“I hate to break it to you, Mom, but most people don’t have great love stories.”
“I disagree.”
“Of course you do,” she muttered.
“Don’t get snippy, Teagan Marie,” Catherine warned. “I met your father when I was twelve years old.”
Here we go.
“And he was sixteen. I had such a crush on him, but he was way too old for me. We were in the same youth group at church, and I used to spend way more time looking at him than I did looking at my Bible.”
“Mom, please—”
“When he graduated high school and announced to our group that he was enlisting in the army, I was heartbroken.” She sighed. “He came back four years later to speak at our church, and when he smiled at me, I knew he was the man I was going to marry.”
“Okay, then…”
“I learned pretty fast that I hated being a military wife.”
Wait, this was new.
“Oh, I can’t tell you how many nights I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep because I thought I’d made the biggest mistake of my life!”
Taking a sip of her wine, Teagan asked, “So what changed?”
“For a long time, nothing. I was miserable, we kept moving around, and each move took me farther and farther away from my family.” She sighed. “I never told you this, but…I filed for divorce.”
“What? How…? When…?”
“It was the worst month of my life. And I did it all while your father was deployed,” she said with a sad smile. “He came home and was so happy to be there, and I served him with divorce papers.”
“Oh my gosh!”
“Talk about bad timing.”
“So—what happened? How did he change your mind?”
“He let me go. He gave me space.” She took a bite of her dinner before continuing. “I moved back home with my parents. They were getting ready to celebrate their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and we were having a big party. Your father remembered me talking about the event, and at the time, how badly I wanted to go home to celebrate with them.” Dabbing at her eyes, Catherine went on. “He showed up at the party dressed in his service uniform.” She smiled. “He looked so handsome.”
Teagan couldn’t help but smile too. “And what did you do when he showed up?”
“I wanted to be mad, I really did, but he walked up to my parents and wished them both a happy anniversary, then he went over and greeted my grandparents.” Her smile grew. “Then he came over and asked me to dance.”
“Aww…”
“I had missed him so much, I couldn’t deny it. And he told me he wasn’t re-upping. When his term was up, he was leaving the army. It was everything I’d ever wanted. I immediately began planning our lives again. I went back with him to our place in Virginia—that’s where we were living at the time—and he began looking at civilian jobs. He still had another year in the service, but I knew I could handle one more year.”
“So what changed?”
Catherine waved her off. “He wasn’t happy, and I could see it. He was willing to make the sacrifice for me, but he had been climbing the ranks in the army—really making a name for himself. How could I take that away from him?”
“Yeah, but then you ended up being the one making the sacrifice,” Teagan stated. “How was that fair?”
“Turns out it wasn’t really a sacrifice. It was a lot about me being immature and acting a bit like a spoiled brat.”
“Somehow I doubt that, Mom. You’ve never been like that.”
“Trust me, I was back then. But I realized that a life with your father was better than a life without him. Even a military life.”
“That’s a wonderful story, and when I look at you and Dad, I can see how in love you are. But I don’t see how this relates to me and Logan.”
“Teagan, you would have resented Logan’s military career and he would have quit it for you.”
“And? I don’t see what’s wrong with that. It happens all the time. Not everyone who enlists stays in for life.”
“No, they don’t, but without you, Logan would have. That boy had military blood in his veins and every time you talked about him leaving, we could see it. We could see how conflicted he was. But he was an honorable man and he would have put your happiness first. That’s not a good foundation for any relationship, especially a marriage.”
“You’re wrong, Mom. Logan would have told me. He would have mentioned that he didn’t want to leave the army. You’re just…you just think you saw something because it’s what you lived,” Teagan argued.
“Sweetheart, ask your father. He and Logan used to talk. A lot.”
“I don’t know why we’re talking about this now,” she grumbled. “It’s all a moot point. We’ll never know if Logan and I would have lasted or if he would have stayed in the army. Why bring it up?”
“Because I’m watching you make the same mistake again. Only this time, I think you’re going to lose the great love of your life.”
Her eyes widened. “Sorry, what?”
Nodding, Catherine said, “Teagan, you’re my daughter and I love you, and I can say with great certainty that I have never seen you as happy as you were whenever you and Bobby were together.”
“Mom—”
“Hear me out.” She paused. “I know how disappointed you were with our lifestyle. Besides the moves, there was a lot of uncertainty. A lot of time where we were scared and at home praying for your dad’s safe return. And I remember being there when we got the call about Logan.”
Tears immediately stung Teagan’s eyes and she wanted to curse them. She was so tired of crying, so tired of reliving the pain and the loss. When was it ever going to end?
“I think because of that loss, you’re afraid. You had no control over so many aspects of your life that you’re overcompensating now and trying to control everything. To the exclusion of really having a life.”
“I have a life!” she cried. “I have an amazing son, I’m getting ready to start a new job, we just moved across the country… I’d say that’s living!”
