we’ve been to the market.”

  Ilinor muttered something under her breath but I was too far away to hear. Her expression alone was enough to tell me she wasn’t happy about our separation.

  A collective sigh rose from our group when we reached the crest of the last hill. I fought the urge to gallop toward the polis. Buildings sprawled across the land, the knot between my shoulder blades lessening as we neared. Chad’s group set off toward the inn. I wanted to pull Ilinor back but knew better than to challenge Isaias’s decision. As if sensing my inner turmoil, she turned around and smirked at me.

  “I’ll be fine. Someone has to keep the men in line.”

  “Don’t worry, Alex. I’ll take care of her,” Hyri added with a mischievous smile. Ilinor scowled at him. Perhaps I should worry about the men rather than Ilinor. I smiled back, happy my brother would be there to keep Taryn away from her.

  The bustling market was a sight for sore eyes. Goods filled the merchant tables and booths. I marveled at the sight. I’d never seen such exquisite things. I breathed deeply, catching the scent of fresh-baked bread. My stomach panged with hunger and grateful tears sprang up. No more rations. No more stale bread.

  As we moved through the market, I noticed imperfections—broken doors, a wobbly table, trash littering the street. Not as exquisite as I’d initially thought, but the journey had made me yearn for the comforts of a polis. The familiar surroundings settled my nerves.

  While I continued to marvel, Isaias, Theo, and Darrien set out in different directions. Darrien perused a table near me, blending into the crowd. He was smiling when I caught sight of him again.

  “What?” I asked. �
��You’re just as happy to be here as I am.”

  “I am. I like watching you when you’re happy,” he said. I smiled and looked away, remembering our kiss. Heat licked its way up my neck and face.

  “What are we looking for?” I asked, not daring to meet his eyes.

  “Isaias wants us to get food. He and Theo went in search of information.”

  After stopping at a few merchants’ booths, we had successfully gathered enough food for a small feast. We waited near a booth draped with peplos, each of which had a unique pattern of intersecting lines and shapes. I studied the craftsmanship. Someone had spent a lot of time threading the pattern into the fabric. A dark blue one with pale pink lines caught my eye. I carefully ran my hand over the edge of the dress, being mindful of my dirty fingers. Too bad they wouldn’t save Cora.

  “Do you think they’re finding any useful information?” I asked Darrien, who stood to the side of the booth.

  “I’m sure they are. Isaias is great at finding information,” Darrien said with a knowing smile. I started to ask what he meant, but stopped when I saw Theo and Isaias heading toward us.

  Shock. Shock was the only way to describe my reaction. Both men looked disheveled, their hair and clothes rumpled as if they’d been in a fight. Definitely not a fight, I mused to myself as I saw the stain of red lipstick on Isaias’s neck. I suddenly understood how Isaias got his information. Darrien chuckled when I gasped in understanding.

  “They have their ways,” he told me with a hint of humor sparkling in his eyes. I looked away from the approaching men. Theo was smiling so wide, his scarred cheek scrunched up. I hid my surprise, not wanting to draw attention to their methods and preferring not to hear the details of who had left the stain on Isaias’s neck.

  Jealousy fluttered within me at the thought of someone running their hands through his hair, but I pushed it away. I wasn’t ready to face my feelings. He was compassionate and kind, but he was also cold and calculating. His years in the order made him distant and at times, brooding.

  “About time. Did you find what you were looking for?” Darrien asked with a smirk. Isaias’s rich amber eyes studied my face, ignoring Darrien’s inquiry. I worked to control my emotions, refusing to let them get the better of me.

  “We did,” Theo said with a wicked smile. I noticed he had a lipstick stain on his neck too, but no feelings of jealousy roared up inside of me. Not surprising. I’d never cared for Theo in any tangible way until recently, but even then, it was only as a friend.

  We found the rest of our group when we reached the inn. Isaias helped me unload the food onto a table in the dining room. His hand brushed mine; a tingle of excitement rushed down my spine, the hairs on my arm raising with a mere touch. I sat, focusing intently on the food in front of me. He didn’t need to know how he affected me.

  I glanced around the table, waving at Ilinor, who sat between Nisus and Hyri. She smiled back, appearing unharmed. I doubted Taryn had inflicted much damage while we were gone. I pulled myself together when Isaias told us what he had learned. His source had confirmed what we suspected. Seers were being held captive in the Theater of Larissa.

  “Are you certain?” Hyri asked.

  “I trust my friends,” Isaias said.

  Plans were made to investigate the theater. Isaias and Theo were to scope out the theater, determining the best way to get the seers out. Taryn remained silent but I could see him processing the information, his near-black eyes unnervingly calm.

  “Are there more like your friends? I’ve been aching to hold a woman and our dear Pythia resists my advances,” Taryn piped up, leering at me, then at Ilinor, who sneered back at him. He quickly looked away, realizing his mistake. “It looks like your friends gave you more than just information.”

  I shuddered at the thought of Taryn holding a woman. He was disgusting. I doubted he would be kind or gentle to any woman who dared lie with him. Isaias ignored Taryn’s words and shot him a look of revulsion, his thoughts mirroring my own.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to smile. I felt it wavering. What if we couldn’t find Cora? What if we were too late? Could she be dead too? My mind raced, thinking up every horrible scenario until I almost fell into a frenzy.

