Ignite

by Kinley Cole

  THE BRIGHT SUN SHONE through the blinds of my bedroom, waking me. I turned to find Jason sleeping soundly, the sunlight stretching across his bare chest, his dark hair a complete mess I wanted nothing more than to tangle my fingers in.

  I’m in love with him. The realization hit me with the force of a tidal wave. This is the man I want to wake up to every morning from this day forward.

  Sneaking out of bed, I slipped into my fluffy pink slippers and threw my hair into a big, messy topknot, then headed down the hallway toward the kitchen. I set up the coffee pot to brew, then sought out the box of pancake mix I knew I’d bought, with every intention of cooking Jason and Luxe a decent breakfast while I enjoyed my first cup of caffeinated heaven.

  Warm breath graced the nape of my neck, startling me, and Jason’s fingertips traced down the bare skin of my neck, all the way to my arm, causing goosebumps to rise in its wake.

  “Good morning, pretty lady. You’re up awfully early.” His voice was raspy from just waking up, and it did something to my insides.

  I flipped one of the pancakes over, then turned to face him. He drank me in from head to toe, his gaze finally focusing on my eyes. I’d realized I was still in pajamas, hair tousled, no makeup, and had splatters of pancake mix on my t-shirt. I was a complete mess, yet the way he looked at me made me feel like I was dressed in my best.

  “Good morning to you, too, handsome. I know, I woke up before my alarm even went off.” I smiled coyly.

  A moment of comfortable silence came over us, but Jason’s face slowly shadowed into a more serious expression. “Can I ask you something?” His voice softened, but his gaze grew stronger.

  “Isn’t that what you just did?” I winked, turning to face the stove again, afraid the pancakes would burn if I got distracted for much longer.

  “Cracking jokes at this early hour, I see?” Jason’s hand gripped my hips again and he nibbled at my sensitive earlobe, causing a soft giggle to escape me as I tilted my head, shooing him away.

  “Okay, okay, my bad. I’m going to burn breakfast if you don’t stop. What’s the question?” I turned the stove off, facing him again.

  His hand reached out to my cheek, and he brushed his palm against it lightly before pulling me in for a kiss. Resting his forehead to mine, I could tell he was trying to muster up the courage to speak.

  “What is it?” I whispered, concern bubbling within me.

  “I love you, Leah.” He cupped my cheeks in his hands and stared deeply into my eyes. “I want you, all of you, and I want Luxe, too. I want us.”

  You could have knocked me over with a feather.

  “I want to be with you. To take this to the next level,” he continued. “I love Luxe as if he was my own son, and I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else before. I can’t even begin to imagine a life without you or Luxe in it, and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to.”

  My breath caught in my throat, and I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. I could feel tears of happiness brimming my eyelids. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about it, but I felt the same way about him, too.

  That feeling created vulnerability, though, and I hated it. I trusted Jason, but I’d once trusted Zach as well. I wouldn’t be able to handle another heartbreak.

  Jason must have seen the uncertainty in my eyes. “We can take it slowly,” he promised. “Just one step at a time, I’m okay with that. But, I want to be with you in every sense of the word, Leah, no matter how long it takes us. I’m in this with you and Luxe one hundred percent, okay?”

  The man exuded confidence in every word he spoke, and I had no doubt in my heart or my mind that he meant everything he said. I inhaled deeply, slowly and softly pressing my lips to his before responding. “I want the same, Jason. I do. Just...one step at a time. I can’t go through another heartbreak any time soon.”

  “You won’t have to, Leah. Mark my words, I will never break your heart.”

  A loud, exaggerated yawn pulled me out of the moment, and both Jason and I turned to see Luxe, stretching his arms above his curly red bedhead.

  “Good morning, Spidey!” Jason ducked down to scoop him up, throwing him up in the air and catching him, much to Luxe’s amusement.

  “Morning, Superman.” The boy’s voice was still thick with sleep. He reached his arms out toward me and I took him from Jason, earning myself a bear hug and kiss on the cheek.

