You Matter

by Jazzy Mitchell

  “Like it?” Reggie repeats. “I love it. I love you.” She looks over to Ben. “Both of you.”

  Chrissy and Ben beam. Any other time they’d be high-fiving.

  “We picked out all the charms, and there’s space to add more,” Ben says, excitement lifting his voice.

  Reggie fingers the gold charm bracelet and each charm. “God! I’ve cried more over the last few days than I have since I was a child,” she grouses, mock-glaring at Chrissy as she wipes away more tears. They all laugh. “If anyone at the firm saw me, it’d ruin my reputation.”

  “This side of you is for us and a few select friends. After all, we don’t want anyone to know what a complete mushball you truly are,” Chrissy teases, happiness filling her. “So, the charms we got, they all mean something. The angel is me. The crown is you for your name—”

  “I thought of that,” Ben interrupts, and Reggie chuckles.

  “Yeah. And the basketball is Ben, the rolling pin for your cooking skills, and the apple because you give me a run for my money when it comes to making the best apple pie in the world.”

  “Please tell me you’re making one today,” Ben says, his best puppy-dog face on display.

  Reggie nods, laughing, and Chrissy joins her, ignoring the pain in her side.

  “Yes!” Ben punches the air.

  “The scales of justice charm are for you being an attorney, and the heart is, well, it represents…” Chrissy looks down, embarrassed.

  “You have her heart,” Ben says, and Chrissy’s not sure whether to thank him or punch him in the arm. She shoots him a dirty look, and he has the good grace to look abashed. “Sorry,” he mutters.

  Fingers tangle with hers, and Chrissy sees Reggie’s special, soul-lighting smile. “Thank you. I will always cherish it.” They gaze lovingly at each other until Ben shifts on the bed. “Will you put it on me?” she asks, extending her arm.

  “Sure.” Chrissy finds the clasp and secures the bracelet on Reggie’s delicate wrist. Reggie’s pulse is racing, and she rubs the area to calm Reggie down. “It looks great.” She’s proud of herself. Proud she’s given Reggie something meaningful.

  “It does,” Reggie says.

  “So, here are my presents to you,” Ben says while rolling his eyes, obviously done with all the sappiness, and pushes his presents toward Reggie and Chrissy.

  Chrissy opens hers and finds a CD of songs Ben compiled. They’re a mixture of songs they both enjoy. The last entry says, “Top Ten Reasons Why You’re the Best Mom Ever.”

  “So, I made the last entry,” Ben explains. “I did it last week. Otherwise I would have added hero.”

  She frowns, but she doesn’t really care. She’s still having trouble accepting how people believe she’s a hero. I bet this will be a hell of a list. Reggie is also holding a CD. “Switch?” she asks, extending her arm with her CD. They swap, and Chrissy reviews the compilation list. It has a mixture of songs Ben likes and several they’ve heard Reggie hum over the last few months. She reads the last entry for Reggie’s CD. It’s titled, “Top Ten Reasons Why You’re the Best Attorney Ever.”

  “Good job,” Chrissy compliments Ben, and he smiles. “Thanks, Ben. I can’t wait to listen to it.”

  “Me, too. Thank you for such a thoughtful gift,” Reggie says. They swap back the CDs, and Chrissy urges Ben to open his other presents while Reggie moves to cuddle into Chrissy’s side. They smirk and chuckle as Ben exclaims over his presents. It’s a wonderful morning, and Chrissy has never felt so much love and comfort surrounding her. This is the best Christmas she’s ever experienced, and she can tell by Ben’s wide grin he feels the same way.

  “Well,” Reggie says apologetically as she rises from the bed. “I should get started on the food. I’ll bring the ice pack up for you and a drink. Do you need anything else?”

  “I was thinking of taking a shower. If you can help me up, I should be okay.” She bites back her request for help in the shower, knowing Reggie will do it but not wanting to take up any more of her time. Being incapacitated sucks. She can handle the pain. What upsets her is how she has to rely on other people to help her. She doesn’t want Ben or Reggie to feel obligated.

  Reggie’s appraising gaze studies her for several seconds. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. What if you slip in the shower or lose your balance?”

