Immersed

by Jenetta Penner

  "No clue. It's not exactly as if I could ask anyone. But before Dad died he told me Direction shut them down after it looked like I died from the virus. But none of that matters. I want you to listen to me." Ben's voice grows serious. "Downplay your ability."

  "What?"

  Ben leans in closer to me. "You heard me. If your ability grows, you have no idea what it might be used for. There will be no way to control it."

  "Ben, you're overreacting. Ruiz is an honest person."

  "She might be, but you're not just dealing with Ruiz anymore. The more your secret gets out, the greater the danger. It's why I have a plan."

  I narrow my brow. "A plan? What are you talking about?"

  "You convince them the ability is fading. Since this is all new, they have no concept what they're searching for yet. Over a couple weeks, Waters will start to lose interest and move on. They might even relocate you off-grounds into the city. When they do, we have to leave."

  "Leave? I don't want to leave." My father is here, and he's going to require someone to help him adjust. Who knows where Aron is and what he might need. And Meyer … I can't abandon him. "Where would we go, anyway?"

  A huge flock of pale birds soar overhead in a V formation, breaking my attention from Ben.

  He clutches my arm. "There are plenty of places to disappear; towns all over the continent with people who don't want to be found. Being in Elore, or New Philadelphia, for that matter, we will never be free. It will always be about controlling our ability."

  "I ... I don't know Ben. This is a lot for me to absorb. My ability has given me a purpose. It's a way to help people. If I didn't have it, Manning might have released a new virus in the Outerbounds, including New Philadelphia. It could have had the potential to set the world back like Aves did. I get that it can be used for bad, but think of all the benefit it can make," I plead. "I want to do good things like Ruiz is doing. When she was forced out of Direction, she didn't run like Cynthia Fisher did. Ruiz stood up and formed Affinity. Fisher fell off the map and probably died."

  Ben's eyes soften. "I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive and don't want to argue with you, but you should be careful. The reason I made it this far is because I stopped trusting anyone."

  With his words, my heart sinks into my middle.

  "It's time you get back." Ben checks the Flexx-type device on his wrist. "I have some positive news for you."

  My ears perk up and the weight in my stomach lifts. "What?"

  "I'm supposed to escort you to see Michael … your father. Ruiz made arrangements for him and Waters agreed to it as long as he stays under watch."

  Michael. I have no idea what he's been going through over the last few days. He's lost everything. His job, existence ... his spouse. The thought smarts. Since Mother's death in the tunnel, I've pushed most thoughts of her away each time they pop up.

  "Do you know if they got my mother's body out?"

  The words stumble out unbidden. Ben averts his eyes from mine. "No, but there's a memorial service scheduled for Friday."

  His statement punches me in the gut. Well, at least I'm allowed that. Mother and I never experienced the relationship I longed for, but I know now that she did love me, enough to give her life for me. The fact she had to be crushed and dying before she felt free to say it. ...

  I had no choice but to leave her in that tunnel, beneath the rubble, all alone…

  I suck in air.

  Get out of my head.

  All the tension on Ben's face from earlier disappears, replaced with compassion. He lightly pats me on the back. A wave of comfort fills me.

  "I'm sorry for trying to pressure you. I've been thinking about this for a month. All I ask is that you consider what I've said."

  "I will."

  "Let me take you to your father," Ben says.

  ~ ~ ~

  Ben acknowledges the guard standing outside the gray door and activates the guest chime. From inside, I can hear footsteps shuffle toward the door. It slides back, revealing Father, his appearance nearly as bad as when I'd "rescued" him from the Representatives building. His green shirt hangs half-untucked and rumpled. The sight of his sunken eyes drops a brick into my stomach.

  "Father! Are you ill?"

  Without a thought, I approach him for at least some sort of connection—a hug, a pat on the shoulder, any human contact—but instead, the space between us feels awkward. Viscous. Not surprisingly, he makes no advance for me. Embarrassment rushes over my face. Father doesn't understand the value of emotions yet, and no doubt he blames me for Mother's death.

