All My Loving: A Butler, Vermont Novel

by Marie Force

  “Not at all. It sounds delightful.”

  “It is. Do you know what the secret to a happy life really is?”

  “Please tell me.”

  “It’s all about simple pleasures. Love, friendship, satisfying work, faith, a sense of community and a desire to be part of something bigger than yourself. People run all around looking for fulfillment, often missing the simple things that’re right under their noses.”

  “You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that.”

  “Have you been running around, then?”

  Amanda nodded. “Yes, I have.”

  “And not finding the fulfillment.”

  “Not until I came here and found a much simpler kind of life.”

  “Is it working for you?”

  “It is.”

  “Simple doesn’t have to be boring. Simple can be very exciting. Just ask my Hunter about how exciting his life is now that he’s married to the woman he loves. The boy positively sparkles, he’s so happy.”

  “I’ve spent time with them. I’ve seen that.”

  Mildred nodded. “I knew for a long time that he had his heart set on her, and I hoped and prayed she’d finally look his way.”

  “He’s helping me learn to play the piano.”

  “Oh, he’s a wonderful piano player! You couldn’t have a better teacher.”

  “That’s what everyone says.”

  “I’ve prattled on and on. Tell me about you and whether it’s true you might be sweet on our Landon.”

  Amanda smiled and put down her pen. “It’s true.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful. Those two boys are just the most delightful young men. I have a real soft spot for them. Landon brings me a Christmas tree every year, sets it up and puts the lights on for me.”

  Amanda was ridiculously charmed by that. “Does he?”

  “That he does, and he stays until it’s decorated to my satisfaction. I look forward to it every year.”

  She couldn’t believe that the story brought tears to her eyes, but then, everything did lately. “That’s so incredibly sweet.”

  “It is indeed, and if you want to know who he is, who he really is, that ought to tell you everything you need to know.”

  “It does. For sure. But I already knew he was special.”

  “Always has been. I’ve taken particular pride in being one of the few people who can tell those two rascals apart. They’ve made it their mission in life to try to fool me, but I’m not having it.”

  “I love that.”

  “I love them. They’re good boys, like their brothers and their father and grandfather. The best people you’d ever want to know.”

  “I’ve seen that for myself. I love their family.”

  “Do you have a lot of family of your own?”

  “A brother and sister who’re much older and my mom. I… I also have a daughter, Stella, who’s twelve.”

  “That’s a lovely name.”

  “I find myself wanting to spill my entire life story to you.”

  “Oh, I wish you would. I love hearing about people and their lives.”

  Amanda told her the story about Stella, Kelly, the request they’d made of Amanda and how excited she was to welcome her daughter into her life, even if her heart was breaking for her and Kelly. “It’s such a strange place to be in. Elated in the midst of someone else’s tragedy.”

  “You’re not elated that her mother is dying, sweetheart. You’re elated that you get to have Stella in your life. Those are two very separate things.”

  “I hate what they’re going through.”

  “Of course you do.”

  “It’s become clear to me, since the fire at the inn, that I suppressed all the emotions associated with Stella and stuffed them deep inside where they couldn’t hurt me every day.”

  “I can’t say I blame you. Whatever it takes to survive something like that.”

  Amanda nodded, feeling as if she’d known Mildred for years rather than an hour. “The fire shook me up. It made it impossible for me to keep everything buried anymore. Poor Landon has been such a saint, letting me weep all over him for days after the fire.”

  “A few tears wouldn’t put a man like Landon off. He’s made of tougher stuff than that.”

  “I’ve seen that for sure. He’s been the most amazing friend to me.”

  “That’s such a wonderful place for two people to start. My Herman was my very best friend long before we ever became a couple. He was my best friend for the rest of his life. I still talk to him as if he’s here, and it always makes me feel better to tell him what’s in my heart. How does Landon feel about your daughter coming into your life?”

  “He can’t wait to meet her.”

  Mildred smiled. “That sounds like him.”

  While Amanda took more notes, Mildred shared funny stories about people who’d worked for the store and some of the customers who’d come through their door.

  Much later, Amanda glanced at the clock on Mildred’s stove, stunned to see the time. “We talked for so long!”

  “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

  “This was wonderful. I’m so glad we got to meet, and I can’t wait to write about you for the catalog. Did Lucy call about the photo? Isabella Coleman is going to take it this week.”

  “She did, and I’m looking forward to seeing my Izzie.”

  “Great. Thank you again for your time and your stories and the wisdom.”

  Mildred got up to walk Amanda out. “It was my pleasure. I hope you’ll come by any time you need wisdom. As Elmer likes to say, that’s one thing we’ve got plenty of.”

  Amanda hugged her at the door. “I’ll be back for more very soon.”

  “I’ll be here. Any time. I wish you all the best with your sweet Stella. And I hope things work out for you and Landon. I like you for him.”

  “You couldn’t pay me a higher compliment.” Fred might not yet be certain about her, but it was nice to know that Mildred was. “Could I ask a favor? Could you give me directions to the Christmas tree farm?”