  “Morning, Mommy.” He rested his head on my shoulder, still groggy.

  “Good morning, buddy. Ready for some pancakes, eggs, and bacon?”

  Luxe’s head shot up and he looked at me with wide eyes. “Yep!” I lowered him to the floor, and he ran to the table without another word. Heck, you’d have thought I rarely fed the poor boy.

  Jason dished up our plates and I poured us some milk. Warmth filled my chest as I took in the scene happening before me, the simplicity of us waking together and sharing a breakfast so comfortably, like we’d done it a thousand times before. I was excited for our future. And moments like this were something I would continue to look forward to.

  After breakfast, Jason took over with the cleanup so I could get ready for work, and I glancing sporadically at the clock while I did so. I knew Zach would arrive within the next hour and a half. I hurried to get ready, throwing on a red blouse and a black pantsuit, then pulled my hair into a slick bun.

  “Luxe, come here! Your daddy is going to be here soon,” I hollered down the hallway.

  He immediately came running. “I don’t get to stay with Jason today?” He puckered his bottom lip out in disappointment.

  “Not today, buddy. I’m sorry, but you’ll have lots of fun with Daddy, okay?” I tried to reassure him, but I knew, just as he did, that he’d have much more fun with Jason since he actually paid attention to him and played with him.

  Jason snuck down the hall and scooped Luxe into his arms again, surprising him enough to make him squeal shrilly. “I’ll be here to watch you in a couple days, sound good?”

  “I s’pose so.” Luxe pouted anyway, and my heart broke for him.

  I grabbed his toothbrush and put toothpaste on it, then handed it to him. The little boy knew the drill, and he stepped up onto the stepstool by the vanity and began to brush his teeth. I knew that would keep him occupied long enough for Jason and I to sneak out of the bathroom and exchange goodbyes.

  “I’ll be seeing you later.” Jason growled the words against my ear, kissing my neck lightly enough that I could tell he was holding himself back.

  “We’ll see.” I teased, winking.

  His eyes narrowed, but he knew I was kidding. “I’d better get out of here so your drop-off with Zach goes smoothly.” Jason arched his brow, shrugging. “Or, I could hang out and introduce myself?”

  “Definitely not. Get out of here.” I laughed.

  He pulled me against his chest, hugging me to him as he leaned his head down, pressing his lips to mine. We pulled away reluctantly, and he held me there. I watched as his eyes flitted between my eyes and mouth.

  “I love you.” He brushed his fingers from my temple, down my cheek, and jaw, sending chills down my spine.

  “I—”

  Jason’s finger pressed gently against my lips, and he shook his head. “One step at a time,” he whispered, smiling coyly. He let his finger trail across my lip as he pulled away, then left.

  I was left standing there, my body screaming for one more touch. I was about to say those three words out loud, damn it!

  I sighed, dreading the fact that Jason wouldn’t be here with my little dude today, making him happy and having a blast with him. Instead, Luxe would probably be told to go watch TV because Zach had work to do, just like always. Real quality time, I thought drily.

  I finished getting Luxe ready. Shortly after, a loud knock announced Zach’s arrival.

  It never failed, every time Zach came to pick him up, my mind usually flooded with all the awful things he’d done to our family behind my back.

  But
, today was different. Today, I didn’t care.

  ENTERING THE APARTMENT building again after getting Luxe safely tucked into the backseat of Zach’s Civic, I was experiencing mixed feelings. Sadness tugged at my heart because I wouldn’t be coming home to Jason and Luxe playing together, but I was anticipating some much-needed time with Jason all to myself tonight.

  Almost at the top of the staircase, I stopped dead in my tracks. I could faintly hear Jason’s voice.

  And a woman’s voice I didn’t recognize was responding to him.

  “We were so good together,” was all I could hear her say, which was more than enough.

