You Matter

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You Matter Page 20

by Jazzy Mitchell


  “Maybe you can wait on it.”

  “No. That’s sweet of you to say, but no.” The chef starts to cook, and Chrissy sits back to watch. She smiles at Reggie, glad they’re together.

  Reggie leans over, capturing Chrissy’s attention again. “What about Ben’s father? Have you contacted him?”

  Chrissy shakes her head. “No, and before you ask why, I don’t have a good reason. I mean, I believe Ben has a right to get to know him, but I want to protect him, too.”

  “You know nothing can happen without your approval. A conversation with him will reveal what he wants, if anything.” Reggie rests her hand on Chrissy’s knee. “And if you’re afraid he’ll somehow steal Ben away from you, I can assure you it won’t happen. Ben adores you.”

  It doesn’t surprise her Reggie’s guessed her biggest fear. “Yeah. I know. Sometimes I let my insecurities get the better of me. Maybe I’ll call him this weekend. The longer I put it off, the harder it is.”

  By the time they finish dinner, Chrissy’s pleasantly full. The stress of the past week has fallen away, replaced by Reggie’s smiling eyes and affectionate words. It isn’t until they enter Reggie’s home that a sense of expectation takes hold. Excitement thrums through her, and she flushes when Reggie takes her coat, fingers skimming down her arm.

  Reggie hangs it up and returns to her, a gleam in her eyes. “Would you like something to drink?”

  Chrissy clears her throat. “Sure.”

  She’s wearing a form-fitting camel-colored pantsuit, and although she may not have the curves Reggie does, the way Reggie’s dark eyes run over Chrissy’s body lets her know she likes how the suit showcases her toned frame. She follows Reggie up the stairs to the den, sinking into the leather sofa while Reggie uncorks a bottle of red wine. She brings over two glasses and sits close enough that their knees touch.

  “To us.” Chrissy taps her glass to Reggie’s before sipping the wine. She sighs as the fruity taste bursts in her mouth. “Is it weird that I’m nervous?”

  Taking Chrissy’s glass, Reggie places their drinks on the coffee table and leans in to deliver a short kiss. “Not at all. I’m anxious, too.” She rests a hand on Chrissy’s collarbone. “I’m also dying to touch you.”

  I shouldn’t be nervous. This is Reggie, the woman I love. “I want to touch you, too. I’ve wanted to for a long time.” A pleased expression travels over Reggie’s face like the rising sun, and Chrissy’s lips quirk in response.

  “Is that right?” Reggie moves to straddle her, her skirt riding up her thighs, providing an enticing view. It’s nearly as mesmerizing as the low-cut, blood-red blouse. Her eyes catch sight of a lacy red bra, and Chrissy groans. “I’ve relived that day in the shower too many times to count.” She twirls one of Chrissy’s curls around her finger and grazes her lips up the column of Chrissy’s throat, stalling to suck under her jaw before taking her earlobe in her mouth. It feels exquisite.

  Making a small noise in the back of her throat, Chrissy pulls Reggie closer, wrapping an arm around her lower back while cupping Reggie’s head. Reggie continues to suck on her earlobe, flicking it with her tongue then moving to tongue Chrissy’s ear canal. Chrissy concentrates on every sensation Reggie evokes—as the wet tongue fills her ear, she imagines that tongue filling other places. Heat crawls up her belly and spreads, and her eyes close as a long, needy moan is ripped from her soul.

  “I want to explore every inch of you,” Reggie whispers. “I want to taste and suck and lick and nibble until you can’t remember your name.” She pulls back, and Chrissy gasps at eyes so dilated she can only see a tiny rim of brown. “I’m going to love you so well you’ll never doubt how much I love you, how much I need you, how much you matter to me.” When she swoops in to deliver another devastating kiss, Chrissy can do nothing but capitulate to her passion.

  Chrissy’s hands slide up Reggie’s thighs, stalling on the garters before continuing to shapely hips. She feels lace under her fingers and toys with the edge of the material. Reggie’s gasp is swallowed, their tongues rubbing against each other. Chrissy’s thumb traces the seam of Reggie’s sex through her panties, groaning at the wetness. Reggie jolts against her, and Chrissy continues to move her thumb in whimsical patterns.