  “Of course.”

  A few minutes later, Amanda was on her way out of town, her mind racing as she thought about Mildred and how she would tell her story for the catalog. Mildred had given her so much to think about—and not just for the story. What she said about making a happy life in a small town like Butler had really resonated with Amanda. Everything she needed was truly right there in Butler, which had begun to feel like home to her in a way that nowhere else ever had.

  She took a couple of wrong turns but eventually found the tree farm and parked next to Landon’s black pickup truck. No one was around, but the doors to the barn were open, and in the distance, she heard the faint sound of a machine. She decided to take a short walk to see if she could find him. Under bright sunlight, fields of trees dotted the landscape for as far as she could see. They were various sizes and shapes, and the fragrant scent of evergreen filled the air, making her think of Christmas in June.

  Mindful of her recovering ankle, Amanda stayed on the well-worn paths that wound through the farm. About half a mile from the barn, she spotted Landon on a massive mowing machine and made her way toward him. She’d almost reached him when he finally noticed her coming, his face lighting up with a warm, welcoming smile.

  He wore a faded blue T-shirt, jeans, work boots, noise-canceling headphones and a ball cap on backward. Work clothes had never looked sexier. He cut the engine to the tractor. “This is a nice surprise.”

  “I wanted to see this place I’ve heard so much about.”

  “And?”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “I don’t know about that, but it’s a living.” He held out his hand to her. “Want to go for a ride?”

  She stepped forward to take his hand. “On that thing?”

  “Yep.”

  “Sure. How do we do this?”

  He helped her onto his lap and put his arms around her. “Ready?”

  “As re
ady as I’ll ever be.”

  “Put these on,” he said, handing her the headphones.

  When she had them in place over her ears, he started the engine. Amanda felt the vibration through her entire body. The big machine lurched forward, but Landon tightened his grip on her as he drove them through rows of trees that seemed to go on for miles.

  Sitting back against him, she was filled with peace.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;

  if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms

  of one hundred years, teach the people.”

  —Confucius

  Amanda took in the vast landscape of the farm, realizing what a big job it must be to take care of so many trees. After about twenty minutes, they reached the far end of the property, a scenic overlook with a breathtaking view of Butler below. Landon turned off the engine and removed the headphones.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “It’s so much bigger than I thought it would be.”

  “That’s what she said.”

  Amanda elbowed him in the ribs, making him gasp with laughter. “I’m serious. This place is huge.”

  “Trust me, I know. I cut grass and shear trees in my dreams.”

  “I had no idea there was so much work involved in growing Christmas trees.”

  “Most people have no clue, but I like it. There’s a rhythm to it. Every season brings new obligations to the trees, and after all these years, I’ve got the routine down pretty well.”

  “It’s impressive.”

  He laughed. “I’m sure it’s been your lifelong dream to date a Christmas tree farmer.”

  “Maybe not, but I’ve always had a thing for hot firefighters with hidden talents.”

  He nuzzled her neck and held on tighter to her. “I have a lot of hidden talents that you haven’t seen yet.”

  “That sounds intriguing, but I don’t want to interrupt your work.”

  “Please interrupt my work. I’m so bored.”

  “I thought Max was working with you today.”

  “He was here this morning, but he had a doctor’s appointment with Caden this afternoon.”

  “Is the baby okay?”

  “He’s fine, just some well-baby thing. Whatever that is.”

  “That’s when they check to make sure he’s growing and thriving. And he probably has to have some shots.”

  “Poor guy.”

  “And poor Max.”

  “He’s seemed really down lately. I’ve been worried about him.”

  “How so?”

  “Just kind of quiet and withdrawn, which isn’t like him.”

  “He has a lot on his plate for someone so young. I look at him and see what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t given Stella up for adoption.”

  “He’s quite a bit older than you were when you had her.”

  “Still, it’s like a bomb going off in your life. I know you all think he’s handling it well, but maybe he isn’t.”

  “I keep meaning to talk to Colton to see if he’s noticed it, too.”

  “That’s a good idea. From what I’m told, the first year with a baby can be grueling. Even with all the support Max has, it’s got to be hard on him. It’s not like he expected to be doing this alone.”

  “Yeah, it was a shock to all of us when Chloe decided to surrender her rights. Max never had much to say about that, but it had to have been an even bigger shock to him.”

  “Had they been together long?”

  “Not long at all, which was part of the problem. Anyway, enough about my brother. What brings you to visit my farm today?”

  “I had a little time, and since you’re working tonight, I was hoping to spend a few minutes with you.”

  “I’m glad you did. Have you ever made out on a tractor?”

  Amanda smiled. “I can’t say that I have.”

  “You want to give it a whirl?”

  “How would that work exactly?”

  “Stand up, and I’ll show you.”

  Amanda stood, and with his hands on her hips, he turned her to face him, bringing her down on his lap to straddle him. “Oh, well…”

  Landon guided her arms around his neck and pulled her in tight against him. “Just like this.”

