How to Lose Your Dragon (The Immortality Curse Book 1)

by Peter Glenn

  Two down. But there were still three of them and a dog, and I wasn’t exactly at the top of my game anymore.

  Bat Boy and Pipe Guy came at me next in something of a team. Lanky Guy still hadn’t moved, yet, and neither had the dog. I was left wondering why a little too long, and the other two got the drop on me.

  Bat Boy’s left hook caught me right in the jaw, and I spun as stars filled my vision for a half second. I ended up smacking into the car, and it was all I could do to keep on my feet as my weapon fell clattering to the ground.

  I spun back around just in time to see Pipe Guy lunging for me again. I managed to dodge around the side of him, and he slammed into the car as well, his head going through one of the windows.

  A hail of glass shards and blood flew everywhere as his head was torn to pieces by the old window. Apparently, these ones weren’t made to shatter gracefully like the stuff in the pricey models.

  I landed a few blows to Pipe Guy’s kidneys, and he stopped moving, at least for the moment, while I turned to face the inevitable follow-up from Bat Boy.

  But Bat Boy wasn’t attacking me anymore. He was staring into the open car, eyes glinting in the moonlight.

  The blood drained from my face as I realized what Bat Boy had found. Grax’thor was there. Their goal. Some defender I’d turned out to be.

  I rushed forward, head low and aimed at his abdomen right as Bat Boy’s arms reached into the car.

  The two of us tumbled into the open door and I heard a loud creak as the door flew backward on its hinges, coming off the car and sending both of us tumbling to the ground. The impact hurt a lot. Bat Boy had something else hard in his pocket, and it jammed itself into my leg as we fell, leaving behind a nasty bruise.

  I strained to get up on my feet, panting and leg throbbing, and failed. Instead, I started crawling, struggling to get back to the car. I had to defend Grax’thor. It was Mei’s only hope.

  Lanky Guy and the failinis finally made their move. The dog pounced on top of me, wrapping its jaws around my injured leg. With its mouth clamped around my leg, I howled in pain. I was stuck in place, helpless to do anything but watch while it thrashed and growled on top of me.

  “Grax’thor!” I screamed. “No!”

  But Lanky Guy was undeterred. He sauntered up to where the car door had been and reached in to pull out Grax’thor. He held the blade for a moment and stared at it as it glinted in the moonlight.

  Bitch.

  “You lose,” he said in a gruff tone, looking down at me, the corners of his lips curled into an evil smile.

  All around him, the other attackers were starting to rise off the ground. Well, most of them, at least. Half-Naked Guy wasn’t moving, but the other three were all shambling back to their feet.

  “Failinis!” Lanky Guy commanded. The dog’s incessant noise stopped for a moment. “Finish him.”

  Well, wasn’t that just awesome? Being mauled by a mythical dog was not how I wanted to go.

  The dog released my leg, and a low growl erupted from his jaws. I braced myself for the attack, but nothing happened.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched in amazement as a rather large fireball flew through the air, slamming into the failinis’s side.

  I blinked, not able to believe my luck. Had someone just saved me from certain doom?

  The dog yelped and got back to its feet, but another fireball followed the first, careening into the beast’s head. The failinis went slack a moment later as the acrid smell of burning dog hair assaulted my nostrils. I watched it for another moment, but it stopped moving.

  “Leave Damian alone!” a shrill voice demanded from somewhere behind me.

  A big smile crept over my lips. That had sounded like Rick. Was he secretly a wizard this whole time? What a conversation that would be, huh?

  I spun around to look at the voice. It was Rick, all right, but Sheila was next to him, fire blazing between her fingertips.

  Saved by the blood mage, then. Slightly less shocking, though I was curious as to Rick’s part in it all the same.

  Lanky Guy’s eyes went wide, and he stared at the new threat for a moment, then his grip tightened around Grax’thor and he took a step toward Sheila.

  Two more fireballs flew out of her hands. The first one landed at Lanky Guy’s feet, the second crashed into Pipe Guy, who was standing next to him.

