Evenlight

by Krista Walsh

  The restaurant’s sign shone in neon up ahead, and Jeff forced a smile on his face. Brushing the snow out of his hair and stamping his boots on the welcome mat, he went inside to enjoy a perfectly cooked steak. One thing he could always be certain of in this world.

  Venn was the first to meet him in the entrance of the restaurant. Once she was out of the snow, he noticed her patting down the pockets of Cassie’s hand-me-down winter coat, playing with the zippers to make sure they were was still closed. In the time-honoured winter routine she had already picked up, she also did the boot-stomp and hair-shake to rid herself of the snow, but large white flakes still clung to her coat and melted on her cheeks.

  She looked older than her seventeen years, and far more mature than the first time Jeff met her, after she’d attacked him in the night and tried to cut his throat. The last time Cassie had gone to the salon to get her hair trimmed, she convinced Venn to go along with her. The young woman had been dubious, not seeing the point of paying money for something that ten minutes with a blade could achieve just as quickly, but in the end, she had allowed the stylist near her head with a pair of scissors. The woman had softened the shape of Venn’s short black hair, which made her cornflower blue eyes appear even larger, and the result was a deceivingly vulnerable look. Until she opened her mouth.

  “This weather sucks monkey balls,” she greeted.

  Jeff slung his arm around her shoulder. “I’m thrilled you’ve picked up so many of our more positive quirks since you’ve been here.”

  Venn snorted. “I’ve heard worse things come out of your mouth during a hockey game.”

  “No, you have not.” Jeff tightened the crook of his elbow around her neck. She laughed and twisted out his grip, pressing her boot down on his until his toes cried out and he let go.

  “I can’t take you two anywhere, can I?” Cassie asked, coming in from the storm. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, her nose red, and her eyes watery. Jeff’s heart skipped a beat at how lovely she looked, like a woman out of a novel he wished he could write. “I don’t suppose any of you thought to let them know we’re here.”

  Jeff smiled and gave her a kiss. “We only just got here ourselves. How did your appointment go?”

  Cassie smiled. “Looks like I’m ready to submit. The nightmare of grad school can finally be over!”

  The three of them let out a cheer as the hostess came to bring them to a booth in the corner, but Jeff had noticed the glance Cassie and Venn exchanged before Cassie answered his question. He didn’t like that glance. It suggested something going on they didn’t want him to know about. After the number of times he had seen his characters interact, he had learned nothing good ever came from such glances.

  But, trusting Cassie, he let the matter drop, assuming she would fill him in when she was ready. Until then, he would simply turn his thoughts even more determinedly towards the perfect steak he knew he could rely on.

  The server came to take their drink orders, and Jeff sensed an awkward silence as they waited for him to return.

  “Is everything all right?” he asked, giving up on his resolution to wait patiently.

  Again that shared look.

  Jeff regretted allowing himself to be shoved into the corner, with Cassie next to him and Venn across from him, feeling very closed in.

  His nerves turned wobbly as he waited for one of them to speak.

  Cassie smiled at him, but it seemed hesitant. Almost as nervous as he felt. “Everything’s fine. It’s just that Venn and I managed to have a chat before I headed over to the university.”

  This shouldn’t make me nervous. They’re roommates. They chat all the time.

  “We covered a few subjects,” Venn added.

  Oh god, it’s horrible, isn’t it? What the hell is going on?

  Before Venn could continue, the server returned with their drinks—beer for the adults and Pepsi for Venn, as much as she stared longingly at the ale—and left with their food orders.

  Jeff noticed Venn’s smirk, the amusement behind those sweet blue eyes, and saw that she, at least, enjoyed keeping him in suspense. She could probably sense every twinge of fear and doubt in his mind. She was good at that. Knew how to use a person’s mental state against him. Before she drove a dagger into his neck.

  Across the table, Jeff hoped he was at least safe from that sort of attack. He couldn’t think of anything he might have done recently to trigger another assassination attempt, but with Venn, one never knew.

