Bitter Thorns (The Entwined Book 1)

by Chrissy Jaye

  In that moment, I knew if he had kissed me, I would have kissed him back. Probably would have regretted it after, but I was finding it harder to ignore the facts around me. My body responded to him. It responded to all of them. And I was in huge trouble because of it.

  My brain didn’t start working again until we reached the living room. Liam and Kieran sat side by side, just staring off into space. Flynn had his forehead pressed into Ben’s shoulder who absently ran his fingers through Flynn’s hair. All of them looked as though they were taking comfort in each other, which isn’t what I expected. Somehow, I’d pictured them still in some sort of standoff. It made me feel a bit better to see that despite their frustration with each other and me, it wasn’t enough to keep them apart.

  It took them a few minutes to notice us and only because Ben cleared his throat and nodded toward me. Flynn stood immediately and went to head toward me, but Liam blocked him and whispered something in his ear. He glanced at me, checking me from head to toe before he sat back down.

  “Well, I’m happy to report that Liv is not suicidal,” Lucien announced, as if it was something to rejoice about. It was highly embarrassing.

  I sent him a dark look before moving further into the room and perching on the end of the couch. “Before…whatever this is about to be takes place, I’d like to call my brother and let him know I’m okay.”

  “Where’s your phone?” Kieran asked.

  “Umm…” I looked around me, trying to remember where I’d left it with a wince.

  “Did you lose it in the woods?” Flynn asked.

  I winced again, remembering that last time I’d seen it was just before our walk.

  “I’m going to go get you some food,” Lucien whispered in my ear. I smiled at him and mouthed thank you before he left.

  “Use mine,” Ben said, getting up from his seat. He sat down next to me and pulled me down into his lap, which was very unlike him. Out of everyone, he didn’t typically touch me, except for on the hand. He pushed his phone into my grasp and pulled me against him before burying his nose in my hair.

  My nose scrunched up as I texted Vian. “Are you sniffing me?” I asked absently.

  Ben: Hey, it’s Livvy. I’m good. ILY.

  “Yes,” Ben replied simply. “I was worried about you. A lot has happened in the last couple of days and …”

  I turned slightly so I could look him in the eye. The action brought us nose to nose and my heartbeat quickened when I saw the unguarded look in his eye. What was it with these guys? Why did they have to be so sweet? Didn’t they know how confusing it might be for me to have all this attention centered around me?

  “Don’t worry about me,” I said softly. “I may look small, but I’m a big girl.”

  He closed his eyes and nodded. “I can’t stop thinking about what almost happened to you last night. We’re your family and you…”

  “Hush,” I said quickly. The magnitude of what he felt reflected back on me, and it was too much for me to consider. I swallowed and leaned my forehead against his. “It didn’t happen,” I breathed, surprising even myself. The whole attack could have been so much worse than it was. I wouldn’t dispute anyone’s claim that it was traumatic, but when I thought about what could have been, I shuddered.

  “Can I stay with you tonight?” he asked quietly, backing away so he could look me in the eye again.

  He was so sweet. I nodded quickly before I could change my mind. Just then, Luc came back into the room with a bowl in his hand. He smiled down at Ben and I before throwing himself into the seat next to us and drawing my legs up into his lap. It was then that I realized everyone had been quietly watching Ben and me. I didn’t know how much they overheard. None of it, I hoped, but knowing me, my luck wasn’t that good. As I covertly checked in on them, I was relieved to see that none of them were upset.

  Glancing down, I looked at the bowl in my hand and sighed. Lucien had given me a large portion of alfredo pasta. I glared at him. He smirked back and I begrudgingly took a bite. The taste of garlic lit up my tongue and I greedily spent the next five minutes devouring the entire bowl. Someone flipped on the television where some sitcom played. It helped to break up the uncomfortable silence in the room. When I was done, I went to get up and go wash my bowl, but Flynn jumped up and took it from me.

  “I can wash my own bowl,” I called after him.