  “Shit. You’re driving me crazy,” Reggie mutters, her trembling fingers unbuttoning Chrissy’s shirt. Chrissy slips her hand inside Reggie’s panties and poses two fingers at Reggie’s entrance. “Yes,” Reggie hisses, and Chrissy enters her, mewling at the delicious sensation of sinking into wet heat.

  Reggie finishes unbuttoning Chrissy’s shirt and pushes the cups of her bra up so she can suck on a nipple. Chrissy feels the edge of teeth, the dichotomy of pleasure and pain driving her higher. Reggie switches to the other breast, and Chrissy whines when she squeezes the abandoned nipple with her fingers.

  Their bodies are close and hot and gyrating, and Chrissy pushes with her hips while entering Reggie again. She hooks her fingers inside her, loving the sounds it pulls from Reggie each time she meets Chrissy’s thrusting fingers. She needs to make Reggie gasp and moan and whimper.

  “You’re so sexy. I love listening to you.” All Chrissy can focus on is how her fingers are being swallowed, slickness making the most obscene, addictive sounds. Reggie’s body moves faster, jerking each time Chrissy’s fingers connect with her G-spot.

  “I want to touch you,” Reggie says. “I need to.”

  “Baby, we have all night. Concentrate on you.” Chrissy tries to unbutton Reggie’s shirt with one hand and growls with frustration. “Unless you don’t mind having your shirt ripped, I suggest you take it off.”

  With a dirty chuckle that pushes Chrissy’s arousal higher, Reggie parts her shirt and unclasps the front of her bra. Chrissy angles her head and sucks on Reggie’s breast, running her tongue around the hard point of her nipple. She speeds up her movements and rubs her thumb over Reggie’s clit, knowing this will push her over the edge. With a shout, Reggie’s body jerks, her back curving and eyes closing as she bears down on Chrissy’s fingers. Reggie looks glorious with her flushed cheeks, the peaks and valleys of her body begging Chrissy to explore. Chrissy’s fingers feel the pull of inner walls squeezing, and as Reggie slows to a sensual roll, Chrissy rubs her thumb over the extended clit with slow strokes to prolong her pleasure.

  Chrissy’s body is like a live wire, but she ignores it, keeping her attention on Reggie. Reggie rests her head on Chrissy’s shoulder, panting. Her hair is a just-been-fucked mess, and Chrissy loves it. She kisses the side of Reggie’s neck and runs her tongue over the same path, enjoying the slightly salty taste.

  “You have entirely derailed my plans.” Reggie sits up, hands resting on Chrissy’s shoulders. “I had every intention of ravishing you.” She shifts, and Chrissy takes the hint to remove her fingers. “Come with me. I want to spread you out and take my time.” Reggie removes her skirt and blouse before retrieving their wine and sashaying out the door in her lingerie. Chrissy doesn’t hesitate to follow.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Standing next to her bedroom window, Chrissy shivers as coldness seeps into her. Her bare feet are freezing against the hardwood floor. Peering outside, she can barely make out a blanket of snow covering the street, unsullied by footprints or tires or plows. It’s dark outside. Sleet hits the window pane, and it looks bad enough for school to be cancelled. No way will Ben have school. Her room is filled with shadows, making her wonder what time it is. Grabbing her charging cell phone, she reads 4:36 AM. They’ve known about the incoming Nor’easter for days, and Hawk suggested yesterday for her to make it a long weekend if the storm didn’t blow out to sea.

  It’s too early for the news outlets to read the list of cancellations, but information may be posted on the school’s website. When she was in school, she had to wait for the radio or television announcers to read the list. She’d never heard of half the towns, but she learned pretty quickly when to pay special attention. She always perked up after hearing Cambridge, knowing her
city would be mentioned soon.

  Hopping from foot to foot while searching in the sock drawer, she’s quick to don heavy wool socks before grabbing a sweatshirt and shuffling into the living room. Without bothering to turn on any lights, Chrissy makes her way to the kitchen and turns on the coffeemaker, a large yawn cracking her jaw. Then, she sinks onto the couch and boots up her laptop, logging on. No school. With a sigh she pulls a blanket over her lap, tucks her feet into it, and leans against the arm of the couch. She wishes she was the type of person who can go back to sleep after waking. Unless she’s awakened by her amorous girlfriend for a round of lovemaking. Then she’s able to fall into a deep sleep afterward.

