You Matter

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You Matter Page 19

by Jazzy Mitchell


  “Me, too. But I’m more afraid of what my life would be like without you in it.”

  For the first time in a week, Chrissy relaxes. She hadn’t realized how stiff her shoulders were or how tight her jaw felt. With a deep, cleansing breath, a giant weight lifts from her chest, and as she gazes at Reggie, she allows herself a small smile. “Okay.”

  Reggie’s reaction is unexpected. She drops her fork and covers her face with her hands, shoulders starting to shake.

  Chrissy pulls Reggie into her arms, fingers sifting through her hair. She’s only seen Reggie cry a handful of times, but the catalyst seems to be relief after a scare. It reassures Chrissy in a way Reggie’s apology can’t by showing her how strong Reggie’s feelings are for her. “We’re okay.”

  Reggie’s arms wrap around her waist, her head burrowing into her chest, as she calms down. Soon Chrissy hears her sniffling, and she pulls away enough to capture Reggie’s reddened eyes.

  “I know you’re sorry. I believe you when you say you trust me.” Chrissy delivers a kiss on Reggie’s head before sitting. Her ribs ache, and now that they’ve cleared the air, Chrissy finds the food’s aroma much more enticing. She takes a mouthful of the chicken, closing her eyes, as she enjoys the warm spices. She opens her eyes to find Reggie’s hungry gaze focused on her, and Chrissy feels a familiar heat in her belly.

  “How are your ribs?” Reggie drinks her tea, her hand trembling.

  “Better. They’re still sore, but I’m getting stronger each day. I’ve been taking daily walks and resting.” She takes another bite, but it’s Reggie’s dilated pupils which capture her attention. “Thanks for bringing the food. You know how much I love it.”

  “I figured I had a better shot at getting you to let me through the door if I brought it.”

  Chrissy doesn’t know whether to feel insulted, but Reggie’s smile softens the barb. They finish their meal and move to the couch, sinking into each other as if they’ve done so a thousand times before. Reggie plays with Chrissy’s fingers, outlining each one. After a few minutes, she interlaces their fingers and rests them on her lap.

  “The house isn’t the same without you.”

  Nodding, Chrissy has to admit she misses being there. “I’ve missed having you close by. I’m betting that working in Hawk’s division is going to be a tough transition.”

  “When are you thinking of going back?”

  Chrissy stares at their hands. “Maybe the week after next, if I can navigate stairs without feeling any pain. The subway steps are the worst.” She doesn’t say more, not wanting to point out when she last traversed them.

  “Well, we’ll figure out when we can see each other at work. Maybe we can meet for lunch a few times a week.” She hesitates, and Chrissy can see she’s choosing her words with care. “Can I see you again this week? I’m on trial starting Thursday, but maybe we can go out for dinner on Friday or Saturday night? Ben’s invited, too, if he’s around.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Reggie beams at her, and Chrissy basks in her happiness, glad they’re moving forward. Reggie’s smile fades, replaced by a pensive look. “Jeff called the firm today. He said he hadn’t heard from you and wanted to make sure you received the original message. He’s in town for a few more days, and he wanted to meet with you, if possible.”

  “Oh.” Chrissy’s mind begins to race. Did Reggie come here only because she realized I was telling the truth? Would she be here if she didn’t speak to Jeff today? This is like my mom getting validation from her priest. Is she able to trust me now only because Jeff confirmed I didn’t contact him?

  “I can see you’re thinking the worst. I promise you, I was planning on coming here today. Gino’s isn’t open for lunch. I called Bruno last night to ask him to make an exception. You can speak to him to confirm, if it makes you feel better.”

  Feeling contrite, Chrissy nods. “I’m sorry. Here you’ve promised to trust me, yet I’ve immediately jumped to conclusions.” She runs her hand through her hair, ignoring the slight pain in her ribs for the moment. “I’m going to call Jeff. I hope you can understand. I want to know why he’s trying to talk to me after all this time. That doesn’t mean it will go any further. Ben’s not sure he wants to meet him, and I’m not sure I want to, either.”

  “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned. Will you please keep me in the loop? I’ll support whatever decision you make.” Reggie keeps her eyes on their clasped hands, rubbing Chrissy’s knuckles with her thumb. She looks up when Chrissy squeezes her hand.