  Pipe Guy screamed and fell to the ground in a mass of burning flames and skin. The smell was even worse than that of the failinis.

  “We said leave him alone, eh?” Sheila told him. “And we meant it.” She doubled down on her attack stance, face looking grim, and readied more fireballs in her hands.

  Lanky Guy huffed and let out a whistle, then he turned and left, his prize in his hands.

  Wiry Chick and Bat Boy followed closely at his heels, dragging Half-Naked Guy with him, and soon enough, it was just me, Rick, Sheila, and a couple of burning corpses piled around the remnants of the rental car.

  “Grax’thor!” I cried out, one hand held over the wound in my abdomen. “They took… Grax’thor!”

  Either Rick or Sheila must have heard me, because I heard the sound of footsteps rushing toward me, though my vision was starting to blur, so I couldn’t see which one it was.

  “Are you all right?” Sheila’s voice broke through the stillness of the night as she reached my side, placing one hand behind my head to cradle it. “Are you all right, Damian?”

  My lips cracked into a toothy grin. “Never better.”

  Then it all went black.

  12

  When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that I had a crashing headache. The second thing I noticed was that it was now daylight.

  I rummaged around and pulled my phone out of my pocket to look at it. No missed calls or messages, which wasn’t exactly shocking, but the time was ten o’clock in the morning.

  Damn. More than half my allotted time was gone already, and I was no closer to locating Mei. In fact, my enemies were closer to their goal, and I was over here wallowing on someone’s couch.

  At least, I was pretty sure it was a couch. It was plush and velvet, but it didn’t feel like a bed.

  “Ugh, my head,” I said out loud, putting my free hand over my eyes.

  “Damian?” someone asked. They walked over to where I was laying.

  “Rick, old buddy?” I asked. “Is that you?”

  “Uh huh.” He nodded and knelt down next to me. “How you feeling, Damian?”

  I flashed Rick a big smile. He was being unusually nice to me. Was it the whole saving his life twice thing? Must have been. I couldn’t imagine another reason why he’d be so nice to me all of a sudden.

  Well, whatever it was, I’d take it. “You know me,” I said. “Never better.”

  Rick chuckled. It sounded good coming from him. “Oh, Damian, you’re such an idiot.” He got up and walked back over to his chair. “Get up, already. You’ve slept half the day away, you big lout.”

  That was more like my Rick. I instantly felt better now that things were going back to normal. I groaned a little and sat upright. My head swirled for a moment, but it settled itself quick enough.

  “Sure thing, buddy. Not like I got attacked by five people last night while you ran off like a scared little chicken or anything.”

  I hadn’t meant it to sound harsh, but Rick winced a little and I knew it had hit a mark. And I had told him to do it.

  “I’m… I’m sorry,” I said. “That was a little much.”

  Rick seemed slightly mollified. “Yeah, about that,” he said slowly, “I suppose I should thank you or something.”

  “Heck yeah, you should,” I fired back. “That’s twice now I’ve saved your stupid neck!”

  Rick’s cheeks flushed, and he reared his head backward. “Yeah? Well I saved you back!” He folded his hands over his chest. “I’m the one who got Sheila to come and rescue you.”

  “You did that? For me?” A small tear was starting to form in my eye. It
looked like Rick cared about me, after all. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. “You shouldn’t have.”

  “Pfft,” he replied. “You got that right. You’re more trouble than it’s worth. Even for five-thousand dollars.”

  “Hey, I never said the job would be easy,” I muttered back at him.

  Rick rolled his eyes and then glared at me. “There’s easy, and then there’s almost getting killed twice in two days!”

  Looked like it was my turn to wince. He had a point. Of course, I hadn’t known he was going to get involved like this, either. Originally, I’d imagined he’d just feed me the translation and go back to his day job. Never in a million years did I think he’d get caught up in this mess.

  “I couldn’t have known they were going to go after you, too!” I said, feeling a bit hurt. “Besides, I still saved your sorry hide!”

  “Now, now, children,” Sheila’s soft voice came lilting into the room. She walked in a moment later, holding a tray with something that smelled heavenly on it, though I couldn’t quite see what it was. “There’s no need to argue like that. Everyone’s alive. That’s what really matters.”

