“I’ve got a great immune system. It takes a lot to get me sick these days.”
“Let’s not test that theory,” he said with a laugh of his own. “So what else is going on? Anything exciting?”
“Why don’t you tell me?” she said cryptically.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I heard that after you got booted from your sister’s house, you went and babysat for Teagan.”
He groaned and his head lolled back onto the sofa cushions. Why did his sister have to share that information?
“Um…yeah. I did. Anna was supposed to watch Lucas, and Teagan had plans. I was already in town and her parents weren’t, so she didn’t have anyone to help her out. I had nothing to do, so it wasn’t a big deal.”
“Hmm…”
“What? What was that sound about?”
“I just find it interesting you’d volunteer for babysitting duty. You barely know Teagan and Lucas. I mean, I know you met them at Ian’s, but your behavior that day was…a little less than friendly.”
He didn’t hold in the groan this time. “Yeah, well, I felt bad about that. I figured I should do something about it and try and show Teagan I wasn’t a complete jerk.”
“Any particular reason you want her to know that?”
So. Not. The. Conversation. To have. With. Your. Mom.
“Just trying to be nice to family, Mom.” Maybe by emphasizing the family connection, she’d back off.
“Teagan’s not your family.”
Okay, clearly he underestimated his mother’s intuition.
“She basically is. She’s Quinn’s cousin. Quinn’s married to my sister. Therefore, family.”
Mary sighed patiently. “You know what I mean, Bobby.”
“Look, can we stop tiptoeing around this? Just say what you’re trying to say.”
She was silent for a moment before she said, “Fine. I think Teagan is a beautiful young woman. She’s very smart and funny, and I think maybe you’re a little attracted to her. Personally, I think she’d be very lucky to date—and maybe marry—you. She’d be good for you.”
Now he wanted to bang his head against the wall. Marry? His mother had gone there? Already?
“Mom…”
“What? What did I say?”
“I think you’ve got a wild imagination,” he said. “And you’re way off base here. Trust me.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Mom,” he warned gently.
“Robert Hannigan, let me tell you something…”
Gone was his sweet mother and in her place was the firm voice of a disciplinarian who was comfortable making her children squirm.
No matter how old they were.
“You aren’t getting any younger, and neither am I. Now, I sat back and watched as every girl in town chased after you. Personally, you’re too good-looking for your own good,” she chided. “But the fact remains that you’re getting too old for that kind of behavior. You need to start thinking about settling down.”
“I really don’t think—”
“I’m not finished talking,” she interrupted, and Bobby’s mouth instantly snapped shut.
“Believe it or not, I think you getting shot was a good thing.”
“Mom!” he cried. “What the hell?”
“Oh, hush and let me finish,” she said patiently. “The recovery time has forced you to slow down. Now, I had hoped you would start to…maybe reevaluate your life. Unfortunately, you spent most of your time being surly and uncooperative and even downright bratty.”
“Aren’t I a little too old to be called bratty?”
“Aren’t you a little too old to be acting bratty?” she countered.
Touché.
“All I’m trying to say is that maybe now is a good time to think about your future. You’ve still got some time left before you return to work—”
“If I return to work.”
She sighed. “Bobby, you know how proud of you we all are. You’ve chosen a very noble and honorable career, and you put your life on the line every single day. I know what happened in that convenience store was horrible and I hate that it happened, but you’ve been given the opportunity to have some time to focus on you and nothing else. Have you given any thought to your future? About what will happen if you…can’t go back to being a police officer?”
It was all he’d been able to think about. The only problem was, he didn’t have any answers. And for all his stress about the possibility, he hadn’t given any thought to what he’d do if it became a reality.
“I’m not saying any of this to upset you,” Mary went on, “but for weeks we’ve all tried to be very careful about what we said around you and not to upset you. I don’t think that was such a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because your father and I pride ourselves on being honest. We’ve never candy-coated anything for you or Anna.”
He snorted with annoyance.
“Do you know how many times we begged your sister to move on from Quinn?”
Okay, this was new information. “Really?”
“We did. But some things are inevitable. They needed to take that bumpy road to get to where they are now. We always supported her, even when we didn’t always agree with her choices.” She paused and let that sink in. “That’s why I feel it’s important for us to talk right now, Bobby. We’re worried about you. Not just about your arm, but about all of you.”
“What does any of this have to do with Teagan?” He instantly wished he could take the question back, because he wasn’t thrilled with the interrogation he was already getting.
Although talking about his mental health wasn’t much of an alternative.
“Hearing you went to help out Teagan gave me hope that you were snapping out of your funk. It meant you were engaging in life again, at least a little. I’ve never known you not to chase after a beautiful woman, so it seemed like we were getting a glimpse of your old self.”
That last statement bothered him.
A lot.
Okay, so he did chase after women. That wasn’t wrong, or new information. But now it was clear that it was how everyone else saw him too.