  “I need to at least brush my teeth right now, but I can wait until later to take a shower.” Chrissy hopes her seeming acquiescence will sound convincing. She looks away, fingers playing with some discarded wrapping paper.

  “I don’t believe you, M. Kramer,” Reggie says, and Chrissy blushes, knowing she’s caught. “So, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to help you to the bathroom. While you are using it, I will go downstairs to pop a few items in the oven that I prepared last night, retrieve a drink for you, and return here, at which time I will knock on the bathroom door to let you know I am back. Then, I will help you with the shower. You will not give in to that stubborn, mule-headed thinking that you must take care of yourself every moment of every day. You will not take a shower while I’m downstairs. Understood?”

  Chrissy blinks several times. “Okay,” she says, properly cowed. She’s heard Reggie use that tone of voice and formal language with her difficult clients. She doesn’t want to be placed in that category.

  “Christina,” Reggie says, tenderness filling her voice now. “Let me help you. Please. I promise it won’t change my feelings for you. I’m sorry if you’re embarrassed, but it’s more important to me that you’re safe. I’ll do my best not to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  With a large sigh, Chrissy nods. I’m being ridiculous. “I’m sorry, Reggie. Thank you for being so considerate.”

  Ben helps her up from the bed. “I get it, Mom, but don’t worry so much,” he whispers before kissing her cheek. He walks back to the bed and gathers his presents. “I’m gonna go get cleaned up, too.” He exits as Reggie joins her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

  They walk to the bathroom with slow steps, and Chrissy wants to rail at the world. This whole being hurt thing sucks royally.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t do anything idiotic,” Reggie says.

  “Right,” Chrissy mutters, going through the painful process of pulling down her pants and sitting on the toilet. “Ridiculous. Stupid. Pitiful.” She’s not sure whether she is complaining about how incapacitated she feels or her inability to accept the help freely offered.

  After finishing her ablutions, Chrissy feels a thousand times better. At least her teeth don’t feel like moss is growing over them. She hears Reggie enter the bedroom and opens the bathroom door. She knows by the look in Reggie’s eyes that she does not approve of the pain Chrissy’s face must reflect. Although she’d felt pretty good when she first woke up, now she hurts all over.

  “Oh, Chrissy,” Reggie says, reaching forward to hug her. “Why do you insist on being so damn stubborn?”

  Breathing in Reggie’s scent, Chrissy rests her forehead against her shoulder and sighs. “I don’t want you to see me like this,” she whispers.

  She knows she sounds like a broken record, but she’s genuinely mortified at her weakness, at the ugly splashes of blood on her body, at the bruises and scratches and—how can Reggie think of me as a possible lover while viewing me this way? She doesn’t realize she’s crying until strong arms pull her in and gentle fingers comb through her snarled curls.

  “Is it so hard to believe that I love you? That I want to help you? That it kills me to see you in pain? That my feelings will not diminish by viewing wounds you received while protecting Ben and me?”

  Hearing the catch in Reggie’s voice, Chrissy shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I’ve always had to be the strong one, and I’m unfamiliar with trusting anyone.” Taking a deep breath, Chrissy looks up. “I do trust you. I swear. It’s a hard adjustment, knowing I can let down my walls and be seen as weak.”

  “Weak? Christina Kramer, you are n
ot weak. Far from it. And allowing yourself to be vulnerable shows great strength. I promise not to betray your trust.” Reggie brushes soft lips across Chrissy’s mouth, pulling a moan from deep within her. They kiss languidly, tongues slowly rubbing together, emotions high.

  “Reggie,” she whispers. Those delicious lips suck on her chin before sliding to her neck to lick her pulse point. “Oh, my God.” She never understood the phrase ‘toes curling.’ Yet, hers do just that. What an incredibly erotic feeling.

  “When you are feeling better, Christina Kramer, I am going to love you so well that you will always know,” Reggie whispers in her ear. “You will always know that you’re not alone. Will never be alone.” Chrissy shivers, and Reggie nips her ear playfully before pulling back far enough so their eyes can connect. The love she sees shining through darkened eyes convinces her Reggie means every word. Chrissy finally allows herself to accept that Reggie really may love her.

  Chrissy feels lightheaded, and it’s only Reggie’s firm grip which keeps her from falling to the floor. She burrows her head into the crook of Reggie’s neck, breathing her in while she regains her equilibrium. The world shifts under her feet. Reggie really loves me.