  "Avlyn," he mumbles, looking from me. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

  Father gestures into the tiny, sparse apartment, not unlike those in Elore. For a beat, I don't move, but eventually push myself to step in past Father. I twist to Ben, expecting him to come, but he doesn't follow.

  "I'm assigned to stay on guard, so I'll leave you two alone," he says.

  I lock onto his hazel eyes. It's as if I'm staring at myself. "Thanks."

  With that, he nods and turns, assuming a guard's position on the opposite side of the officer stationed at Father's door. The door slides shut, leaving Father and I to ourselves in his chilly unit. I rub my hands over my arms and decide to keep my jacket on. Father drags himself to a tan sofa and plops onto the left side. On the side table sits a tray of dried chicken and rice and two glasses of half-drunk liquid.

  "How are you doing?" I ask, lightly sitting not far from him. It's a stupid question, but nothing better comes.

  Instead of answering, Father unexpectedly leans forward on his knees and lets out a sob.

  My back stiffens, and I stifle the urge to bolt. This is all wrong. I'm in an upside-down world. If there'd been a prize for cool detachment back in Elore, my father would have had no competition. This man taught me breathing exercises to get through even a tinge of an unpleasant feeling. He can't be crying, much less heaving and sobbing like a Level One child.

  Risking rejection—or seeking it to put the world right again?—I scoot closer, draping my arm over his shuddering shoulders. When he leans in instead of away, it requires all my strength to keep put. It's what I've always desired, but not like this. Mother's face materializes in my mind, bruised and bloody, and her final words remind me there is beauty left in the world and I should share it with others.

  So, I breathe, just like he taught me, until, finally, he breathes too.

  "They keep trying to administer calming MedTech, but I won't take it," he mumbles.

  I move in to look him in the eyes. Father always avoided MedTech, even in Elore. He intended to prove he could handle the stresses of Elore on his own. That he was strong.

  "Maybe you need it."

  He grips the device tighter in his right hand. "I don't want her memory marred in any way … even the end." With the statement, he throws his head into his left hand again. "Everything is so confusing."

  "Father, I've been confused for years."

  He glances up at me and sighs. "I know. I apologize for the role I played."

  I study his brown face. This is not a person I know.

  "Father, what happened when Direction arrested you and Mother?"

  He shakes his head. "It's not information you require. I will say it's when I started to figure out your importance. Your mother knew first, even weeks before. She noticed something different in you, but I didn't want to hear it. Yet, you came for us in the Representative's building, even though you didn't have to, and you healed Mother after she was shot. Somehow you reactivated her nanobots, but Manning had disabled it during our ... interrogation."

  "You saw that?"

  "I saw her wound, and without her nanos, she lost too much blood. She was not going to make it. But, when you touched her, it healed. At the time, I dismissed it as me being delirious, but that was incorrect."

  "Yes," I say. "It was."

  And I have a brother who has the same ability, but Father doesn't need to know that. Not now.

&n
bsp; "I still don't understand it," I say.

  "Well, from the little you've shown me … it's amazing. And very dangerous. If the wrong people know about it—"

  I whip toward him. "Why does everyone keep saying that? My ability was dangerous in Elore, but we're out of there now. They strive for different things here in New Philadelphia. I can use my ability for good. You can have a new life. A free life."

  Father furrows his brow and gives me a confused expression. "Yes, I suppose you're right." He pulls a Flexx from Elore from his wrist and unfolds it into a thin tablet. Mother's ID image appears on the screen. Father props the device on the side table and gazes at it. As his fingers trail away, they graze Mother's cheek, lingering on her lips.

  In his own way, he loved her.

  "What will you do?" From the looks of him, I'm afraid he'll banish himself in this unit with Mother's photo and never come out.

  "I can't do anything. I haven't seen outside this unit since we arrived. They've kept me locked in here."

  "What—?"

  The door chime sounds.

  "Can you get that?" he asks.

  I stand and look at the monitor to check who's there. Meyer. His handsome, angular face is angled to the ground, and he's wearing a navy-blue striped shirt and charcoal-gray pants, hands shoved in their pockets. He shifts his weight nervously from one foot to the other, and his muscular chest rises and falls as if letting out a lengthy, slow breath.

