The Staff and the Blade

by Elizabeth Hunter

Sari turned to Damien.

  “Is it true?” he said, his eyes hopeful.

  Sari nodded. “According to Tala, though I have not seen the signs yet.”

  Tears welled up, but he stood and walked around the table, folding her into his arms, tucking her face into his neck and gripping her hair with his fist.

  “Milá,” he murmured. “My child.”

  “Our child.”

  “Sari of Vestfold is carrying my child,” he whispered in her ear. “And she tells me this when I cannot thank her properly.”

  “You’re the one who pushed Tala about her vision.”

  She felt the tension take his body. His arms tightened around her before he raised his head and forced her eyes to his.

  “Damien?”

  “You’re moving to the retreat. Both of you. Today.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “DID you really think I would be rational about this?” He paced around their bedchamber. “Truly, Sari?”

  “Did you think I would meekly trot off to the village without a word?” she asked him. “Truly?”

  “I will not argue about this with you. In the end, I am your watcher as well as your mate.”

  Rage filled her eyes. “And if it was Abra who was with child? Your house healer? What then? Would she be packed off without a thought?”

  “I am thinking. And it is not Abra! It’s you.”

  “And I am your mate. Not your faithful soldier.”

  He rounded on her. “I know you’re not my faithful soldier, because if you were, you would do as I am commanding you!”

  “You do not command me,” she yelled. “We agreed—”

  “We agreed if you had a disagreement with one of my orders, you would speak to me in private, not storm out of the library in full view of my men, shouting that I was a dictator. Sari, I am your watcher. If you want to be treated as a warrior—”

  “I am a warrior.”

  “Then act like one.”

  “Accord me the same respect you would give your men.”

  He threw his hand toward the door. “This is not because you’re a woman. Didn’t Marcel leave for the village last year when his mate was with child?”

  “Because he asked to leave,” she said. “Not because you commanded him.”

  “I would have commanded him if he hadn’t asked. His mate needed to be protected.”

  They stood a foot apart, chests heaving. They both could explode when they were roused; this was hardly their first fight. Though Damien was usually the more even tempered, today it didn’t matter. The moment Sari had told him she was with child, he felt it. Fierce, wild joy. And heart-gripping fear. He couldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t. It would destroy him.

  “And you?” Angry tears were in her eyes. “Will you be coming to prison with me?”

  “It is not a prison,” he said. “And you know I cannot.”

  “It is a prison if I am forced to be there,” she said.

  He saw the light slipping from her eyes. The wild independence that had lured him from the beginning. It was like watching a falcon’s wings clipped in front of him.

  “Sari, please.” He wouldn’t relent. He couldn’t. But he hated seeing that wild light flee. “You knew this would happen. You knew it. We’ve talked about it before.”

  Her voice was wooden. “I know.”

  “Then why—”

  “Because now I know something is coming.” She crossed her arms and turned her back to him. “And whatever it is, I will not be there to protect you if I am in the village. You will be here and I will be there. And if something happens, we will not be together.”

  “Sari…” He put his arms around her and hugged her back into his chest. His hand slipped down to her belly where their child was growing. He knew it was just his imagination, but he could feel the spark of the babe’s soul. His and Sari’s child. It was a dream he’d almost given up. “I survived many years without you, my love.”

  “But you weren’t mine then,” she said. “You didn’t hold my heart in your hands, Damien. Now you do.”

  If there was anything he loved more than her spirit, it was the honesty of her emotions. Sari never held back. Happy or angry, he would know it. How often had he wished he could speak his feelings as easily as she did?

  “I will take care of your heart,” he said. “But I need you to take care of our child. And yourself. If you are here, I won’t be able to concentrate. I’ll only be thinking of you. The retreat is isolated from Grigori violence. Protected. You and Tala will be safe there.”

  He honed in on the mention of her sister. If there was anyone Sari was more protective of than even him, it was Tala. Did he feel guilty taking advantage of her protectiveness? Not if it kept her safe.

  “The Grigori know who she is, Sari. They have always targeted seers, and once they learn of her pregnancy, she will be even more at risk. The only reason Gabriel doesn’t go mad about her leaving the house and going into town now is because you always go with her. She needs to go to the retreat, and you need to go with her.”

  She finally clutched his hands, and Damien felt her soften. “I hate this. I hate the thought of being parted from you.”

  “A matter of months, milá. And then our child will be here. I will come to the village as often as I can. Farrin and Abra will be here. Gabriel and I can take turns visiting. We will not be parted for months. Only days, my love.”

  “It won’t be the same.”

  “I know. Who will challenge my every command and question my every decision when you are gone?” He pinched her waist.

  She sniffed. “You like it.”

  “I do.” He kissed her jaw. “You make me better. Sharper.”

  “What will you do without me?”

  Go slowly mad. Only the thought of their child calmed him. This was but a season of life, her grandmother would say. Damien had already decided he would request a sabbatical as other expecting fathers did. He did not want to miss a moment of his son or daughter’s life.

  “I’ll write to the Watchers’ Council tomorrow,” he said. “I want to be with you. Not in the city.”