  Ilinor noticed and stood to come over, stopping short when she saw that Isaias had moved close enough to place a hand on my shoulder. She settled back into her seat, watching Isaias with hawk-like eyes. Goddess, she’s protective. I didn’t mind, though. It was nice to have someone care so deeply for me in the absence of Cora.

  “We will find her. I promise you,” Isaias said. His reassurance grounded me and settled my panicked thoughts. His touch lingered on my shoulder. My ears turned pink. Ilinor made eye contact before looking pointedly at the hand on my shoulder. Isaias removed it when he saw the look. A mixture of relief and sadness filled me at the loss of contact.

  Night approached and the inn filled with travelers. Our group headed up to our two rooms. Hyri, Nisus, Chad, and Taryn shared a room. I shared the bed with Ilinor while Darrien and Isaias slept on the floor of our room. My heart fluttered nervously when I thought of Isaias and Darrien lying near our bed. Both men had captivated me.

  Darrien’s kiss had left me wanting more, but I had also felt stirrings of the same desire for Isaias. How does one choose? Darrien was easygoing and set my mind at ease. His unabashed affection was flattering and left me eager to explore what lay between us. Isaias was difficult, but whenever he directed his attention at me, I became flustered. Wanting nothing more than to earn his approval. The brief encounter we’d had in my house had been flirtatiously confrontational. I feared the loss of control Isaias incited within me.

  I groaned inwardly as I compared the men—they were like night and day. Day was easier. I never second-guessed which direction to go because it was always clear. The night was harder to navigate and sometimes scary. Both provided endless opportunity and adventure, and while it was nice to know where you were going, being lost wasn’t always a bad thing.

  Ilinor flopped around, trying to find a comfortable position on her side of the old bed. The men lay still in their bedrolls. The steady rise and fall of their chests hinted at the beginnings of sleep.

  I stared at the ceiling knowing sleep would be a long time coming. I couldn’t stop worrying about Cora and how we would find her, unsure of what we would do if we didn’t find her tomorrow. Where would we look next? What if we never found her—or worse—what if she was dead? My mind rejected the idea. I would have felt it if Cora was no longer with us. Apollo would have told me. Right?

  Sleep evaded me for most of the night. Eventually I slipped into a fitful sleep, dreaming of finding Cora tortured and broken. Tears streamed down my face when I woke. Ilinor slept peacefully beside me, her red hair falling around her face. She almost looked serene.

  I listened to Isaias’s and Darrien’s even breathing. Everyone slept deeply while I lay wide awake. Knowing my thoughts would only torment me, I turned to meditation, relaxing my breath and focusing on counting while my body eased into the familiar state.

  I walked barefoot through the warm grass in my sunny field. The vibrant green blades tickled the bottoms of my feet. I found a spot in the lush meadow and sat. Even in my meditative state, my legs were tired. I lay on my back gazing up at the blue sky, letting Apollo’s sun warm my skin. He never came. His absence squashed any hope I’d built.

  Frustrated and feeling abandoned, I tried to calm the thoughts racing inside my head but failed. I let out a deep sigh as the thoughts pulled me from my meditation. I turned on my side, facing the room only to see Isaias sitting on his bedroll. Watching me. He crawled over to the bed and sat with his back against it.

  “Are you all right?” he whispered, careful not to wake Ilinor or Darrien. I bit back my immediate response, knowing it would be a lie. The horrible thoughts invading my mind brought tears to my eyes. I thanked Apollo that Isaias couldn’t see them.

  “No,” I whispered in a broken voice.
He turned to face me and squeezed my hand. Moments such as this, when kindness radiated out of him, melted my heart. This wasn’t the Master of the Order. This was Isaias stripped of all titles and responsibility.

  “I’ll do everything in my power to save Cora. I won’t let you down.” His whispered words were earnest, making me grateful for his devotion to the mission but also confused by his sense of obligation to me.

  “Thank you, Isaias.” I reached out and pulled him into an awkward hug. His other hand rubbed my back in comforting circles. A few tears escaped and spilled onto his shoulder; he pulled back from the hug to wipe the wetness from my cheeks. His thumb caressed my skin before he placed a gentle, hesitant kiss on my lips. My breathing hitched, heart stuttering and almost shattering at his tenderness.

  He broke the kiss as gently as he approached, careful not to wake Ilinor or Darrien. In that vulnerable moment, I somehow knew he was uncertain of what lay in store and it terrified me. I grabbed his hand before he fully pulled away and held onto it, not ready to face the demons in my head alone. He stayed until Darrien stirred, his face filling with regret when he pulled his hand from mine. He retreated to his bedroll before the other man woke.

  31

  I foolishly let myself revel in the afterglow of Isaias’s kiss, but my happiness subsided with each ray of sun peeking over the horizon. He kissed me the morning after he whored himself out for information. The butterflies fluttered away, and irritation took hold.

  I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me, but the brief moments of flirtation and allure had hit me unexpectedly. Then Darrien had swooped in, drawing my attention with his unkempt hair and amiable personality. I’d almost forgotten any hidden desires for Isaias. Seeing the lipstick stains had ignited a jealous fire within me. My mind ran rampant with thoughts of what he’d done with her—what he might still do with her. They were going to meet the women again to find a way into the theater. I felt ill at the thought.