His Secret Starlight Baby

by Michelle Major

  “I want to make it on my own.”

  “But child support is a thing, right?” He shook his head. “It feels like we’re going at this all backward. I want to support you and Ben.”

  “You don’t owe me anything,” she reminded him.

  “I do,” he countered. He wanted to say more. He wanted to disagree and tell her he owed her for bringing him back to life. For making him see that there was so much more happiness available to him if he just was brave enough to reach out and take it.

  “Cory, I—”

  “I should let you get going.” She crossed her arms over her chest when a breeze kicked up.

  “How are things going at Main Street Perk?”

  “Good.” She drew in a breath. “Everyone is really nice.”

  “Madison is distraught without you. She blames me.”

  That earned a half smile. “She knows it was my decision. She just likes giving you grief.”

  “Good to know. I guess I’ll talk to you later, then.”

  “I’m a call away if you need me.” She bit down on her lower lip. “If Ben needs anything.”

  An important distinction, Jordan supposed, because it felt like he needed her more than he needed his next breath. But he didn’t know how to say that and not risk having his heart crushed into a million pieces, so he just nodded, got in his truck and drove away.

  The panic set in seconds later. Panic at the realization that he was responsible for Ben for the next twenty-four hours. Without hesitating, he picked up his phone and hit the number to call his mom.

  She answered on the first ring.

  “I messed up bad,” he told her and then proceeded to explain the entire situation from the beginning. Cory’s arrival in Starlight. His idea for the pretend relationship at the funeral and how that led to an extended ruse when Kathy announced her plans for a visit. His feelings for Cory were real, even if their relationship had started out fake.

  His mother listened to his entire story, then immediately lectured him on making a call while behind the wheel and the dangers of distracted driving. For some reason, that small bit of maternal scolding relaxed him more than he would have imagined.

  “Okay, I’m home,” he told her as he pulled into the garage. “Will you tell me how to fix things now?” He cradled the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he got Ben out of the car and headed into the house.

  “Do you love her?” his mother asked like it was the easiest question in the world to answer.

  And suddenly it was. “Yes,” he told her. “I love her so much it hurts.”

  “Have you told her?”

  “Oh, hell no.”

  “No cursing, young man. And do you see the problem with that?”

  “Not one bit. What if she doesn’t feel the same? She told me she was done pretending, Mom. Those exact words. How can I tell her and risk freaking her out? And what if I freak her out so much that she doesn’t want to let me be part of Ben’s life?”

  “Wow,” his mom murmured with a soft laugh. “Those are a lot of potential issues.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I never took my son for a coward.”

  He paused, held the phone in front of him, unsure he’d heard her right. “How does being cautious suddenly translate into being a coward?”

  “I don’t know your Cory well,” his mother answered, “but she didn’t strike me as the kind of woman who would keep you from having a relationship with your son. Do you really believe that?”

  “No,” he admitted. “She would never use Ben that way.”

  “Good. And did it ever occur to you she might be having the same worries as you?”

  “She’s the one who walked away.”

  “Did you give her another option?”

  “Yes. I told her...” Jordan broke off and thought about what he had and hadn’t told Cory over the past few weeks. “She knows how I feel.”

  “Because she’s a mind reader or because she has such a great track record with men in her life doing the right thing?”

  “I’m not like Kade or her dad or any other guy who’s treated her like she doesn’t matter,” Jordan insisted.

  “Then show her,” his mom urged. “Tell her. I saw the two of you together, Jordan. There’s something special there. Now you both just have to be willing to go after it. You’ve always pursued what you want, son. Don’t let this be any different.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” He placed Ben on a blanket and sank down next to him on the carpet. “I appreciate the advice. I should go now.”

  “Maybe you could plan a weekend to drive over to Spokane?” His mom’s confident tone had suddenly gone tentative.