  “I want to be able to talk about it with you. And that’s unusual for me. I haven’t really confided in anyone before.” The soft smile Chrissy receives makes the risk of being vulnerable worth it.

  Reggie pushes some of Chrissy’s curls behind her ear, stalling on her cheek. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

  “Come here,” Chrissy says, pulling her forward. Reggie leans in, tilting her head so their lips can touch. Chrissy sighs. She’s missed this. Her eyes flutter closed, all thoughts blanking out as sensation overtakes her. Reggie is careful with her, soft and slow, and Chrissy feels cherished. Reggie pulls back to rest an ear over Chrissy’s racing heart, one arm sliding around her lower back. Chrissy runs her fingers through Reggie’s hair. She can imagine a future with these types of intimacies, can imagine the casual touches and companionable silences and chaste kisses. She wants it, can taste it, needs it.

  “I wish I didn’t have to return to the office. This week has been difficult. It looks like nothing happened, but every time I see my office, I remember the shooting.” Reggie shivers, and she tightens her hold. “And on top of that, you’re not there, and I was afraid we wouldn’t get past this.”

  “It was just a fight. One of many, I’m sure. We’re navigating a totally different relationship, and we’re bound to make mistakes.” Chrissy looks into Reggie’s upturned face. “Please promise me you’ll talk to me when you’re feeling unsure of us. I promise I’ll do my best to communicate better.”

  “I promise. I love you.”

  Chrissy smiles. “I love you, too.” Their lips meet once more. “Once I’m working again, I’ll come to your office so we can replace my last time there with better memories. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  ***

  For the next three weeks Chrissy and Reggie talk each day, and they’re able to see each other several times for lunch and dinner. Today Chrissy is finally able to return to work, and she’s nervous and excited. She makes her way to the forty-third floor, where Hawk’s division is housed, eyes darting around as she follows the main hallway. It has several small offices branching off before leading into a large atrium. Although the setup is similar to Reggie’s division, the paralegal’s desk is against the right wall, closer to his office. On the left side are two levels of lateral file cabinets, a workstation with office supplies and a printer, and an industrial free-standing copier. Against the far wall are visitor chairs and side tables where several magazines are available. A red-haired man in jeans and a black pin-striped Oxford shirt exits Hawk’s office, files in his hands.

  He stops when he notices Chrissy, and a smile lights up his face. “Are you Chrissy?”

  “Yes.” Chrissy pauses at the empty desk in front of Hawk’s office. “I’m sorry. I don’t know you.”

  “Oh.” He shifts the files to his left hand and sticks out his right one. “I’m Jerry Taylor. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I do some title rundown stuff for Mr. Hawk. He mentioned you’d be starting today. How are you feeling?”

  Raising her eyebrows at his steady stream of words, Chrissy shakes his hand. “I’m much better. Thanks. Sounds like I’ll be seeing you around.”

  “Yup. Glad you’re feeling better. What you did was incredible. I hear the guy’s in lockdown for a ninety-day psych eval. That’s normal for these types of things. Anyway, I have a friend who works there, and she says the guy knew what he was doing, so he’ll get put away for a good long time. See ya aroun
d.” He saunters off.

  Chrissy watches him leave, wondering what just happened.

  “I see you’ve met our whirlwind title researcher. He’s always like that,” Hawk says, walking over. He’s wearing an olive-colored three-piece suit with shiny black shoes. He stares at her, and Chrissy gets the distinct impression he’s evaluating her. She’s glad she wore one of her dressier outfits—a slate-gray skirt suit with a maroon blouse. “Ready to start your new adventure?”

  “Yes. I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Good. You’ll be sitting here.” He waves toward the paralegal desk nearby. “Get settled. I’m sure you’ll be on the phone with IT most of the morning switching over your permissions to this division and to the printers and scanners and whatever else you need. Let me know if you need anything from me. Phaedra left some helpful lists in the top drawer. I’m thinking we can go over my active files this afternoon.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Chrissy grins. She’s looking forward to getting up to speed. Hawk is a real estate attorney, specializing in commercial transactions. He was part of Chinatown’s redistricting zones and the sale of several Copley Place businesses. She has a steep learning curve ahead of her, but it doesn’t scare her. She has a feeling Hawk will do his best to mentor her.