  As fast as I can, I activate the door. My instinct is to hug Meyer, but it feels somehow unacceptable in front of Father, so I resist.

  "Hi." Nervousness wells in my belly and suddenly I have no place to put my hands since there are no pockets in my loose pants.

  "Hello," he replies, locking onto me with his dark eyes.

  I break the stare and peek into the hall. Ben's disappeared, but the other guardian for Father remains standing to the side. Panic settles in my stomach.

  "Where'd my guard go?"

  Meyer gives me an inquisitive expression. "I told him I'd handle it from here. For some reason, he didn't want to leave."

  I glance once more toward the exit, but Ben's nowhere to be found.

  "I relieved him. I have seniority," Meyer explains.

  I relax. It will be fine. Ben and I will see each other again. "Are you here for me or Father?" I ask.

  "For you, but Ruiz ordered me to accompany you back here later instead of to the testing facility. If you want to, that is."

  I turn to Father, slumped on the couch, gazing at Mother's sterile, unsmiling Direction ID, the one picture he has. Everything else in his world is gone but me.

  "Yeah, that would be best." For the first time in my life, Father might actually need me. I bring my attention back to Meyer. "What are we doing now?"

  "Ruiz has called a meeting. Phase one of the testing is complete, and she's ready for phase two."

  My eyebrows lift. "Phase two? When was phase one?"

  Meyer shrugs. "That's something you'll have to speak with Ruiz about."

  Disappointed he won't say more, I nod and turn to Father. "Um … I have an appointment. But Meyer says I'm allowed to return when I'm done."

  Father looks up from staring at the handheld, his eyes flat. "Yes. I've nowhere to go."

  Grief grabs and rattles me. This was a man who always seemed so strong. I know he's in shock now, but maybe his strength was a facade his entire life?

  I twist toward Meyer and motion for us to go. Meeting with Ruiz will be a perfect chance for me to ask some questions and find out Aron's location.

  Chapter

  Three

  Outside, we amble through a courtyard garden, passing a woman eating a green apple on a wooden bench. Instead of a handheld, she grasps one of those books, like the one in my holding room. I squint to read the title, but she has it angled and I can't make it out. Back in Elore, everyone always had someplace to be and, if you didn't, it was best to stay inside your unit, out of sight from prying eyes. They were definitely not out reading books on benches. Here, people make a habit of milling. Above, a tiny brown bird swoops across the clear sky and dives from sight.

  "Why are there more birds here?" I ask as I pause to examine a large red flower on a bush.

  "They're near Elore, too, but Direction keeps most of them out of the city," Meyer says.

  My nose wrinkles as I frown. "Why?"

  "To reinforce the belief of sickness in the Outerbounds. Direction has made such a big deal of the Aves virus for so long that if everyone knew the bird population recovered years ago, they might put it together that outside Elore isn't so bad after all. The electro perimeter sends a deterrent into the sky. So no one knows they're there."

  I shake my head. I knew they were liars, but if Direction refuses to tell the truth about a topic as small as birds…

  Is everything in Elore a lie?

  Feeling lost, I encircle Meyer with my arms as if we'd done it a thousand times before, even though we haven't. Without hesitation, his hands flow over my shoulder blades, sending a melting warmth throughout my body. Ben's idea of running away is bad. I don't want to be anywhere but here.

  Meyer's fingers gently rake through my hair, and I pull back, gazing at his face. His eyes are tender, and he uses his thumb to dry a stray tear I didn't even know had trickled down my cheek. He leans into the same spot and kisses it. My body tenses, then relaxes at the warm sensation of his lips.

  "I'm so sorry about everything," he whispers as he tugs me close to his chest again. "I know this must be difficult for you."

  "Thank you." I drag my hands over the thick, dark hair at the nape of his neck. My heart pounds in time with his. Not quite knowing what I'm doing, I rise up on my toes and guide his face toward mine. Not missing a beat, he grasps me tightly around my lower back. My lips brush his and electricity shoots through my middle. His warm, soft lips press into mine. Meyer inches in closer, snaking his hands into my hair until the vibration of his Flexx throws us into reality.

