Boss Rules: A Knocked Up Romance
Page 19
“Fine,” I say as I close the door and walk away.
I drive in a daze. That man. He has me turning more ways than a compass.
A car horn behind me reminds me to pull through the stop sign. Oops.
I pass by the little houses and the big mansion, the streets I was just beginning to know. But things are different now, and I’ve got work to do.
My brain starts to speed up. I can’t rely on keeping the job, so I need to start searching online for openings. But first, I need to get some food for the apartment. I refuse to just live off Jeremy’s supply.
Whipping into the grocery store parking lot, I run through my list of cheap things to eat, things that used to be my staples.
Inside the store, I grab a buggy and head for the produce, then the dried goods, before passing through the meat and dairy section, which will bust my budget.
As I round the corner looking for the rice and pasta aisle, I find myself standing face to face with the first row of pharmacy shelves. And right at eye level are pregnancy tests.
Like some omen.
The blood in my veins freezes.
God. I got so blindsided yesterday by the Christian and Bryce brawl, the suspension, and the hours of crying, I didn’t even think about this.
It's a good thing I didn’t because I might have really cried my bloody eyes out.
Wouldn’t it just be the icing on the layer cake of uncertainty?
My hand wavers, then I snatch two boxes with two tests in each.
Might as well rip the frickin bandage off now. Waiting isn’t going to make this situation any better.
If I’m pregnant, I want to know as every decision I make will be affected.
Jeremy’s at work when I get to the apartment. The silent space welcomes me but does nothing to calm my nerves.
Dropping my bags of groceries on the kitchen counter, I rummage through them, looking for those little pink and white boxes.
In the next instant, I’m stumbling on wobbly legs toward the bath in my suite.
My heart races as I fumble with the instruction paper. This suddenly feels like the most important moment of my life. A moment I never thought I’d face.
For some reason, I wish I wasn’t doing this alone. A friend. A lover. A…
Stop it, Raven. You’ve done everything in your life alone. Get a fucking grip.
I shake out the paper and smooth out the creases before looking over the little drawings and bulleted instructions.
The easy part is getting the sample.
The hard part is being brave enough to watch for the results to appear.
I watch the time tick by on the watch I wear for lifeguarding.
Finally, I look.
My heart skitters. Two lines.
Two lines mean I’m pregnant!
Two lines.
Not one line, but two lines, clear as can be.
I sink down onto the floor. My breath comes too fast, and dizziness grips me.
Suddenly, everything feels too close. I scramble up. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m bounding down the stairs and running out into the driveway. My feet carry me to the street.
The sting of tears bites at my eyes.
The wind lifts my hair from my face as I run…to where, I have no idea.
The sobs squeezing my chest finally reduce me to a walk. I swipe at my face with the sleeve of my rescue t-shirt. It hurts to look at the color—too much of a reminder.
There isn’t any more room in my head for painful memories.
The parade of snapshots in my brain from my childhood is enough.
My mother. Tammy. I’ll never be like her.
No way.
I swore I’d never raise a child alone, living on the edge of homelessness and hunger.
I never knew or understood why she didn’t just do something, anything, to fix our lives.
She never did, and she still hasn’t even attempted to stand on her own two feet.
But that is not me.
I’ve always stood on my own.
The only option.
Anger speeds up my steps.
I’ll not let a child come into this world and live a life like mine.
28
Chapter 28
Raven hasn’t responded to my text. I read over the words I sent, wondering if she somehow misinterpreted something I sent.
That can’t be it. My messages were benign.
I slam the rake onto the ground and drag it once more through the scattered debris that’s fallen off the trees.
A huge pile of palm leaves and random lawn shit is the result of my attempt at distraction. And avoidance.
I made sure to give everyone time to leave for the day.
One busted lip is enough for the week.
It was pretty easy to predict when the coast would be clear, except for my dad. Retirement knows no time clock.
Angrily, I drag at the ground again. Worry rips at my insides. Why hasn’t she gotten back to me?
Pulling out my phone, I confirm. Nada. No text. No call.
“Hey,” calls a voice from behind me.
My head drops. Great.
“Have you talked to Christian yet to find out if there is any way out of this?”
“No, Dad. I haven’t. I needed to decompress, and I’m sure he did too.”
A grin cocks the corner of his mouth, but it’s not friendly.
“I guess she helped you decompress last night.”
“She has a name,” I snap. “And you need to leave her out of this.”
“Why her of all the women in the world?” he asks more casually.
“Why did you fall for Mom?”
I see a tick in his jaw, the same tick I get when I’m mad.
“See, you know it’s not as simple as who is right or who is wrong. The fact that her parents hated you didn’t make her any less desirable, did it?”
“No, it didn’t,” he admits with anger, pain evident in his eyes.
“Look, Dad. I’m about to turn 32. I’m tired of walking on eggshells, doing what you or the other Archers think is right. I made the decision to sleep with Raven, and it came with risks. Now I have to deal with the outcome.”