  “He feels bad,” Kieran grunted. “Let him atone.” He grabbed the remote and muted the television. My lips pursed as the sound of running water started. I eyed Kieran, unhappy with how rigid he sat.

  “I don’t want him to atone,” I said quietly. And I really didn’t. I was upset with him, yes, but I seemed to be the only one who realized what I’d put him through. I thought back, remembering my disheveled visage just before I showered, before I let Kieran heal the scrapes. If I had found any of them looking like that, I didn’t know what I would do but it wouldn’t have been pretty. Hadn’t I manhandled Brooke and Ben when they put themselves in danger over that hex? I completely understood Flynn’s reaction and his need to show me his anger.

  Liam sat back with a sigh and stared at me thoughtfully. “He shouldn’t have hit you,” he said tiredly.

  “He—”

  “We should wait for him,” Kieran said, cutting me off.

  We didn’t have long to wait as the water shut off followed by Flynn entering the room a few seconds later. Instead of going back to his seat, he sat down on the floor right in front of Ben and I, leaning against the couch before he laid his head back and stared up at me. I didn’t see the guy I spent the day with. The one who had lashed out every second, glaring his way through our practice. Or the guy who felt so entitled that he could take me over his knee and spank me like a petulant child. Right then, I saw a man who deeply regretted his actions. The guy who held my hand through hours of medical tests when everyone else found better things to do. The one who less than twenty-four hours ago had pressed his lips to mine on a whim. Who I ran from because I was too busy caring about how I felt and couldn’t be bothered to think about anyone else.

  “I’m sorry I ran. That’s what I was going to say earlier.”

  “I know,” he whispered. He licked his lips and glanced away. “I—”

  “No. I don’t want an apology,” I said, cutting him off. “Just please don’t ever do that again. I understand why you were angry. How badly I scared you. Everyone,” I tacked on. “It could have been so much worse than it was. I realize that. I’m… not good with… people. Life actually.” I let out a small laugh. “But I’m trying.”

  “Since we’re airing things out, I’d just like to say I think we’ve been going about this all wrong,” Kieran said, leaning forward to eye everyone individually. “She deserves to know everything.”

  “Everything?” I asked, confused. Part of me internally crumbled. What other secrets did they have that I didn’t know? I was starting to see that I needed them to trust me just as much as I was trying to trust them.

  “The council,” Kieran amended. “When we brought you home, we told you it was safe here. We promised a family and a place to belong. And at the time, we thought that we could give all of that. But the truth is, we’re about to have a shit-storm on our hands.”

  “Ooooookay,” I said, dragging out the word. “Wait, does this have to do with my energy or whatever?”

  “In part,” Liam said. “It’s… we have our problems as a community. Bigotry, ignorance, that sort of thing. But we didn’t realize how bad it was until we got a chance to talk with Ameris. She said the council is pushing to formally meet you. Because of your parents.”

  “What about my parents?” I asked guardedly. I didn’t think I was ready to discuss this subject yet. I’d conveniently locked away the information about them having been a part of this community in light of other recent developments.

  “They used to live here,” Flynn said softly. “Our parents were friends. But they left when your mother was pregnant with you and Vian. Both
were spares with no Circle which was unusual to begin with, but it wasn’t uncommon for people without a Circle to rely on each other.”

  “You’re getting ahead,” Kieran cut in. “She’s going to get confused if you don’t explain about the other thing first.”

  Flynn sighed and nodded before continuing. “What Payton said is true, in part. The council isn’t kind to people who don’t have a twin. The ones who are born without a twin are usually stronger, vastly stronger. They’re labeled as the Vanished since it’s believed they absorb their twin in the womb.” Flynn shuddered, closing his eyes. “They also tend to disappear once they hit their majority at fourteen. Some of them come back, but they never talk about where they went.”

  “Then there are the spares, like Emma, who have to submit to monthly testing. She would be gone for days at a time. When we asked where she went, she said she couldn’t tell us. We started to suspect things weren’t right with her when she jumped at the chance to monitor you. She begged her parents to make it happen, even though she swore it wasn’t to get away from us. The only plus was that it put her with you.” He looked up at me with a small smile.