  He steps back and rubs at the flush climbing his neck. "Well … that was unexpected."

  I suck in a breath. My entire self shudders, despite the lingering heat running through it. "Yeah. You should check your message."

  Meyer retrieves the buzzing handheld from his pocket and swipes the screen. "It's Ruiz. A reminder of your appointment in thirty minutes." He casts his eyes from the Flexx to me and the corners of his tempting mouth quirk into a shy smile.

  I raise my eyebrows and reach for his elbow. "So, we have thirty minutes?"

  Meyer breaks into a hard laugh, pocketing his handheld, and I move back, a hot sting zipping in my chest.

  He glances down at me and lightly catches my arm. "Oh … no. That kiss was amazing. I simply didn't expect it. Not here, in the open. You've spent your whole existence concealing your emotions … I didn't think you'd adjust to that part so quickly, and I never expected anything."

  The last three days roll through my mind: Mother's death, Kyra's betrayal, learning Ben's alive, leaving my life behind … Meyer's been one of the few constants throughout the experience.

  "I don't have the option of resisting change these days. I might as well learn to be in charge of my feelings."

  His lips form into a wide smile, sending sparks up my back. "I won't argue. That said …" He leans in and plants a soft, chaste kiss on my lips. "So much of me wants to say yes, but the rest knows you're adjusting and might not have a clear head. I'm also not sure Ruiz wants us getting involved. In fact, I know she doesn't. As your handler, it's strictly forbidden."

  "Are you still my handler?"

  Meyer tips his head as if to ask me to be quiet.

  The sensation of the kiss lingers, but he's right. The tingling stops and the task at hand commandeers my attention. I cross my arms over my chest and nod toward the path we walked before we paused. Meyer pushes back the cuff of his jacket, revealing his antique watch and confirms the time.

  "So, your guard? He's the same one you talked to on our
way from Elore."

  My stomach flips with the idea of telling Meyer who Ben is to me, but I can't without talking to Ben.

  "Yeah, funny how that happened, right? Back in Elore, I thought I knew him."

  "But you didn't?"

  "Of course not. How could I? Must have been my mind playing a trick on me from the stress."

  The crisp wind whips up. Goose bumps form on my arms either from the cold or the lie. Probably both.

  ~ ~ ~

  Inside the sparse conference room, a bay of windows overlooks the courtyard Meyer brought me across. Seeing the spot in the garden where I kissed him awakens two sets of butterflies in my belly. The first because I kissed him, the second because anyone standing in this room—maybe even Ruiz herself—would have seen the whole event.

  "Well, there you are."

  The familiar voice from behind makes me jump. I turn from the window and find Adriana Ruiz standing in the open doorway. The woman is in her mid-sixties, but still lean and muscular. Her tight gray curls hug her scalp. The purple bags under her eyes coupled with a pinched mouth reveals the stressful state she must be in, despite her cheerful words.

  "Here I am." I shrug and search for an interesting spot on the floor to stare at in an attempt to hide the flush creeping up my cheeks.

  She walks to me, hand extended. When I take it and look at her, she grips it hard and brings her second hand up to my arm, giving my hand a vigorous shake.

  "I apologize for being unable to visit after we landed." She frees my hand. "I had strict orders. Until you had clearance, no one could see you. Not even me."

  "Don't you give the orders?"

  Ruiz sighs and tenses. "Not here, Avlyn. I have a decent amount of authority, but New Philadelphia is not my territory."

  I stand there, not knowing what to say, as Ben's warning returns. I have to trust Ruiz with my secrets. What choice do I have?

  President Waters, however, is a complete unknown.

  Ruiz's shoulders relax. "Before you even ask, please know we didn't keep you quarantined out of something malicious," she says, as if she read my thoughts. "Tests needed to be performed right away to, first of all, ensure Manning hadn't tagged or done anything else to track you in any way other than the Flexx you got rid of. Preliminary tests were then administered to supplement what we already know about your ability to immerse. Waters believes you will be invaluable to New Philadelphia."