Upside Down
Page 3
said. “Did you try to save him?”
I pointed at the vic’s neck. “Nasty glass shard in there. Even if I got the glass out and applied pressure to the wound, it was an arterial wound, so it looked hopeless.”
“Still, you could have tried.”
“I’m not a cop any more. I’m not obligated to keep dirtbags alive.”
“You’re creeping me out,” said Molly.
She said that a lot to me.
“Anything strange about the Eastman crime scene?” I asked.
“You mean stranger than drowning upside down tied to an ironing board, with three balloons tied to an arm?” replied Molly.
“Yes.”
“There’s evidence of water boarding.”
“He tortured Bentley and Eastman.”
“I’m guessing they pissed him off, Loverboy.”
Molly emphasized ‘Loverboy’ in a tone I’ve heard from many ex-girlfriends, just before the breakup.
@#@#@#@#@#
Lela said, “What’s with you and the ME girl?”
“We’re working another case together.”
“It’s more than that.”
“I’ve known her for years.”
“It’s more than that, too. I saw her give you ‘the look’. I heard her call you ‘Loverboy’.”
@#@#@#@#@#
Lela and I were talking about various strains of medicine.
Molly came over and said, “Both of you show me your hands.”
Lela and I held out our hands. Molly looked at our palms and fingers.
Meanwhile, I said, “Molly, Lela Jennings, Lela, Molly Anderson.”
“Nice to meet you,” said Lela.
Molly said, “Neither of you have cuts on your hands. If you purposely stabbed the victim with that shard of glass, you’d have cuts. So, I’m believing your accidental death story, due to lack of evidence otherwise.”
“Thanks,” said Lela.
“Just doing my job,” said Molly. “Well, I’m off to the morgue. I gotta cut Melanie Eatme.”
“I’ll walk you out,” I said.
@#@#@#@#@#
Outside, Molly said, “So, you’re hanging with drug dealers now.”
“I just met her today,” I said.
“Whatever.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Am I?”
“You’re still my girl.”
“I’m Johnny Walker’s girl.”
“I’ll buy you a double at The Cave after the Eatme cut.”
“Ok, see you there.”
Molly got in her sports car and pealed rubber leaving her parking place.
The Cave was a dive bar near the morgue. I knew Lela wasn’t invited.
@#@#@#@#@#
Back inside, Ben and Lela were laughing.
“What did I miss?” I asked.
“I asked about Melanie Eatme,” said Lela.
“I told her the signature story,” said Ben.
“Aha,” I said. “What about my gun?”
Ben fished it out of a blazer pocket. “Since you didn’t actually hit anybody, you can have it back.”
I took the gun and checked that the safety was on. It was. I holstered my weapon.
Ben said, “Cap is calling a meeting on the real estate doer now, said for me to bring you in personally, so you don’t get into any more trouble on the way downtown.”
“Give me 5,” I said.
Ben left to go wait outside.
“I want some medicine,” I said.
“Another brownie?” asked Lela.
“Some smoke,” I replied.
Lela opened a drawer and pulled out a small baggie of weed. When she handed me the bag, she said, “On the house.”
“I couldn’t. I insist on paying.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll charge you next time.”
“What if I never come back?”
“Then I’ll be calling you Michael Eatme. Now, go meet Cap. Let me clean up here.”
I pocketed the bag and went out to meet Ben for my ride downtown.
@#@#@#@#@#
Ben was driving.
“Why were you in a weed dispensary?” asked Ben.
“According to my doctor, I have excruciating pain,” I said.
“So, you have a weed license, then?”
“Yup. Just got it today.”
“Damn. I gotta get me some of that.”
“Some of that pain? Trust me, you don’t want it.”
“My 22 year old nephew has a weed license for pain, but you gotta know a young guy like that ain’t actually hurting, not like you, anyway. I mean like I saw your Crown Vic after you crashed in the snow storm chasing that rapist.”
“Fucking Denver,” I said. “Still can’t believe it fucking snowed in fucking September.”
@#@#@#@#@#
We walked into the lobby of police headquarters. A poodle approached me, then sat down. Suddenly, two big guys grabbed me.
The guy with the beard said, “What are you holding, Ferris?”
I knew him, Moss from vice.
“Weed,” I said.
Moss frisked me and quickly found Lela’s package.
“I have a license for that, Moss.”
“Fuck your license,” said Moss. He put the package in his pocket.
“Since when do you have dogs in the police headquarters lobby?” I asked.
The other vice guy said, “Generally, we don’t, but we’re training a new dog, here. We were going to walk some drugs past her in like half an hour, but here you come, smuggling into police headquarters. It’s like the perfect test.”
The vice guys laughed.
Ben said, “We’re late for a meeting with Cap about a double homicide.”
“Go,” said Moss.
We went.
@#@#@#@#@#
News travelled fast.
Cap said, “Ferris, you’re an idiot.”
“I told Moss I had a license for it.”
“That doesn’t mean you can bring it into fucking police headquarters.”
“If I had it to do over again, I would’ve left it Ben’s car.”
“Right, because drugs in an official police vehicle would be SO much better.”
@#@#@#@#@#
We eventually talked about the case.
Cap said, “I have another team investigating the connection between Gloria Bentley and Melanie Eastman. Not much help, there. The women were friends. Eastman was the mortgage broker on 70% of Bentley’s real estate sales. It eliminates 30% of Bentley’s clients, but that’s still a lot of people.”