“There’s a difference between living and having a life, Teagan. And for a little while there, you looked like you finally had both, and it made me so happy. It made me feel like it was okay for your father and I to step back a little.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve stayed close to you because we wanted to be there if you needed us. And when you met Bobby, it seemed like you were finally moving on and ready to, you know, need us a little less.”
“Wait—are you saying that I’m needy?”
“Oh, gracious, no!” Catherine said with a small laugh. “We felt like we should be there for you because…well, we felt partly responsible for you being where you were. If we had moved, if your father had left the army… I know we wouldn’t have Lucas right now, but you also never would have had to go through all that you did.”
The lump in her throat grew as she realized just how much her parents loved her. The fact that they somehow blamed themselves for her heartache was something she never would have considered.
“Maybe you don’t want to hear this but we really liked Bobby. He was good for you and good for Lucas. Seeing you happy was all we ever wanted.”
Tears fell in earnest now.
“I wish you’d let yourself be happy,” her mother whispered as she let Teagan cry.
“I feel bad saying this, but…I survived losing Logan. It was hard, but I survived.” She looked up at her mother in despair. “I wouldn’t survive losing Bobby. And that terrifies me to the point of paralyzing me.”
“But you’ve already lost him, sweetheart. Don’t you see that?”
She shook her head. “It’s not the same. I can detach myself. I can pretend what we had wasn’t real. That it wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to me.�
� Bowing her head, she cried. Her heart broke fully in two at her admission. “I can’t just stand there and wait for him to be taken from me. It’s too much to ask.”
Then she was done talking and so was Catherine. Instead, they clung to one another and cried.
* * *
“This is the worst idea ever,” Bobby murmured Tuesday morning as he stared into his cup of coffee.
“A little early to be talking to yourself, isn’t it?”
Looking up, Bobby saw Quinn standing next to the table. Quinn had called on Sunday and asked to meet for breakfast and—because he was a glutton for punishment—Bobby had agreed. Sitting down in the booth, Quinn flagged the waitress over and ordered his own cup of coffee.
“You look like hell, Hannigan,” he said when they were alone. “What gives?”
Bobby looked at him like he was crazy.
Rolling his eyes, Quinn said, “Look, I get it. Things didn’t really go your way. But the Bobby Hannigan I knew would never walk around looking like…well, like this.” The look on his face was pure disdain and yeah, Bobby deserved it. He hadn’t shaved in over a week and the clothes he had on were seriously wrinkled.
“Was there a point to this?” he asked with annoyance. “You asked me to meet with you, you wouldn’t tell me why, and I agreed. So? Just get to the point so I can go.”
Leaning back in his seat, Bobby stared at Quinn until he started to squirm.
“Do you remember when Anna and I started dating?”
“Quinn…” he said with exasperation.
The smug bastard just sat there and grinned until Bobby had no choice but to sit back and listen. “You were so certain I was going to break her heart. And for a time, I did.” He paused. “And when I hit rock bottom, when I’d lost everything and you could have just swooped in there to gloat, you didn’t.”
“And?”
“And I never thanked you for that.”
“That’s why we’re here at seven in the damn morning? So you could say thanks for something that happened years ago?”
He shrugged. “Do you remember the Fourth of July parade?” Quinn asked instead.
Bobby nodded.
“Teagan asked me to say something nice about you.”
Teagan had never told him the specifics of what the two of them had talked about, just that she had put Quinn in his place.
With a mirthless laugh, Bobby asked, “How long did it take you to think of something?”
“Not as long as you’d think.”
This was getting them nowhere and all Bobby wanted to do was go home and crawl back in bed. “Color me surprised,” he muttered, reaching for his coffee.
“Yeah, well, here’s the thing,” Quinn began. “You totally made a liar out of me and I can’t have that.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yup. I told Teagan you were one of the bravest people I know. You’ve totally proved me wrong, and now you need to fix that.”
It was way too early in the morning for this kind of conversation. Picking up his coffee, Bobby drank it all down, burning his throat a little in the process. He slammed his cup back down and waved the waitress over to order a second cup.
“You’re insane, dude, you know that, right?”
Quinn shrugged.
“What is it you want from me, Quinn? It’s early and I—”
“And you’ve got nothing else to do, so don’t even,” Quinn argued. “I just drove an hour to meet you when I could still be home with my family.”
“I drove an hour too, and need I remind you, this was your idea?”
He grinned. “Oh yeah. Right.” He sat silently for a minute. Leaning forward on the table, he went on. “Look, Teagan’s one of the strongest people I know, and right now, she’s a mess. And you? You’re one of the bravest people I know and you’re hiding from everyone and everything. None of this is good and it has to stop.”
“She asked for time, Quinn. This isn’t on me, it’s on her.”
“Don’t pass blame,” he said with disgust. “You’re better than that.”
“Stop, I’m blushing,” Bobby replied flatly.