I grind the rake across the grass one more time. “I know I’ve disappointed you, and I’m sorry. I know I’m not the man you hoped I’d be. But this is me. If you can’t love me like this, with my flaws and my decisions, then don’t.”
He’s silent and perfectly still, both of which are rare for the man.
He’s usually always in motion and always has something to say.
When I raise my eyes to his—eyes the exact same color as mine—I see a shimmer of tears in them.
“I would never stop loving you, Bryce” His voice is thick. “And what you said reminds me of something I don’t think about a lot these days, which is how I didn’t give a damn what your mom’s parents wanted. I wanted her, and she wanted me. It didn’t matter the consequences.”
He chokes back a ball of emotion.
My heart squeezes when I say, “I miss her too, Dad.”
“The pain is hard. And Bryce, I am proud of you. I always have been. When I pushed, I wanted you to see how much you can do. You’re an incredible man.” His strong hand clamps my shoulder. “I know you’ll be okay. Talking to Christian is a good place to start so that you know what options there are for making this right no matter how you decide to continue with Raven.”
He pulls me into a bear hug then slaps me on the back before he walks away, back across the grass under the shade of the dancing palm trees.
The door to Christian’s office is partly open as I approach. I tap on it once. “Hey, you in there?”
“Yeah.”
When I push back the thin wooden door, I groan. Christian’s eyes are black as a raccoon’s mask.
“Man. Should you even be at work?”
“Not the first time I’ve had a black eye at work.”
I close the door behind me.
“I came to talk to you about my options. Our options,” I correct.
He studies me for a moment then grumbles, “These are the things council is considering. These are not my ideas, I’ll have you know.”
“What is your idea?” I have to ask.
“Beat the hell out of you, but beyond that, I’m not sure what. Maybe make you clean golf carts and rent umbrellas for the rest of your life.”
“Fine, so be it,” I say with finality.
“Shut up, you idiot.” he grinds. “You’re too good at your job. If you don’t work at it here, you should go to another county.”
“Whatever. I really don’t care.”
“Why?” he asks with a tilt of his head.
“Because I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure Raven gets to keep her job.”
His mouth twists for a second, and he glances at his desk. My eyes land on an envelope in the middle of the scratched wooden expanse.
The name R. Carson is written on the top left. In the center, the letters spell out—RE: Resignation.
“No!” I bark. Before he can move, the letter is in my hand. I tear it, envelope and all, in half. “That’s bullshit.”
Christian leans back. “It’s done. She was here hours ago.”
Fuck. “Don’t. Don’t do this. She is not quitting.”
“Really? Because she seemed pretty damned sure of herself when she marched in here.”
Both my hands land on his desk. I lean in and growl, “I know you have had it out for me lately, Chris, but I am asking you to do this for me. I don’t know what bad blood swirls between us, but I know it doesn’t run as deep as the blood that binds us Archers together. For the life of god, do not accept her resignation. She needs this job. This is her life. Her future.”
I see the fire in his eyes leap to life. “And what about your life? Your future?”
“I’m not worried about that. I’ve got a place to live, and I’ve got a strong body and a sharp mind. I’ll land on both feet. Don’t you worry about that.”
“You’re stupid.”
“No, I’m not. I’m doing what I know is right. I quit. I resign. Tell the council to keep her. I’m gone.”
“I won’t do it. You’ve got to deliver your own message at the hearing.”
“Fine. When is it?”
“Two weeks.”
I stand up straight and crush the pieces of Raven’s resignation in my fists. “Not a word to anyone about this.”
He watches me with his cool blue-grey eyes for an agonizing moment. “Alright,” he concedes.
I turn to walk to the door, but I suddenly realize Christian might have the answers I need. “Do you know where she is? Raven’s not answering my texts or calls.”
His jaw works side to side. “Not for sure, but she mentioned something about trying to get her old job back.”
“Fuck.”
The door leading to the outside of the building crashes open as I sprint toward my truck.
Hitting Jeremy’s number in my contacts, I listen to the ring as I rip open my truck door.
“Hey, Bryce,” he answers casually.
“Where’s your apartment?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve got to see Raven.”
There’s a long pause, and I hear people talking in the background. He’s at work, I can tell by the voices.
“She wasn’t there when I left for work this morning.”
“No shit, she was in my bed.”
“Uh…”
“Tell me where you live; this is critical.”
He rattles off the house number and the street and tells me how to get to the top floor apartment before he asks, “Is she okay?”
“I don’t know, but I’m on my way to make sure.”
“Should I come too?” His voice carries the worry I feel in my gut.
“No, I’ll let you know when I find out she’s okay.”
“Bryce, there’s a spare key under the rock on the landing.”
“Thanks, man,” I say before disconnecting the call.
29
Chapter 29
My phone dings for the hundredth time. Another text. I know it’s Bryce, but I can’t breathe when I think about him.
