FALSE START (Gods of the Gridiron Book 2)

by Shanna Swenson

  “I—I keep hesitating because I haven’t told her that I actually spoke to you on your death bed. And it’s eating me alive. As if I don’t have enough shit to feel guilty about. I’m sorry we fought so much in the end, but I still loved you even though you fucking cheated on her. Damn you, you had to know she would find out!” Brett crossed his arms and yelled down at the grave. “God, do you know how fucking hard that was—how upset she got? She fucking propositioned me. And I was able to not have intercourse with her. Shows you how much restraint I have! Right? I know, I was just as shocked as you are.”

  He laughed, knowing Hunter would have if he’d been there. If someone walked by, they’d think Brett had lost his damn mind talking to a gravestone like it was a person, but it made him feel better. “Dammit, Hunt, do you know how much we miss you?” he whimpered as he hit his knees before the grave and leaned against the headstone. “I miss you. I miss my brother. The one who told me to suck it up when we lost a game, the one who had my back and always knew where to be on that field. I can’t fucking throw, man. I can’t. I don’t know what the damn problem is. Yeah, I do. It’s because my boy is gone and I’m not throwing him bombs anymore. You took those with you, didn’t you?”

  The wind blew then and ruffled Brett’s hair.

  “You’d give me your blessing, give Quillan your blessing, right? You’d like him, Hunt. He’s a good guy. He’s got the cutest little girl.” Brett began to cry again. “I think it hit Madi hard, seeing that little girl, the life y’all were supposed to have.” He looked up at the sun that beamed down on him then. He smiled, feeling it warm him, fill his hollow heart.

  “I want to give your wife the life she deserved to have with you. I love her, you know how much I love her. It’s just this guilt that I can’t shake, Hunt. I need your forgiveness. I can’t move on without it. Tell me you forgive me for killing you. I’m so sorry. I’d do anything to turn back time.”

  Brett held his breath and waited. Waited for redemption, even retribution. Retribution from a dead man. From a grave. He sat down on his butt, feeling defeated, feeling somewhat crazy for thinking he could come here and receive answers, a pardon.

  Just as he started to rise, he heard a voice calling, “Son, what are you doing?”

  Brett turned, surprise and awe filling him.

  A little boy in a crimson Gladiators jersey came forward with big, chocolate brown eyes and a baseball hat hanging off his little head. He stared at Brett in surprise, holding his gaze for long moments before looking down and pointing. Brett’s eyes fell to see a tortoise walking over Hunter’s grave and he gasped, thinking of a conversation between Hunt and the team when Linc told him that the god Hermes was associated with a tortoise, from one of the fables they’d found online.

  Well, then you named me after the wrong god, Lazarus. I’m far more comparable to the hare, Hunt had smirked to Linc and waited for Linc to deny his claims.

  Linc and the rest of the guys had laughed big then, including Brett, for Hunt’s speed on the field was undeniable.

  Linc had crossed his arms over his chest. There’s more reasons for why I named you Hermes, including that you’re a trickster and you’re fast, thus why I drew wings on your damn cleats, Speedy Gonzales.

  Remembering that conversation had Brett tearing up before he smiled back up at the little boy, now giggling down at the tortoise on the ground.

  “C’mon, champ, let’s go. Mommy’s waiting.”

  Brett nodded at the boy’s father, realizing he knew who he was and looked embarrassed that his son had interrupted Brett’s moment.

  When the little boy turned, Brett covered his mouth. He had on Hunter’s jersey, number 83.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “A tortoise named Hermes. It’s only fitting,” Linc said as he moved over to the aquarium filled with dirt. “But he would have named it something else, ya know?”

  Brett laughed and sipped the beer in his hand. He shrugged. “Probably Speedy.”

  They all laughed and Pax shoved at Brett. “You better not have too many of those, Zeus. We got practice tomorrow.”

  “You perfected your pose yet, merman?” Brett flicked at Paxton’s cup.

  Pax scowled. He didn’t like Brett calling him that, but it was appropriate, especially after he’d caught him practicing his new victory dance while filming himself on his phone; everyone else had found it equally as hilarious.