  Jeff turned to Cassie, expecting she would be the one to break the horrible, terrifying news.

  “I told Venn I would be moving out,” said Cassie.

  Jeff continued to hold the breath he didn’t know he’d taken, waiting for her to drop the other foot. After a moment, when she said nothing else, he released it slowly.

  “That’s it?” he said.

  “Well,” Venn said, “you guys might have given me more of a heads up, but I can’t say I’m surprised.”

  Jeff laughed with relief and took a sip of his beer. “You guys had me worried that you’d nominated me to be the sacrifice in some kind of blood ritual or something. But no, this is good.”

  Cassie chuckled at his reaction, but still Jeff thought he picked up on a hint of hesitation. Across from him, Venn continued to smile in the sly way that suggested she still knew something more than he did.

  “You’re not upset?” he asked, wondering if maybe the “something more” was that she would kill him in his sleep for taking away her friend.

  But she replied, “Not at all,” in a way that sounded sincere. “I like living with Cassie. She’s awesome. I question her judgement because she’s still with you—” she stuck out her tongue, “—but she’s made living here bearable. That being said, she’s also rarely around, has really strange taste in music, and likes floral scents in the bathroom. I won’t miss that.”

  “I confess, I am a horrible roommate,” Cassie said with a smile, unoffended by Venn’s observations. “You may want to rethink your offer, Jeff. I do like floral scents in the bathroom. If you call brown sugar floral.”

  He grinned. “I think I can live with brown sugar flowers.”

  Their conversation was interrupted again by the server returning with their meals. The smell of steak and potatoes filled their booth and Jeff moaned in appreciation as he cut into the meat. Now that he knew their secret, and no one seemed about to die, he could relax and savour his first bite.

  They covered a few light topics while they ate: Jeff’s irritating neighbour Mr MacGregor, who had just purchased a new television with even clearer audio so Jeff could partake without having to spend money on cable; Cassie’s thesis; Venn’s frustration that her co-workers were such weak-willed morons.

  It was a refreshingly regular conversation, the first Jeff had had in ages. He found himself laughing, feeling like a regular guy, out to dinner with his girlfriend and cousin. Just as normal as anyone else in the restaurant.

  He took a swig of beer and leaned back in his seat, staring at his plate. Only the baked potato remained, mocking his full belly with all of its sour cream- and bacon bit-covered goodness.

  “What about you, Venn?” he asked. “Will you start looking for a new roommate?”

  As he said the words, he noticed another glance between the women. More secrets?

  Without acknowledging their hidden message, Venn shrugged. “Not yet, I don’t think. I’m not sure it would be a good idea. I wouldn’t be able to afford living on my own for long, but I’ll see what happens. As you guys prove, things change in a hurry.”

  Jeff kicked Venn’s leg under the table at her not-so-subtle jab at their relationship decisions, and she belted one back.

  “Children,” Cassie said in a tone that reminded Jeff startlingly of Maggie.

  “Fine,” said Venn, rolling her eyes. She shrugged again. “Anyway, I don’t think it’ll be an issue, the whole affording rent thing.”

  “Venn,” said Cassie, and Jeff was surpris
ed to still hear the note of warning in her voice, this time not for play.

  He raised an eyebrow. “What is going on? I know you guys are trying to keep something from me. As much as I care about you both, neither of you are the James Bond of secret keeping.”

  “Why bother waiting?” asked Venn. “It’s not like he’s going to take it any better now that his stomach is full. I told you we should have told him first. Less for him to throw up after.”

  As Jeff listened to her speak, he didn’t want to throw up. Nervous, yes; concerned, yes. But sick? Not at all. Apparently, the overexposure to disgusting, gory, terrifying sights over the last year had toughened him up.

  He set his utensils down on the sides of his plate and crossed his arms over the table.

  “So then tell me,” he said to Venn.

  Venn looked to Cassie. “You tell him. It was your idea.”

  Cassie frowned. “You said you’d support me on this.”

  “And I do, but I still think he’ll stab the person who tells him.”