  I slowly and quietly made my way up the stairs, making sure Jason couldn’t see me. My heart dropped to my feet, my stomach churning wildly as rage pooled in my veins. Shock and disappointment crept up into my throat at the sight happening down the hallway, only a handful of feet from my doorway.

  The woman leaned in, kissing him. And Jason came forward, leaning into the kiss, too.

  He didn’t back away.

  The fucking asshole kissed her. And, to make matters worse, she looked a whole lot like me from what I could see. Red hair, curvy hips, same height.

  If that’s not a slap in the face, I don’t know what is. Hell, maybe her name is Leah, too.

  I looked away, ducking into my apartment so I didn’t have to bear witness to his blatant betrayal. I heard the door close behind the two of them in Jason’s apartment as well. Tears burned my eyes as I fell against the door, sliding to the floor. With my head in my hands, I ripped the elastic from my hair and let the crimson strands topple over my shoulders. I ran my hands through it, pulling harshly, just to feel any other pain than the betrayal searing my insides.

  I’m a fool. I fucking knew better. I knew it was too good to be true, and I still let myself fall for the son of a bitch.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  JASON

  Everything had changed, thanks to Leah and Luxe moving in next door. I had to admit, when I met her that first day in the stairwell, and she’d snapped at me for trying to help her pick up the items she’d dropped, I never would have believed that introduction would lead us to here. To now.

  Because the now between us was good. Really good.

  And maybe that’s why I should’ve known Destiny would show back up here and try to destroy the content little life I’d found.

  The knock on the door had been a surprise in itself. I knew it wasn’t Leah, because she always texted or called first—her own personal habit, I guess. And if it’d been a delivery guy or something, they wouldn’t have made it into the building without buzzing my apartment doorbell and waiting for me to let them in. And, in all the years I’d lived in this building, not once had any of my other neighbors come to my door asking for favors. Hell, I barely knew them.

  Which was why I should’ve known Destiny was on the other side of that door, and yet my chest had constricted, immediately convincing myself it had to be Leah because, well, everything I said, did, and thought about had to do with her lately.

  “Hello, Jay.”

  I would’ve slammed the door in her face if I hadn’t been so completely bowled over in disbelief by her presence. “Destiny?”

  “It’s me,” she said with a coy grin. “I know it’s been a while, but—”

  “More than eight months,” I bit out. “That’s more than a while, I’d say.”

  The edge in my voice must have caught her off guard, because I saw her smile falter slightly. Just as quickly, it was back in place. “Can I come in? Just for a bit.”

  Her hand came out to rest on mine, which I’d placed on the trim of the doorway, blocking her entry to the apartment. My apartment, not hers.

  I flinched, immediately pulling it away from her grasp. “There’s no reason for you to be here, Destiny. I’ve said everything I wanted to say.”

  “Well, I haven’t.” She jutted out her bottom lip. “I’ve missed you, Jay.”

  Funny, until that moment, I hadn’t realized that Leah didn’t call me Jay. It was always Jason on her tongue, not the short form. And until then, I hadn’t realized that was okay, because I wasn’t Jay anymore, anyway. Jay was gone, and he’d left at the same time Destiny had decided to walk away.

  That left only Jason Nightingale, the man I was now.

  And that man was content and happy with the pretty lady down the hall, the woman who’d shown me there was more to life than regretting the past.

  Leah was my life now, not Destiny. And Leah had opened her heart up to me—to Jason. The woman standing in front of me didn’t have a hope in hell of changing that.

  “I can’t say the same,” I said, my voice low. “And I’d apologize for that, but I can’t really say I’m sorry, either.”

  It may have been a trick of the lighting, but I swore I saw her roll her eyes. “Oh, you always were so dramatic.” She pushed against my arm, intent on pushing past me, but I locked my elbow, letting the muscles in my forearms bunch. I refused to let her through.

  Destiny pushed herself up against my arm, her breasts pressed against me. She didn’t try to force herself through again, but she stayed in place, turning her face to mine, a war of wills battling silently.