  “That would be great.” Jordan blew out a rush of air. Never would he have imagined himself in the position to want his mother to be a part of his life, but it felt strangely right now. It felt real and right.

  * * *

  “Don’t cry.”

  Cory met Madison’s steely gaze and nodded. “I’m holding it together.”

  “I swear, I won’t let you in my kitchen again if you cry.”

  Cory and Tessa had arrived at Madison’s near downtown Starlight twenty minutes earlier. The house was a charming Craftsman style, with glowing fir floors, lots of built-ins and a brick fireplace in the living room. The kitchen was small but had beautiful butcher-block counters and stainless appliances. Madison’s home felt welcoming and cozy, and it was like getting a peek inside the secret soul of the hard-nosed chef.

  They hadn’t had a club meeting scheduled, but Tessa took one look at Cory’s face after Jordan and Ben drove away and called an emergency session.

  They were making enchiladas because Madison deemed them the ultimate comfort food.

  “She’s not going to cry,” Ella said and wrapped an arm around Cory’s shoulder before glancing at her. “Oh, she’s totally going to cry.”

  “Think about something happy,” Tessa advised.

  “All of my happy thoughts involve Ben,” Cory said, and then her voice broke. Her throat and eyes burned with the effort of holding back the ears.

  “Think about cute puppies and kittens,” Tessa advised with a cheery smile. “That always helps me feel better.”

  “But don’t think about those humane-society commercials with the abused animals,” Madison added as she whisked the cheese sauce heating over a gas burner on the stove. “Those are a total downer.”

  Cory let out a laugh that quickly turned into a strangled sob. “You give the worst pep talks in the history of the world.”

  The other woman shrugged. “Pep talks aren’t in my wheelhouse. But these enchiladas are going to blow your mind.”

  “Shouldn’t we be helping?” Tessa asked and then plucked a chip from the bowl on the counter and dunked it into Madison’s homemade salsa. “I thought the point of this was for us to learn.”

  “We’re learning by osmosis,” Ella said and then took a long pull on her beer. “Besides, I’m not sure there are any men out there even worth learning to cook for. That just supports the patriarchy.”

  “Jordan appreciated when I tried to make dinner,” Cory said with another sniff. “Even though I wasn’t good at it. He did plenty of the cooking and always brought me coffee in the morning. He was perfect.”

  “Jordan Schaeffer is not perfect,” Madison said, then bobbed her eyebrows. “Okay, physically he’s perfect, but he has faults.”

  Ella squeezed Cory’s shoulders. “Top of the list is that he let you walk away.”

  “Exactly,” Madison agreed.

  To Cory’s surprise, Tessa shook her head. “Not so fast. I’m not sure I agree that’s a fault. Maybe it’s because my mom was a big Sting fan, but I think his sage words of ‘if you love someone, set them free’ ring true in this case.” She threw up her hands when Cory, Ella and Madison just sta
red at her. “Come on—you know what I’m talking about. ‘Free, free, set them free,’” she sang in a ferociously off-key soprano.

  “Sting is great for an old guy,” Madison agreed.

  “Also still hot,” Tessa added, tipping her wineglass to drain it.

  “Kind of gross, but okay.” Madison poured the sauce over the rolled enchiladas and popped the baking dish into the oven. “But Jordan should have fought for our girl.”

  Tessa wrinkled her nose, clearly disagreeing. “Maybe he thought she wanted him to let her go, and that he was doing the right thing by her.”

  “Whose side are you on?” Cory asked, feeling miserable.

  Tessa frowned. “Yours. Whose side are you on, Cory?” She stepped around the counter and squared her shoulders. “Because I’ve heard you crying in your bedroom the past few nights when you should be asleep. I’ve listened to you talk about happiness and making a good life for Ben, but isn’t part of that having the cojones to go after what you want?”

  “I have cojones,” Cory muttered.

  “You love Jordan.”

  Cory drew in a breath, wanting to deny it. As reserved as Tessa could be, she’d picked an interesting time to grow a backbone. “I do.”

