This wasn’t getting them anywhere. He wasn’t doing himself any favors with the way he was acting right now, and thanks to Quinn, she already had a bad opinion of him, one that he would have to fight. Stepping away from her, he raked a hand through his hair and let out a weary sigh. Maybe it was time to just let this go. His life was total crap right now, and she wasn’t looking to get involved with anyone, so why was he fighting this?
When he faced her again, he had his answer.
Because she was beautiful.
Because she challenged him.
Because she had the potential to break his heart.
In a perfect world, all the obstacles would be removed. But this wasn’t a perfect world and he was an imperfect man. And because he had nothing left to lose, he leaned in and kissed her.
Chapter 4
Bobby Hannigan was kissing her.
At first, Teagan had no idea what to do. The kiss was so unexpected and it had been so incredibly long since a man had kissed her. First it felt foreign.
And then it felt oh-so-right.
Slowly, she stepped in close to him and reveled in the feel of his arms going around her as he deepened the kiss. It was slow and sexy and felt more intimate than anything she had ever experienced before.
The man had serious skills.
As if of their own accord, her hands smoothed up over his chest—mindful of his shoulder—and carefully wound around him as she pressed up against his body.
Oh, how she had forgotten how good it felt for a man to hold her. So long. It had been so long since she had felt like this—had wanted to feel like this—and Bobby was pure male perfection. Even as she let the sensations wrap around her, there was a little voice inside of her reminding her how out of her league this man was. He was so big and sexy and virile and—at least according to her cousin—could have any woman he wanted. So what was he doing here with her?
“Mom! Can I stop reading now?”
It was like a bucket of cold water being dumped on her.
Teagan almost jumped out of Bobby’s arms and quickly turned away. She needed a minute to compose herself, so she stepped around him and replied to her son. “Five more minutes, okay?”
Lucas mumbled his agreement, and for once, she wished he would have argued. Just so she would have an excuse for a little more time before having to look at the man who’d effectively turned her world upside down in a matter of seconds.
“Teagan.”
That was it. Just her name, yet it was as soft as a caress. She turned around and prayed she didn’t look as nervous as she felt.
His expression was filled with heat. If Lucas hadn’t called out to her, she had no doubt Bobby would still be kissing her right now.
She glanced down at the floor before looking at him again and was surprised to see how close he was standing. He reached out and caressed her cheek.
“I’m not sorry for kissing you,” he said, his voice so low she almost couldn’t hear him. Then he moved in closer and rested his forehead against hers. “And I hope you’re not sorry you kissed me.”
Right now, she couldn’t be sure.
The kiss had been amazing, awakening a part of her she’d thought was long gone. But there was no way she was going to admit that to him.
Unfortunately, he was staring at her, waiting for a response.
She let out a long, low breath. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”
The smile he gave her almost had her melting right there at his feet. “The truth would be a good place to start,” he prompted.
He was right. She didn’t believe in playing games or lying—no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassing the truth was. “I’m not sorry either,” she admitted softly. “But—”
Bobby immediately placed a finger over her lips. “No buts,” he said. “Not right now. Not yet.”
Cautiously, she grasped his wrist, pulling his hand away. “It won’t change how I feel, Bobby. I meant what I said earlier. I’m not looking to get involved with anyone. I can’t.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
That was a little surprising. From everything she had heard about him from Quinn and what she’d observed on her own, he should be thankful she was giving him an out. Couldn’t he see how complicated her life was? Why would he want to yoke himself to a woman with a child? He wouldn’t be the center of her world. Someone else would always get most of her attention.
She looked up at him, into those amazingly clear blue eyes, and did her best to pull off a patient smile. “I think right now we’ll have to agree to disagree.” She paused. “We both have a lot of baggage that isn’t…conducive to any kind of relationship.”
“Even friendship?” he asked, but his tone was way more serious than it had been a minute ago.
“Considering what just happened here, I don’t see how we could possibly have even that. There would be temptation—lines would get blurred—and that’s not really fair to either of us.”
Now his expression turned fierce. “So what are you saying? That this is it? I’m just supposed to leave and, what? Never see you or Lucas again? What happened to the things you said earlier, about how walking away wasn’t fair to your son? One kiss and now I’m just supposed to disappear?”
Okay, he had a completely valid point there. She was throwing out mixed signals, but it was only because she was so confused! Teagan wanted to believe she was the kind of person who could be friends with a man she was completely attracted to. But after that kiss? Every time she saw him, it would be all she could think about.
“Look, I—I wasn’t expecting this. You,” she corrected. “It’s been a long time since I even had to think about this kind of situation.” Then she stopped and shook her head. “That’s not true. This is the first time I’ve ever had to deal with this kind of situation.”
She saw the confusion on his face and knew she had to finish what she started.