  “Drink your Kefir and zip it, hippie boy,” Trav smarted and playfully punched at Pax’s bare chest.

  “I’ll have you know this is one of the healthiest—”

  “Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it! Lighten up, will ya? It’s Independence Day. Have a damn cerveza.” Quil grumbled and rolled his eyes, getting another laugh out of the rest of them.

  Quillan had really hit it off with the team. Brett went to practice the day following his visit to Hunter’s grave, and it was as if everything just clicked. They took to the field, Brett threw a deep pass and hit Quil right between the numbers. He, in turn, took it into the end zone for a fifty-yard touchdown. It was as if the minor hiccup they’d had the entire week had never occurred. After that, they were on fire and had quickly formed a bond. They’d been practicing with the rest of the offense for the last few weeks and camp was starting next week. Their practices, routes, and routines were gonna get rigorous, so they were sucking up their last hoorah before their bodies and minds would be put to the test. But Brett felt good about his team, good about this year, and he planned to dedicate his to his best friend, Hunter Thomas.

  Brett saw TJ looking around and stifled a smirk. He was looking for Brooke, Brett knew, Madi’s younger sister. Brooke was attractive in her own right, with straight brown hair, brown eyes, and deeper tanned skin than Madi’s; but Brooke was a loose cannon. She was admittedly open to both sexes, male and female. Hell, Brett wouldn’t put it past her to sleep with transsexuals. After all, she was much more liberal than her conservative sister and prided herself on being in the spotlight any chance she got; she was a model and pushed the envelope with her poses and stages of undress. She loved attention, good or bad, and that made her “dangerous” in Brett’s eyes.

  Brett had first noticed TJ’s appraising eyes on Brooke at the memorial they’d held for Hunter. Every get-together or event they’d had since, TJ had watched her but hadn’t spoken to her much since Brooke made it known that she wasn’t into football players. Brett considered warning his OT about Brooke’s shiftiness, but knew TJ would figure it out on his own. It wasn’t Brett’s business anyway.

  “She’s happy, really happy, Brett.” Pax nodded over to Madi then, elbowing his QB.

  Madi was laughing at something Skyla was saying, bouncing Lennox in her lap on the pool stairs. She looked stunning in a bright yellow, lacy bikini that complemented her lightly tanned skin.

  Brett smiled. She was, and he was too; incredibly happy, happier than he could ever remember being. They were in love, completely and desperately, despite that he still hadn’t made love to her yet. He wanted to, he wanted to so badly, but he was waiting. He played the part of the ever-present gentleman he’d always been with her, courting her like a man was supposed to court a woman: taking her out to dinner, shows, and on trips. He sent her flowers, love notes, and gifts for no reason other than to see her smile.

  She’d moved into his house, and they slept in the same bed together…and they’d done amazing things together, all except intercourse. He didn’t want to impose on her; he wanted to make sure she was ready for the next step of their relationship. Hell, it’d just been four and a half months since Hunter’s death, and Brett didn’t need anything else to feel apologetic for. He was just now starting to feel whole again.

  Madi had sold the house; this was their last weekend hanging out here before the movers came. Most of the furniture was being donated, some was going into a storage unit, and the clothes were going to Brett’s. It had been Madi’s idea to give the house a farewell party; that just happened to coincide with t
he fourth of July.

  “Daddy, are you getting in the pool?” Valeria swam over with Lofton as she looked up at Linc, eyes hinting like she might refer to him as Daddy when the boys weren’t around too.

  “Yes, sexy mama, I’m coming,” Linc confirmed and shrugged at the guys as he moved to the edge of the pool.

  Brett continued to man the grill and smirked as Langley laughed.

  “Can’t say as I blame him. Blondes have more fun anyway, right, Brett?”

  Brett frowned at the conviction in Lang’s eyes.

  “Hell, he wouldn’t know,” Trav mumbled under his breath, but Lang caught it and Brett could’ve punched Travis in the mouth. Trav saw it and immediately apologized, “Sorry, man, it’s just…when the hell are you gonna take the plunge? Don’t tell me you still feel guilty?”

