“I’m so sorry, Letty. I never meant for this to happen.”
For fuck’s sake, I did everything that I could to try to avoid this exact scenario from happening. I’ve kept my distance. I pushed Abby away yesterday when she tried to kiss me. But then, today, well…I could have never prepared myself for the way those pictures made me feel. Basically, I lost my mind, temporarily of course. It’s now back, but it’s way too late. The damage has already been done.
“Tell me the truth, Liam.” Her voice shakes, as her dark brown eyes lock on mine. “Did you sleep with her? Did you have sex with…”
“Yes.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “I did, just once. It was a mistake…”
“Unbelievable.” Her hands brace against my chest, and she shoves me hard. Just as she spins to storm away from me, I grab ahold of her wrist, trying to stop her from running away before I can explain.
It doesn’t pass over me how little I feel as I touch her, compared to the way I feel when Abby barely brushes my skin. But that’s not what I need to be focusing on here.
Yes, Abby stormed back into my life and flipped it upside down, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve made a life now with Letty. And she has a life growing inside of her, one that I have been in love with since the very moment that she told me.
“I can’t do this with you again, Liam.” Her hand is pulled away from mine, and her eyes move down. “I lost you once to her, and I cannot relive that. I won’t relive that. Not when my daughter’s wellbeing is at stake, here.”
“Our daughter.” My eyes focus on hers. I tip her chin up in a weak attempt to force her to look at me, but she instead grunts in disgust and pulls away.
“My daughter, Liam.”
My stomach twists.
“You lost all rights to call her yours the second you fucked that whore!”
“I deserve that name.” Abby’s voice causes both of our attention to shift. “And I’m really sorry, this is all my fault. I didn’t know about you, I swear. If I would have…”
“Oh, shut the fuck up with your stupid apologies!” Letty turns towards her angrily. “That’s the exact same line that you used the last time that this happened. At least get some new material, Abby. You play the innocent card so well, but deep down, you’re just a man stealing, fucking skank. And you know what? I’m over this shit. I thought you were old news, but you just can’t seem to stay away, can you?”
Letty turns to leave, but Abby steps in her way.
“No.” She tries to reason with her. Too bad she doesn’t remember that reasoning with Letty is like trying to tame a wild bull. “You should stay and let Liam explain. I’m the one who’s leaving.” It’s only then that I notice the suitcase clutched in her hand.
“The fuck you are.” I brush past Letty and snatch the suitcase out of Abby’s hand. “You aren’t going anywhere, except back to your room while I get this all sorted out.”
“No.” Abby stands her ground, folding her arms across her chest and staring hard at me, without even batting an eye. “Look at how much trouble I caused for you! You need to stop worrying about me, Liam. I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, I promise you, I do. But I had no right to show up here like this. We crossed a line, and now, I’ve completely screwed your world up. Please, just let me leave.”
Her eyes roam over Letty, and then rest on Letty’s stomach.
“You are absolutely gorgeous,” she tells her. Letty’s eyes just narrow. “You shouldn’t worry about me. I…” she nibbles furiously on her lower lip. “I’m the one who threw myself at him. More than once. He turned me down, the other times. I ah, I basically made him do it.”
I can’t even stop my eyes from rolling at her weak attempt at saving my ass.
“He didn’t really want me, because he’s in love with you. He told me that. He told me that he didn’t love me anymore, because he’s in love with you.”
Actually, the word love never left my lips. Telling Abby that I loved anyone but her would be like telling someone that I am any race besides human. It just doesn’t fit.
“I am absolutely no competition for you. You have to know that. Showing up here, was a tragic mistake. Please, accept my apology. Liam is all yours.”
“I feel like I’m eighteen years old again.” Letty lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’re supposed to be grown here, Liam. We’re supposed to be starting a family. How in the hell can we do that now? I’ll never be able to look at you the same again.”