  “But you won’t tell him.”

  “I don’t want to give him a chance to hurt me.”

  “Give the man more credit,” Tessa insisted.

  “She has a point,” Ella said. “Plus, if a man made me coffee every morning, I’d never let him go.”

  “That’s the problem,” Cory told them. “I don’t want to let him go. Ever. I see a future with Jordan. The kind of future I desperately want. I didn’t even know I could want something so badly, that I could love a person other than Ben so much. It scares me, because love makes me weak.”

  “That’s a fact,” Ella said.

  “Amen, sister,” Madison added.

  “No.” Tessa shook her head. “The right kind of love makes you strong. It makes you brave enough to take on anything, because you know you’ll have a soft place to land at the end of the day. Just because all of you have been hurt before, that doesn’t make love bad. It means you have to make better choices the next time around.”

  “I choose Ben and Jerry,” Ella said.

  “And Henry Cavill in that show where he’s got the long hair and leather pants,” Madison said with a sigh. “I don’t need any other man.”

  Tessa gave Madison a pointed look. The chef turned to Cory. “I agree Jordan is a good guy. And he obviously cares about you and Ben. I mean, you could do worse.”

  “High praise,” Ella said with a laugh.

  “I told him I don’t want a pretend relationship,” Cory argued. “I can’t go crawling back to him now.”

  “Your feelings aren’t pretend, honey.” Ella’s smile was gentle. “Neither are his. That changes everything.”

  “Love changes everything.” Tessa nodded.

  Cory’s nerves buzzed with the idea that she could actually go after a second chance—or possibly a third chance—with Jordan. She realized she wanted everything Tessa was talking about, and she wanted it with Jordan.

  Now the question was how to make it happen.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jordan had planned to talk to Cory when she came to pick up Ben the previous night. He’d had flowers and sweets at the house all ready to go as olive branches or tokens of his affection or...well, he hoped the gifts could communicate what Jordan hadn’t figured out a way to say.

  He didn’t even know her favorite flower, but he’d figured he’d go with the classic staples of roses and a box of chocolates for wooing a woman. In truth, he had no clue how to woo a woman. He’d never cared enough to try.

  Cory was worth wooing. She meant everything to him, and he desperately wanted a chance to prove it.

  But now it was Saturday morning and the flowers sat wilting on the counter, much like his self-confidence. When she’d come by last night, she’d been tense and stressed about her booth at the Dennison Mill market. He’d also seen a sense of determination in her. It was clear that Cory was different from the uncertain woman she’d been when she arrived in Starlight. She was coming into herself, and he didn’t want to take a chance on derailing or distracting her from the life she was building in town.

  He wanted her to be happy more than he wanted her for himself.

  If it wasn’t so pathetic, he’d laugh at his skill at rationalizing his cowardice. He was afraid to give her a chance to reject him outright. His mother would have counseled him that it was worth the risk. Madison and Tanya would probably have told him to pull up his big-boy boxers and stop acting like a wuss.

  Cory had texted him late last night, asking if he would pick up Ben from Tessa’s house that morning because she had to set up early. He’d agreed but now regretted not saying more.

  So many regrets. Jordan hated regrets.

  He grabbed his phone from the counter and sent a message wishing her luck and then asked if she would have dinner with him after the market. Baby steps were better than nothing, right? He waited with his breath held as the three little dots flashed on the screen while she typed her reply.

  Yes on dinner. Thank you for the luck. I’ll need it.

  That was a start, he thought, trying not to be disappointed she hadn’t messaged him more. It felt ridiculous that he wasn’t with her to offer support in person. His mom’s words about going after what he wanted echoed through his mind. Jordan wanted a chance at a real future with Cory and Ben.

  His phone dinged and he checked it, the message sending a jolt of emotion through his body.

  She’d sent him a red heart emoji.