  “I forget my girlfriend is friends with yours,” Brett grated, annoyed, and Pax laughed.

  “Gotta take her out of the friendzone, man,” TJ suggested with a shrug of his big shoulders.

  “Right? Thank you. I mean, can you really even call her your girlfriend? Just sayin’.” Travis put his hands up as Brett gritted his teeth and lunged forward.

  “Looks like we might have Trav dogs instead of beef franks.” Brett bawled up his fist and pointed it at Travis in warning.

  “Easy, Zeus,” Pax patted Brett’s shoulder.

  “Fuck all y’all. We’re dating, we’re together. I don’t need to stick my dick in her for it to be official.” He huffed. “You know what? You guys wouldn’t understand anyway. Linc, how would you feel if I moved in on Val before you’d barely even started to rot in your grave, huh?”

  At that, all five guys balked.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought, so back off.” Brett turned the dogs and kept his eyes low. He didn’t need them to tell him what constituted a relationship. None of them had ever been as patient as he’d been, so how could they possibly understand waiting to make love to the woman of their dreams until she was over her husband’s death? They couldn’t. Furthermore, there was nothing wrong with waiting for the moment to be right. Brett intended to make love to Madi, but he wanted it to be perfect. He wanted to marry her, too. And he had no idea when she’d be up for that again. Besides, it was really none of their business.

  Brett’s eyes looked over at Lang suddenly, who was intent on Madi’s bikini-clad frame as she handed Lennox over to Skyla. Her breasts bobbled precariously as she righted her low-cut top and blushed at the near-exposure. A flash of jealous, angry heat shot through him at the memory of a similar encounter not long ago:

  “Hey, my boys,” Madi cooed as she ran up to them, smiling. She was clad in workout gear, a tight gray sports bra and black shorts, her blonde hair curly and pulled back in a ponytail. She looked sexy as hell, and Brett wasn’t the only one to notice—or appreciate—her outfit as he greeted her in turn.

  “Hey, baby,” Hunt grinned like he’d just been given the winning lottery ticket.

  “Have a good practice. I love you both.” She blew kisses to both Hunter and Brett before moving off to the edge of the football field for her morning run, breasts and bottom bouncing.

  “Mmm, damn you, Hunter Thomas! You get to hit that fine ass tonight.”

  Brett was two seconds from reaching out and grabbing Langley in a chokehold for his words, only to hear Hunter laughing victoriously beside him.

  The two sets of eyes that roved Madi’s retreating backside had Brett feeling murderous. Lang and Hunt were eating her up like she was a free buffet—and he was absolutely livid.

  “Correction, dude, I’m gonna hit that fine ass here in about an hour when we get a break,” Hunt replied, brow arching as he glanced at his Rolex.

  Brett felt his stomach pitch, appalled that Hunter would allow Langley to talk about his wife, and boss, in such a lewd manner.

  When Langley walked ahead, Brett grabbed the back of Hunt’s shirt and held him fast.

  “What kinda man says such things about the woman he’s supposed to love, honor and cherish, huh?” He gritted through his clenched teeth. “How dare you allow that bastard to disrespect your wife that way!” Brett’s gaze bore holes into Hunter. Hunter looked taken aback, remorseful, and ill-equipped, but it was anger that he answered Brett with.

  “Why don’t you mind your own damn business? Seeing as she’s my wife, after all, and not yours! You tend to keep forgetting that, Zeus.”

  The memory was poignant as Brett remembered Hunt’s poor treatment, and poor defense, of Madi. He realized, once again, how wrong Hunter had been for her.

  A throat cleared bringing Brett from his reverie, and he looked back to Lang who was entertained by the baby now in Linc’s arms.

  They all stood there, quietly sipping their beers, Pax his Kefir, before Quil calmly said, “You know what, Brett? I personally commend you. I think it takes a strong man to be able to hold—”

  “Fuck you, Quil.”