  “I’ll stab you both if you don’t tell me something.” Jeff rested his hand on Cassie’s arm. “And I say that with all the love in the world.”

  Cassie hooked her fingers through his and took a deep breath. “We’re taking you back to Andvell.”

  Chapter Two

  Jeff heard the words as Cassie said them, but didn’t know what to make of them. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard her,” said Venn, allowing no time for confusion or misunderstanding.

  Cassie nodded. “Venn and I talked it out. We’re going to use the orb and go back into your book, track down the Sisters, and get your imagination back.”

  “No matter how much of a fight you put up,” Venn added. “Because I know that even at your best, I can beat you. So really it’s best you not try. Just go with it.”

  “But—” said Jeff, hoping to get in one word of argument.

  “It’s for your benefit,” Cassie interrupted, apparently ready to allow him one word but no more.

  He started again, but she covered his mouth with her hand, so nothing came out but a muffled garble.

  “I know you’re afraid of what the Sisters will take back, but we’ll deal with that if and when it comes to it. Venn and I care about you.”

  Venn snorted and then pressed her lips together as both Jeff and Cassie shot her a look.

  “We see that you’re suffering,” Cassie continued, “and it’s making us both miserable.”

  “And unlike you,” Venn cut in, “I don’t like being miserable. No matter how much I might feel for someone, I don’t see the point of sacrificing my happiness for his sake. Cassie, for reasons I don’t understand, seems to get where you’re coming from. I don’t. But she also agrees it’s been going on long enough. You’re clearly not getting better on your own, so if you’re not brave enough to step up and fix it, we will be.”

  Jeff and Cassie stared at her in wide-eyed silence for a moment, and then Cassie cleared her throat, dropping her hands back into her lap. “While I wouldn’t have put it quite so bluntly, that about sums it up.”

  “Well then,” said Jeff. He didn’t know what else to say. Nothing he wanted to say in the middle of a busy restaurant, anyway.

  “So you’ll do it?” asked Cassie.

  Jeff met her gaze and saw the concern and affection behind it. In spite of Venn’s threats to take him by force, he recognised that Cassie wanted him to go because she thought, deep down, he wanted to, because she saw it was the best option for him.

  He didn’t have the heart to tell her he didn’t agree.

  “Let’s get the bill first,” he said. “Then we can go back to my apartment and talk about it.”

  The tension around Cassie’s eyes and mouth relaxed, and she slid her hand into his. “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Sounds like this is a conversation I should stay out of,” said Venn. “How about you leave me the cash for the bill and you two go and do whatever the hell it is I don’t want to talk about, let alone picture.”

  Jeff gave Venn a look of skepticism. “You expect me to trust you with my credit card?”

  Venn rolled her eyes. “What do you think I’m going to do? Go on a massive cheesecake spree? Give me the damn card.”

  She extended her hand, and Jeff pulled out his wallet, slapping the plastic into her palm. “I better not see any charges on there for military weapons or vintage swords.”

  A gleam appeared in Venn’s eyes, and then was extinguished. “No, that’s fine. I can get better made stuff where we’re going anyway. Get out of here. I’ll meet you at the apartment in a bit.”

  Still holding onto Jeff’s hand, Cassie slid out of the booth, and Jeff followed.

  Outside, the snow continued to fall in thick layers, making it difficult to see anything more than a few feet ahead.

  Jeff’s addled thoughts swirled in his brain, and Cassie was gracious enough to leave him to them. Their boots crunched in the rising snow, the sound dulled in the closeness of the storm, and headlights reflected off the falling flakes. A perfect night for a walk along the pier to work off their dinner, and then home to warm up under the duvet.

  But now none of that would happen, because now he had decisions to make.

  I can still refuse, he thought. No matter what either of them says, they wouldn’t actually manhandle me into Andvell.

  He thought of Venn, and knew that wasn’t true. She would manhandle him, just to prove she could. And Cassie would look at him with those soft doe-eyes, full of those caring emotions, and he would feel too guilty to say no.