I thumb up my contacts and select Darren’s name. It rings a few times as I watch people stroll by on the pier. “Hey, it’s Raven.”
“Of course, it’s you. I saw the name. Why do you think I answered? I screen all my other calls.”
“Well, aren’t I lucky?”
“Indeed. What’s up, sugar cakes?”
“Sugar cakes?” I laugh.
“What’s up, babe?”
“I need to ask for a favor and also ask some awkward questions.”
“Jeez, Raven. You sound serious. Of course, whatever you need.”
“Thanks, Darren. I knew you’d be just the friend I need right now.”
“What can I do?”
“Do you have any leads on beach patrol jobs in California?”
He pauses for a second before saying, “Job not working out?”
“No, it’s not.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll put out feelers. I have a lot of contacts there.”
“I know, that’s why I asked.”
“What else, beautiful?”
I sigh. God, I do not want to ask this question. “How many months can a pregnant woman work beach patrol before she has to stop?”
I hear a sharp intake of breath. “Is this a hypothetical question?”
“I guess because that said woman has to have a job in the industry for it to be real.”
“Raven…”
“I know, don’t judge. It’s complicated.”
“Who’s the father?”
I bite my lip. “A lifeguard.”
“Shit, is he a good man?”
My heart squeezes. “Yeah.”
“Babe, are you okay?”
“For the moment, I guess I’m okay.”
“I’ve had lifeguards work almost their entire pregnancy. Some stayed on the stand as long as they felt capable while some took desk jobs.”
I sigh, and a little tension leaves my body. “That’s good to know. I guess the next task is finding another job.”
“You call me if you need anything. You hear me, girl?”
“I will. If you hear of any jobs, call me too.”
“You betcha, sugar cakes.”
I can’t help but smile a little when I hang up. Darren has been a good friend for years. I know he’ll do all he can to help me.
From the pier, I can see the beach below. See the lifeguard stands. The observation tower. People all about. I needed to feel the ocean air on my face but couldn’t stomach the idea of being down there on the sand where someone from work might see me.
After I sit for a while, it feels like I should get back online for the job search.
As I wander down the stairs, I see a flier for Beach Vibes. Maybe a dose of Maddy sunshine will help me light the path forward.
The bell tinkles over the door, and some kids dart out on either side of me, giggling as they race toward the beach.
“Just a minute,” calls Maddy from the back room.
I push open the bead curtain. “It’s just me.”
“Oh, Raven! What a nice surprise. Come on back.”
Maddy’s making cinnamon rolls. Oh my god, do they smell good.
I don’t have a big sweet tooth, but for the last week, I’ve eaten every sweet thing in sight. And next up is a big fat cinnamon roll.
“I hope those are not sold because I want one.”
She giggles. “Of course. Let them cool off a bit first, though. Pull up a stool.”
I climb on the wooden stool and watch her make magic. She glances at me, then stops what she’s doing.
“Okay, spill. Your aura is all wrong.”
“My aura?”
“I can just tell.”
“So, I guess the rumor mill didn’t reach this far yet.”
“No, but…wait a minute…I did hear that Christian has two black eyes. I’m actually sending him some cinnamon rolls.”
I chew on my lip. “Uh…”
Her eyes widen. “Did you give him two black eyes?”
I shake my head. “Nah, wasn’t me, but I was there.”
She makes an eek face.
“Yeah.”
“Spill it, girl. Your cork’s gonna pop if you hold in whatever is inside you.”
“Is it that obvious I’m kinda on the brink?”
“You’re a wee bit like a ticking time bomb.”
“Okay. Well, remember that thing between Bryce and me? It blew up in our face, and we both got suspended…”
“Whoa.”
“Yep. Bryce and I had sex the night of the banquet, and we got caught. The county council wanted us to be suspended. So when Christian came to tell us, he and Bryce had a fistfight.”
Maddy leans back against the work table and worries at her lip with her teeth.
I try to continue, but I start to choke up. “And…”
Her brows rise.
I just can’t even say the words. Tears and a loud sob burst out of me.
“Oh my god.” She rushes over and pulls me into her arms. “Shhh, it’s okay.”
“But, but it’s not okay. I resigned, I’m jobless, I’m pregnant, and I have no clue what to do.” I croak between ragged sobs.
“Raven, oh my heavens.” She strokes my hair.
My tears soak her gauzy pink shirt and drip onto her apron.
“Go ahead, babe, cry all you need.”
After a few minutes, I can finally breathe.
Jeez, I never cry.
I’m a mess, last night and today, and my emotions are all over the place.
“It’s too much. Everything. Like a perfect storm of awful.”
“Here, let me get you some water.” She hurries over to the sink and fills up a mug. “I’m sure I can help you find something.”
“I’m probably going to have to leave. I have to go wherever I can find work. I can’t rely on someone else. That’s never been an option for me, and it isn’t now.”
“Where will you go?”