  They’ve only managed to have sleepovers a few times since Chrissy’s ribs healed, but each time is a memory she cherishes. Pulling out her phone, she types out a text to Reggie. Happy Friday. I won’t be going to the firm today. Ben has no school. She’s surprised when her phone rings. “Morning,” she answers, her face breaking into a smile.

  “Good morning, love. I’m staying home, too. I’m surprised you’re awake so early.”

  “Maybe my bed is too cold and lonely.”

  “That sounds like my bed, and the reason why I’m awake.” Reggie’s words comfort Chrissy. Reggie takes care to let her know how much she loves her as often as possible. Chrissy still struggles to believe it, but she’s trying. “Perhaps once the roads clear I can come over.”

  “I’d love that. I went food shopping yesterday, so we won’t starve.” The day’s looking better by the minute.

  “Great. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to come over.”

  “Okay. Talk to you soon.” Once Reggie disconnects the call, Chrissy rests her cell phone on the coffee table and turns the television on with the volume at a low hum. Rising to pour her first coffee of the day, Chrissy resituates herself on the couch and allows her thoughts to turn to two days ago when she called Jeff. It wasn’t as terrible as she feared. She chose to call him when Ben wasn’t home.

  “I’m glad you called. After I saw the article on the shooting, I wanted to reconnect.” Jeff’s voice sounds different, deeper than it was on the voicemail.

  “Yeah, well, I was surprised to get your messages. I was out of the office, and it’s taken some time to get back into a regular schedule.”

  “I read you got hurt. I’m glad you’re okay. And I read that, um, our son was there. Ben, is it?” Chrissy wonders how he knows Ben’s name, but before she can question it, he hurries on. “I’m glad he didn’t get hurt. You were really brave, but that doesn’t surprise me. You were always a daredevil.”

  “It had nothing to do with being a daredevil. I had to protect them.”

  “I just mean you were a badass, and it’s no surprise you still are. Anyway, I bumped into your mom at my dad’s funeral, and I was shocked you hadn’t kept in touch with your parents. You were always such a homebody.”

  “Homebody. What do you mean?”

  “You know. You preferred to stay home instead of going out. So, when I saw your mom, of course I asked about you.”

  Chrissy remembers how he used to complain when she didn’t want to go to drinking parties late at night. She’d never seen the attraction of getting drunk or high, though. Even though it feels like he’s criticizing her, she takes a deep breath and lets it go. “I’m sorry about your dad.” She doesn’t remember much about his parents, other than that they encouraged Jeff to go away to college, even after they learned Chrissy was pregnant.

  “Thanks. So, I got to thinking. I was hoping we could meet up the next time I’m in town. I’m a mechanical engineer, and I’m going to be working on a project in Boston. I’d love to meet Ben, but if you want to meet with me first, that’s fine.”

  “I’m not sure. It’s been fifteen years. I don’t know whether it’s such a good idea for me or Ben.” Five minutes on the phone, and he’s already getting on her nerves.

  “Come on, Tina. Let’s just talk.” That hasn’t changed. He always used to wheedle her into doing things she didn’t really want to do. “We can meet for lunch or a quick drink after work. Whatever’s easier. And if that works out, maybe I can meet Ben.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Look. I’ll be in town March twenty-second through the twenty-sixth. I’ll contact you then. Okay?”

  Chrissy sighs. “I guess.”

  “Talk to you then. Bye.”

  Between that conversation and her mother’s increasing pressure to meet, Chrissy is overwhelmed and conflicted. It took a long time to rebuild her life. Once she was thrown out of her home, she went straight to Jeff, but he broke up with her when she told him she was pregnant, and he ignored her whenever she tried to reach out. It became easier for him to ignore her once she began to show and had to enroll in online schooling. He no longer had to worry about seeing her in the halls. It’s easier to ignore someone you never see.

  She convinced herself it was better not to be at school. She needed to make more money to save for baby expenses, and management at her part-time Marshalls job offered to convert her to full-time status so she could have health insurance. Her work family even gave her a baby shower. Standing for hours was problematic later in the pregnancy, but overall the job was steady. She was able to save enough money to rent a studio apartment after two months of couch-surfing at her best friend’s house.