  Once seated at her new desk, Chrissy takes inventory. The top drawers have various supplies for taking notes and organizing files. The bottom file drawers have empty hanging folders Chrissy’s sure she’ll be filling up soon. She has some office procedural files at her old desk she’ll want to transfer over—manuals on how to navigate the telephone system and the computer servers. She also has several self-made lists of contacts for services needed within the legal industry. Although her digital lists will transfer over once she can get online, she also uses hardcopies. She’s glad to see the list Hawk mentioned, filled with contact information for real estate services.

  Chrissy spends the morning getting set up. It isn’t until a bag is plopped in front of her that she realizes she’s missed lunch. Looking up, she’s thrilled to see Reggie’s smiling face.

  “I knew you’d forget to take a break. Are you in the middle of something?”

  “Nope. I finished right before you arrived. Good timing.” Reggie pulls up a chair and unpacks the bag. She hands a to-go container over, and Chrissy realizes how hungry she is when she smells the cheesesteak. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” They eat in companionable silence, and Chrissy welcomes the time to decompress. “I see Ben has a game Wednesday night. I’m hoping to go, if that’s okay.”

  “Of course. Ben will be thrilled. We can go together from here.” She loves how Reggie continues to take an interest in his life. “I’ll let him know tonight.”

  “I have to get ready for court,” Reggie says a few minutes later. She squeezes Chrissy’s hand. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Okay. Thanks for lunch. What’s the name of your new paralegal?” Chrissy clears the lunch detritus from her desk and rises to throw it in a nearby trash barrel.

  “Marie.”

  “Please let her know I’m going to be swinging by to get the files I had in the desk.”

  “I will.” With that Reggie leaves, her sweet perfume lingering in the air.

  A young woman with long, dark hair and large, square eyeglasses approaches. “Hi. My name’s Eileen. I work on the fortieth floor.” Reggie’s floor. “I wanted to thank you for what you did. I was so scared. If you weren’t there, he might have shot me. You’re a hero, and I want you to know we all think so.”

  Chrissy shakes her head. “I’m no hero. I was stupid to get in his way, and I’m lucky to still be alive. I’m glad you’re okay, though.”

  “You can downplay it all you want, but you saved a lot of people and got hurt in the process. Anyway, I’ll see you around.”

  “Yeah. It was nice to meet you, Eileen. See you.” Chrissy watches the woman walk away, nonplussed.

  By the time Friday afternoon arrives, Chrissy is embarrassed by the number of coworkers who have approached her with similar messages. She isn’t sure how to deal with her newfound popularity. Her desk phone rings, and Chrissy see’s Reggie’s extension flashing. “Hello, Attorney Esposito. How may I help you?” She hears that husky chuckle she loves.

  “I can think of several ways.”

  She shivers, taking a quick peek behind her. Hawk is on his phone. “Is that so? Care to elaborate?”

  Reggie hums. “I will as soon as I get you alone. In the meantime, are you ready to leave?”

  “I’m logging off now. Meet you at the entrance to the parking garage?”

  “See you soon.” Reggie hangs up, and Chrissy gathers her belongings, including a small overnight bag, before donning her coat.

  She catches Hawk’s eye and waves. After one week of working for him, she feels like she’s completed a crash course in real estate law. She’s taken copious notes on the process of working a real estate transaction. This week they’ve worked on residential transactions, and Chrissy is astounded by all the details involved. Next week, Hawk’s going to show her what a commercial file entails.

  Once the elevator arrives, Chrissy moves inside, her heart speeding up at the thought of seeing Reggie. She exits the elevator and sees her leaning against the wall, eyes on her phone, scrolling. Chrissy walks over, a smile blooming as her beloved mocha eyes light up.

  “Hi.” Chrissy kisses Reggie’s cheek.

  “Hi, yourself.” Reggie tucks her phone in her pocket and turns toward the parked cars. “Ready?”

  “I am. If you don’t mind, I’d like to call Ben from the car. Make sure he got to Ryan’s okay.”

