The Love Island Bookshop

by Kate Frost

  Guests came and went all evening. Some stayed a while and settled in the sunken seating area with a glass of fizz, while others browsed the bookshop and chatted to Mia. Everyone was plied with drinks and the bar staff were kept busy mixing spirits and creating cocktails all evening, while waiters took round trays of tempura prawns, reef fish sashimi and rice-paper vegetable rolls. Like Zander, Freya made an effort to speak to everyone who came. The bookshop was finally open; the last few months had been leading up to this moment and it was beginning to feel like everything was as she hoped it would be.

  ~

  Mia joined Freya on the edge of the clearing as the last of the guests left, stopping to say goodbye to Zander on their way to the beach. She handed Freya a glass of champagne.

  ‘That was an immensely enjoyable evening,’ she said, nudging her bare shoulder gently against Freya’s. ‘There’s something very special about having a mix of so many different people from all over the place together like this, and it’s heartening to see their enthusiasm for books and reading.’

  ‘Yes, one couple said they only ever have the time to read when they’re on holiday.’

  ‘Which makes you realise how perfect this place is. A bookshop on a tropical island is a genius idea and I’m immensely honoured to have been invited to open it. I shall have lots to tell my husband when I get home.’

  Freya frowned. ‘Oh, for some reason I assumed you were single.’

  ‘Easily done. My husband rarely comes with me to events. We’re blissfully happy but also lead rather independent lives. He’s a lawyer and is quite often out at some do or another and a lot of the time our individual events clash, so we go alone, which suits us both fine. I did invite him out here but lazing by a pool all day while his wife works is not his style – I say more fool him. Zander has been a complete gentleman, though, looking after me. You’ve been wonderful too. I’m just sorry I’m not staying for longer, although I think I may have to come back for a holiday sometime and bring the husband with me.’

  ‘And I look forward to seeing you again when I get back to London...’

  ‘If you come back.’ Mia looked at her with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. ‘I’m not sure I’d be able to tear myself away from here if I was you.’

  Freya glanced behind them at the bookshop glowing in the darkness. ‘You might be right about that.’

  Mia tapped her champagne glass against Freya’s. ‘To you, Zander, and the wonderful love island bookshop.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘All I’ve been hearing over the past couple of days is about the epic bookshop launch.’ Drew came into Freya’s room and plonked herself down on the end of the bed.

  ‘It’s been a whirlwind to say the least.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you properly in about a week.’

  ‘And now I’m even busier with the bookshop actually open.’

  ‘It must be a good feeling though, finally getting to see and speak to guests.’

  ‘Oh, it is. I’ve missed being immersed in books and talking about them to people. And it’s fun, with such a wide range of ages and people from all over the world.’

  ‘I’ll try and pop in one morning and see it properly.’ Drew stood and smoothed down her Loabi Fushi Spa uniform. ‘Also, after you’ve finished at the bookshop one evening, you should totally come and find me at the spa. Keep me company while I finish up. I’d love to show you where I work.’

  They said goodbye and got on with their day: Drew to the spa to massage guests, and Freya to the bookshop. Life on the island revolved around work, so it was good to do something different and see where Drew worked. Even though she’d come to the island certain that she’d be happy with her own company, she was glad to have made a friend in Drew.

  ~

  The spa was a hidden oasis, hugged by lush vegetation. Freya emerged from the humidity beneath the dense trees to a sight that took her breath away. The pathway led to a wooden bridge over a pond filled with lily pads. Raised stone pots spilled over with oregano and lavender, filling the air with a delicious scent. Three domed interconnecting reed-covered buildings clad in bleached wood filled the far side of the clearing, the middle one open on all sides with cushioned seating. The only sound was the trickle of water from the fountain at the centre of an open pagoda.