  “We wanted to extract you right away, but the council refused to let it happen. The witches were an excuse. We could have gotten you with the snap of our fingers,” Liam explained. “It didn’t make much sense, but we compromised as long as Emma was allowed to go. She pushed for it so hard.”

  “So, how does this tie in with my parents or me?” I asked.

  “Ameris believes you’re one of the Vanished. That your mother was expecting triplets. They’re considered rare and usually get labeled as quads. Whichever child is strongest becomes Vanished,” Ben said. “There’s no proof of that though. I’ve searched through every record available.”

  “If there’s no proof, then why do they think that I absorbed at least one or two of my supposed siblings?” I asked, still confused.

  “Because of how strong you are. Every channel you have is blown wide open. You may be a precog, but with your chakras, you can do anything, and I do mean anything. If they get proof that you’re Vanished, they’ll demand we hand you over, no matter if you’re part of a circle or not,” Ben explained patiently.

  “Not to mention all the history,” Liam said sourly. Flynn’s head popped up and stared at him, shaking his head minutely. I reached out and twined my fingers in his dark hair and gently coaxed his head back.

  “What history?” I asked. “It doesn’t help us if I’m in the dark.”

  Flynn gritted his teeth. “About Vanished going insane. They lose their minds. Go hungry with power. Almost every single one has upset the balance in one way or another. So now the council steps in before that can happen.”

  I sat back, stunned. It was so much information to think over. My parents. The council. I’d already suspected the last part, about how powerful Entwined go insane. They’d mentioned it before. I also remembered the promise I made to myself. I would leave before I hurt these people with my problems. They were already going above and beyond what anyone else had ever done for me and I would be damned if I hurt them.

  “We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want to worry you,” Kieran said finally. His warm gaze met mine, and I fought a small smile that wanted to form on my lips. “No one wanted to add to the stress you’re already going through.” He stood up suddenly, his expression growing dark, and gripped his hair in frustration. “It keeps coming at you from all sides and we’re all so…”

  “No, I understand,” I said, wanting to reassure him. I hadn’t seen him like this since that first night. Kieran seemed like the cool and collected guy ninety-nine percent of the time, but he had his limits like everyone else. “We’ll figure it out. Thank you for telling me.”

  Chapter 24

  No one seemed to want to sleep, despite how long of a day it had been.

  “What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Lucien asked.

  I rolled my head, which had been set against Ben’s shoulder. Instead of thinking, I’d been trying to work out why twins smelled similar. Ben smelled distinctly of lavender which reminded me of Brooke, but there was something else underneath it, woodsy and sharp. It made me wonder what I smelled like. I don’t think I could handle it if I smelled like Old Spice.

  “What do I smell like?”

  “Uhh…” Lucien eyes cut around the room.

  “Why is this important?” Flynn asked lazily, still on the floor at Ben’s feet.

  “Never mind, it’s not important.” I had lost my nerve. What if they said I smelled terrible? I might actually die.

  “Apples,” Ben mumbled. “And cinnamon, like Vian.”

  “Oh,” My shoulders relaxed slightly. “That’s not so bad. Like apple pie or oatmeal. Thank God. I can’t stand his scent. It’s so weird…I swear he bathes in whatever cologne he wears.”

  Kieran burst out laughing. Like full on, doubled over, laughter. After a few seconds, the rest of them started laughing.

  “What?” I exclaimed, completely baffled. “Why is that funny?”

  Ben’s head came down on my shoulder as he fought his laughter. “That’s… Okay so, twins of the opposite sex don’t smell appealing to each other. Brooke and I can’t stand each other’s smell either, but it’s also oddly comforting, right?”

  “Are you for real?” I said, sitting up fully. “That’s…huh. Okay, I guess that makes sense. Wait, does he know this?”

  “He does,” Flynn crowed. “Remember when he came back that first Christmas complaining about how he couldn’t get her scent off his stuff? He bleached everything. Twice!”