“Give me one minute.” Before he could respond, Teagan walked over to Lucas’s room—but he was asleep on his bed, his book still in his hand. She closed the door most of the way and walked back to the living room, motioning for Bobby to sit down.
“I haven’t dated anyone since Logan died,” she said quietly.
He sat opposite her, his elbows resting on his knees as he studied her. “Logan?”
“My fiancé. Lucas’s father,” she replied. “We dated for three years and were planning on getting married. He was in the army and had gotten deployed to Afghanistan.” She took a steadying breath before continuing. “He never came home. Never knew I was pregnant.”
Bobby hung his head and she heard him mutter a curse.
“He’s been gone for six years, and during that entire time, all I could focus on was my son. Every day was a struggle, and dating wasn’t even on my radar.”
He looked up at her with nothing but sadness and compassion. “I’m so sorry, Teagan. I had no idea.”
She remembered her cousin saying the same thing to her when he was here. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”
He nodded.
“Most of the time, I’m okay. Lucas keeps me busy and our life is very good. My folks helped me out so much—they still do. I was able to continue my education and get my master’s, and now I’m finally starting the job that I have been working toward for years.” She looked at him sadly. “I’m only human, Bobby. My time and energy has to go to my son first, and then to this new job. This—this thing between us, I don’t know what to make of it. Except that I…I can’t make anything of it. Not now. Please tell me you understand.”
The look on his face told her he didn’t.
But he didn’t argue.
“Bobby? Say something. Please.”
He leaned back against the sofa. “As much as I’d like to believe being around me would be too much of a temptation
to you, I don’t think that’s the case. I think you’re an incredibly strong-willed woman who wouldn’t allow that to happen.”
He paused and seemed to consider his next words. “Here’s the thing. I like spending time with you. I like hanging out with Lucas. He’s a great kid. And as much as you may not believe this, we’re bound to keep running into each other because of our families. My parents are best friends with Ian and Martha Shaughnessy. Your parents are starting to hang out with all of them too. My sister is married to your cousin, and we have a tendency to get together for big family meals all the time. So…if this is where you’re going to be living, and if you’ll be spending time with your cousins, we’ll see each other. Wouldn’t it be better if it wasn’t awkward or if we weren’t trying to avoid one another?”
Damn. She hadn’t thought about that. “I guess it makes sense,” she said. “But—”
“No,” he cut her off. “No buts. This isn’t something that can be settled right now or wrapped up in a neat little bow. I can’t help the way I feel, Teagan. Maybe you can. Maybe you’ve had to out of necessity, I don’t know. But for now, all I can do is promise to take things as they come. I can’t predict how either of us is going to think or act or feel—tomorrow, next week, next year.”
And dammit, even that made sense! Normally, she was the voice of reason and it felt weird for someone else to do that for her.
“I just don’t want you to expect anything of me,” she admitted after a minute. “You don’t live around here, and while I know your family does, I’m going to notice if you start showing up all the time. I need space, and I don’t want to feel pressured.”
He nodded. “Have I done anything here today to pressure you?”
“You kissed me,” she blurted out and wanted to be offended when he laughed.
“Sweetheart, you kissed me right back.”
She had.
“When you pulled away,” he went on, “I didn’t stop you. When you wanted to talk, I sat down.”
He was right. He had.
“I don’t know what happens from here.”
Then he smiled—nothing more, nothing less. “From here, I thank you for getting me an ice pack for my eye. Then I tell Lucas goodbye and encourage him to keep practicing while promising we’ll do it again sometime, and then…I leave.” His gaze bored into hers. “And we both know we’re going to see each other again. Maybe not tomorrow or two days from now, but soon.”
She was so entranced by his words and the confidence behind them that she almost asked him “when.” When would they see each other again.
But she didn’t. She couldn’t. It wasn’t who she was.
At least, she didn’t think it was who she was.
Right now, she almost didn’t recognize herself.
He stood and looked toward her son’s room.
“He’s asleep,” she said, coming to her feet. “You must have exhausted him.”
Bobby nodded and looked back at her. “Then please relay my message to him. I think he did great today. He’ll be ready to try it without the stand in no time.”
“I will.”
They stood like that—facing one another silently, hungrily—until he looked away and took a step toward the front door. “Thanks for the ice pack. It helped.”
He’d said he would say that to her.
“You’re welcome.”
Opening the front door, he paused. “So… I guess I’ll see you around.”
She nodded.
And then he was gone.
It was what had to happen. So why did the door closing behind him suddenly make her feel so alone?
* * *
Pulling away from Teagan’s house was harder than Bobby had imagined. He could stay—but he wasn’t. He was going back to Myrtle Beach. Why? Because he needed time alone to think about everything that had just happened. Between the kiss and learning about Lucas’s father…it was a lot to take in.
And he felt a little guilty about making her discuss something that was clearly still painful for her.
If he could, he would take all her pain away—he’d do what he could to make her happy. He wanted to see her smile, to never see that sadness in her eyes again.
