You Matter

by Jazzy Mitchell

  “So, you’re not a cat, a pirate, or an ogre. Won’t you at least give me a hint?” Chrissy leans against Reggie’s desk, arms loosely crossed. Reggie leans back in her chair, eyes sparkling.

  “I’m enjoying your guesses. The last one.” Reggie lifts a Post-it off the edge of her desk and hums, twisting a piece of hair around her finger. “You think I could be Belle?”

  “Hell, yes. Or Elsa or Velma or Jasmine or Mary Poppins. It doesn’t matter what you wear.” Chrissy bites the inside of her cheek, holding back the words she wants to say. How beautiful Reggie is. Elegant. Classy. Everything she can never hope to be.

  “I think you’d do much more justice to Elsa than I could.”

  “Nah. I’d do a better job as Olaf. Or Sven.”

  Reggie’s cackle takes them both by surprise. Reggie claps both hands over her mouth, eyes wide. Chrissy lets loose a guffaw, thrilled she was able to break through Reggie’s professional façade. She wants to be the cause of Reggie’s laugh again.

  Reluctant to leave once the workday ends, Chrissy takes her time clearing her desk. When she sees Ashford approach, she frowns. Why is he sniffing around? She doesn’t want him anywhere near Reggie, who’s on the phone anyway. Ashford stops at her desk. “She’s on the phone with a client. Can I help you with something?”

  “Do you know if she’s going to the costume party tomorrow?”

  Chrissy clenches her fists on her lap and sits up. She can hear Reggie setting up an appointment with whoever’s on the other line. “You were invited?”

  Ashford barks out a laugh. “Of course. I’ve been friends with Cathy for years. She’s the one who set me and Reggie up.”

  Although she cannot hear Reggie talking on the phone any longer, Chrissy dares to say, “You do realize you’re no longer together.”

  “That’s a small misunderstanding. One I intend to rectify tomorrow. So, is she going?”

  “Yes, but not with you.” Reggie’s hand on her shoulder comforts Chrissy, and although she knows she’s being petty and unprofessional and way out of line, she bares her teeth in a poor approximation of a smile at Ashford.

  “Can’t we talk about this?”

  “There’s nothing to discuss.” Fatigue shines through Reggie’s voice, and Chrissy wonders whether that’s due to the subject matter or the long workweek.

  “I’ve made it clear I’m no longer interested. If you keep persisting, I’ll have to lodge a complaint with HR, and I really don’t want to do that. You’re a good guy, and you deserve to be with someone who can give you what you want.”

  “That’s the thing. I was being selfish. I realize that now.” Ashford shifts from foot to foot, hands extended toward Reggie. Chrissy wants to slap them away. “Give me another chance.”

  This guy’s a piece of work. He can’t take no for an answer. Chrissy’s insanely curious about why their relationship ended. Reggie’s hand remains on her shoulder, anchoring Chrissy to her chair.

  “I’ve moved on. I suggest you do, too.” Reggie squeezes Chrissy’s shoulder. “I’ll be ready to leave in five minutes. Ben invited me to join the two of you for pizza, if you have no objection.”

  “Of course not.” Chrissy decides Ben’s meddling is a godsend, as Reggie returns to her office.

  “Ben?” Ashford echoes, his face a mask of confusion. “Is he your boyfriend?”

  Chrissy scoffs. “No way.” She smiles. “Have a good night.” After a pronounced silence, he leaves her desk, and Chrissy exhales loudly. What an ass.

  “Ready?”

  Logging off the computer with a few keystrokes, Chrissy retrieves her belongings in record time and jumps up from her chair. “Ready.”

  “Sorry about that. I expected him to give up by now.” They step into the elevator, moving to the side as others join them. The Friday night rush is in full effect, and Chrissy tries not to squirm when she realizes her arm is against the side of Reggie’s breast.

  Once they exit to the parking garage, Chrissy dares to voice her opinion. “Well, I can’t blame him. You’re quite the catch. Too bad for him he was such a blockhead that he didn’t realize it sooner.” Chrissy looks over to see Reggie duck her head. The garage is shadowed, but she swears Reggie’s cheeks have turned a rosy tint.

  “Thank you.” Reggie offers a sincere smile before pulling out her keys to unlock the car. “Ben didn’t tell me where you normally get pizza. He only said you were going to pick it up on the way home.”