I said, “There’s lots of real estate symbolism in the crime scenes.”
“Like what?” said Cap.
“At the Bentley killing, he tried to make her catch a falling knife,” I said.
Ben said, “The ‘falling knife’ part is an idiom for buying into a crashing market. Her ex said that buying into the crashing real estate market would’ve been like catching a falling knife.”
“I’ve heard that idiom,” said Cap.
“Then, at the Eastman killing,” I said, “the victim was upside down and under water.”
“What do the balloons on the arm mean?” asked Cap.
I shrugged.
Ben said, “I’m guessing Adjustable Rate Mortgage, with a three year balloon.”
“A balloon would be bad, then, I take it,” said Cap.
“A three year balloon would automatically increase the interest rate after three years,” said Ben.
“Who would want that?” asked Cap.
“Somebody who planned on flipping the property for a profit in like two years,” replied Ben.
“Oh, I see,” said Cap, “the buyer wanted to flip it, but the market crashed and then he got stuck with a devalued property and a sucky mortgage.”
“He would then be upside down and under water on his mortgage,” I said.
“And suddenly have bigger mortgage payments,” said Ben.
@#@#@#@#@#
We were working with Guthrie and Tamara, the other team.
Guthrie said, “We didn’t think much about the crime scene imagery, but we figured out we were looking for a disgruntled real estate buyer.”
“And?” said Ben.
“That’s like everybody in 2008 and 2009,” said Tamara.
“And plenty more in other years,” said Guthrie.
“What happens when you factor in an ARM with a 3 year balloon?” asked Ben.
“Five strong matches and like 20 possibles,” said Tamara.
“What makes the 5 so strong?” asked Ben.
“All 5 are fighting foreclosure right now,” said Guthrie. “The others have either already lost their property or aren’t currently under foreclosure.”
“Anything unusual about any one of the five?” I asked.
“Yes,” said Tamara. “The guy with the Denver condo hasn’t got a pot to piss in, but he recently spent $800 on EBay for a ‘Robo Chucky’ doll, whatever that is.”
“It’s a doll in the likeness of Chucky from the Chucky movies,” I said. “You put batteries in it and Robo Chucky repeatedly stabs forward with a soft plastic knife. It was recalled because some kid detached the rubber knife and replaced it with his dad’s fish fillet knife, then proceeded to Robo Chucky the family pet to death.”
“So what?” said Guthrie.
“It’s a clue,” I said.
“I admit it’s odd,” said Tamara, “but I don’t see the clue part.”
“Mike’s the king of odd,” said Ben. “If he says it’s a clue, I’m ready to listen.”
I sighed and said, “First he did his real estate agent. Then he did his mortgage broker. Using Robo Chucky as a clue, I guessing the next victim will be …”
@#@#@#@#@#
The killer said, “Think of this as a metaphor for the foreclosure industry.”
“What am I to you?”
“You’re the asshole who signed my foreclosure documents.”
“Sorry. Nothing personal. I’ve signed documents for hundreds of mortgages.”
The killer playfully thrusted Robo Chucky forward a few times.
“Nothing personal here either, mister VP scum.”
“No wait, I’m not really a VP, ok? They just made me a VP because foreclosure documents need a VP signer.”
“Fucking robosigner.”
@#@#@#@#@#
We looked at the condo owner’s foreclosure documents. One person signed all of the documents, a VP at a local bank.
The bank VP’s house was nearby. The 4 of us piled into Ben’s car and went over there.
An empty Robo Chucky box sat on the front porch. We entered the house.
The killer was brandishing Robo Chucky like a weapon. The knife in Robo Chucky’s hand looked dangerous. We hesitated, meanwhile surrounding the killer.
I said, “Sir, step away from Robo Chucky.”
That distracted the killer. We jumped him from all directions.
Robo Chucky was in the middle of the melee. He was switched on.
@#@#@#@#@#
I limped into The Cave. This time, it was my right leg.
My jeans were cut off at the right knee. Below that, there was a large bandage.
Bartender Dan said, “What happened to you?”
“Robo Chucky,” I said.
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s a long story. Is Molly still here?”
“Yes. I cut her off and took her car keys. I was going to call her a cab, but here you are.”
“I’m a bit late, but yes, here I am.”
The bartender held out Molly’s keys and said, “I’ll give you 10 bucks if you take her home in her car.”
“This one’s on me.”
“Ok, I’ll buy you a drink next time, then.”
“Thanks for taking care of her.”
“No problem.”
@#@#@#@#@#
Molly said, “Hey, look who’s here.”
“We caught Melanie Eatme’s killer,” I said.
“Did anybody else die?”
“Nope. We figured out who the next vic would be and we raided his house when the killer was there.”
“Let’s celebrate! Dan! Another double here.”
The bartender shook his head.
I said, “You’re cut off. Come on, Moll, I’m taking you home.”
I helped her to her car and drove her home.
@#@#@#@#@#
I gently placed Molly on the couch. I left her keys on the kitchen counter near the coffee maker.
When I returned from the kitchen, Molly was snoring on the couch. I adjusted her blanket, then left.
Outside, I called a cab from my cell phone.
@#@#@#@#@#
At the dispensary, I discovered Lela had a sister named Chery. I had them howling with laughter when I told the story about my “bust” at police headquarters.
Finally, I said, “So, I gotta know