“Letty.” I run my hand through my hair in frustration, desperate to get this situation under control. “Please, baby, we can still do that. I fucked up, but it’s not going to happen again.”
I hate the way that Abby flinches as I call Letty baby, instead of her. It feels so fucking wrong, being in this situation, and having to force myself to cut off my feelings for the wrong woman here. My head is such a damn mess.
For a fleeting moment, I’m jealous of Abby’s brain not being able to remember me and to remember what we had. I’d personally love to have no memory of this sordid love triangle that I have yet again, found myself a part of.
My front door swings open, and much to my relief, Luke steps inside. He takes one look around at the three of us, whistles loudly, and then rocks back on his heels.
“Well, fuck. Somebody catch me up to speed on what I missed, because I’m guessing Liam, you’ve had one hell of a morning.”
“Take Abby,” I growl at my brother’s weak attempt at breaking the mood. His eyes travel between the three of us, until finally, they land on her suitcase now in my hand.
“I’m not going anywhere with either of you.” Abby crosses her arms and shoots a glare at me. “I already called Max. He’s on his way here, right now, to pick me up.”
“Oh, fuck that.” I snort, which causes Letty’s eyes to widen, right before they turn to slits on her face. I ignore her stare. She and I will dish all of this out once Abby leaves with Luke. “You’re not going anywhere with that motherfucker.”
“Excuse me?” Abby’s arms flap. “You should be happy that I’m leaving with him. You are officially off duty, Liam. You’ve wanted me gone since I got here. Now, you’re getting exactly what you asked for.”
“I want to keep you safe!” My voice booms so loudly, that everyone around me freezes, including Abby, the gigantic pain in the ass herself. “And the only way that I can do that, is to figure out what happened to you!”
“I was in a car accident, Liam.” Abby sounds exasperated, her voice draining with every word that leaves her mouth. “That’s my problem, not yours. Max is more than happy to come to my rescue, alright? If he were a motherfucker, as you just called him, he’d leave me here, and make me clean up my own mess. Instead, he cancelled the rest of his day, and is heading here, to your house, to pick me up. I’m leaving with him when he gets here, and that’s final.”
“Take her.” My voice is clipped as I stare hard at my brother. “One way or another, take her.”
In one simple movement, Luke grabs Abby and tosses her over his shoulder. She kicks and screams, but she doesn’t stand a chance against my brother. He’s at least three times her size.
The second that the door shuts behind them, I grab Letty’s hand in mine. She immediately jerks it away.
“No.” Her voice is flat, devoid of any emotion. She grabs her purse and marches to the door that Luke just whisked Abby out of. “I can’t do this with you again, Liam. I’m not a teenager anymore, and I’m all done fighting for your love. Figure this out, and then, come find me. The baby and I deserve a hell of a lot better than this, alright? You can sit here and be alone with your excuses. That’s really all that you have, anyways. The second that you put your dick inside of her, you crossed a line that there is no coming back from. I’m all done letting you skate all around the way that it should be.”
18
Abby
I’m furious. Absolutely, fucking furious.
I’ll take some of the bl
ame here, sure. I mean, I willingly walked back into my ex’s life and demanded answers. What I didn’t sign up for though, was being manhandled and treated as though I’m someone’s possession, instead of an actual person.
“I have a head injury, you know?” I glare at Luke, as he speeds down the road away from Liam’s house. “You can’t just toss me around like that. You made all of the blood rush to my head, asshole. You could have caused some serious damage to my head.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He at least sounds sincere. “But there was no other way, and you and I both know that. You’ve always been a stubborn ass. You’ve also been really good at stirring shit up. I don’t suppose that you want to tell me what happened over there, do you? Because whatever I walked in on, looked like a hot fucking mess.”
“You have no idea.” I sink against the seat, shame and humiliation washing over me.
“I honestly had no idea that Liam had a girlfriend, or that she was pregnant. I feel like pond scum right now. I want to crawl in a hole and die.”