  “Right. Let me make sure he already ordered.” Chrissy shoots a text over to Ben, making sure to mention a little heads up would have been appreciated. His smiley emoticons couch the pizza order, and their regular order of pepperoni pizza takes center stage with the addition of a white pizza with sweet Italian sausage. “Seems like we’re all set. You can take the route toward my apartment. It’s just down the street from there. Are you sure you don’t have other plans? I feel like I’m monopolizing your time.”

  They stop at a red light and Reggie glances over at her. “I don’t have other plans. Ben texted me a few minutes before I took that last phone call, and I was coming out to confirm with you when I realized Ashford was taking up space. I hope he didn’t bother you too much.”

  Chrissy shakes her head, wanting to put Reggie at ease. “He didn’t. Actually, I feel bad for the guy. That said, I hope he gives up hounding you.”

  “I was assuming Ben had checked with you about pizza.”

  “Reggie, you’re always welcome to spend time with us. I know it’s a bit tricky with work and everything, but we like spending time with you.”

  “As do I.” A comfortable silence fills the car, and it isn’t until they find parking and step into the pizzeria that Reggie speaks again. “Let me pay.”

  “Absolutely not. You were invited to share pizza with us, not pay for it.”

  “But—“

  “No buts. Just accept it.” She holds Reggie’s glare, watching it soften until she grins and nods. Once they get to the apartment, Ben opens the door with a wide smile. Chrissy scowls at him, pretending to punch him in the stomach. He catches her fist and laughs.

  “You should be thanking me,” he whispers before turning to Reggie. “Hi, Reggie. Glad you could come.”

  “Me, too.” Although she’s only been to the apartment once before, she doesn’t hesitate to remove her coat and hand it to Ben. “Where are the cups?”

  “Cabinet closest to the fridge.” Chrissy grabs some plates and utensils, placing them next to the pizza boxes on the counter. She loads each plate with a piece and brings Ben’s and Reggie’s to the table before returning to retrieve hers and the silverware.

  “I’ve got the napkins,” Ben says while grabbing one of the cups, now filled with water.

  “Oh, there’s a bottle of wine in the lower cabinet,” Chrissy says when Reggie sits down. “Shall I open it?”

  “Maybe later.”

  Ben tells Reggie about the results of his latest test, and before Chrissy realizes it, the pizzas become a fond memory and she’s rising to uncork her most expensive bottle of red wine. She’d received it from Cathy and David for a birthday present, and when she looked it up online, she’d nearly passed out at the price. Pouring two glasses, as Ben and Reggie clean up the area, Chrissy feels giddy. She likes having Reggie in her space. Likes watching her interact with Ben. Likes spending time with her outside of work. Likes her.

  When Reggie catches her eye, raising an eyebrow, Chrissy smiles. Maybe she should feel embarrassed at being caught staring, but she can’t find it in her to care. “Come sit on the couch.” Ben follows and commandeers a nearby chair, content to pull out an Avengers graphic book, long legs crossed at the ankle.

  “Are you coming to David and Cathy’s tomorrow night?” Reggie asks, sitting on the couch and curling up her legs beneath her. Chrissy hands her one of the glasses of wine before settling in the other corner of the couch.

  Ben looks up. “No. I’m going to my friend’s house. Leroy’s having a party. I�
��m going as Spiderman.”

  “That sounds fun, probably better than a bunch of adults dressed up as Broadway musical characters.”

  Ben chuckles. “Mom has an awesome costume. What are you dressing up as?”

  Reggie narrows her eyes at Chrissy. “Did you put him up to this?”

  Chrissy raises her hands in mock-defense. “No way. I didn’t do anything.”

  “Your mom’s been trying to guess my costume all afternoon. If you tell me her costume, I’ll tell you mine.”

  “Don’t you dare,” Chrissy warns Ben.

  With a shrug, Ben says, “Sorry. I have to live with her.”

  Reggie makes a show of snapping her fingers and grimacing. “It was worth a try.”

  “So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Spending it with your family?” Ben asks.

  “Yes. I go to my mom’s house, as do my two sisters, their spouses and children. She lives in Chestnut Hill.” Chrissy wonders what that feels like, spending the day in a noisy house filled with relatives. Growing up, Chrissy learned to be quiet and on her best behavior when people visited. Everyone was much older, and she found herself counting the minutes until the meal was over so she could hide in her room.