  The glow of lamplight drew her eye inside. She spied movement through the glass side of one of the buildings that overlooked the pond. She crossed the bridge, soaking up the details of the clear water glowing with lights, the delicate blue lilies dwarfed by the lily pads and the shadows of koi beneath the surface. The lavender scent changed to a more exotic spiced aroma inside the spa. Freya’s first impression was of lots of smooth, warm wood, and glass sides with views to the garden and down to the beach. The trees left enough of a gap to see the glimmering silver of the ocean against the dark green trees and the fading pink light of dusk.

  ‘You came.’

  Freya turned at the sound of the voice. Drew, dressed in her navy spa tunic, greeted her with a hug. She gestured at the bronze wall lights that spilt warmth on to the pale walls and candles flickering on a sideboard. ‘So, what do you think?’

  Freya laughed. ‘I thought the bookshop was heaven. This is something else.’

  ‘You see why I like my job and this island so much.’ She folded a fluffy white towel and placed it with others on a shelf. ‘Beats anything I could do in the UK. And I guess that’s the trouble; I’m spoilt here so I’m not sure anywhere would live up to this.’

  ‘Do you want to leave?’

  ‘No. At least not any time soon,’ she said. ‘It’s been good to escape.’

  ‘From what?’

  ‘Normality. Life is boring back home. But I’m only in my twenties and at the start of my career. The trouble is, I don’t see myself here in my thirties.’

  ‘Yeah, I get that. I’ve not been here long and have no intention of leaving if I can help it, but it doesn’t feel like a place you can stay forever. It’s not somewhere I imagine you could settle down and have a family.’

  ‘You’re totally right. I sort of feel another two or three years would be the max for me. But we’ll see. For now, I love it.’

  Drew showed her around. It was far bigger than it looked from the outside with private treatment rooms hidden within the trees, each with an open-air rainwater shower and bathtub where you could gaze up into the leaves to the sky above.

  ‘No more treatments today then?’ Freya asked when they returned to the main area where a gentle breeze drifted in.

  ‘Not today. I’m finishing off in here and Akira is tidying away on the other side. She does this amazing Japanese treatment which smells divine. We’ve got guests booked in all day tomorrow so lots to prepare for.’

  ‘Can I help with anything?’

  ‘Nope. I didn’t invite you here to work, just to show off the place I get to work at every day. Anyway, I thought I’d treat you to a massage after the crazy week you’ve had opening the bookshop.’

  ‘Oh, you can’t give me a massage.’

  ‘Why not? No one’s around apart from Akira. I only mean a shoulder massage. Trust me, you’ll love it.’

  Drew twiddled her around and made her sit on a stool next to the counter that looked through the dark trees to the beach. She twisted Freya’s hair into a bun and clipped it up.

  ‘Smell this.’ She unscrewed a small coffee-coloured bottle and held it under Freya’s nose.

  ‘That’s gorgeous.’ She couldn’t quite place the scent, but it evoked an exotic warmth, perfect for the surroundings, a richness and hint of spice that permeated the place.

  Drew slipped the straps of Freya’s vest top off her shoulders. She gently started to massage the oil into her skin.

  ‘You have a lot of tension,’ Drew said. ‘I thought you’d be as relaxed as anything living here.’

  ‘I sort of am.’

  Drew worked her thumbs at a knot beneath Freya’s shoulder blade. ‘That makes no se
nse. You either are or you aren’t.’ She laughed.

  Freya closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated on the sensation of Drew kneading her shoulder. She really should be happy and carefree; on Loabi Fushi there was nothing but opportunity and happiness, new friends, a new life, and a lifestyle most people could only dream of. Yet she knew what ate away at her, even on a tropical island thousands of miles away from home and reality.

  ‘I brought my worries with me,’ Freya eventually said, opening her eyes. The sight of shadowy palms against the silvery ocean and pink sky was at odds with her feelings.

  ‘You did?’ Drew’s fingers momentarily stilled and then she began massaging again. ‘What did you have to worry about back home?’

  ‘Maybe worry is the wrong word. On paper my life was fine.’

  ‘The way you said “fine” speaks volumes.’

  Freya smiled. ‘It’s rubbish isn’t it how we say we’re fine and okay but we’re actually anything but.’