  She lost touch with Crystal once she started college, and they eventually drifted apart. That was pretty much the story for all her high school friendships. They didn’t have a baby, and she wasn’t applying to colleges or figuring out what job to get after graduation. Conversations became stilted. Chrissy didn’t want to spend money on movies or fast food. She needed to provide for Ben. She saw the divide become wider with each interaction, but she was helpless to build any bridges to cross it. So she stopped trying.

  Hearing Ben’s door open, Chrissy looks over the back of the couch and shoots a smile at him. He drags himself over and plops down beside her. “No school?”

  “No school.” She runs her hand through his messy mop of hair, and he tilts onto her shoulder, cuddling into her side. “You can go back to bed.”

  “Here’s good.”

  She nods, focusing on the television. The weatherman is on, and she reaches for the remote, jostling Ben, who groans. “Sorry.” She turns up the volume, watching the meteorologist point at the graphics on the screen.

  “The storm is winding down, as you can see from the numbers.” The screen switches to the news anchor. “Boston has declared a snow emergency, so don’t forget to get your car off the major roads. Otherwise, they’ll be ticketed and towed. If you need a list of parking lots and garages with discounted parking, take a look at our website for details.”

  She looks down at Ben, whose eyes are closed. “Are you hungry?” He grunts. “I can make us some eggs, if you let me up.”

  “Not yet.” He curls into her more, making Chrissy chuckle. He acts much younger in these moments. She wraps an arm around him and sighs, changing the channel to an old movie she hasn’t seen in years.

  “Mom?”

  It takes a moment for Chrissy to understand what’s happening. Ben’s voice sounds far away, but she feels him shaking her shoulder. Her eyes flutter open, and she sees Ben with her phone in his hand.

  “What?”

  “Your phone. Reggie’s calling.”

  “Oh.” She takes it and answers the call. “Hi.”

  “Were you sleeping?”

  “Do I sound that bad? I must have dozed off while we watched a movie.” Chrissy sits up, shooting a smile at Ben. He gets up and stretches, his arms wide. Once he wanders off, she turns off the television. The room is much brighter. Glancing at her computer, she’s surprised by the time. It’s nearly ten.

  “You sound sexy as hell, and I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Me, too.” Chrissy strolls to the window and parts the curtains to look outside. “Looks like they’ve cleared the roads, but the parking ban may
still be in effect.”

  “I’m going to take the T. I’ll see you in about an hour, ready to have you warm me up.”

  “Can’t wait.” Chrissy takes a quick shower and tidies up the apartment while she waits for Reggie to arrive. She looks around her bedroom, stalling on the newest framed photographs she hung on the walls. A picture of her with Ben and Reggie taken at the Freedmans’ house last month brings a smile to her face. It’s hard to believe she has a wonderful girlfriend, loving son, and close friends. How did I create this life?

  It’s been a long time coming. It’s as if she’s finally living her life instead of merely doing her best to get through each day. She has love and laughter and a feeling of belonging now. Pride in her job. Anticipation of what will happen next. Even her fractured relationship with her parents has potential. She walks out of her room in jeans and a light blue cable-knit sweater.

  “Mom, can I go ice skating with Billy at Frog Pond?”

  “Reggie’s going to be here. When were you thinking?”

  “Not for at least another hour. He has to finish shoveling.”

  “Bet you’re glad we rent now, huh?” Chrissy jokes. “Sure. Make sure you bring your cell so I can reach you.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” He looks down at his phone while typing furiously.

  She puts some water on the stove. Reggie will want something warm. She hears her cell phone ping and pulls it from her back pocket.

  Reggie has sent a text. I’m getting off the T now.

  “I’ll be right back,” Chrissy says, slipping on her boots. “Turn off the water if it starts to boil.”

  She grabs her coat and keys, jogging down the stairs and exiting the building. The instant wall of cold takes her breath away. She zips up her coat, fingers fumbling. It’s fucking freezing. She shivers, pulling her hat out of her pocket and donning it on her head before pulling on her gloves. The wind gusts are strong enough to make the wind chill feel like ten below zero. She bends over as she walks in a futile attempt to avoid the worst of the wind. By the time Chrissy spots Reggie, she makes a good impression of an icicle.

 

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