“Ah.” He glances at me. “Is that what Liam told you?”
“No.” My head snaps in his direction. “Of course, he didn’t tell me that, which is why I was fucking blindsided by it.” I’m beyond pissed off right now. At myself, at Liam, at the stupid fucking accident that got me here to begin with. I’m equally pissed off that I found this damn letter in the first place. If only I could have fallen asleep that night, I wouldn’t have been pacing. If I wouldn’t have been pacing, then I wouldn’t have stubbed my toe, cursed out loud, and then found that fucking box.
That’s what started this entire debacle. Fuck my damn life.
“So, then, why do you think Liam has a pregnant girlfriend?”
I don’t even respond to him. I just stare at him as if he has three heads.
“I’m just saying, Abby. Not everything is as it appears.”
“Finally.” I roll my eyes. “You’ve managed to spit out something that makes sense. Where are we going, anyways? Are you taking me someplace to put me out of my misery? Because if so, just know that I’m not going to fight you. I’m ready to throw in the towel. This life of mine is a fucking joke.”
“Easy there, suicidal Sally.” He glances at me briefly, looking less than amused by my words. “Nothing is going to happen to you on my watch. We’re going to the gym, and you’re going to sit your pretty little self inside of Liam’s office. You and I have a lot to talk about. First things first, though.” He points to the cell phone clutched in my hand. “Call that man of yours and tell him never mind. You’re not going anywhere, anytime soon.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’m staring down at photographs that make my stomach turn. I feel the bile rising in my throat as I stare down at my own face, my own very beaten and bruised face, that is. Both of my eyes are black and blue. My lips are cracked and swollen, and there is a breathing tube shoved in between them. There are pictures of my broken arm, my broken leg, and of every scratch on my body. There are so many photos, each one making my stomach turn even more.
But when I get to the bottom of the pile, to the pictures of the car that I was driving, well, that’s when I can no longer keep my stomach contents down. I barely make it into the attached bathroom before falling to my knees and vomiting profusely into the toilet.
My head spins. My ears pound. And my heart is racing so fast, that I can hardly catch my breath.
I’ve heard stories about my accident, and I’ve felt the pain from my injuries. Seeing them like this though, depicted and captured in photos is almost too much to bear. Seeing the car that I was driving, crunched underneath a tree, makes it all real. Too real. And I was in no way prepared for any of that today.
“Abby.” Luke knocks once on the door. “Are you ok? I’ve got a glass of water here for you. And, ah. I grabbed a new toothbrush from my place. When you’re ready for it, that is.”
I mumble a response, and then lean back on my heels, resting my head against the coolness of the door. This has been one hell of a day. One that I didn’t anticipate ending the way that it has.
My old life has come back to me, and not the way that I wanted it to.
I now know that when I left, I was running away from a love triangle, one that I never had any chance at winning. The woman that I wasn’t supposed to meet today, is the one who ended up winning in the end. I wonder how many nights I spent with Liam, and how many times he had wished that I was her.
I wonder if the way that I feel right now, as I try desperately to hold onto something that isn’t mine, is the way that I felt the entire time that we were together.
Did he ever really love me? Was anything that we had ever actually real?
Yes, he wrote me a letter, one that spoke to me in a way that I was so desperately searching for, and yet, when actually faced with me, he wanted nothing to do with me. I’m fighting for something that is most definitely not mine. It probably never was. The reality of all of it is devastating.
After what feels like forever, I finally rise to my feet. I collect myself as best I can and then open the door a crack, just enough to accept the toothbrush package, toothpaste, and water. I brush the taste of vomit out of my mouth, and then, splash some cold water on my face. After a few moments of deep breathing, I get myself together enough to open the door.
As fast as I was able to pull myself together, I fall apart all over again, as soon as I see the man waiting for me on the other side of the door.