  ‘Let me guess. Man trouble?’

  ‘Not exactly. My life fell apart before my relationship did, but his heartlessness was the final blow.’

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ She swept her thumbs along each side of her neck and across her shoulders. ‘Actually, forget that. Don’t tell me now; you’re tense enough as it is.’

  Freya allowed herself to relax as she breathed in the sweet, spiced air, watched the flickering candlelight, and listened to the trickle of water from the garden behind them. She needed rejuvenating; this was what the move and drastic change was partly about. To deal with the past and her feelings and work out a new direction in her life. To finally move on, emotionally.

  ‘How does that feel?’ Drew lifted her hands off Freya’s shoulders and wiped them on a towel.

  Freya wiggled them about enjoying the soothed and relaxed feeling. ‘Like a weight’s been lifted.’

  ‘Told you, you needed that.’

  ‘The guests must love you.’

  ‘I aim to please.’ She perched on a stool on the other side of the counter and lit another candle. A swirl of smoke spiralled into the dimly lit spa.

  ‘I still haven’t got used to how early it gets dark here,’ Freya said.

  ‘I kinda like it. Back home I’d stay up way too late and be shattered in the morning, while here it doesn’t feel so bad going to bed early when it’s already been dark for three or four hours. It’s funny how quickly you get used to these things.’

  ‘I like the diversity here; there are so many people from all over the world, totally different backgrounds. It’s fascinating.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s either people working here because they earn loads more than wherever home is – the downside is they have to live away from family. Or like me, it’s an exciting place to earn a decent living. We’re all trying to escape something though, mostly the monotony of working to live. And I know what you’re going to say, that we work all the time here and actually get little time off, but when we do... I can’t tell you how many amazing places I’ve visited. I’m saving money too, far more than I would back home even if I was still living with my parents.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘I love them to bits but I was stifled back there. I’m the eldest of four and my sisters are much younger.’

  Freya nodded. ‘I know that feeling. Not so much the stifled bit but having a massive age gap. It’s the same with me and my brother, except it’s the other way round – I’m the younger one by twelve years.’

  ‘That is a chunk of time. My sisters are all in their teens. I’m five years older than the eldest, but there’s eight years between me and my youngest sister. A lot of hormones going on in our house.’ Drew tightened the cap on the massage oil and sighed. ‘I weirdly miss it but at the same time I’m like glad I’m not living there any longer. I do feel for my poor dad though. Four girls and now three of them teenagers at the same time.’

  ‘Yeah, that must be crazy, and totally different to my upbringing. I can only ever remember it being me. By the time I was six, my brother had gone to uni, so most of the time it didn’t even feel like I had a sibling. My parents have never said this, it’s just my impression, but I’m almost one hundred per cent certain I wasn’t planned. They’d just got to the point of gaining their independence back with my brother being a teenager. They were past the stage of needing a babysitter, they’d got new-found freedom and I’m pretty sure they’d been making plans to emigrate when I happened. I kind of put an end to that.’

  ‘Surely they could have still emigrated even with a baby?’

  ‘You’d think, huh. I would have liked to have grown up in New Zealand.’ Freya stared out at the idyllic view, the peacefulness calming despite the way thinking about her parents made her feel. ‘They have a vineyard out there and spend their days growing grapes, making wine and giving vineyard tours. They work hard but it’s an amazing life. A baby wouldn’t have fitted in with their plans.’

  ‘Why didn’t they go when you were a bit older then?’

  ‘Because by that time my brother had gone to uni, so he would have been left in the UK alone.’

  Drew frowned.

  ‘And I know, it sounds mad because that’s exactly what they did with me. As soon as I went to uni, they upped and left. I think they’d got to an age where they thought it was now or never.’ Freya shrugged.

  ‘That must have been tough. There’s no way I’d have coped if that had happened to me. I mean, however much my family drive me bonkers, it’s good to know they’re there. They’re always there for me.’ Drew looked thoughtful as she gazed at the pot of Moroccan oil in her hands.