  “I don’t mind. He did great at Wednesday’s game.” Reggie unlocks the car, and they get settled before she begins to navigate the parking garage.

  “I know. He was surprised he got to play at all. He’s finally putting all that extra energy he has to good use.” Chrissy calls Ben. He picks up on the second ring. “Hey, kid. You get there okay?”

  “Yup. His dad’s bringing home some pizzas. We’re hanging out.”

  “Good. Reggie and I are going to dinner. If you need anything, call me.”

  “I’ll be fine. Have fun. You deserve it.” A sound in the background precedes Ben saying, “Pizza’s here.”

  “Try to leave some for them. Love you.”

  “Love you, too. And Reggie. Bye.”

  “He sends his love,” Chrissy says. “Where are we going?”

  “To Revere. There’s a teppanyaki place I think you’ll enjoy. They cook the food in front of you.”

  “Yum.” Chrissy moves her hand over to cover Reggie’s resting on the console between them. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight.”

  With Ben over at Ryan’s house, she can stay with Reggie, can feel her arms holding her throughout the night. They haven’t slept together since New Year’s Eve, an entire month, and Chrissy is desperate for the closeness. Even more exciting is the possibility of their making love. Her ribs have healed enough for her to begin jogging again, and the bruising has faded to a small cluster of yellow and green.

  Once they arrive, Reggie turns in her seat, holding Chrissy’s hand. “I’m tempted to whisk you back home so I can have you all to myself, but I also want you well-fed.” She smirks, eyes making a slow progression down Chrissy’s form before returning to her eyes.

  “Why do I feel like I’m dinner?” Chrissy can see the promise in Reggie’s eyes, and Chrissy’s thoughts jump to the first time she saw her beautiful nude form when they showered together at Christmas.

  “More like the best dessert I’ll ever eat.” With a wolfish smile, Reggie delivers a hard kiss, taking advantage of Chrissy’s gasp to enter her mouth and explore it for several glorious moments. By the time she breaks the kiss and pulls out her lipstick, Chrissy’s sitting with a dazed smile, doing her best to regulate her breathing. Reggie finishes applying a new coat of lipstick before turning to Chrissy, her eyes softening. She re
aches out to wipe off some lipstick from Chrissy’s lips. “Come on, dear. I’m starving.”

  “Me, too,” Chrissy murmurs. Reggie’s chuckle stirs her, and she pulls herself together enough to follow.

  “You don’t play fair, lady,” Chrissy says once she catches up. She guides Reggie forward, one hand on her lower back, and once they’re led to seats at one of the hibachi stations, helps her remove her coat. Three other couples are already seated, and a server takes their order before the cook rolls a rack of ingredients over to them. Chrissy gets the Hibachi shrimp, while Reggie orders the Teriyaki chicken. They are given salads with ginger dressing and bowls of miso soup.

  “How are things going with your parents?”

  “Okay. Mom gets pushy sometimes about meeting Ben, but that’s to be expected, I guess. She told me Dad may be retiring this year. Also, she may have to switch to a different real estate brokerage since the one she’s at may be closing.” She found out through their conversations that her mom became an office manager at a local brokerage about ten years ago.

  “Are you talking to your father?”

  Chrissy takes a sip of her white wine. “I talked to him last night. It was tough. He’s never been a big talker, and with everything that’s happened, I wasn’t sure what to say. He asked about Ben and work.” Chrissy shrugs.

  “How are you feeling about all this?” Reggie chews some of her salad.

  “I want to reconcile with them, but it’s hard to know whether I can trust them. And I have no idea how they’ll react when I tell them about you.” Chrissy leans in. “If it’s a choice between them and you, I’d rather not have them in my life.”

  “You shouldn’t have to make that choice.” Reggie’s gaze softens.

  “I know, but it’s a possibility. That’s one of the reasons I haven’t let them meet Ben. I need to know what their reactions are to you, to us, before I introduce them.” Chrissy eats more of her salad, her mind turning over all her interactions with her parents since they got back in touch. “I’m planning on bringing you up soon. We’ve talked about you a few times in relation to work and the shooting, but not about our relationship.” She takes a deep breath and exhales. “I’m scared because if they act anywhere near the way they did when they found out I was pregnant, then that will be the end of our relationship.”

 

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