Luke has vanished, and in his place, is Liam. He stands completely still as I stand frozen in the doorway. When his eyes land on mine, they close briefly, before opening wide, and showing me the depths of sadness lurking inside of his beautiful baby blues.
“Abby.” His voice cracks halfway through my name. I force my eyes down to the floor. I can hardly bear to look at the man. I feel so foolish, so damn stupid, and still, oh so broken.
“Where is Luke?”
“Gone.”
My shoulders sag at the idea of being alone with Liam right now. I’m just not ready to face him. Not after everything that happened between us today.
The dull ache between my legs in the painful reminder of what we did. The sharp pain in my heart is from what I witnessed after. I’m feeling far too broken right now to take any more blows. The pictures still splayed out across the large desk in the center of the room, have officially done me in. All that I want to do is go to sleep and forget that this day ever happened. Too bad I can’t pick and choose what my stupid head will forget and what it will actually remember.
“I think that we need to talk.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, staring down at my feet. “You’ve said that a few times today.”
Liam moves towards the office door, shutting it quietly. The sound of the lock clicking into place falls all around me, wrapping around me, and making me feel weak in the knees.
With the door shut, all that I can smell is him. Fuck. I can still smell him on me. The air around me is circling both his body and mine, making me dizzy, and making it so damn hard to stay focused.
“I can’t.” My voice is so small, and sounds so foreign, even to me.
“We have to, Abs.” His hand cups my elbow, and he pulls me towards him. My breath catches as his body heat crashes into mine. My skin burns from his touch, and my breath leaves me in pants. I don’t even bother to look up to him to see if touching me affects him in the same way.
There’s no point, really. Whatever we had, and whatever we were, is long gone. Everything between us is over and has been for quite some time. It’s high time that I began to accept that.
If only I could have wrapped my head around all of that, before I had sex with him, well, that could have saved us both a lot of grief.
“If you want to talk about the pictures, Liam, I’ve already seen them.” I sink into the chair behind me, pulling my arm out of his reach. The only way that I’m going to be able to form words right now, is if he keeps his hands to himself. As if reading my mind
, he lifts his chin to me, in a similar fashion to the way Luke did earlier.
“Luke told me.” His voice is quiet, as he settles himself behind the desk. “But there’s one that wasn’t in with the rest of them. One in particular, that bears mentioning.”
As he slides another picture across the desk to me, I almost don’t have the courage to look at it. This is all too much, really. Too much for my very sensitive self to handle. But as my eyes open, and I follow his finger to the picture of my neck. I feel the blood leave my face at the same time that recognition sets in.
As his voice crashes over me, my entire world stops spinning. I blink up at him, my eyes desperate to look at something besides the large bruises covering my neck in the photo.
“Someone hurt you, Abby.” His voice is low and pained. His eyes stare back at mine, seemingly searching for any clues as to who could have done this to me. Of course, he finds none, because per usual, I have no fucking idea what happened to me.
“Liam.” I exhale his name, and glance back down at the picture. “I don’t know. Maybe those marks are from the accident. Either way, none of it matters anymore. I appreciate everything that you’re trying to do for me, but I’m calling it, ok? I’m calling it off. I made a mistake by coming back here, and I’ve caused you a lot of unnecessary drama. It’s time for me to bow out of this gracefully, if that’s even an option at this point. Getting involved in this mess with me is the last thing that you need. You have a baby on the way.”
Dammit, I can’t even get it out of my mouth without my voice cracking. I hate the way that it makes me feel. I hate how my heart feels like it’s breaking in my fucking chest over a man that I hardly know.
And, well, fuck. I could have just left it at that, leaving him as yet another person in my life who I don’t have memories of. But then, I had to go and screw it up. I had to create new memories with the man, even going as far as basically throwing myself at him and letting him fuck me against his living room wall. Without even realizing it, my heart remembered him, and now the memories of what have happened here are going to stick with me for the rest of my life.
Worth Repeating (Worth It All Book 1) Page 13