  Freya wasn’t sure whether to say anything or not, whether she was ready to open up to someone who she’d only known for a short time. But friendships in a place like this seemed to be made fast. It was the nature of living and working somewhere you were unable to leave for weeks on end. And Drew had become a real friend, someone Freya looked forward to seeing, someone she felt comfortable chatting with. She clutched the edge of the counter. God did she need a friend like that.

  ‘I wasn’t totally on my own,’ Freya eventually said.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘In the holidays, the main ones like summer and Easter – sometimes Christmas if I didn’t spend it with my brother in France – I’d go and stay with my best friend and her family. I’d known them since I was seven and we were really close. They were happy to have me crash their family time, so it honestly didn’t feel like I was alone...’

  ‘Or abandoned more like.’ Drew raised an eyebrow.

  ‘I was an adult and pretty much grew up as an only child, so I was quite mature for my age.’

  ‘Well, that’s good. I’d have been a mess.’ She gave her a wry smile. ‘Your friend sounds fab.’

  ‘She was.’

  Freya met Drew’s eyes. Her face dropped. She reached out and put her hand on Freya’s arm.

  ‘What happened?’

  Freya breathed in deeply. The ocean air, the warm exotic fragrance of the oil on her skin should have soothed her, but her chest felt tight. Memories that she’d tried to bury came bubbling to the surface, threatening to spill in a torrent of upset.

  ‘I’m not really sure, that’s the problem.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, I know what happened – she killed herself. Amber killed herself.’ She swiped angrily at an escaping tear. ‘I just don’t know why she did.’

  ‘Oh my God, that’s awful. I’m so sorry. Did anyone know why?’

  Freya shook her head. ‘She didn’t leave a letter. I think that was the hardest thing. No one had a clue. None of us understood why. You’d think I’d have seen the signs, noticed something. She was my best friend and we’d known each other since we were little. We told each other everything. At least I thought we did. And it’s not like we didn’t talk; we did, loads, although I guess us not living near each other meant we texted loads, maybe we didn’t really speak, you know like the long conversations we had when
we actually saw each other. And when we did speak, I obviously never asked the right questions, or maybe I did but I didn’t dig deep enough. She seemed okay on the outside.’

  ‘That’s the thing though, people who are feeling like that can hide it so well.’

  ‘She seemed so happy.’

  Drew squeezed Freya’s arm tighter. If she was expecting the burden to be lifted through telling Drew about her friend’s death, then she was mistaken. Unlike the feeling straight after the massage, no weight had been lifted. Her chest was still tight and she knew deep down what it was; the fear of getting close to someone again, letting a friend into her life, someone like Drew, or a man, a new romantic relationship scared her as much. An image of Aaron flashed across her mind; the easy way they chatted, the definite flirting, more from him, but she liked it. Yet it tore at her insides that getting close to someone, anyone, would be a bad idea. It wasn’t rejection she feared, but loss. She couldn’t face losing anyone again: her parents to the other side of the world; her best friend to suicide; her boyfriend to cowardice because he couldn’t deal with the messy emotions of grief.

  ‘It must be so hard to try and understand, but you can’t blame yourself.’ Drew’s hand tensed on her arm. ‘Not that I’m suggesting you do or should. Oh God, I hope I haven’t said the wrong thing.’

  Freya smiled and put her hand on top of Drew’s. ‘Don’t worry, you haven’t. And you’re right, I don’t blame myself for her death, but I’ve gone through all the stages of feeling helpless and that I should have done more, and I’ve certainly blamed myself for not seeing just how desperate she must have been.’

  ‘Oh Freya, I’m so sorry. How long ago did it happen?’

  ‘Nearly two years ago.’ Freya nodded slowly. ‘And you’re right about coming here to escape. I needed a change. I needed to leave London despite loving my job. There was this loneliness that had just consumed me...’

  ‘You said about man trouble. So there wasn’t a boyfriend to help you through things?’