  And suddenly that one colorful shape changed everything inside Jordan. He’d been a fool and a coward, just like his mom had gently admonished. He was so busy trying to protect himself from being hurt, he hadn’t realized he was only hurting himself.

  He hurriedly typed in his reply.

  You’re going to do amazing today. You are amazing, Cory. I can’t wait to see you shine.

  He went to hit Send, then added his own heart emoji. God, he felt like a lovesick schoolboy.

  As he drove to Tessa’s, he came up with and rejected nearly a dozen plans for how to show Cory what she meant to him. What he needed was a night to binge-watch all the rom-com movies ever made for inspiration.

  He could borrow an old-school boom box from someone in town. There might even be one in the bar’s storage room.

  No, that was stupid.

  What about serenading her? Only problem was Jordan couldn’t carry a tune to save his life.

  Maybe he’d borrow the classic “you complete me” line. She did, as far as he was concerned, but he didn’t want to recycle someone else’s moment for his.

  He’d worked himself into quite the emotional frenzy by the time Tessa answered the door.

  “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, taking a step back like he was a feral animal. She held Ben a little closer. “Your eyes aren’t right.”

  “What’s wrong is that I miss Cory like I’ve lost a piece of my heart. I’m going to fix things with her,” he vowed, his voice sounding panicked even to his own ears. “I have to fix it.”

  Ben turned at the sound of his daddy’s voice and gave an excited squeal. At least the baby wasn’t wary of him this morning. Jordan didn’t hesitate in reaching for his son, and his heart slowed a bit in its frantic thudding when Ben cuddled against his shoulder. “I need help,” he said to Cory’s friend.

  The pretty redhead nodded. “You don’t ask for help easily.”

  “I never ask anyone for help,” he clarified. “But my usual way isn’t working. I’m kind of desperate here.”

  One corner of her mouth curved. “You love her.”

  “More than I ever could have imagined. She’s everything to me.�
��

  Tessa’s grin widened. “Did you consider telling her that? It’s pretty convincing.”

  He shrugged and looked out to the wild expanse of forest surrounding the cabin. “What if it’s not enough?” he asked, then added, “What if I’m not enough? If I can do something huge and flashy to convince her...”

  “Jordan, stop.” Tessa placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Do you understand how much time she’s put into getting ready for today’s market?”

  He glanced back at her. “A lot.”

  “A whole lot. And it made her happy. Being with you and Ben as a family made her happy. If Cory wanted flashy, she’d be on a beach in Fiji with that tool ex of hers. I can’t guarantee what she’ll say if you tell her how you feel, but I think the risk of truly showing her your heart will be worth it in the end. I can tell you have a good heart, Jordan.”

  He blew out an unsteady breath. “Emotional risk isn’t exactly something I excel at, you know?”

  “I can appreciate that.” She winked. “It also wouldn’t hurt to ask Madison to whip up a batch of fried cheese. Cory’s kind of a goner when it comes to cheese. It’s the little things.”

  “The little things,” he repeated as an idea dawned on him. “Thank you, Tessa.” He leaned in for a quick hug. “You eat and drink on the house at Trophy Room for all of eternity if this works out.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and then she gave a ladylike fist pump. “I like the sound of that.”

  As Jordan walked to his truck, his mind whirled with everything he needed to do before he headed toward the market. Today he was going to show Cory how much she meant to him in a way that he hoped would mean as much to her.

  * * *

  Cory surveyed the empty table in front of her with a happy heart. The Dennison Mill Maker’s Market had been a huge success. Crowds of shoppers had browsed the booths situated around the large courtyard, and Cory had catered to a constant stream of customers. She’d sold every piece of jewelry she brought with her and had orders from almost two dozen women for additional items.

  The weather had been perfect, sunny and warm with the scent of spring in the air. She wasn’t sure if the beautiful day had brought so many people to the shopping and dining area or if Brynn was truly some kind of small-town marketing genius.