  “Are you okay?”

  Pulling back, Chrissy smiles. “Yeah. I need some help getting my clothes off, but before that, I was wondering whether you’d be willing to wash off the blood and iodine from my shoulder and calf.”

  Reggie stares at her for a moment, and Chrissy wonders whether she’s going to question her further. She knows she’s acting weird. “Of course.”

  Chrissy sinks down on a stool near the large mirror, holding her side while Reggie fills the sink with warm water and gathers soap and a washcloth. “Calf first?” Chrissy nods and extends her leg. Reggie kneels before her and places the leg on her knee, pushing up the pant leg.

  Focusing on Reggie’s face, a bubble of emotion pushes against her chest—love so strong she fears she’s going to burst into tears. I’m so damn emotional! Never has she felt this way, these waves of affection and respect and awe and gratefulness. The little furrow between Reggie’s eyebrows which develops while she focuses on cleaning Chrissy’s calf is nearly as attractive as the black glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose when she reads.

  “All done.” Reggie places Chrissy’s leg on the ground. “Now the shoulder.” She grabs a large, fluffy towel. “If you don’t want me to see you, I understand. You can turn around so your back is to me, and wrap the towel around you once I help you remove your T-shirt.”

  “Reggie.” Once she catches Reggie’s gaze, she says, “It’s not that I don’t want you to see me. I mean it is, but not why you might think. I wanted the first time to be when we are, well, when we’re ready to be closer physically. But I’ve been listening to you, and I believe you when you say that it won’t change your feelings for me. So, I don’t need this.” She places her hand over Reggie’s fisted one with the towel in it.

  “Okay.” Reggie looks blown away. And pleased.

  So worth it.

  “Okay,” Reggie repeats. She places the towel back on the rack and slowly lifts the T-shirt up Chrissy’s back and over her head, bunching the material over Chrissy’s forearms. Chrissy allows it to slide completely off, feeling the cool air caress her sides, breasts, and shoulders. Reggie gasps.

  “It’s not that bad,” Chrissy says, fighting not to cover herself. Looking down she can see how the bruising has intensified, black, blue, and purple covering most of her left side. “It looks worse than it feels.” She can hear the falseness of her words and watches Reggie frown.

  “Regardless of how terrible those bruises appear, I have to admit you’re stunning, and I can’t wait to explore every inch of you. Slowly. And thoroughly.” The look in Reggie’s eyes matches the velvety sensuousness of her voice.

  Chrissy barely keeps from swooning. She can’t help but smirk. “That makes two of us.”

  They share a smile, and Chrissy turns on the seat so she’s facing the mirror, allowing Reggie easier access to her shoulder. She watches her through the mirror, studying her look of concentration while she washes her shoulder.

  “All done,” Reggie says a few minutes later, her breath tickling the back of Chrissy’s neck.

  Goosebumps erupt on her arms, and her nipples tighten with Reggie’s proximity. This is not the time to get aroused, she chastises herself. “Well, that didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. Thanks.” Reggie was so careful that she hardly felt any pressure, nothing more than a slight pain closest to the wounds.

  “I hope you realize how much control I’m exercising right now.” Reggie kisses behind Chrissy’s ear before taking the unused towel and placing it closer to the shower with another one before turning the water on. After the temperature is set, Reggie looks at her, eyes dark and head tilted in that seductive way she has. “I think it will be safest if we shower together. I can make sure you don’t twist suddenly or slip.”

  Before Chrissy can begin to feel self-conscious, Reggie unbuttons her pajama top, eyes burning into Chrissy’s, daring her to say something, to stop her. Chrissy has no intention of doing either.

  “Oh, God.” The silk top slides off Reggie’s torso to the floor, the whispering of the material stoking Chrissy’s desire. “You’re beautiful,” she chokes out, glad she’s able to say something, anything to express how breathtaking Reggie is.

  “So are you, Christina.” Reggie allows her pants to pool at her feet and steps out of them. “Let me help you.” She pulls Chrissy into a standing position.

  When Reggie’s warm hands touch her around her waist, their breasts graze, and Chrissy squeezes her eyes closed, moaning Reggie’s name. Reggie’s gentle fingers rub circles on her lower back.