  I hung my head low, as did Rick, feeling thoroughly reprimanded.

  “Yes, Sheila,” we both said at near the same time.

  “Sorry,” I added. I looked straight at Rick. “I can’t imagine any of this has been easy for you, and yet you put your neck on the line for me.”

  Rick stared at me for a moment and his features softened. “And I’m sorry for yelling at you. You’re a… halfway decent swordsman.”

  It wasn’t much of a compliment, but coming from Rick, it meant the world to me. My face beamed back at him.

  “Aww. Come here, you,” I said, holding my arms wide for a hug.

  Rick didn’t budge, and I dropped the arms a moment later, feeling deflated.

  “Your friend here was brave last night, too,” Sheila said a moment later, setting down the tray. “He gave me his blood so I could work the magic to save you, eh?”

  I side-eyed Rick. “You did that? But I thought you didn’t believe in magic?”

  Now Rick’s cheeks were burning even fiercer than before, and he turned his head a little to hide his eyes. “It was nothing, okay. Just like a blood drive.”

  “Oh, you’re not getting away that easy!” I insisted. I got up from the couch, noting as I did so that it didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I’d expected it to, and ran over and threw my arms around him.

  “You’re the best, buddy!” I patted him on the back a few times while I held him.

  “You’re… good… too,” Rick said through a pained expression.

  It was only then that I realized he looked pretty shaken by the whole hug thing and was withdrawing in on himself. I let go of him and gave him one more light pat on the back, then took a step back. Apparently, Rick wasn’t the touchy type. I could adjust to that. Okay, not really, but I’d try not to hug him again without permission.

  “Sorry, Rick, I was overcome with emotion,” I said, flashing him another grin.

  Rick turned his head just a little until he was just barely looking at me. “Yeah, well, it was nothing,” he grunted.

  “Well,” I said, clapping my hands together and changing the subject, “Sheila, what’s on that wonderful tray of yours? It smells just heavenly.”

  Sheila’s face brightened. “Oh, nothing special, just some green tea and a few cookies fresh from the oven. Feel free to enjoy, eh?”

  I didn’t need any more nudging than that. I grabbed two of the cookies and stuffed them in my face. The sugar hit me almost immediately, quelling my growling stomach.

  “My favorite,” I mumbled, mouth still half-full of cookie. “White chocolate macadamia.”

  Sheila nodded. “I know, Damian. That’s why I made them.”

  I grinned at her and nodded my thanks, then wolfed down the rest of the cookies and took a sip of the tea. It was good, too, but the cookies were definitely my favorite.

  After a few minutes of eating, Rick finally broke the silence. “So, where to today, Damian?”

  The events of the previous night came rushing back and my skin went all tingly. I shrugged. “Not much, I guess. Wait around for the end of the world. They took Grax’thor, remember? Boudicca can cast her ritual now. We’re screwed.”

  Okay, maybe not the best thing to say right after eating those amazing cookies. Maybe I should have thanked Sheila instead…

  “Really?” Rick let out a huff. “You’re just going to give up like that?”

  “Well what else am I supposed to do?” I threw my hands up in the air. “They won, okay? I’m just one dude against an army. No way can I steal Grax’thor back that easily. Even if I knew where Boudicca was hiding.”

  That was the real problem. Getting back the sword wouldn’t be too hard. Heck, I even figured I could take out half her army. She couldn’t have that many thugs, could she? But without knowing where they were…

  “There’s got to be something,” Rick insisted.

  “Indeed,” Sheila added. “Good boy, Rick.” She patted him gently on the arm and he gave her a slight smile.

  He seemed to like the attention she was lauding on him.

  “Well, what then? Boudicca only needed three things, and she has them all now.”

  “Does she really?” Sheila asked. “Are you sure about that?”

  I shrugged. “I think so. She stole the dragon and the sword already. The only other thing she needs is an artifact from her old life, and she can do the binding ritual. And there were plenty of trinkets hanging around in her tomb for her to choose from. I should know. I was there, remember?”