  “That sounds cool. Does she cook everything?”

  “She cooks the turkey and a few side dishes. We bring other side dishes and dessert. What about you two?”

  “Oh, nothing too elaborate. Usually we order the food and pick it up. Then all we have to do is heat it up. But I do make a great apple pie.”

  “Mom does make the best apple pie. And usually on the holidays we go see a movie afterward.”

  “It’s tradition,” Chrissy adds. “You’d be surprised how many people go to the movies on the holidays.”

  “You’ll have to save me a piece of pie.”

  “I suppose I could be persuaded.” Chrissy doesn’t mean to make it sound suggestive. Reggie looks intrigued, though, so she swallows back any apologies and waits.

  “Really?” Reggie taps her lips with her index finger. “I’ll have to think about how best to entice you into letting me taste a piece.”

  Gulping down the rest of her wine, Chrissy leans over to refill it. Reggie’s emphasis on her words causes Chrissy’s heart to speed up. With how regularly that happens, she’s surprised she hasn’t suffered a heart attack. “Shall I top you off?” she asks, holding up the bottle.

  “I think I’d like that.” A sly smile crosses Reggie’s face as she extends her glass, and Chrissy takes a deep breath before pouring wine in it. She’s thankful her hand doesn’t shake. It takes a moment for her mind to catch up to what she offered, and when it clicks, her face floods with heat. She bends toward the coffee table and takes her time filling up her glass and placing the half-full bottle down, hoping her blush will fade. What the hell are you doing? Be persuaded? Top her off? Christ! She could easily accuse me of sexual harassment. Swallowing several times while ducking her head, Chrissy’s grateful Ben picks up the conversation.

  “Are your mom and sisters attorneys, too?” he asks.

  “No. Only my dad was. My mom teaches English literature at Northeastern. My oldest sister, Maria, is an architect with Blackman Design Group, and Tracy is an art curator for the Museum of Fine Arts.”

  “Are you artistic, too?” Chrissy asks.

  “Unfortunately, no. I appreciate art, but I didn’t develop any such skills.”

  A thousand cheesy compliments cross Chrissy’s mind. You create art everyday just by being you. Beauty begets beauty. You’re a living masterpiece. “It’s never too late to learn, if that’s what you want to do. Look at me. I didn’t enroll for the paralegal degree until a few years ago.”

  Reggie hums while leaning against the couch arm, both hands wrapped around her wine glass. Her eyes become unfocused as she taps the side of her glass with one finger. “It’s funny. In many ways, I feel like every milestone in my life was predetermined. College. Law school. My firm. All that was laid out for me by my father.”

  “Your father may have set the stage, but you’re the star. You prove your talent every day.”

  “Perhaps, but so do countless other attorneys.”

  Chrissy has to smile, even though the thought of Reggie believing she’s no one special upsets her. She takes Reggie’ hand and squeezes. “No, Reggie. You make a difference. You matter.” Reggie’s eyes start to moisten, and Chrissy changes the subject. “Now if only you’d admit you’re dressing as Elphaba tomorrow night…” Reggie’s laughter is music to Chrissy’s ears.

  ***

  “Ready for your big date?” Ben plunks down on Chrissy’s bed while she adds some mascara to her pale eyelashes.

  “I wish.” Chrissy steps back from the mirror to study her face. “Good enough.”

  “You wish you were ready or wish it was a date?”

  “Both.” She hears a text alert and glances at the clock. “That’s probably her.” Ben’s in his Spiderman costume. “That looks good. Is it comfortable?”

  “Yup. Look—I can even dance.” He starts doing the floss, and Chrissy laughs.

  “Everyone will love it. Maybe even that girl you have a crush on.”

  “Mom,” Ben squawks. He stands with his hands on his hips and an outraged expression on his face, holding the pose for all of five seconds before he giggles. “Have fun. I hope she likes your costume.”

  “Me, too.” Chrissy shuts off the bedroom light and walks toward the door while donning her coat. “Be good tonight. Text me when you get there, so I know you’re safe.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  “Love you too, kid.” Chrissy gives him a quick hug before opening the door and rushing down the stairs. When she gets to Reggie’s car, she slides in the front seat. “Hi.” She fastens the seatbelt.