And not just Quinn.
Dammit.
“I was really just trying to do something nice to make up for acting like such a jerk to her at the barbecue.”
“And when you started to fix the kitchen sink,” she added.
“How the hell do you know about that?” he cried with frustration. Seriously, was nothing off-limits?
“Please, your sister tells me everything. This can’t be news to you.”
Unfortunately, it was. He’d never given much thought to how much people—and his family—talked about him. Now he knew. A lot!
“So I suppose everyone thinks I’m a jerk, right? Everyone including the Shaughnessys are talking about how awful I was to Teagan?”
“Well, Riley and Savannah weren’t in town…”
“Not funny, Mom!” he snapped. “So now what? Am I going to have some sort of angry mob chasing after me? Are her parents going to get an earful and warn her and Lucas to stay away from me?”
“Do you want them to be warned to stay away from you?”
Oh, she was good. His mother was crafty, and why had he never realized how devious she could be? Hell, she could probably get a job on the police force with these interview techniques!
“Can’t I just do something nice and have everyone leave it at that?” he asked wearily. “I realized I was wrong and I tried to make it right. That’s it. End of story.”
Mary sighed loudly. “Fine,” she said primly. “End of story.”
“Thank you.”
“But let me just say this…”
He knew she’d given in too easily.
&nbs
p; “Teagan and Lucas have already dealt with enough in their lives. That poor child will never know his father, and Teagan carries a lot of responsibility for someone so young. Her parents are lovely people and they help her out in every way they can, but…it’s not the same as having someone special there for her.”
Yeah, he knew exactly what she meant, because he felt the same way. From the moment he’d first seen her, he’d felt protective. That feeling only grew stronger every time he was around her.
Which wasn’t often enough.
“Teagan and Lucas are a tight little family unit, and I don’t think she’s looking for someone to save her. She seems fiercely independent.”
“She is. She needs to be. But it doesn’t mean at the end of the day she doesn’t wish there was someone there beside her to share some of the responsibilities.”
“You can’t know that, Mom.”
“And yet I do.”
For some reason his heart began to race. He needed to know, but didn’t want his mother to realize how important that information was to him.
“I spent two weeks with her parents, Bobby. Martha and I talked a lot during the cruise, so I probably know more than I should about Teagan and her life.”
“Like—like what?” he asked, the words feeling wrong even as he spoke them.
“It’s not my story to tell,” Mary said softly. “But Teagan’s strong because she has to be. Having a military dad meant she didn’t really get to be overly dependent. Don’t get me wrong, they’re great parents, but her father was a little more…structured than he was nurturing. And those were Catherine’s words, not mine,” she quickly amended.
He thought he understood what she was trying to say. Teagan couldn’t—or wouldn’t—show weakness or talk about how much she was struggling because that wasn’t how she’d been raised. Maybe her father expected her to be strong, to roll with the proverbial punches, and now it was just what she did. But if things could be different, what would she do?
“Believe it or not, the two of you are very much alike,” she said, interrupting his thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re both too independent. You hate asking for help.”
“You just said her parents help her all the time.”
Mary laughed softly. “They do that because they love her and Lucas. She doesn’t really have to ask, they’ve all just settled into a routine. But when she really needs help, she’s a little more hesitant to ask. Almost downright stubborn. Like someone else I know.”
“It doesn’t make us bad people, Mom. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to take care of ourselves.”
“There is when there are people who can help.”
Why? Why were they still talking about this? Why couldn’t she accept that this was who he was? “I let you and Dad help me after I got shot.”
“Only because you didn’t have a choice,” she reminded him. “If there had been a way for you to handle everything on your own, or if you’d had a partner by your side, you would have.”
“Well, yeah,” he said, not seeing her point. “But I wouldn’t have liked it, either. It wouldn’t matter if it was you or Dad or Anna or…or a girlfriend or wife, I couldn’t ever be happy with needing someone to do everything for me.”
“You need to get over that.”
He laughed. Hard. “Easier said than done, Mom. Sorry.”
“I just worry about you. It’s a mother’s right,” she stated.
“I know, and I love you for it.”
“Aww, and I never tire of hearing you say that.”
He smiled even though she couldn’t see him.
“And I hope you think about what I said. You really do need to start thinking about what you’re going to do, Bobby. Nothing is guaranteed—not our jobs, and not our tomorrows. What are you going to do if you can’t go back on active duty?”
“I know it’s a possibility, Mom, but I can’t bring myself to think beyond that. It’s just…it’s too hard.”
“Fine. I won’t push.”
“Thank you.”
The conversation finally turned to more mundane topics like the weather and how she and his father were already planning their next vacation. He loved how they were nearing retirement and were finally getting to enjoy their lives a little more.
“So I hope we’ll see you next weekend?”
“Why? What’s going on next weekend?”
“It’s Brian’s birthday, silly,” she said, chuckling. “I can’t believe you didn’t remember.”