  Her hands clutched his. “They won’t approve it.”

  “They’ll have to. I’m not the only watcher whose mate has become pregnant. It is expected for warriors to ask for leave to raise children. I’m not the only one.”

  “But you’re the only you.”

  Damien laughed. “I do love that your opinion of me is so elevated.”

  “It’s not elevated. It’s true.”

  He would admit the request would not be welcome, especially coming on the heels of the letter he knew Gabriel and Tala had sent that morning. For one house to lose both a seer and a watcher was not ideal. Damien wasn’t going to ignore his elders, but he would be with his mate, even if he had to call in political favors from his family to be released from command.

  “Sari, you do what you must to protect our child now,” he said. “And I’ll do what I must to protect both of you as soon as my request is granted. And it will be granted, if I have to ride to Vienna myself.”

  “Damien—”

  “Enough.” He held her tighter. “Enough fighting for now. We are having a child, Sari. A child. We’ve waited so long, reshon. Now is the time for joy.”

  ※

  He was writing the letter the next morning when Tala walked into his study.

  “Sister.” He rose and went to embrace her. “With all the fighting yesterday, I did not get the chance to congratulate you and Gabriel.”

  She smiled and hugged him back. “You didn’t expect her to run off without an argument, did you?”

  “No. I used you to convince her to go. Do you mind?”

  “It’s nothing I didn’t expect,” she said. “Gabriel and I have already sent a request to the singers’ council.”

  “I’m writing my letter to the elders now.”

  “Good.” She shivered and hugged her arms around herself. “I know something is coming. I can f
eel it. But we cannot stop living because a battle is on the horizon.”

  “A battle is always on the horizon.”

  “Exactly.”

  “You must promise me to send word if the vision starts again.”

  The disturbing vision of the empty house and Gabriel crying out had lessened in the past year and a half, but it hadn’t ceased. She still mentioned it. Mentioned any changes. Mentioned the things that stayed the same. She’d even tried to draw the house she saw in detail, convinced it was a real place and not merely symbolic. He had the sketch in his desk, though he’d never shown it to Gabriel. Tala had made him promise.

  “Sari says we leave tomorrow,” she said. “When will you come to visit?”

  “I told Gabriel to accompany you both to the village this time. I should be down next week. Farrin and Abra have been told, though they’ve promised not to breathe a word to the men.”

  “They’ll know she is with child as soon as Sari tells them she’s moving permanently to the retreat.”

  He grimaced. “Do me a favor, sister. Do not say the word ‘permanently’ in regard to the retreat.”

  Tala laughed. “You know what I mean. Only a child could tear her from a warrior’s life.”

  Damien paused. “Did she do it for me?”

  If she had, Tala would be honest. Kind, but honest.

  But Tala shook her head. “She wants a child as much as you do.”

  He took a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

  She gave him an impish grin. “All this doubt. Honestly, it’s as if you think I do not see the future.”

  “Tala,” he warned.

  “Stow your temper, Damien. I’ll have enough with just hers for the next few months.”

  “You’re nothing but trouble.”

  “That’s why I’m the little sister,” she said. “But you love me anyway.”

  Damien couldn’t stop the smile. He did. He would have loved Tala, if for no other reason than she made Sari so happy. But she was also a delight. Bright, cheerful, and funny. She was the calm balance to Sari’s fiery personality. Damien had never had a sister, but that didn’t matter to Tala. She’d loved him as an older brother from the start.

  “She’ll be sad,” Tala said. “But don’t worry. I’ll keep her from brooding.”

  “See that you do.”

  ※

  They left the next morning, surrounded by Farrin, Gabriel, and five of Damien’s fiercest men. Sari and he had taken their farewells in their room, unwilling to let the rest of the house see their bittersweet kisses. He was still their watcher. She was still their watcher’s mate. Though he felt as if his heart left in the carriage with her, Damien was unwilling to show how keenly he already felt her absence.

  He would see her soon. He knew that. It didn’t make the parting easier.

  “Watcher?”

  Damien turned to see Auguste, one of the new scribes recently returned from the Near East, holding a report sealed in gold wax.

  “A missive from Vienna?”

  The young scribe nodded. “It arrived early this morning, but I did not want to disturb you or your mate before she took her leave.”

  “Thank you, brother.”

  He took it and retreated to his study. He’d only written to the council requesting leave that morning. The letter had left with the same courier that must have brought this one, so he knew it couldn’t be a response to his or Tala’s petitions. He broke the seal, recognizing the figure of a rearing horse that was the symbol of Attila, an elder scribe and distant relative of his mother’s, who had always treated Damien as a nephew. He scanned the letter quickly before he began to read between the carefully composed lines.

  …series of attacks…

  …troubling trends in the east…

  …shifts in power among the Fallen…

  Damien felt his heart race. The beginning of the letter was a summary of recent findings from the council that warned European scribe houses about a power shift. The intelligence was based on rumors among the Fallen regarding happenings in the East. It matched many of the same patterns Gabriel had seen in their part of the world.