  “Hi, yourself.” Reggie eases into traffic, and Chrissy smiles. It’s hard for her not to get carried away with romantic notions when they had such a great evening yesterday, and now they’re going to dinner and a party. “How was your day?”

  “Lazy. Well, except for my morning run. I dragged Ben out of bed for that, but once we got back home, we were in slow motion for the rest of the day.” Chrissy chuckles. “We even took a nap since we knew we’d be up late tonight.” She doesn’t usually take naps, but she wants to be at her best while they spend time together.

  “I didn’t know you jog. I never got into it.”

  “Well, you must do something. You’re in great shape.” Chrissy sees Reggie raise an eyebrow and hurries on. “Do you go to a gym?”

  “I use the one at work. I prefer using the machines and some free weights. I have a personal trainer who changes my routine every few months.” She parks the car in a nearby parking garage, and they walk to the restaurant.

  “Damn, it’s cold tonight.” Chrissy shivers, placing her hands in her coat pockets and hunching over.

  “That coat’s too thin. You need to dig out your winter coat.” Reggie loops her arm through Chrissy’s, and they walk together at a brisk pace. Reggie’s warmth seeps through her left side wherever they touch. At least I’m warm now.

  As soon as they reach Gino’s, they’re led to a table next to the front window. Bruno comes over moments later. “Bella! You look beautiful. This cold weather brings out your rosy cheeks. And your friend is back. Welcome. Welcome. Where is your boy?”

  “He’s going to a Halloween party tonight. He was disappointed to miss having dinner here.”

  “Ah, another time. Enjoy your dinner. If you need anything, let me know.”

  Soon they’re sharing a half carafe of red wine while making guesses on what David and Cathy will be wearing for costumes. “They always wear couple costumes.” Reggie stops talking to eat some of her Caesar salad.

  “I’m thinking they’ll wear something from a Disney musical. Hopefully, not Tarzan.”

  Reggie snickers. “Agreed. They’re not that daring. It will be something cute like South Pacific or Oklahoma.”

  Chrissy fini
shes her salad. “My guess is Aladdin or My Fair Lady.”

  Reggie shakes her head. “Cathy would never wear such a revealing outfit for Aladdin. My Fair Lady’s a good guess.” When Chrissy’s phone chimes, Reggie waves her hand. “Go ahead. It might be Ben.”

  Pulling out her cell, Chrissy laughs when she sees the text and passes it over. On it is a picture of Ben in his Spiderman costume, crouched with arms extended as if he’s about to shoot a web. Reggie stares at the image with a soft smile before handing it back. “He’s such a good kid.”

  “Yeah. I lucked out.” Their server arrives with their entrees, and Chrissy does her best not to shove too much in her mouth at one time. The food is as delicious as she remembers. Chrissy chose the chicken piccata this time, while Reggie is having baked eggplant.

  “I’m surprised you never had kids. You’re great with Ben.” Chrissy looks up from her meal, gauging how her words are received. She doesn’t want to make Reggie uncomfortable, but she’s curious.

  “I thought about it, but my relationships were never strong enough for me to want to become a mother, and I didn’t want to do it alone. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it.” Reggie looks down at her plate, pushing around a piece of eggplant.

  “I muddle through.” When Reggie looks up, Chrissy leans forward as if she’s about to reveal a secret. “And I do exactly the opposite of what my parents did.”

  “Ah. The age-old ‘I’ll never be like my parents’ attitude. In this case, it worked.”

  “What about you? You’ve told me you followed in your dad’s footsteps. How was it growing up in a two-parent household with two older sisters?”

  “All the normal things you hear…my sisters were annoyed by me, and I’m a disappointment to my mother. She’s worse every time I see her. Always telling me I’m such a workaholic that I’ll never settle down. My sisters and I are close, so at least they defend me when Mom becomes too vocal about my life choices.” Reggie pops a piece of eggplant in her mouth, thoughtful as she chews. “She was pretty unhappy when I told her I broke up with Ashford. I don’t want to be with him, though. It doesn’t help that whenever a relationship fails with a man, she wonders aloud whether it’s because I’m also attracted to women.” Reggie shakes her head. “I’ve told her a million times it’s the person I’m attracted to, not the sex.”