  “No, Destiny,” I repeated, knowing damn well she could count on one hand how many times she’d heard me refuse her anything in the time we’d been together. “I mean it. There’s no place for you here anymore.”

  “You don’t know that,” she said, a little too sweetly.

  “I know it for a fact. You should go.”

  Finally, her eyes narrowed, the unspoken truth sinking in. “You’ve got someone else?” Her eyes flitted past me, as though I had someone hidden within the depths of the apartment.

  I nodded. “I’ve moved on. You should, too.”

  She brought her gaze back to mine. “You can’t be serious.” Her voice was barely a whisper, her face so close to mine I could see the confusion in her eyes.

  “I’m very serious.” I shifted my weight, standing my ground. “You should go.”

  “But we were so good together.”

  I’d have been well within my rights to laugh at the audacity of her statement, but I struggled to keep my tone just as soft as hers. “Were. It’s just a shame you figured that out too late, Dest.” I swallowed, hard. “I’ve forgiven you for it, I really have. But I mean it when I say, there’s no place for you here anymore. Not in this apartment, and not in my heart. Someone else holds that place now, and I hope you can find the same someday.”

  I watched as she bit down on her lower lip, and I waited with bated breath to hear what kind of retort she’d come up with.

  I never expected her to lean forward a few inches and kiss me.

  Destiny’s lips pressed against mine just as quickly as her hands snaked around my waist, knocking me off balance. My weight had been on the wrong foot, and as I let go of the doorframe to push her away, it caused me to fall forward, closer to her instead of away.

  It lasted only the briefest moment, and my hands were on her uppers arms within seconds. I held her away from me, pissed off that her little stunt had allowed her to make it past the threshold. “What the hell, Destiny?” I hissed, my eyes wide in disbelief. “Did you not hear a goddamn word I said?”

  “Every one of them,” she confirmed, breathing hard. “But I think you’re making a mistake.”

  This time, I didn’t hold back the hollow laughter, and I let her go, taking a step back. “That’s where you’re wrong. You made the mistake. Eight months ago.” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, not wanting any remnant of her left on me. “I’m not going to ask you again, Destiny. I want you to leave. We’re done here.”

  She crossed her arms, making every attempt to look defiant. But reality had finally sunk in, and doubt shadowed her eyes. “You’re going to regret not—”

  “I won’t,” I snapped. “But it’s nice to know you finally figured out what regret is. At least, I’m assuming you have, or else
you probably wouldn’t be here now.”

  “That’s not fair.” All the fight had gone out of her voice.

  “No, it’s not, but neither was the way you left me. You were so convinced there had to be something better out there than me, it never occurred to you that the way I loved you could actually be enough.”

  Destiny’s throat moved as she swallowed, her jaw set in a tight line. “Does she?”

  “She?”

  “The woman you’re in love with now?” she said flatly. “Does she think your love is enough?”

  I stared at her, silent. Then, “Yeah.” I nodded. “Yeah, I think she does. And I’ll do everything to make sure it is enough. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  I wasn’t sure I meant to say those words aloud, but there they were, and I raised my gaze to meet hers. I felt just as deflated, and defeated by the entire conversation, but no animosity or anger fueled my last words to Destiny—the words I hadn’t had the chance to say when she walked away from me so many months before. “Goodbye, Destiny.”

  She stood still as a statue, intense eyes set on me, her hands clenched tightly at her sides. Her lips parted, and I was certain she was about to resume her feeble argument. Instead, her features softened, and she gave me a knowing nod.

  “Goodbye, Jay.” She retreated without another word, her crimson hair fanning out like a train behind her.

  AFTER THAT, ALL I WANTED to do was sneak over to Leah’s apartment and get lost in the little world between those four walls. That was the environment I craved, one that included her, the brightest and sexiest woman ever to grace me with her presence, and the feisty little boy with a heart of gold and adorable smile.

  That’s where I wanted to be. That’s where I belonged.