  The end of the letter was a personal note from Attila to Damien.

  “I cannot tell you what steps to take, Damjan. I can only tell you that the seers in Esztergom have seen visions of death and emptiness that match the reports you sent me from your own seer. The shift of Grigori into the cities of Western Europe has been matched to a lesser degree in Eastern Europe, and indeed in the East and Northern Africa as well. Inquiries to Southern Africa and the Far East have not yet been answered. The New World remains a mystery.

  Take care. Be watchful and ready. I do feel the change in Fallen power indicates a growing threat of some kind. Though your father and I have argued in the Library, we are seen as tired old warhorses starting at threats where there are none. Too many of the elders are convinced that our future is secure in the retreats and we have no need to worry. I do not agree.”

  Damien closed the letter after reading it no less than five times. He felt Sari and Tala’s absence keenly. He would have to wait five days for Gabriel to return. He was tempted to leave for the retreat himself but could not justify it when his mapmaker and weapons-master were away.

  Brooding accomplished nothing. He locked the letter away and went to join his men. Grigori attacks might have become rare, but he had no intention of letting his scribes become soft. If long life had taught him anything, it was that change was inevitable and that while luck was fleeting, fortune favored those who were vigilant.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  SARI closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. Damien was stretched out next to her, his long, graceful fingers trailing over the swollen skin of her belly. It was only a small bump, but he had not been able to keep his hands off it since he’d arrived on Sunday. Now it was Wednesday, and she knew he only had a few hours before he needed to return to the city.

  She smiled when she felt the tickle of his beard on her skin.

  “I know you’re awake,” he whispered.

  “I’m not.”

  “No?”

  “When I wake, you will need to say good-bye. So I am very sure I am still asleep.”

  He sighed and laid his head on her belly. “Milá. I wish I could stay forever.”

  “I hate being apart from you, Damien. Hate it.”

  “It will not be forever.”

  “Have you heard back from the council?”

  “No.”

  Of course he hadn’t. Sari knew they would not want to let him go and would use any excuse in the world to retain him. Whatever this growing darkness was that Tala and Gabriel predicted, she knew the council would use it.

  “Write them again,” she said.

  “I will.”

  Sari reached down and slid lazy fingers through the thick hair at his neck. “They cannot keep us apart. Our child needs you. I need you.”

  “And I need you.” He stretched under her petting. “I don’t sleep well without you. If I didn’t want to see you in my dreams, I wouldn’t sleep at all.”

  “And I sleep all the time.” She laughed. “You would not believe how I laze in bed most days.”

  He kissed her belly. “Your body is working hard.”

  “I’ve been feeling better lately. More energy.”

  “And Tala?”

  “Better. The visit from Gabriel last week was important. She has been sicker than me. Abra helps.”

  Indeed, the healer had become not just a trusted sister but a dear friend. Abra and Farrin had taken over guarding the village since Tala and Sari were in residence.

  While there were many scribes living in the retreat, the majority were boys in training at the library and older men who had not chosen a warrior’s life. Farmers and traders. Blacksmiths and millers. All scribes knew how to fight, but not all chose to keep their skills honed to a sharp edge. There were only two trained warriors in the retreat, who were there because their children were young
.

  “Have you felt the quickening?” Damien asked, his fingers still tracing her belly.

  “Not yet. Abra says in a month or a little longer I should expect to feel it.”

  He kissed the small bump again; his breath was warm on her skin.

  “When will you be back?” Sari asked.

  “Two weeks.”

  Her hand gripped his hair a little harder and he grunted. “So long?”

  “But I’ll be back for a full week. Gabriel is coming on Sunday, and he’ll be staying until Saturday. Then he’ll ride back and we’ll have a week in town together to coordinate before I’m down for the week. If we’re lucky, the scribes’ council will have responded to me by then with an answer.”

  “The baby will be born before they agree to release you from your post.”

  He slid up and kissed her very awake lips. “Such a cynic, my Sari.”

  “I’m a realist. They don’t want to let you go.”

  And Damien wouldn’t abandon them. The very thought of betraying the mighty Irin Council and the men under his command was anathema to her mate, a man raised on honor, duty, and sacrifice. His loyalty was inviolate.

  “They will have to let me go.” He shrugged. “After my daughter is born, they cannot keep me away. And they know I am needed for the birth.”

  She smiled. “It could be a son.”

  He shook his head. “Impossible. Heaven would not deny me. I have prayed for a stronghearted singer with eyes like her mother’s. I have petitioned Uriel and Ariel both. It must be a daughter.”

  “Or a son. With his father’s courage and great heart,” she said, brushing his long hair back over his shoulders. His talesm shone where she touched. “A son to fight at his father’s side and win this war. Perhaps I will petition Mikael for this.”

  “You will start a war in the heavens, my love.”

  She sighed. “It only seems fair, as we’ve had war on earth for so many years.”

  “Hush.” He put a finger over her lips. “Kiss me. And do not tempt fate.”

  “Come back to me, my Damien.”

  “As soon as I can.”