“Yeah, yeah, make jokes. But I’m here to tell you that you need to man up and quit being a coward.”
Straightening in his spot, Bobby had to fight the urge to reach across the table and grab Quinn by the throat. “I am not a coward,” he snarled.
“Wouldn’t know it from where I’m sitting.”
“You have no idea,” Bobby argued. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with, so don’t you dare sit there and pass judgment on me.”
“Too late. I already am.”
“We’re done,” Bobby snapped, sliding out of the booth.
“Do you want to lose her?” Quinn demanded.
And just like that, Bobby stopped and sighed. “I already did,” he said solemnly. “She’s scared and there isn’t anything I can do about that. She knew what I did for a living when we met. And the thing is, I get it. I understand why she feels the way she does, and I would never pressure her to spend her life with me just because that’s what I want.”
Quinn stared at him hard for a long moment. “Do you love her?”
Swallowing, Bobby nodded. “She’s it for me. I know we weren’t together for very long, but every day we were? Those were the best days of my life.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes and Bobby slowly slid back into the booth. “Dude, you know me. I’m overly logical in my approach to life, and at times I’m one of the most cynical people on the planet. But the day I met her and Lucas, all I wanted to do was rescue them.”
“You didn’t even know them.”
“I know. I fell for the kid just as much as I fell for his mom.” He stared down at his hands. “So what does that tell you?”
“It tells me that you’re a moron for not fighting for her.”
Shaking his head, he said, “This isn’t something I can fight. Teagan needs to feel safe and secure. And as weird as it sounds, considering the police motto is to protect and serve, they’re not the same thing. She needs something I don’t know how to give.”
“How about by starting with not giving up? Damn, Bobby, she’s used to people leaving. Hell, she’s used to being the one forced to leave. Be the one who stays. Be the one person who shows her she means so much that you won’t go.”
It wasn’t quite so easy. He’d spent more than a week trying to figure out how to convince her to give them another chance, and was still coming up empty-handed. “I don’t know how to do that.”
Then his brother-in-law—the one who lived to annoy the shit out of him—was back. Sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest, Quinn grinned confidently. “Would you like to know how?”
For a minute, he couldn’t think of a snarky comeback. He was too stunned. “Aren’t you the same guy who’s been doing his best all summer to convince Teagan that she shouldn’t go out with me?”
“Yup.”
“Then why? Why are you doing this? Are you setting me up to do something stupid that will guarantee I’ll never have another chance with her?”
“As fun as that would be, no. That’s not what I’m doing.”
Could he possibly be telling the truth?
“Does Anna know you’re here?”
Quinn shook his head. “No one knows I’m here. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure you’d show up.”
“I contemplated staying in bed this morning.”
Resting his arms on the table, Quinn looked pleased. “Trust me, you’ll be glad you didn’t.” He paused. “Are you in?”
“I don’t know. I don’t see how you could possibly know how to fix things when no one else seems to.”
“Oh, everyone else knows as well. You just haven’t bothered to answer your calls or texts, so how would you know?”
/>
“What?” Bobby cried.
Quinn’s smile grew and Bobby couldn’t help but laugh and throw up his hands in defeat. “Fine. But I must really be desperate if I’m willing to take any advice from you.”
Chapter 10
“I think that’s everything,” Teagan said quietly, looking over her supply list one last time. School started in three days and she was already exhausted. At least her personal shopping and supply list was done, but her son’s was the one she was working on now. It was hard to believe a kindergartner needed this much stuff.
Tossing the bags in the trunk, she climbed into the car and sat down with a loud sigh. Her parents were babysitting Lucas so she could get everything done more efficiently, but she was definitely dragging now.
“Coffee. I need coffee.”
There wasn’t a drive-thru Starbucks in town, but what was one more stop when the reward was caffeine? It took ten minutes to get across town and find a place to park, but the thought of that first sip of vanilla latte spurred her on.
As usual, the line was long, so she pulled out her phone and checked her messages while she waited. When it was her turn, she smiled, ordered, paid, and was practically bouncing on her toes in anticipation. Two minutes later, her name was called. She thanked the barista, turned, and froze. Standing in the line was Bobby.
And his ex-partner, Bree.
Fabulous.
Just as Teagan was going to turn away and try to sneak by unnoticed, Bree called her name. Forcing a smile on her face, she faced them. “Oh, hey…”
Bobby didn’t say a word. His hands were stuck in his front pockets and all he did was offer a small smile and a nod.
Bastard.
“Great minds, huh?” Bree said, smiling.
In other circumstances, maybe Teagan would like this woman, but right now? Not so much. “I needed a shot of caffeine to finish back-to-school shopping,” she said, her face almost hurting from the fake smile.
“It seems to get earlier and earlier each year,” Bree said. “But I’m sure it’s a little exciting too. You’re starting a new position at the elementary school, right?”
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