Neither could he.
“Oh, okay. Great. Of course I’ll be there. I’ll drive up Friday and shop and—”
“Not this weekend, Bobby, next weekend—as in a week and a half from now.”
“Oh. Right.” Where was his calendar? Oh yeah, on his phone, which was currently pressed to his face. “Okay. I’ll still plan on coming in on Friday, if that’s all right.”
“Of course! You could even come in on Thursday after your last physio appointment for the week, if you don’t have anything to do. Assuming you’re still on the same schedule, you could leave right after and make it a four-day weekend.”
It was scary how much she knew about his life—even at this age.
“Sounds good, Mom. I’ll see you then.”
By the time he hung up, he was mentally exhausted.
And almost an hour had gone by.
It was late in the day, and he supposed he could grab something for dinner. As much as he’d tried to convince himself to do a full grocery-shopping trip and restock his pantry and refrigerator, he’d yet to get to it. The only options he had on hand were cereal, rice, or grilled cheese—minus the cheese.
So…toast.
“None of that’s going to work,” he said, forcing himself to stand up and stretch. Walking into his bedroom, he looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. He barely recognized himself. He seriously needed a haircut and he hadn’t shaved since coming back from Teagan’s. His stomach growled loudly, but he convinced himself a shower and shave would go a long way toward making himself feel better first. And no doubt the public would appreciate it if he put a bit of effort into his appearance before leaving the house.
Another hour had gone by before he walked out his front door. The drive into the heart of town felt good. It was busy and there were people everywhere since it was the summer season, but he enjoyed the chaos it provided—as long as it was orderly chaos.
For the first time since the shooting, he drove past the convenience store where it happened. He tensed, and it was almost as if his shoulder knew where they were and began to throb. It wasn’t possible, but it sure felt that way. There was no reason to stop, no reason even to slow down, but that’s just what he did.
Pulling into the parking lot, he noted how new the glass on the front windows looked. His mind flashed back to the glass breaking in the hail of gunfire. Now he was fighting a panic attack as his heart raced and memories washed over him.
Just drive away. You don’t have to be here.
He couldn’t move. He was momentarily paralyzed, staring straight ahead until everything began to blur. Time stopped, and he didn’t even realize that people were coming and going—life had gone on. It wasn’t until someone knocked on his window that he was able to turn away.
Standing beside his car was Nick Moceri—one of his brothers on the Myrtle Beach police force. Forcing himself to take a few deep breaths, Bobby stepped out of the car.
“Bobby! Hey, it’s great to see you!” Nick said, clapping him on his good shoulder. “How are you doing?” He was in uniform and on duty, and Bobby couldn’t help but feel a little envious.
“Getting better every day,” he said, hoping he sounded confident. “How about you? How are things?”
They made small talk and Nick caught him up on the pre
cinct gossip, mostly centering around unusual arrests and colorful suspects. It was conversation he normally loved to hear, but right now it just left him feeling…empty.
“So any word on when you’ll be back?” Nick asked. It was a completely normal and obvious question, and yet it had him tensing. Something he knew he needed to stop doing.
“I wish,” he said honestly. “My arm and shoulder are getting stronger, but they’re not one hundred percent yet.”
Nodding, Nick said, “Well, it was great to see you, but I have to run. Hopefully we’ll be seeing you back on duty soon. We all miss you.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” And then he was standing there alone. Rather than go into the store and risk having another panic attack in the middle of a public place, Bobby quickly got in his car and drove home.
Completely forgetting about getting anything to eat.
* * *
“Thank you so much for the help,” Anna said, placing a tray of cupcakes down on her dining room table. “I think it really does take a village to set up a children’s birthday party.”
Teagan laughed. She couldn’t really agree or disagree—back in Colorado they’d had fairly small birthday parties for Lucas, with only a few friends, so this was all brand-new territory for her. But considering how large the Shaughnessy family was, and how many kids they all had, it was no wonder it took so many people to set up.
Besides Teagan, Mary and Jack Hannigan were here helping Ian and Martha, and Quinn was outside hanging up streamers. Her own parents were on their way too. Hard to believe this much went into a child’s birthday party.
“I hope we have enough food,” Anna said distractedly.
“We’ve got about twenty pounds of hamburgers and hot dogs alone,” Jack Hannigan said as he walked through the dining room. “And that’s on top of all the chips, dip, fruit, salads, and cakes. If we don’t have enough food, something’s definitely wrong.”
Laughing, Teagan finished setting up all the paper goods for the dessert table and then asked where else she was needed. Lucas was running around outside with Kaitlyn and Brian, but it didn’t stop Teagan from walking over to the sliding glass doors and looking outside. There was a pool out there and her son wasn’t a great swimmer. There was a child-safety fence around it and Quinn was out there, along with most of the other adults, but she was still nervous he might get curious and get too close to the water.
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