  Rick and Sheila both nodded and were quiet for a moment. Rick was the first one to break the silence. “But then, why did they come north to Canada?”

  “Pfft. They were following me, remember?” I spat at him. “I came up here to seek Sheila’s help. Her men were just following me.”

  Rick’s face contorted into a frown. “I suppose that’s possible, but there’s something that’s been bugging me since the assault last night. If they were just following you around, then why were they at the border crossing ahead of us?”

  I opened my mouth to say something witty in response and closed it up again a moment later. “I… uh… I don’t really know, I guess.”

  “That was my thought, too,” Rick continued. “It doesn’t make any sense. How would they have known which gate we were going through before we did?”

  I rubbed my chin for a moment. “That makes a lot of sense, now that you mention it. And they sure did have a lot of people up here. Quite the operation going, from what I could tell.

  Rick nodded. “Uh huh. None of it makes any sense. Why send so many people up to Canada before we even get here, unless…”

  “Unless there was something else they were looking for, too,” Sheila broke in.

  My eyes lit up as realization finally dawned on me. “The clothing from Boudicca’s old life! That must be up here somewhere. They must have come for it and getting me and Grax’thor in the process was just a bonus.” I slapped my thigh and raised my hands in the air. “We’re not screwed after all! We still have time to fix things!”

  “Woohoo!” Rick chimed in. “So where do we look?”

  “Hmm,” I said, resting my head on one hand. I reached for another cookie, but there were none left. What can I say? I was really hungry. Way more than normal. “I’m not really sure, I’m afraid. Canada is a really big place.”

  “That’s true,” Sheila added, “but you can be fairly certain it’s somewhere near here, or they wouldn’t have found you so quickly.”

  “Valid point,” I agreed. “I suppose that narrows it down quite a bit.”

  “I’ve got it!” Rick shouted, pointing to something on his phone.

  He held it up for all of us to see. I couldn’t read all the tiny words, but the headline mentioned something about new Celtic artifacts on display at the Museum of Anthropology i
n Vancouver.

  A big smile creased my lips. “Of course! A museum! Why didn’t I think of that?”

  Rick chuckled again. “Guess we’ve got a shot after all, eh Damian?”

  “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s head to the museum!”

  The Vancouver Museum of Anthropology was quite busy at one in the afternoon, which I found a bit shocking because it was a Friday, but I guess people who were interested in history just couldn’t wait for it to officially be the weekend.

  It didn’t really matter. All that mattered was finding the Celtic exhibit and locating the item that belonged to our late queen. Then somehow steal it out from underneath all the guards, cameras, and other guests without getting caught.

  Easy peasy, right?

  Part of me wished that I had spent more time and attention in all those strategy classes my mom had put me through all those years ago so I could be a “good little Chinese warrior.” But even if I had, I somehow doubted they would have covered this scenario.

  So I was heading into the museum without really having any plan worth mentioning. I decided to keep Rick and Sheila in the dark. No need to let them know I had no idea what to do. Better to let them find that out naturally. Maybe then they wouldn’t yell at me quite as harshly when the truth did come out. A guy could dream.

  Anyway, we made it through the front gate easily enough. They’d wanted IDs, but Sheila was able to sweet talk the gate guard into believing her two “stupid American cousins” had left theirs in the hotel, and after a few minutes of pleading and a flash of her platinum card, he’d let us all in without any further fuss.

  It was good to know that at least one of the three of us still had access to things like money and a working car. Honestly, without Sheila’s assistance, we would have been completely helpless. I’d have to remember to be nicer to her about the whole blood magic thing in the future. Sheila was a better friend than I deserved.

  Up ahead of us was the entryway to the museum. It housed a rather large piece of native Canadian artwork made of wood. It looked kind of like an eagle trying to stomp down on a pot lid while young kids tried to crawl out from underneath it. All in all, it was pretty cool to look at. A nice centerpiece to draw the room together. I couldn’t tell what story it was trying to tell, but that didn’t really matter. Three hundred years on this rock and I still never understood art.