  “Why do I feel like maybe you’ve done this before?”

  Smiling, he shook his head and kissed her. “This is a first. Everything about you is a first.”

  Amanda wanted to hear more about that, but with his lips moving softly over hers, she didn’t get the chance to ask. She was too busy enjoying being with him, kissing him, holding him.

  The more of him she had, the more she wanted. “I met Mildred today.”

  “Did you? She’s a nice lady.”

  “She told me how you bring her a Christmas tree every year.”

  “I do that for quite a few of the seniors in town.”

  “It’s very sweet of you.”

  He shrugged off the comment. “It’s no big deal.”

  “It is to them.”

  “It’s just what we do for each other around here.”

  “I like it here.”

  “I’m glad you do. That means you might be sticking around, huh?”

  “That’s exactly what it means. In fact, I landed myself a job today.”

  “Did you now? Is it with a company I might’ve heard of?”

  “Actually, it is.”

  “Did my dad offer you the warehouse job?”

  “Even better. He asked me to head up the catalog going forward. Cameron and Lucy are going to have their hands full with the website and the e-commerce that’ll come from the catalog. He needs somebody to oversee the development of future catalogs. I accepted the job without hesitation. And you’re the first person I wanted to tell.”

  “Congratulations. That sounds perfect for you.”

  “I’m excited. I like this opportunity even better than the warehouse job. And do you know what this means?”

  “What?”

  “I have to find a place to live in Butler. I have to buy sheets. I have to buy pots and pans. I have to buy towels.”

  “You’re in luck. I have all that stuff at my place.”

  “That’s true, and I do love being there. However, there’s no room for Stella there.”

  “Then we’ll find something else together.”

  He said that so casually, as if that sentence didn’t change everything. “Is that what you want?”

  “I want to be where you are. So, yes, that’s what I want.”

  “It’s probably too soon for us to be even talking about this.”

  “Probably, but I don’t want to go backward.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “We’re already living together. If you move out, that’s a backward move for us. I want to go forward.”

  “So that means…”

  “We’ll find a place together. With room for Stella.”

  For a long time, Amanda stared at him, trying to find any hint of hesitation or second thoughts. But she saw only a man who cared about her as much as she cared about him, a man who’d accepted the probability of her daughter coming to live with them without missing a beat. This man who brought Christmas trees to the seniors in town had the kind of loving heart she wanted in her life—and in her daughter’s life.

  “Are we really doing this?”

  “Oh yeah, baby. We’re doing it, all right.” He hugged her so tightly, she couldn’t breathe. “And I’m so happy about it.”

  She flashed a suggestive grin. “Why’s that?”

  “You know exactly why. It’s because I’m falling for you, and all I want is to be with you. Things I do every day, like cut grass, shear trees, fight fires… Everything else is suddenly boring compared to being with you.”

  Ridiculously moved by his sweet words, Amanda said, “So what you’re saying is I basically ruined your life?”

  “Not at all. I think, perhaps,
you might make my life.”

  As Amanda hugged him, she realized everything was changing, and a few months ago, that would’ve scared the hell out of her. Now, she couldn’t be happier. “Same.”

  The next afternoon, Amanda met with Elmer at his home. Before she even pulled into the driveway, she was already charmed by the sign hanging from his mailbox: Justice of the Peace, Notary Public, Free Advice. What more could anyone want from any one man? Amanda knew from previous interactions that Elmer Stillman was sweet, adorable and full of wisdom that he freely shared with his beloved grandchildren.

  She couldn’t wait to get to know him better.

  Elmer greeted her at the door with a warm, welcoming smile and showed her into his cluttered but comfortable home. Landon had told her his grandfather never threw anything away because he loved to be surrounded by things that made him happy. He wore a red flannel shirt rolled up over his forearms and jeans held up by red suspenders. Central casting couldn’t have found a more perfect character to play the role of the doting grandfather.

  “What can I get you, my dear?”

  “Whatever you’re having is fine with me. Thank you.”

  Elmer made cups of hot chocolate and topped them with whipped cream from a can. “I don’t know about you, but I need something sweet around this time of day to pick me up.”

  “I never say no to something sweet. I used to get in trouble for eating the whipped cream right from the can.”

  “Ah, yes,” he said, chuckling, “I think every one of my grandchildren has been in trouble for that particular thing at least once, particularly your friend Landon and his twin.”

  “Whipped cream is always worth the trouble.”

  “On that we agree.” He brought a tin of chocolate cookies when he joined her at the table. “You may be noticing a theme here.”

  “We also agree on the magic of chocolate.” Amanda took a sip of her drink. “Delicious.”

  He sipped from his mug and ate a cookie. “I heard you met with Mildred yesterday. How did that go?”

  “It was great. She’s such a lovely lady.”

  “That she is. She’s worked for my family’s business for more than eighty years.”

  “It’s quite an accomplishment.”