  “Yup. So, about practice tomorrow…”

  Everyone laughed then, even Brett, who playfully shoved at Quil. Travis patted his shoulder in apology, and all was right as rain again. That’s how dudes were, fighting one minute, joking the next. He loved these assholes and couldn’t wait to play ball with them.

  Madison grinned over at Brett, taking his hand in hers as they waited for the fireworks to begin. Lofton and Lennox looked up from their blanket at the ones they could see in the distance, and their little baby blabber tickled Madi’s heart. They were so precious, and she wished she had one of her own. One day she would. With the man who held her heart in his massive hands.

  He leaned in to kiss her, and she reveled in the feel of his masculine presence. They’d not made love yet and, as eager as she was, there was also a side of her that was relieved they hadn’t gone all the way. She hadn’t planned to move on so soon after Hunter had died, but life was funny that way; it still didn’t take away the slight hesitations she had though, even if it were Brett she was falling in love with.

  Madi leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer into his embrace. He smelled like sunshine, sweat, chlorine, and a scent that was all him, both sweet and manly; she couldn’t get enough of him. His nose moved along her jawbone, and she shivered as his mouth settled on her throat. He made her feel safe and loved. These past few weeks with him had been amazing.

  He seemed to get the answers he’d sought that day at the gravesite when he’d brought the tortoise home; whatever he’d been seeking, he’d found, despite that Madi didn’t understand where a turtle came to play in all of it. She simply let him have his symbolism and reaped the benefits.

  The fireworks went up and the babies clapped even as Travis whistled from the opposite side and tackled a squealing Skyla to the blanket. Jeez, those two. Skyla would be the next having a baby and, as wonderful as that was, it also made Madi extremely jealous. She couldn’t get over her issue with the whole lack of a child, and she wondered if it was because her biological clock had started to tick. She tried not to overanalyze it as Brett kissed her passionately and grabbed at her breast. She grunted and swatted his hand away—albeit playfully—interlacing her hand through his as she looked up at the explosions of red, blue, and shimmering white lights blasting through the onyx night sky. It was beautiful and made her feel happy, despite that this was their last night in this house.

  It would make a fine home for the family coming in, but it didn’t feel like home anymore to her. She was glad to be shutting this door in her life. She’d loved Hunter, but it was time to finally say goodbye; this house was the endgame of that closure.

  Brett was kissing her again, drawing her desire out as his tongue stroked across hers. His hand moved from hers to her breast again, and she began to scold him only to stop as his hand descended her body, coming to rest on her thigh. He nudged her legs open and moved his hand into her bikini bottoms, dipping a finger in between her folds. She stifled a moan, watching the brilliance of lights dance over his handsome face. He thru
st his finger inside her slowly, then removed it and brought it slowly to his lips, sucking it into his mouth, savoring it and making her lust for him increase tenfold. He then leaned in to kiss her again and rubbed the essence of her across her taste buds. He loved to bait her, and she wondered how long he would hold out before he finally put out.

  They made out for a time, touching each other subtly and erotically while the fireworks lit up the summer sky, but soon they were over and everyone was talking again.

  Madi’s pulse quickened when she heard Skyla squeal in delight and turned to see Travis on one knee, proposing.

  “Holy shit, he’s actually doing it,” Brett whispered before closing his mouth abruptly as Madi’s finger went to his lips. Tears came to her eyes as she watched Travis, more emotional than she’d ever seen him.

  “Skyla Lynette Larson, I love you. Eight months ago, I went into a cabin in the woods a broken man and I came out whole thanks to you.” Travis wiped a tear running down his cheek but grinned back at the redhead covering her mouth. “I didn’t know how lost I truly was until you found me, Fireball. I love what you do to me, how you make me feel, how amazing life with you every day is. I want that to go on forever. Say you’ll be mine. Say you’ll marry me. Say you’ll make me a husband and a father. Say…”

  “Oh, shut up and let me say yes would you, you stubborn ram?”

  Travis busted out laughing and nodded, and Sky replied with a, “Yes,” before he placed the big solitaire on her finger and pulled her into his arms.