  But he didn’t want to go.

  He didn’t want to face what would happen if the Sisters made him give up Cassie in exchange for his creativity.

  He didn’t want to face what would happen if they turned him down.

  The second thought came out of nowhere, and he stumbled in the snow.

  “You okay?” Cassie asked.

  “Fine, thanks,” he said, not wanting to explain this new thought aloud. Would she think him selfish if the biggest fear holding him back wasn’t that he’d lose her, but that he wouldn’t get what he wanted?

  Cassie knows you better than that, a voice in the back of his mind scolded. Stop thinking like an idiot or you’ll find nothing but trouble. Again.

  Jeff knew that little voice was right. He’d had similar fears after the Sisters first took his creativity, worried Cassie would turn away from him for being too much in love with her. Her reaction when he did tell her proved he’d been a fool, and he refused to fall into the same trap again. No matter what lies the devil on his shoulder spouted in his ear.

  “I know you’re not happy with me right now,” Cassie said, finally breaking the silence as his apartment building came into view.

  “I’m not upset with you,” Jeff replied, meaning it. “I know you want what’s best for me. I just don’t think this happens to be it.”

  “You would be happy again. You’d have your imagination. Your words.”

  “Right now I have you.”

  The warmth in Cassie’s smile, small as it was, caught Jeff’s heart so that it might as well have been July and not December.

  “And it means the world to me to hear you say it,” she said, “but I know it’s not enough. We can’t live our lives for the sake of one person. I love you, but I also love my career, and the possibilities it holds for me. These days, you remind me of a caged animal. You’re being fed, you’re well taken care of, but you’re also stifled. Getting your imagination back will give you freedom. You need it. Otherwise, you’ll start to resent me.”

  “No.” Jeff squeezed her hand. “I’m well aware this is my decision and not yours. I would never hold that against you.”

  “You say that now,” she said. “But we’re going to move in together. You’re going to see me every day moving closer to what I want out of life. You’re going to watch me get a job, have good days and bad, but love what I’m doing. You’re going to see me get
my PhD, write papers for journals. You’ll watch all of this while you’re stuck taking some nine-to-five office job, which you’ll hate because you’ll know what you had, and what you lost, and what you would rather be doing with your life. Even if you don’t end up hating me for it, you won’t want to stay with me, either.”

  “Now who’s imagining the worst?”

  “Only because you’re not able to.”

  The words hurt like a physical blow, and Cassie tugged on his hand to bring him to a halt beside her. Jeff stared down at her, unable to say anything in reply. She reached up and rested her palm on his cheek. Her hands were cold, but her touch made him feel warm.

  “I’m only saying it because it’s true,” she said. “Because you’re not able to think of what might happen. You have so much talent, Jeff, and after everything you’ve seen, I can’t imagine what you’ll come up with once you can move onto something new. But it won’t happen if you don’t come with us and make it possible.”

  Jeff’s breath caught in his throat, the wind stinging his eyes. He blinked and took her other hand, resting his forehead against hers.

  “And what about you? What if the Sisters take you away? How could I live with that?”

  Cassie chuckled, letting go of his hands to link hers behind his neck. “We’ve been through worse, Jeff. We’ve always found each other in the end. No matter what games they play, we’ll do it again.”

  “You know how much I love you?”

  “Oh, yuck,” Venn’s voice piped up behind Jeff. He and Cassie jumped and turned towards her. “Horrible timing on my part. Should I come back?”

  “No, we’re done,” said Cassie, dropping her hands to clasp Jeff’s again. “But we love you, too.”

  “Gag,” said Venn. “So are we ready?”

  Cassie turned back to Jeff. “Are we?”

  Jeff swallowed hard. “What if this doesn’t work? If we go there and they won’t give us what we want?

  “Venn and I will be there to make sure they do,” said Cassie, her tone firm. “No matter what.”

  “But—”

  Venn let out a loud sigh. “More useless arguments? I already told you we’re doing this with or without your consent.”