And that’s when fear grabbed him by the throat.
What was happening to him? And why now? Of all the women he’d ever known, what was it about this one that had him so freaking head over heels so fast?
She was right—they both had a lot of baggage. That more than anything else should have been enough to scare him off. Or at the very least, been enough to make him realize he was lucky they hadn’t taken things any further. But rather than making him feel better, he felt worse. He was discovering that he didn’t mind her baggage. He was already crazy about Lucas. Bobby had always enjoyed being an uncle, and not just to Quinn and Anna’s kids. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d always assumed that one day he’d get married and have kids of his own.
Only…it had started feeling more and more like an elusive dream. He hadn’t met anyone he’d felt the kind of connection with for thoughts of marriage and a future.
Wait, wait, wait—was that what he was thinking about now? Already?
“No,” he said adamantly as he pulled onto the interstate. “No way. You like Teagan, you’re attracted to Teagan, but that’s it. You just want her because you can’t have her.”
Yeah. That had to be it. Once he realized that the only reason he felt like this was because she wasn’t fawning all over him like women usually did, he could move on and they could just be friends.
Simple, right?
What he needed to do was stop thinking about Teagan and put his focus back where it belonged—on recovering and getting back to work. If he could just get that all worked out, no doubt he wouldn’t have time to be thinking about her. They’d see each other occasionally at some family function and it would be no big deal.
So that’s what he did.
Once he got home, he called his physical therapist and told him he wanted to try to up his therapy. There wasn’t much he could do at home except for some light strength training. But it was a start.
Once that was done, he contacted his captain and asked about what he could do to get back to work. He still needed medical clearance to return to active street duty, but the captain was open to the idea of having Bobby in a desk position.
He hated the idea, but he could at least try it out.
That lasted a day.
His captain pulled him aside by the end of the afternoon and told him—point-blank—that he needed to focus on healing because he wasn’t ready to be back to work in any capacity. And Bobby had no one to blame but himself. He’d snapped at everyone who made any kind of comment about him sitting behind a desk, and twice he’d tried to go out on a call that came in for assistance.
Captain Seaton was always fair, and Bobby had never disagreed with his personnel decisions. And he still didn’t. If he said Bobby wasn’t ready, then he had no choice but to accept it.
That left him back at home with way too much time on his hands. He stared at the ceiling and thought about how much he wished things in his life were different. Which led to thoughts of Teagan. It had been less than a week since he’d seen her—since he’d kissed her—and it felt like much longer.
Was she thinking about him? Was she second-guessing her decision to let him walk away? And was it wrong that he hoped she was?
There was still one aspect of their situation that hadn’t been dealt with.
Quinn.
If it hadn’t been for the fact that Kaitlyn and Brian had been sick that day, Bobby would have driven over there after he’d left Teagan’s and given his brother-in-law a piece of his mind. How dare Quinn warn Teagan away from him! After all the years of antagonism and animosity, he’d thought they were over it. And yet the first chance he
had to maybe say something nice, Quinn had gone and put him down.
Part of him understood. After all, how many years had Bobby said and done everything possible to warn his sister off of Quinn? But it had all worked out in the end. Why did the guy have to make such a douchebag move?
He huffed with irritation as he sat on his couch. He had half a mind to call Quinn up and confront him, but right now he was a little too annoyed to do it. The way he felt now, it would turn into a childish game of trading insults, which wouldn’t get him anywhere. And then Quinn would find a way to tell Teagan he’d behaved badly again.
And that wouldn’t help his cause in any way, shape, or form.
So where did it leave him? What was he supposed to do to fill his time? He’d proved that working a desk job wasn’t going to happen, and even if he went for physical therapy every day, all day, it still wouldn’t help. His body was going to heal at its own pace no matter how much he wanted it to happen faster.
Grabbing the remote, he flipped on the TV and channel surfed for a little while. Nothing caught his attention, and he eventually settled on watching sitcom reruns. It was mindless entertainment, and right now, pretty much exactly what he needed.
Three episodes later, his phone rang. He smiled when he saw his mother’s face on the cell screen.
“Hey, Mom,” he said. “How are you?”
“That was going to be my first question to you,” she said with a small laugh. “Anna mentioned you were in town on Saturday, but I never saw you. Is everything okay?”
“Oh yeah,” he said, hesitating just a little. “I was bored and thought I’d hang out with her and the kids, but they were sick.”
“She told me. Poor little things,” Mary said sympathetically. “They’re finally on the mend, and they were just lucky that little Bailey didn’t get it. But I’m afraid Anna’s going to come down with it next. I’ve got plenty of hand sanitizer in the house and I’m prepared to head over to help out if it happens.”
No doubt his mother would. She was the ultimate mom and grandmother.
“Hopefully you won’t have to,” he said. “Then you’ll risk getting it.”
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