  “Shh, dear. It’s okay.” Reggie rests her forehead on Chrissy’s collarbone. “Let me feel you for a moment.” They stand in each other’s arms, bodies pressed together, breathing in sync, eyes closed.

  A soft kiss above her left breast stirs Chrissy enough to open her eyes and meet an affectionate gaze. She allows her lips to curve up as she skims her hands over Reggie’s toned arms. “If you were looking for a way to compel me to heal faster, you’ve found it.”

  Reggie’s low chuckle washes over Chrissy. “Whatever works. Ready?” With Chrissy’s nod, she wastes no time slipping her fingers inside the elastic band of her flannel pants and sliding them down, using her foot to push them to the floor. Reggie keeps a firm hold on Chrissy’s hips to keep her steady while she steps out of them. When Reggie’s eyes rake over her body a moment later, Chrissy feels it like a physical caress. “God, Christina. I want you so much.”

  “Me, too. Maybe if we’re really careful…”

  “Don’t tempt me. I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt because of my inability to control my libido.” Reggie huffs. “Come on. You in first.”

  Shuffling into the water stream, Chrissy makes sure the water is only hitting the front of her right side. She hopes taking a shower won’t hurt too much, but having wounds all over the place pretty much guarantees this will not be pleasurable. She moves her right leg forward to get it out of the water, glad the spray isn’t too forceful. The warm water feels good, although she’d prefer it to be steaming. She hisses as the water makes contact with some of the bruises sprinkled over her torso. Perhaps Reggie being with her in the shower isn’t such a bad idea. Reggie’s delicious curves crowd her, brushing against her back and buttocks, reminding her of how they’d cuddled throughout the night.

  “Turn around.” Reggie places her hands on Chrissy’s shoulders, guiding her.

  As soon as she turns, their bodies touch, only this time, their entire fronts meld together. Reggie turns Chrissy a bit more so the water isn’t pounding down on the surgical tape and uses a hand under Chrissy’s chin to guide her head under the water. She smells Reggie’s lavender shampoo as strong fingers massage it through her hair. “I’ll have to put new gauze on afterward. These won’t continue to adhere
to your skin after the water gets to them.”

  “Okay.” Chrissy closes her eyes and hums as Reggie’s fingers sift through her hair. “That feels wonderful.” She leans against Reggie, reveling in the caring touches. Reggie rinses out the shampoo and suds up her hair again.

  “You’re gorgeous. I love feeling you against me,” Reggie says, her hands lowering to the back of Chrissy’s neck, her thumbs running behind her ears.

  Gasping, Chrissy’s eyes fly open and are caught by Reggie’s vibrant chocolate ones, as Reggie pushes up on her toes to reach Chrissy’s lips with her own. Chrissy tastes her desire, devotion, and restraint, and she loves Reggie all the more for it. Their lips open and tongues tangle. Chrissy reluctantly allows Reggie to withdraw, but she clutches to Reggie’s hips while she finishes washing and conditioning Chrissy’s hair.

  “I wish I could return the favor,” Chrissy says with regret.

  “I’ll hold you to that once you’re more mobile.” Reggie shampoos her own hair and rinses it, applying conditioner next while Chrissy leans against the tiled wall, outside of the water stream.

  Reggie reaches for a loofah pad and applies shower gel to it. Chrissy can tell she’s uncertain about what to do next, so she turns Reggie around and cups Reggie’s face. “You can touch me. I know we aren’t going to get too carried away, no matter how badly we want to do more, and I trust you.” She kisses Reggie’s cheeks, eyelids, and temples before placing her hand over Reggie’s and guiding the loofah to her breastbone.

  Reggie runs the sponge over her torso, neck, arms, legs, buttocks, and back with careful strokes, but then Reggie pauses. With a smirk, Chrissy widens her stance, the challenge clear. As expected, Reggie lifts her chin before zeroing in on the apex of her legs. Stepping forward, she directs the loofah to Chrissy’s waist, inward over her curls, and finally through swollen folds. Chrissy cannot hold back a guttural moan as a spark of pleasure erupts, and if Reggie’s other hand were not on her lower back, keeping her from wobbling, she wouldn’t be able to remain standing.