  “Is there any other stupid twin Entwined shit I should know?”

  “Well…” Ben said evasively.

  “Spit it out,” I demanded.

  “Jesus, woman, he’ll bore us to sleep covering all of that right now,” Flynn laughed.

  I smacked lightly at his shoulder. “I happen to like learning. Especially when it’s Ben.” My mouth slammed shut. I hadn’t meant to say that last part. Truth time? His voice just did something for me. When I’d first met Liam, his voice had sounded sexy, but it was nothing like Ben’s. Don’t get me wrong, Liam still had a voice that sometimes sent a shiver down my spine, but Ben was like listening to a gentle waterfall.

  “Alright there, Princess?” Flynn asked jokingly. I blushed furiously and turned away from the knowing look in his eyes.

  Lucien leaned forward, grabbing my attention. “I have an idea. I know you said you’re not mad at him, but now would be the perfect time to do that thing we discussed.” His eyes alighted with mischief.

  I grinned back wickedly at him. “You know, that is a perfect idea. But not here. I think we should be responsible and try to get some sleep so let’s go to bed. What do you guys think? Up for turning in with a movie?”

  Liam and Kieran nodded, exchanging glances.

  “Lucien,” Flynn said cautiously. “What have you done?”

  “Oh nothing, Brother. Nothing at all. Just, you know, helping Livvy here get into the swing of things. Assimilation and all that,” Luc quipped. “Come on, let’s go make some popcorn. We’ll meet up in Ben’s room since Liv has already agreed to spend the night there.”

  “Who said that? We could easily sleep in my room,” I offered, hopefully.

  “Yeah but you don’t have a TV yet,” Kieran said, climbing to his feet. “I’ll meet you up there.”

  Luc pulled Flynn to his feet and they set off for the kitchen. I waited until I was sure they were out of earshot before leaning into Ben and whispering the movie into his ear. He almost choked on his own laughter when I told him. “You are evil, Liv. He’s going to hate that.”

  “So, you approve?” I asked impishly.

  “It’s almost too easy, you know,” he mused.

  “I don’t want to know,” Liam said before heading upstairs after Kieran. “I know nothing about this. But I’ll see how it plays out.”

  Twenty minutes later, I stood
gaping from the doorway. After changing into my own pajamas, I followed the noise of the guys only to find them rushing around Ben’s room, trying to clean it as fast as possible. It didn’t matter though. No amount of speed would have made it much better. There were clothes literally everywhere. Whether they were dirty or clean, I had no idea. Just that I couldn’t tell what color his floor was.

  I cleared my throat when Flynn went to open the closet, making him jump. It was a bad move because the door swung open and junk came spilling out to pool around his legs. Everyone paused and followed Flynn’s gaze, which was locked on me in my long tee-shirt. I had shorts on underneath, but the tee went almost to my knees.

  “The sheets are clean,” Liam rushed to say. “I literally just changed them.”

  “This is hopeless,” Ben breathed, staring around him in panic.

  “It’s fine,” I said. “I’ve lived in worse than this. If the bed’s clean and it doesn’t smell, I’m good.” I picked my way across the floor, careful not to touch anything I was uncertain of. “Though, in the future, we should make sure someone cleans up in here. I’m sure Ben just gets distracted.”

  “I usually do it,” Lucien replied with a smile. “We’ve been a bit busy and he tends to just throw things on the floor whether they’re clean or not.”

  I chuckled as I climbed up on the bed. “It’s really okay. Like I said, this isn’t that bad. It’s not like I’ve never seen clothing before,” I said, pointing to my shirt.

  “Well, I’m not going to argue,” Liam said cheerfully. “Let’s get the movie started. Who knows when we’ll ever get a night like this together again?”

  I turned my head, looking at him with curiosity. “What are you—”

  “Make room for me,” Lucien jumped between us on the bed. “Start the movie, Ben!” I got the impression he was trying to hide something from me, but I couldn’t figure out what is was and decided it was not the time to push the issue.